Holding On To A Promise

by grannydew, posted in The Promise Series

Chapter 1

He couldn’t believe what his eyes were seeing, she was there, just as before. As he walked toward her she turned to look at him, she smiled, ” Can, I’ve been waiting for you. Hope you don’t mind” She looked like an angel as he slowly sat down in front of her on the grass, ” Not at all, welcome, have you been waiting long.” He asked, not taking his eyes off of her. She shifted her eyes away, almost embarrassed at the reply, ” No not long, just about 4 hours.” Her voice low and sounding unsure. He smiled slightly, ” I’m glad you came, and I’m glad you waited. Is there something you want to tell me.” He asked, begging her with his eyes. ” Yes there is, first of all I’m glad you’re home and second, I think we should take things very slow. I want to get to know you again.” She looked into his eyes, she could always tell what he was thinking through his eyes. 

He wasn’t sure if he could take it slow. This overwhelming desire to cover her body with his, to taste her lips as he had many times before, to touch her skin and let it soothe his heart, all of that was almost more than he could bear. ” Why Sanem, I remember everything about you, I still feel all those feelings that I had before, I still need to touch you, see you. I don’t need to get to know you again.” His voice dripping with emotion and his eyes filled with tears…. Sanem smiled slightly, ” Can there has been a huge change in my life, all those things I took for granted were challenged when I had my accident. It took me a long time to get used to my life as it is now. The cane may be something that I never get rid of, and this scar on my face is a constant reminder of that day.” Can looked away, not wanting to see the hurt that was still so visible in her eyes. She touched his arm, ” Can, I want to try and get back what we had, but I’m a different person now. I hope you can respect that.” 

All those things were ringing in his head as she spoke, ” Different, changed, those were words he didn’t want to hear. She was his Sanem, a woman that had made him whole again. He wanted that woman, the one that made him feel, the one that set his heart on fire with a desire, the woman that saved him from a life of loneliness. She was right there in front of him, at least in human form, but she trying to tell him that her feelings for him had changed. He stood quickly, and walked a short distance away, ” So, are you saying that maybe you don’t have the same feelings for me as before. Is it your doctor friend that has influenced your thoughts about me?” He turned to look at her, his eyes rimmed with tears and his face full of hurt, ” I know he asked you to marry him, and I know you must have refused his offer or you wouldn’t be here now. But I don’t understand why you feel we need to get to know each other again.” He moved closer to her, close enough that she could almost feel his heart beat, ” You did refuse his offer didn’t you.” He asked, his voice nothing more than a whisper.

She raised her eyes to meet his, she looked into those eyes that had always captivated her, those eyes that always left her weak, those eyes that always left her wanting more, ” Yes Can, I refused Omer’s proposal. There was never a question about that, I was not in love with him.” she spoke with a firm voice. She smiled, but just slightly and shifted her eyes away, ” There’s only one love in my heart Can, and I think you know that.”  Those words made him feel as light as a feather, those were the words he had been waiting to hear. ” But that doesn’t mean I want to jump right back into our relationship where we left off. There were so many things we did wrong Can, that we have to fix them before we can move on,” she said as she gently touched his face.

Just that slight touch from her had set his heart on fire. ” Ok, I get it, so we will take our time, rebuild what we had. I know I hurt you in more ways than one. I did the one thing I told you I wouldn’t do and that was not listen to you, I didn’t give you a chance to explain or even talk for that matter, and for that I’m sorry. I promise, I have regretted every word that I spoke to you that night.” He pulled her close to him, resting his forehead on hers, ” Believe me, I have had plenty of time to relive every minute of that night and all the things I said. That kept me up most every night, just thinking about you and how stupid I was.” He kept her close to him as he drew in the smell from her that he had missed so much.

She felt him, this man that made her doubt her own reasoning, this man that stirred her soul to the point of no control, this man she loved more than herself, but this time she wanted it to be different. She wanted him to understand her, she wanted him to know the reasons she did the things she did. He had to know how scared she was when Fabri tricked him into assaulting him, then had him put in jail and it was all because of her. She just knew she had to do something about it and if giving up her perfume to him would fix it, then that was she would do… but her mistake was not telling him about it. “Can, I have made many mistakes in our relationship, most were to help you, to save you from the problems that tormented you throughout your life. Those mistakes I will not apologize for, but the keeping of things from you to protect you I will apologize for. I should have been honest with you up front about the contract with Fabri, and I did try to tell you, but things always got in the way.” She moved away from him slowly, but kept her eyes locked with his. She spoke softly, ” Can, everything I did, I did because I love you…and I would do them all again if I had to.”  He could tell this Sanem was much in control of her life and her feelings, as he watched her explain. She was more mature and sure of herself, and he couldn’t have loved her more at that point…..his feelings for her were would never change, never weaken, never mean less to him than right now, this moment……He loved her.

Chapter 2

So they would start fresh, begin a relationship with a whole new set of rules. He had accepted the fact that she would be in control, something a little out of the ordinary for him, but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. The evening hadn’t been what he thought it would be when he first saw her sitting there on his lawn. He remembered the first time he had seen her there waiting for him. Her admission of the love she had for him had made him the happiest he had ever been. He had just assumed they would stay as they had been, together, as close as two people could be that was in love, but she had thrown him a curve ball. 

After a little explaining how things would be, for instance, he would need to ask her out, maybe for dinner. Then he would have to be willing to talk, talk about his feelings, maybe even open up more about his wishes and desires. They would spend as much time together as possible, getting to know each other again. There would be no secrets from each other, and if they did something the other one didn’t agree with then they would have an in-depth discussion about it until the other one could understand. She smiled, giving him the look of confidence, ” See Can, it’s simple, all we have to do is listen to each other and love each other.” She told him, as she gazed into his eyes, feeling that giddiness that always accompanied his stare.

He couldn’t seem to take his eyes off of her as she laid out the rules in detail, her eyes were glistening, her lips moved so magically that it was hard to concentrate on what she was saying. He nodded in agreement, totally captured by her spell, ” Yes, I get it.” he answered, ” Whatever you say I’m willing to do. I think one mistake in my life is enough, so I don’t want to screw this up.” His smile melted her, it always did and always would, but the trick was not to let him see it. The thought of losing her again was something that he wasn’t fond of, as he remembered that night on the coast, seeing her walk away arm and arm with another man. That vision burned into his brain, in fact it almost caused him to something stupid. But now he had been given a second chance, they both had been tested and lost. This kind of love only came once into someone’s life, Sanem was his fate, she was the one person that had freed him from himself…

He had begged her to stay and let him make dinner for them, but she declined, ” No thank you, maybe another night when you have things a bit more prepared.” She replied, turning to walk away. Can jumped around in front of her, ” Wait, wait a minute, so you’re going just like that. When will you be back.” His words sounded so desperate it made her smile. He took her hand and brought it to the lips, kissing it softly, ” Please stay for a while, I really don’t want the evening to end. You know the last time you waited for me here like this I made us dinner and you stayed almost the entire night.” He spoke, leaning in close and kissing her cheek. Her smell encircled him, making him weak, how would he manage to survive this, he wondered.

Sanem had already thought about that night, it seemed so long ago but yet so vividly real in her memories. ” Yes, I do recall something like that, but didn’t you give me wine and make me lose my better judgement,” she asks him, looking into his eyes. Just as quickly she looked away as she felt herself being drugged by the charm of this man. As bad as she wanted to stay, she just as badly wanted to go, just to prove the point that they both would have to work a little harder for this relationship. She remembered the promises he made her that night also, the promise that he would always listen to her, always be there for her, and those promises were thrown aside the moment that she needed him to do just that.

” Can I really need to go.” She spoke softly, letting her fingers run through his beard. That feeling was something that he hadn’t felt in a while, and he missed it terribly. That simple gesture had always brought him to his knees. He closed his eyes, ” Ok, but I will pick you up tomorrow from work and we can come back here for dinner. I’ll fix everything myself. Will you, please.” He pulled her in close to his body and she could feel the heat radiate through to hers. This would be harder than she thought, as she felt her stomach fill with those butterflies. She hadn’t experienced that since he had been gone. He slides his hands down her arms, leaving a trail of goosebumps, “Sanem I have missed you more than I can say, just the touch of your skin makes me come alive.” He found that spot on her neck, sniffed in that special aroma, letting it soothe that part of him that had longed for her for so long.

She too, had let that feel of him being so close, rush over her, calming all the fears she had inside her. This man was all she needed, all she wanted and all that made things right within her. How would she be able to stay strong and insist on them rebuilding their trust and love at the same time…She moved away ever so slightly, ” Can you’re not playing fair, we need to give us some time.”  She spoke with a whisper. He pulled back, looking at her with desire, ” I didn’t know this was a game, is it….is it a game we are playing. If it is then no, I’m not playing fair. But this is not a game for me. You have been the only thing in my life that meant anything, so I’m not playing around.” His eyes took on a look of seriousness. Immediately she wanted to take back those words, but it was too late. 

She found his eyes and held that look as she caressed his face, ” I’m sorry Can, I didn’t mean it like that. It most definitely is not a game, and I won’t pretend it is. This is our lives, my life, the life I want to spend with you, but…this time I want us to be dedicated to it. To be able to accept each other as we are, with flaws. Neither of us are flawless, but that should make us love each other more. I don’t want a perfect life, I want a life that means something, a love that can withstand anything and anyone. I want trust and openness, that’s all we need.” She let her lips touch his, just barely at first, then she let her emotions come through and that fire that fueled their love took over. The taste of his lips was strong, and she realized how much she had missed him, as she felt him return the kiss and beg for more…

Her head was reeling… Yes, this would be a lot harder than she thought…..

Chapter 3

The ride home was almost silent but full of excitement. The shifting of their eyes to one another, the feel of his hand on hers and the smile that was tattooed across both of their faces. These were the little things that had Sanem filled with happiness. She had accepted his offer for dinner the next evening, but she wasn’t for sure how her mother and dad would react to it. Mevkibe had been more than cool to Can at Leila and Emres wedding, throwing daggers at Sanem with every look. Sanem knew this would probably be a battle within the family. But if there was one thing she had learned in the past year, it was her own strength, her own heart, and her own desire to live her life the way that made her happy. The talk with her mother about Can would definitely have to come sooner than later.

As Can stopped the car in front of her house, that anxiety of parting from her, if even for a single night, had already crept inside of him. He didn’t want to let her go, he always seemed to be saying goodbye to her. ” Sanem, I want you to stay with me, I want you to just sit here in the car with me all night.” He spoke, as he touched her face. That scar that ran down her cheek hurt him more than anything in the world, just knowing that he had been the cause of it. He traced it with his finger, he felt the pain of it deep down in his heart. Sanem smiled and spoke softly, ” Can it wasn’t your fault, I just wasn’t paying attention as I crossed the street. Maybe I was distracted, but it was my fault for not looking.” He nodded but knew the cause would be his to bear. 

The last thing Sanem wanted was his pity. If that was what she meant to him then she didn’t want this relationship. She pulled away, looking into his eyes, ” Can is the accident the reason for your feelings for me. Do you feel guilty and think you need to take care of me, be honest with me.” The look in her eyes scared him. ” Guilty?…..yes, I feel guilty for the words that I spoke to you that night. The words that have haunted me for months, the words that I wish I could take back but can’t, that’s what I feel guilty about. The fact that I hurt you so badly by not listening to you, that was something I promised I would do, always. But I didn’t……So yes, I am guilty.” He looked away as his eyes filled with tears, hoping she wouldn’t see the fear that gripped his heart. 

” I won’t tolerate your pity, if that’s what this is.” She stated. She turned his head to look in his eyes. What she saw was a man that was just as hurt as she had been, just as vulnerable and destroyed by the pain. ” My God Sanem, I don’t pity you, I pity myself for all the time we missed together. These scars only hurt me because they hurt you. What I did to us is something I won’t ever forgive myself for.” He told her as he kissed her hand. She knew his heart was aching and it was time for them both to heal and put this all behind them. 

“Ok ” she stated, changing the subject to a happier one, ” Let’s just move on. So tomorrow I get off a 5:00 and you plan on picking me up, right.” She spoke, her voice sounding like her old self again. ” You remember where Metins office is don’t you, and if Metin is there, maybe you both can clear the air a bit.” She told him, eager for that to happen. Can shook his head, ” Yes, that would be good, and I will be there before 5:00. Anything special you would like for dinner?” He asked, as the excitement built inside him. Sanem tilted her head to one side, “Hmm, no I think I will let you surprise me. Whatever you make will be wonderful, I’m sure.” She replied, tapping him on the nose. She laughed as she opened the door to step out, ” Wait, just 5 more minutes, please.” He begged, as he reached for her arm. 

She turned to him quickly, ” I remember that time when you kept asking me to stay 5 more minutes, until we both woke up on the hammock with the sun in our eyes.” Her eyes twinkled with delight as she reminisced about that time in their life. He hung his head, ” Yes, I remember all too well, I would have said or done anything to keep you with me, especially that night. You had just told me that you hadn’t been with Levant, that you didn’t even get in the car with him. It felt like a weight had been lifted from my heart.” He replied as he met her eyes. She could see the hurt that still lived there, the fear that all these memories brought to him. He continued, ” The thought of you being with another man was probably the worst torture that I have ever endured, so to hear that you didn’t leave with him that night, well you don’t know how relieved I was.” His eyes were soft and inviting as he begged for her company.

She smiled at him, wanting nothing more than to stay right there with him, relishing the thought of being near to him, but that was the way the old Sanem thought, the Sanem that was so easily swayed by him, so easily acceptant of what he wanted. ” That would be nice Can, but I have work tomorrow and it’s already quite late, so maybe another time. But I will see you for dinner, right.”  She replied, feeling the excitement quiver inside her… He nodded, reluctantly but he knew she had made up her mind to take everything slow, so he would have to accept it and go along with it. This time he wouldn’t fall into that pit of insecurity, his heart would surrender to her, listen to her, and most of all understand her.

He watched as she unlocked the door of her house and went in, stopping to wave at him before she closed the door. He smiled at her, returning the wave. His heart already missing her, his mind already wishing for tomorrow to come as she closed the door. For a second, he was transported back to the night after the presentation, and he had told her she was his love. How happy they were, how relieved he was to finally put an end to the “just friends” charade. But now here they were after all this time, still trying to find each other’s soul. He pulled away from her house and started home, how tired he was of leaving her, how tired he was of missing her, how sorry he was for not seeing how much she had loved him….

Principles, pride, loneliness, all these things were what made Can who he was. But now he knew that Sanem was the only person that had forced him to face these imperfections…

She had made him see the other side of Can…… the side that loved, the side that needed, the side that wanted to accept. He kinda liked that Can…….

Chapter 4

As he walked in his door that feeling of loneliness and emptiness hit him, just as It had while he was gone. That gnawing desire to touch her, feel her, smell her, was all that he could feel. He poured a whiskey and walked to the back yard, stretching out on the sofa. His heart wasn’t near as happy as it had been a few hours before when he came home and saw her sitting there on the lawn. He couldn’t turn off his thoughts, every minute that had meant something to him had been associated with her. It seemed that he had just found his life and started to live because of her and now he would have to start over. But at least he knew his mistakes, he knew what he had done wrong so he would be sure and not make follow that path again. The whiskey felt warm as it ran down his throat, it made him winch just a bit at the feeling. It had been a while since his last drink, and the effects would come quickly if he wasn’t careful. He slid down on the sofa, stretching his legs out and closing his eyes. He smiled as the vision of her filled his head, she was always there, just a thought away.

Sanem had tried to quietly escape to her room, but that wouldn’t be the case. She had barely closed her bedroom door when her mother opened it again, without even a knock. “Sanem, where did you go, you have been gone for hours, and you didn’t answer your phone.” Her eyes were squinted as she stood there waiting for an answer. At that moment Sanem fell back into that old habit of wanting to lie about where she had been, she felt the same need to cover up what was going on. The thought of telling her mom that she had been with Can made her heart palpatate, but why, she was 25 years old, mostly independent as far as financially, had been through more than most women should ever have to go through, so why should she hide the only love that she had ever known. Mevkibe stepped toward her, ” You’ve been with him haven’t you. I expect an answer Sanem, have you been with Can?”  Her voice sounding low and demanding. Sanem turned to face her mother, ” Yes Mom I have been with Can, please let’s not make it an issue.” Mevkibe closed her eyes and took a deep breath, ” Is that why you refused Omers offer of marriage, did Can give you all sort of promises to make you stay here.” She spoke. Sanem winched at her words, knowing how hard this was going to be. ” No mother, Can is not the reason I refused Omer, I didn’t love Omer and I never will love him.” She replied, standing firmly against her mother.

Mevkibe’s eyes soften as she look at her daughter, ” My daughter please don’t make another mistake. One, or maybe two mistakes can be justified, but after that it is just being foolish and blind. Can is a very charming man, one that is use to getting his way, but don’t let him influence your thoughts.” She told her, stroking her hair. Sanem stepped away, ” Mom, I am no longer a child, and Can did not influence me. Just because he was gone all that time doesn’t mean that I forgot him, or fell out of love with him. I still have my feelings for him, my heart is still full of love for him.” She spewed, throwing up all of her defenses. How she wished she had stayed with Can, then she wouldn’t have to explain herself to her mother. Her mother never understood why she hung on to those feelings of Can. Why she couldn’t just move on and make a life with Omer. 

Mevkibe had really tried to understand Sanem and Cans relationship, but all she could see was the hurt that they continually caused each other. ” Sanem, my dear, I’m only trying to keep you from being hurt again. Do you think that Can is capable of staying in one place long enough to make you happy, just think about it for a bit. When he walks away again you may not survive the consequences of another broken heart.” She told her, the words penetrating her heart. She turned away from the prying eyes of her mother, she didn’t want her to see the wetness in her eyes, see that those exact thoughts had already entered her mind. ” Mother we both have made a commitment and we both have the same feelings for each other. Mom, I can’t live without him,  I can’t breath without him, I simply can’t exist without him. Please don’t make me hurt you with my decision, just try and be open to it.” She reached for the mothers hand, searching for her acceptance. 

The ping from her phone alerting her of a text broke the moment, ” Go ahead Sanem, answer his text, but just be sure you know what you are getting into, prepare your heart for it.” She patted her daughters hand, closing the door as she left. Leaving her there alone to think about what she had said. She closed her eyes, she just wanted all those words from her mom to go away. She had already thought about all of that, she had told herself the very same things.

 She looked at the text…

” I don’t think I can do it…. I can’t wait until tomorrow to see you.” 

She smiled, those were her thoughts exactly, as she returned the text..

” Yes you can, but I feel it too. This will make us stronger..”   Send.

She waited for his reply….

” You’re right, as always. I’ll be there at 5:00 tomorrow, and not a minute late” …..

She held the phone against her chest, ” Please God, let me have the strength to love him, please let me have the strength….

He watched the stars twinkle, it made them look like they were moving, dancing about in the sky. He had watched these same stars in the sky a few months before and a thousand miles away, praying that she still loved him. Now here he was, still watching the stars and praying for her to come to him. The thought of her from earlier that evening went saw her sitting there on the lawn, warmed his heart, made him full of hope. He had made a lot of mistakes in this relationship, but he didn’t intend to make another one. He pulled her scarf from his pocket, though it was battered and had been mended from the tear that happened to it on that mountain in Sri Lanka, he carried it as if it was the most precious thing in the world. To him it was….

He looked at the stitches that had bound the fabric back together, thinking how similar this scarf was to their relationship. How symbolic this scarf was of his love for her…

All though their love had been torn, ripped apart by unforeseen obstacles, it could and would be mended. Each stitch meant the millions of times he had thought of her, the many times he had regretted the words he said…..

But still…..they were bonded together to make one…..In heart and soul..

Chapter 5

This was so unlike her, as she stood there in front of the mirror fidgeting with her blouse. She was agonizing over what to wear to the office, something she never did. But today was different, today was special, Can would pick her up from work and take her to his house for dinner. She needed to wear something that would be appropriate for the work place but also make Can take notice when he saw her. She quickly unbuttoned the blouse and threw it to the side, rejecting it as a possible candidate for the evening attire. She turned to her closet, looking desperately for the certain thing that would make her feel beautiful. She wanted to look mature yet spunky, not juvenile but stylish, maybe she didn’t even have a style, she just knew she wanted to look unforgettable. She searched to the back of her closet passing on all the things that she normally wore, until she came to a little black dress that she forgot she had. It was form fitting, with a high neckline, but there were no sleeves and it was cut at an angle revealing her bare shoulders. She had only worn the dress once to a hospital function with Omer, but she had gotten many compliments and a lot of attention from it. She held it up eyeing it, was it to much for the office she wondered, she could always slip a light sweater on over it for the day and take it off for the evening. She smiled, her mind turning back to the night before and the feel of his touch when he pulled her close to him begging her to stay…Yes this would be the dress….this would be the dress that just might make him stop in his tracks..

With the decision made she quickly put it all together. Red heels for a pop of color along with a statement and her hair she worn down, letting the natural waves lay softly down her back. She looked at herself with approval as she adjusted the lightweight sweater that would cover her for the office. This had been the perfect choice, now just to get past her mother. She would need to tell her she wouldn’t be home for dinner and that was another thing that she wasn’t looking forward to. But she was determined to hold her own, it was time for her to grow up and make her own decisions. 

Her mother never ceased to amaze her as she stepped out to the garden for breakfast. Mevkibe smiled at her, ” Good morning my dear, you look beautiful this morning. Is that a new dress.” She asked, eyeing her daughter. Sanem’s stomach was in her throat, ” No, it isn’t new, I just have worn it much.” Mevkibe motioned for her to sit, ” So is Can taking you out for dinner or is he preparing dinner for you. I know he’s  a great cook.” Her mother asked, staring intently at her. Sanem swallowed hard, ” Well, he’s cooking for me, so I won’t be home for dinner. He will pick me up from work and we’ll go from there.” She replied shifting her eyes away from her mother. “I see, so you have made your decision then. And what about the future Sanem, have you already forgot about the past and all that happened.” She stated, her voice sounding full of hurt. Sanem turned her eyes back to her mother, ” No mother I haven’t forgotten about the past, but I am trying to forgive the past. We have both agreed to take it slow, get back to knowing each other again. Neither of us were blameless in this relationship, and now that he realizes his mistakes, he is more than willing to accept that responsibly. Mevkibe nodded, ” I see, so he admits that what he did to you was wrong, that slapping you across the face with the insult of leaving with Polen was an unforgiveable thing to do.” Her mothers words lashes out at her like flames from a fire.

Can was up early, after a good nights sleep. He changed into some work out clothes and headed out for a run. He needed a good workout this morning to help him deal with the feelings that were pent up inside of him from the day before. Sanem had taken him over, she had filled every cell of his body with that desire to be with her. All of these feelings already existed, none of them had faded away, but now they seemed to be magnified and intensified by a million more. That need to be with her, that urge to touch her, feel her, it was running through him like a tidal wave. He would not disappoint her, not this time. Her image was permanently afixed in his mind as he finished up his run that morning and headed back to the house. He poured his tea and headed out to the garden, looking at his watch he saw it was only 8:00, as he sat down on the grass wondering how he would make it until time to pick her up. He sat there planning his day, maybe he would visit the agency and say hi to his old friends, then go shopping for the things to make his most favorite dish. He needed this evening to be perfect and special, it would be the first of many if he had his way about it..

Sanem was the first to arrive at the office as usual. Metin was always working, even before getting to the office he was taking care of business. She started with the daily calendar, checking to see the first appointment. Since she had been out of the office on Friday this were in a bit of a mess. Several messages were stuck on her desk with a sticky note and a couple had actually been written down on the appointment book. She made her tea and settled in at her desk to get things straightened out. Metin was one of the most sought-after attorneys in Istanbul, and the look at how his calendar was filling up, he would be busier than ever for the next few weeks. It took her a while to things in order, she pulled the files that he would be working on that morning and placed them on his desk as she did every morning. He had often told her he didn’t know how the office had run before she came to work there, she was the one that kept him focused and on time.

She glanced at the clock, ” It’s only 10:15, this day is never going to be over.” she thought as the ring of the phone startled her. ” Good morning Sanem, it’s good to hear your voice on the other end of the phone this morning.” Metin spoke. Sanem smiled, ” Good morning Metin, I was only gone for one day, so don’t act as if I was gone forever. What’s up?”  She asked, knowing he had probably already been working. ” I just wanted to let you know I was on my way, I had a breakfast meeting with Mr. Yildaz, I’ll tell you all about it when I get there.” He replied. Sanem was so proud of Metin, he had built a great business for himself, even after the split from the agency, he refused to let that get him down. The problems between Metin and Can were deep, but she knew that Metin would be willing to let them go if Can was. 

She still remembered that day when Can fired Metin. Nothing could have hurt Can more, she knew it, but his pride and the strong dislike of his mother had won over. In true Can fashion, he lashed out and punished the ones that were closest to him.

She hoped they could salvage their friendship….

Just as she hoped that her and Can could salvage their love…….

Chapter 6

Can parked in his usual spot in the parking garage, purely out if habit, and headed into the building. He was met by his dearest friend CeyCey, with Gulize not far behind. “Mr. Can, I’m so glad to see you. We didn’t have much time to talk at the wedding.” He spoke, throwing his arms around him. Can smiled, ” Hi CeyCey, good to see you.” He replied as he patted him on the back. Within seconds Deren appeared, her smile lighting up her face. “Oh Can, welcome. Come let’s go to my office.” She gushed as she linked her through his. Can nodded, and headed to her office, ” How are things Deren, isn’t the agency holding up ok. I feel really bad for just disappearing like that, but”…. Can hung his head, looking at the floor. Deren quickly interrupted, ” All is good now, so don’t worry about anything. You’re back and things will get back on track.” She announced, as she laid her hand on his.

Deren had always had feelings for Can, that dynamic and confident man that would blow into Istanbul a few times a year and knock the breath out of her. She had always dreamed of a life with him, she would try and imagine what that life would be like. But there was always that woman from London, Polen. He hardly ever brought her there, but when he did Mr. Aziz would make a huge deal out of it, parading her around like she was some sort of celebrity. But when Can took over the agency for his father, Deren thought for sure she would have that chance to make him see her. But then the unthinkable happened, a beautiful young woman named Sanem came to work there. Though not at all Cans type, she thought, she could see how he was drawn to her. And once again Deren was left with an unrequited love for Can and she was forced to watch as Sanem entered Cans life and took everything she had dreamed of. Over time she surrendered to the inevitable and accepted that Can and Sanem would be together. But then all the things that Sanem did to help Can and the agency blew up in her face and Can left her. In her heart, deep down she was glad, an snow he was back and she would have another chance to make him want her.

The unexpected touch from Deren took him by surprises and he quickly moved his hand away. He smiled, “I’m not sure if I’m coming back to the agency or not, but if you need my help while Emre and Leyla are gone I’ll be had to help out. Derek looked surprised, ” Oh, I guess I misunderstood then, I just assumed you had returned for good and were taking over again.”  Can nodded, ” You’re right about returning for good, but I’m just not sure about coming back to work yet. Sanem and I have a lot of catching up to do and I want to concentrate on that right now.” He stated, his eyes sending out that sparkle that only the mention of her name would give. Those words hit Deren hard, and she made a gasping sound that she hadn’t intended to make, but it came out before she could stop it. ” Sanem, you and Sanem…you have reconciled?” She stuttered, her eyes open wide. Can smiled broadly across his face, ” Yes, well kind of, we are working on it, but if I could have my way we would already be standing at the union table.” He announced with that Can Divit confidence that made him even more attractive. The earth fell from underneath Deren and she felt flushed, ” So, I’m sorry but I thought Sanem was involved with some doctor, I’m sure that is what Leyla and Emre had told us. We haven’t seen her since the accident, so we had no idea.” She spoke, her voice sounding shaky. Can lost that smile that had invaded his face and he turned to Deren, ” Yes, but not anymore. You know Deren, things aren’t always as they seem from the outside, I only know what Sanem has told me, that they see only close friends and now he’s has gone to work in another hospital. Sanem and I both are ready to get back what we had, and I believe we will do just that.” He stated looking a bit irritated by all her personal questions.

Sanem once again glanced at the clock, wishing the hands on the clock would turn a bit faster. Metin swung open the door, ” Well I’m here, did I miss anything. Good morning Sanem, you look exceptionally beautiful this morning.” His replied, his face full of surprise. She smiled and gave him a smirk, ” Ok, you’re just making fun now, and it’s hardly morning now. And you have a 12:30 lunch meeting with Mr. Aksoy from the Cetin Foundation, then your court date for the TurkCell Co. briefing is at 2:00. Then there’s nothing after that.” She reported, in her most official voice…. Metin smiled, ” I don’t know what I would do without you, you make me look good. And why are you looking so good today, is Omer picking you up for dinner.” He asked, with a bit of sarcasm in his voice. Metin had never cared much for Omer, in face he didn’t like him at all. He always felt like he was trying to keep Sanem away from all her friends, as if he was hiding her away just for him. She looked a bit shocked, ” No, Omer is gone, he took a position in a hospital in Kayseri, he left right after the wedding.” She explained.

Metin hadn’t expected that kind of news today, so did that mean that Sanem would be available again, maybe he would have his shot this time. He shook his head, ” No, I didn’t know that. It seems a little sudden though, did you know about it?” She looked as she explained, ” Well, to be honest Omer proposed to me and asked me to go with him to Kayseri, but I couldn’t. He knew I couldn’t, I just didn’t love him.” Sanem looked at Metin, dreading to tell him that her and Can were going to give it another try, ” Metin, Can and I are back together, well in a way. We are starting slow and letting ourselves get to know each other again.” She could see the doubt innMetins eyes. ” Metin he really wants this, he’s changed, and I love him. If I’m with him or not, I will always love him.” She replied, her voice cracking with emotion.

Metin turned away, he wouldn’t allow her to see the disappointment in his eyes. ” Well Sanem you know best you know your heart, and you also k ow Can, we both know Can. If he wants something, he’s not going to stop until he gets it, and that includes anything. I wouldn’t be your friend if I didn’t give you a few words of advice, be careful, don’t let him drag you down. I know he doesn’t intend to, but Can has a way of making people lose themselves. I think it’s because he’s so easy to love.” Metin smiled, letting that smile coverup his heart that was breaking.

Sanem could tell that the words he was saying to her had come from his heart and she appreciated him so much.

What she felt for Can would never be erased, and if that meant losing a piece of herself, than so be it…..He was the only person to make her happy…

Chapter 7

Metin quickly put his feelings in check, turning to her he asked, ” So it’s Can that’s taking you out tonight then.” Sanem smile, shaking her head and letting her enthusiasm beam from her like a ray of sunshine. ” Yes, yes picking me up here and we are going to his house. He is cooking for me tonight.” Her eyes were as bright as all the stars in the sky. ” I see, well have a wonderful dinner, but just remember what I said. And by the way, you look beautiful today, I hope he appreciates what he has.” He replied as he let his eyes linger there, wishing he had been a little bolder in his feelings. She smiled, ” Oh Metin, you say that to all the women, but thank you for the compliment anyway. Oh, Can will be here at 5:00 to pick me up and I know he wants to talk to you, are you going to be here?” She asked.  Metin wanted to say “no” but his better judgment took over, he would have to face Can sooner or later, ” I should be, yes I’ll be here.” He forced a smile, trying to put on the face of a devoted friend. 

Sanem patted her hands together, ” Good, I know he will be glad, he’s ready to clear the air with you. I think you are too, right.” She asked her eyes searching him for an answer.  Metin stammered for a minute then quickly changed the subject, ” Oh wow look at the time, I better get going if I’m going to make that lunch meeting, hey we’ll talk later.” He shouted back to her as he rushed out the door. She stared at the door, as she wondered what had gotten into him, but she passed it off as just his hectic schedule. She ordered in a sandwich from the deli down the street and worked on through the afternoon trying to get everything done before 5:00. Her excitement was growing stronger and stronger as the end of the day grew near. 

Can had spent most of the day at the agency. Deren had all but insisted they have lunch together so she decided on a popular place a few blocks from the agency. Can had really wanted to have lunch with CeyCey, just to be able to catch up on all the happenings while he had been gone, especially about Sanem, and the fact he had really missed him, but he went along with Derens plan. Derek had been a valued employee for many years and his Dad had treated her as if she was part of the family, but at times Can had felt a bit uncomfortable around her. Over the years she had let it be known she was interested in more than just a business relationship, so it always had Can on guard as not to lead her on. She was definitely not his type and had always tried to alleviate any of her advances toward him. They spent an hour together, going over all the details of his life for the past 8 months and her being totally involved with every word he said. 

Sanem had managed to get everything completed on time, even preparing the files for the meetings first thing in the morning and placing them on Metins desk. She checked the time, 4:30 she read, I finally made it, Can should be here anytime, she thought, her body filling with excitement as she thought about spending time with Can. It was her idea to be going slow with this relationship, but maybe she had made a mistake with that, every thought in her head was of what they had before. She was reliving each time they were along together, each time he had told her how much he loved her, each time the feel of his body against hers had completely made her lose her mind. But she would have to be in control, she wouldn’t be able to survive another heartbreak like before. She turned quickly as the door opened to the office, expecting to see Can, but Metin walked in, ” Hi Sanem, I finally made it through the day. I’ve been in a meeting or in court since 7:30 this morning.” He babbled, as he tossed his briefcase on the desk and flopped down in the chair. Sanem smiled, she had become so accustomed to him and all of his actions that it was scary. Metin was very much a creature of habit, as loyal as any person could be and had always treated her as a friend. He leaned back in the chair, “So I see you have the files ready for my morning meeting, thank you.”  Sanem nodded, ” Of course, someone has to look out for you, and it looks like I’m the only one to do it.” She smiled as she sat down in the chair across from him. Metin knew that to be truer than anything she could have said, he depended on her more every day, and some mornings just the thought of her seemed to help him cope. 

They were both involved in their conversation, laughing and joking with one another, when Can poked his head in Metins office,  ” Hello, am I interrupting anything.” He spoke, feeling that little pang of jealousy gently poke his heart. Sanem reeled around, her face exploding with happiness, ” Can, no not at all, come on in.” She quickly stood, reaching for his hand. Metin also stood, “Can, it’s good to see you, come on in. Sanem and I were just going over the day.” He replied cautiously as he extended his hand to welcome him. Can smiled, reaching to shake his hand, but not willing to relinquish the hold he had on Sanems hand. Sanem watched as the two exchanged their welcomes, her heart already jumping for joy at the sight. She had wanted this reunion for quite a while, she had tried to convince Can to take the first step in repairing their relationship months before he left,  but his stubbornness had always got in the way. Metin motioned for Can to have a seat across from him. Can glanced at Sanem, looking a bit uncomfortable, but he accepted the offer. ” Can, I’m glad to see you, how have you been. I hear you have been traveling some, …. Are you home for good or are you just visiting.” He asked, the question taking on a hint of sarcasm. 

Metin glanced at Sanem, seeing the look the came across her face, he knew she hadn’t liked the question. Metin laughed, ” I’m sorry, that was a stupid question, from what I hear your traveling days are over.” He continued, trying to lighten the mood. Can knew that Metin was making a point, and he could hear that twinge of doubt in his voice. Can replied, ” Yes, you heard correctly, my traveling days are over, I’m home to stay.” His statement was bold and direct, leaving nothing unsaid, as his eyes connected with Metins. Metin nodded slightly, knowing that look from his friend, a look he had seen many times before. He hoped that Can was being truthful, the last thing he wanted was to see Sanem hurt again.

Can could feel the uncertainty of his intentions from his friend, maybe it had been to long or to much had happened for their friendship to be restored. 

He looked at Sanem, he could see she had her heart was set on them rekindling this relationship… So he was willing to do what ever it took to make that happen…..even if Metin wasn’t …..

Chapter 8

There was this awkward tension between the two of them, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. She studied Metin, wondering why he had chosen to ask that kind of question and why he acted with such defensiveness. She spoke up, ” Well let me leave you two alone for a minute, I need to finish a couple of things and then I’ll be ready to go.” She smiled at Can, touching him on the shoulder. Can patted her hand, ” Ok, I’ll be here waiting for you, just take your time.” He replied giving her a wink and a smile. She turned to leave, but glanced  back at Metin, still confused at his actions. Metin nodded at her, as if to let her know everything was ok. But an uneasy feeling begin to rumble around inside her stomach as she hurried to finish her paperwork. 

” Can would you like a drink, I have our favorite whiskey if you would like.” Metin asked, moving toward the cabinet. Can nodded, ” Sure, but just one, I have to drive and I wouldn’t want anything to happen.” He started, eyeing his longtime friend. Metin smiled, ” Of course, your much to responsible for that.” The words stung Can, but he held his tongue, trying to figure out what had Metin so distant. Can took the glass, ” How’s your business holding up, it looks like you have made a good name for yourself. Sanem tells me you may be looking for a partner.” He looked around at the office, impressed with what he saw. Metin kept his eyes on Can, but being careful of what he said, ” That’s right, so Sanem has told you all about our office here. Yes, the clients are coming in left and right, I think a lot of it is due to Sanem, you know,  keeping me organized and on track. I don’t  know what I would do without her.” He remarked, not losing eye contact with Can.  

Ok, now he knew this wasn’t just a coincidence, as the words seemed to be aimed directly at him.  His hostile manner had been brought on by something and he needed to find out what it was. Before Can had a chance to reply Sanem walked in, ” Ok Can, I think I have everything lined out, and I’m ready to go. Is there anything else you need me for Metin?” She asked, feeling the tension as thick as smoke in the room. Metin looked at Sanem and smiled, ” No, I think you have done enough today, and thanks for making me look so good. You go and enjoy yourself tonight.” His eyes covering every inch of her as he talked. Sanem motioned for Can, ” Ok, come on Can, I’m starving, and I know you have something delicious planned for us for dinner.”  She reached for his hand. Can grabbed on to it, as if it was his life preserver then turned and looked at Metin, relaying the message with just one look, ” Metin, we will talk again I’m sure. It’s been nice to see you.” He stated, as he placed a protective arm around Sanem. 

He knew that look, that look from Metin that Sanem would never recognize, the look that said he wanted more than just a friendship. Those kinds of looks can’t be covered up or disguised, they are there for all to see. Especially if it’s someone you have known all your life and have witnessed these looks before. Can wondered if Sanem had any idea of Metins feelings, he thought she probably didn’t, or she would not have had him come there to pick her up or try to fix their damaged relationship. He knew he had to have a serious talk with him, alone without anyone knowing. A million things were running through his head as they walked to his truck, but he had to push them away, act as if they weren’t there or Sanem would bombard him with questions that he wasn’t prepared to answer. As he helped her into the truck he realized that he hadn’t told her how beautiful she looked today, or how wonderful she smelled. He climbed into the seat next to her, he smiled at her not wanting to waste a moment with her, ” You look beautiful today, but then again you always do, so it seems inadequate to even say those words.” He told her letting his eyes soak up all that innocent aura that she possessed. She smiled shyly and turned her head away, ” Thank you.” She replied as she buckled her seatbelt, taking a few hidden glances at him. 

He always took her breath away, that intensified and sensual charm that he carried with him everywhere he went, the dashing and sensitive gestures that could make a woman weak, all those things that you read about in a fairytale about a handsome prince. He had them all…. The drive to his house took a while, and her nerves were on edge but the thought of being alone with him made her feel anxious. She was still a bit self-conscious about the limp and walking with a cane, and the scar on her face. It was always there, looking right back at her, reminding her of that time in their lives. Maybe he saw nothing but that scar when he looked at her, maybe it triggered that guilt feeling inside him and he was trying to soothe his own feelings of what he had done. She shook her head, as if arguing with herself, she hadn’t realized she had done it until Can asked, ” Sanem, are you ok, you’re mumbling and I didn’t understand you.” He startled her, she jumped and quickly looked away, ” No, I’m fine, I was just thinking about something at work.” She told him, as she rubbed her forehead feeling one of her headaches coming on. 

Those headaches were another thing that had been a reminder of that accident. They were just one of the many reprecussions from her injuries. Along with the scar on her face and the damage to her lower back, she was also plagued with these headaches that were brought on mostly by stress. They were not a frequent occurrence, but they happened often enough for her to dread the possibility of them. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the seat, willing this one to pass without a major problem. Can reached for her hand, gently he kissed her fingers, ” Are you ok?” He asked, almost in a whisper. She smiled without opening her eyes, ” I will be, it’s just a headache, I guess it was too much paperwork today. It must have put a strain on my eyes.” She replied, with just his touch making her body tingle. He kept her hand in his as they drove, gently rubbing her fingers with his thumb. It was so relaxing, so mind numbing that she couldn’t believe that her headache was nearly gone by the time they arrived at his house. She smiled to herself thinking how appropriate, he could solve almost anything that caused her pain. 

Well almost anything. He had been the cause of the pain of her heart. He hadn’t listened to her or tried to understand why she had to do what she did. That was the reason for all her heartbreak, the sadness and the hurt….

But all she wanted now was for him to be the cure…..the one to take back all the pain… She hoped with all her heart that he would be….

Chapter 9

Can had outdone himself, the smell from the kitchen was heavenly. From the look of the outside table and the lights on the trees, he had been busy all afternoon with the preparations. It was all so lovely, it took her breath away, bringing back memories from the night she first told him she was in love with him. He was very proud of the way things looked and even more proud to bring the food to the table. He knew she would love it, he made sure he fixed what she liked most. Pasta with that delectable creamy white sauce with mushrooms and peppers, that always made her mouth water, along with a salad and a red wine. He had to smile as he popped the cork on the wine bottle, remembering all the times she had drank too much. But this time he wouldn’t let that happen, he wanted her to be sober and know what was going on, he didn’t want her to miss a thing…

At first, she refused that glass of wine, but then she decided she might need it to settle her nerves a bit. He obliged, pouring her a glass, as they relaxed by the pool. ” Can, you made everything so beautiful, even her food is gorgeous, and thank you for making my favorite dish.” She replied as she looked around at all the lights. He had turned it into a magical place, but he always did have a flair for the romantic. He bowed to her, ” Anything for you my lady, and this is just the beginning.” He spoke, as he held her eyes with his, making her feel like he was looking straight into her heart. She felt the heat rise to her face and she knew she must be blushing, as she turned away to catch her breath. He always had such an effect on her, without even trying, he could reduce her to a puddle of mush, and he knew it. 

The meal was delicious, and Can was charming and attentive as they ate. He was full of questions, asking about her job and how she got along with Metin, ” So exactly how long have you worked for Metin, did he help you through your injuries after the accident.” He quizzed her, feeling a sense of guilt as he asked about it. It was still a topic he wasn’t at ease talking about. But he needed to find out as much as he could about the relationship between Metin and Sanem. Sanem paused, a little curious about the conversation, ” No, he didn’t help me through it, he visited me after I came home, but only a couple of times. He would call and check on me about once a week. But after I was able to get around better he convinced me to come to work for him, that was about 6 months ago.” She told him. Can shook his head, “Oh it’s great you were able to help him out, but what about your writing, are you not writing.” Can asked. Sanem smiled, ” I am, but just not a often as I would like, it’s hard after a long day at work to come home and stare at a notebook. My inspiration seems a bit laxed so I haven’t made much progress with the book. But I intend to keep working on it, and Metin always encourages me to keep up with it.” Sanem stated, her voice full of praise for her friend. 

Can ran those words over and over in his head they finished their dinner, he was sure that Sanem had no idea that Metin was interested in her,  and not just as a friend. This would be a hard subject to discuss with Metin, and he could see where they may not come to the best conclusion. He thought of Omer, he wondered if he even knew that Metin had these feelings for Sanem, probably not because he didn’t know Metin as well as he did. Can knew Metin as well as he knew himself, and he respected him.  The touch of Sanems hand on his arm brought him out of his deep thoughts, ” Can, hey are you ok, what are you thinking about?” She asked, looking at him with concern. He smiled, feeling his heat rise just from the touch of her hand,  “Sorry, yes i’m fine, I was just daydreaming, remembering our past, and how much better I feel when I’m around you.” He said, surprised at how easily and quickly those words just came tumbling out of his mouth, as if he had rehearsed them. She smiled, feeling that warm slow burn in the pit of her stomach, and that tingle that ran up her back. These were the feelings that only Can Divit could stir inside her

She composed herself, ” I asked if you had a chance to visit the agency today, you said you might.” She spoke, feeling the need to change the subject. ” Ahh, yes, I did, not much has changed. A couple of new employees, and I had lunch with Deren.” He replied. She smiled, ” I see, and CeyCey, how is he. I bet he was happy to see you.” He shook his head, ” Yes, he was, almost as much as I was to see him.” Sanem laughed, that was a sound that Can had missed more than anything, it filled his heart and made him want her even more. Sanem had missed her friend, CeyCey had always been a person she could count on. From the very beginning he was the one that protected her and kept her secrets, even when he was pressured. Maybe she would call him and they could get together for lunch, she hadn’t thought of going to the agency to visit, it brought back to many bad memories.

Can reached for her plate, ” Are you done, I’ll take it for you. Was the pasta good, I hope it was, I made it just the way you like it.” He inquired, as he moved over closer to her to retrieve her plate. Her breath caught as the closeness of him sent a wave of desire through her. She nodded, ” Yes, it was delicious, I always love your food.” She said as they made eye contact. He had that look that made her shiver, as she struggled to look away. He stood there for a second, not wanting to move away from her, as the smell of her perfume circled his head making him feel dizzy. She took a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She couldn’t understand why she was as so nervous, she felt like she was on a first date. When actually that couldn’t have been further from the truth. This was a man she knew inside and out, someone that she had been alone with many times. But this time seemed different, maybe they had changed, what if they both had different ideas of what they wanted from each other now. The thought of that alone terrified her, she needed him, but not in the same way she needed him before. She watched him through the window in the kitchen, he was just as handsome, just as charming, just as attentive to her as he had always been, so…maybe it was her.

She may have changed, there were a lot of physical changes that she had to cope with, but she didn’t think she felt any different about him than she did before. Her heart still fluttered when she saw him, her heart still raced when he spoke her name, her stomach still churned at the slightest touch from him…. Yes, she still loved him. 

Who was she kidding? This man was her soulmate, she thought as she watched him walk toward her, and there was nothing she could do about that….

He was the only person that she would ever love……she smiled shyly as she realized.

No, I haven’t changed, I just love him more…

Chapter 10

As he finished in the kitchen, she walked out into the yard staring up at the stars. The view from here always seemed to be the best, they looked so close, close enough to touch. She loved the way the stars twinkled and danced about in the darkness of the sky. Can walked up behind her, ” Hey, I made some tea, would you like some? It’s not as good as yours but maybe its drinkable.” He whispered, reaching around her with a cup. She turned, ” Oh thanks, I’m sure it’s just as delicious as the meal.” She replied, shocked at how close he was to her. He motioned to the lounge chairs, ” Let’s sit for a while, are you ok with that, I want you to be comfortable.” He started, wondering if she was having trouble with her leg. She agreed, and stretched out on the lounger, ” The night is beautiful.” She looked around at the perfectly manicured lawn. ” Are you going to continue to live here after Emre and Leyla return from their honeymoon?” She asked looking his way. 

He hadn’t taken his eyes off of her since they sat down, he couldn’t, they seemed to be fixed there drinking in all the beauty that she possessed. The question went unheard, as he marveled at the sight of her, ” Can, did you hear me.” She asked again. He blinked his eyes, ” Sorry, what did you say.” He smiled shyly, realizing he had been caught staring at her. ” Are you going to stay here after Emre and Leyla return home, do you want to do that.” She repeated. Can nodded, ” I’ll be staying here, in fact Emre and Leyla have found a new house just before they left and will be moving in as soon as they get back.” He announced, happy she was concerned about where he would be staying. Sanem hadn’t heard about their new home, ” Oh really, that’s great, I didn’t know. Is it close by?” She asked, obviously avoiding the topics they needed to talk about. Can smirked, ” Sanem, the location of Emre and Leylas house isn’t what I want to talk about tonight. We need to get ourselves use to each other again. I want to know about everything that happened to you while I was gone. Not just the accident but your life, what it was like. And I want to tell you everything that happened to me, don’t you want to know?” Can implored, wishing for that magic that they had before to reappear. 

Sanem shifted in her lounger, ” Of course I want to know, and I want to tell you about me, but I’m just really nervous tonight, maybe we should just stick to a generic discussion.” Her eyes filling with tears. He reached for her hand, wondering why she was nervous, ” Sanem it’s just me, I’m the same person that I was before. We could always talk to each other, maybe I wasn’t a listener and for that I’m sorry. But I have changed, not being able to talk to you or see for all that time made me realize how much I wanted to.” The touch of his hand on hers made her almost weak, she hadn’t had time to prepare herself for “them” again. She looked at him and then at his hand holding hers, ” I’m scared Can, I’m scared that the same thing will happen again. I won’t be able to bear it if you leave again. You told me that you would always be there, always listen to me, always be understanding… but you weren’t. You judged me, you broke me and then you walked away. What makes you think that you have changed that part of you, how do you know you won’t do the same thing again.” She gushed, pouring out everything that had been tightly closed up inside her. She looked away, as the tears ran down her face. 

He couldn’t stand to see her cry, it hurt worse than anything, he let his thumb gently wipe the tears as they came down, ” Sanem, that time alone, out the middle of nowhere, that was the hardest job I ever had to do. You were on my mind constantly, and everything I said to you that night at the cabin has haunted me since I said them. All I can say is I never want to go through that again, I never want to be apart from again. She heard the words he was saying, but her heart still felt that pain. ” Can, let’s take it one days at a time, let’s build our trust again. I did things wrong, things I knew you didn’t want me to do. But in my defense, it was something I had to do. You did things wrong too, so let’s start over and try to do everything right this time.” She pleaded, watching him as he tried to accept what she was saying.

After a minute he asked, ” Does Metin have anything to do with your decision. I know that Omer was someone special in your life, and I know he wanted to marry you, but is there anything between you and Metin.” His eyes looking straight into her heart. She moved away from him, puzzled, had she heard him correctly, did he ask if she was involved with Metin. Her first instinct was to be angry, thinking he was the same old Can, not trusting her. So she waited to answer, just for a minute, then she said, ” Can, Metin has been a great friend, he helped me when I needed it. Nothing more and nothing less, I don’t feel I need to explain myself or my feelings to you. But since you asked the question, I will give you an answer.. No, there is not.” Her eyes full of hurt. 

Can knew he had asked the right question to the wrong person. “Sanem, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, and I didn’t mean it in a demeaning way. Please forget I said anything.” He reached for her, pulling her close to him. She didn’t resist, his arms around her made her feel good. She prayed he was being truthful. The feel of her skin unnerved him, making him want more, but he knew it was too soon. Her smell surrounded him, how he wished the last 10 months had just been a bad dream, and they were just as they and been before. When he finally let his arms release her, he looked into her eyes, ” I’ll do whatever you want me to do, just don’t shut me out, don’t say you don’t trust me, don’t tell me you don’t want me. I love you more every minute and I truly cannot live without you. So, if one day at a time is what you want, then I’ll make sure we are together every single day.” He kissed her cheek, then rested his forehead against hers.

She felt her body go limp, all the right words were said, he had done all the right things. He had made her believe him… again. This man she loved so much was willing to do whatever she wanted. What more could she want, what more did she need than his love….

Her heart was jumping for joy….

She had made it through the toughest time in her life, just to come back to the man she loved…..

Chapter 11

She felt herself molding into his arms, feeling as she had so many months before. She needed him more right now than she ever had, her heart was open and it called to him. The look in her eyes made him hopeful, he has seen that look before, the night she came to him to tell him that she loved him. Was she ready to accept him again, ready to let him love her again, that was all he wanted. The sound their hearts beating was deafening, they both knew what was happening. They were being pulled into that vast whirlpool of emotions, each of them surrendering to the other. She smiled a slight smile, as she looked into his eyes, ” Can, I’m not sure if this is going slowly or not, maybe we should call it a night for now.” Her voice barely a whisper. It made him weak with just the sound of it, he answered, ” I don’t know if I can, I don’t think I can let you go. My heart is so full of love for you it can hardly beat.” The thought of it making his head swim. 

As if it was a perfectly choreography move, Sanem’s phone rang. She glanced at her phone, “Can, it’s Metin, he is facetiming me, I really need to take it.” Can nodded, releasing his hold on her as she reached for her phone. ” Hello Metin, is everything ok.” She asked as she tapped on face time..Metin smiled, ” Hi, hope I’m not intruding on you dinner, but I figured you would be through eating by now. I just needed to go over a file quickly with you.” He explained, holding up a thick manilla folder.  Sanem glanced at Can and mouthed sorry to him. He winked at her letting her know he was fine. Metin continued, ” There seems to be a document missing, it’s the one that we had Mr. Tekin sign the last time he was in the office. I will need it for tomorrow’s meeting.” Sanem sighed, ” Metin, it’s there, look in the back, it’s clipped together with his son’s Power of Attorney form.” She replied, a little agitated at the interruption. Metin laughed, ” Well of course, here it is. I knew you would know where it was.” He squinted his eyes, ” Where are you, are you outside?” He quizzed, tilting his head from side to side to see better.  Can quickly stepped up behind Sanem, putting his hands on her shoulders, ” Yes we are Metin, we were enjoying the stars.” He smiled, giving him a wave. Can felt like this was no accident that Metin called, he knew they were having dinner together. So what we he up to…

Metin laughed and returned the wave, ” Can, good to see you, so you are at Can’s house. Sorry to take you away from your evening. But this was business you know..Can, sorry brother, let’s get together soon.” Metin suggested, giving him a slight nod. Metin turned his conversation back to Sanem, ” If you don’t mind, could you come in a little early in the morning, I have that meeting first thing and I want to be sure there’s fresh coffee and maybe you could even stop for some Danish on your way. And I will need you to sit in on the meeting as well, you know how much I value you,” he announced. 

Sanem felt uncomfortable, Metin had never acted this way before, he had never called her at home asking her to come in early, but she agreed just to be able to end the call. She felt Can still standing there behind her, his body pressed against hers, ” So you need to go in early, that means an early ending to our dinner. Is that something that happens often” He asked, no wanting to seem jealous, but every inch of his body was erupting with it. The close proximity of him had here mind all jumbled, her heart was beating fast as she tried to answer. “Not usually, but… I guess this meeting is important.” She stammered, trying to get the words out. He leaned down kissing her on the neck, ” So, do you need to leave right away, or…. Sanem quickly turned facing Can, ” I think maybe we should call it a night, it is getting late, and…..Can places his finger on her lips, ” Please, you don’t have to explain, I know, you want to take it slow. But don’t act as if we are just a casual couple. And don’t use your job as an excuse to leave.” He whispered, his lips close enough she could feel the brush of his beard as he spoke.  She closed her eyes, trying to regain her thoughts, ” No Can, I don’t at all think we are a casual couple, I know we are working to get back to where we were, but let’s not do it all in one night.” Her eyes pleading with him.

He took a deep breath and moved back from her, ” Ok, but let’s make plans for lunch tomorrow, and maybe tomorrow evening I can pick you up and we can go to the cabin. No distractions this time, we can just relax under the stars.” He asked, running his hand along the bare skin of her arms. Sanem knew that going slow would be quite a challenge for both of them, but she was determined to make this work and to make it work they had to get past what had been their obstacles before, which was trust.  Sanem agreed to lunch and to the trip to the cabin for the next evening. ” Ok, lunch it is, but I will only have an hour so we will have to go somewhere close.” She explained, hoping that Metin wouldn’t have something else for her to do. Can smiled, knowing he would have to plan something special for tomorrow night, maybe a little music, some beautiful decorations, he might even drag out his telescope again and they could look at the stars, just like before. That time when they were their happiest, their love was strong and new. 

Sanem always loved the cabin, it was her favorite place in fact. All the best times were there, until Polen came and offered him that job. The night he found out that she had given her fragrance to Fabri, that was the last night she had been there at the cabin. And that was a time she didn’t want to remember. She was deep in thought as he drove her home, reliving that night and all the words he said to her. It made her heart ache just as much now as it did then, seeing Polen there, seeing that look of accomplishment beaming from her eyes, and that smirk of being superior to her. These were the things that she had to overcome before she was able to accept Can back into her heart and her life…

Can glanced her way, seeing her face drawn with tension, ” Sanem what’s wrong, you are thinking about something, what is it? He asked reaching for her hand.

She looked his way and he could see the tears that glazed her eyes. 

“I’m not sure if I can go to the cabin, the memories are still so vibrant in my mind of that last night I was there..All the things you said..”  She uttered, her throat so dry the words almost stuck there. “How will we get past them….how will I forget”….

Can pulled the car to a stop, “We just will, I’m sorry for everything I said. I wished everyday that I had never said them. My heart was hurt, and I let it take over, when I should have let our love take over. I promise you, that I will spend the rest of my life showing you that those words where just that….words, words without meaning. 

How she wanted to believe him…..her heart was begging for it.

Chapter 12

As they stopped in front of her door, Can reached for her, wanting to hold her and ward off all the fears she had. Sanem accepted him as he cradled her against him, but not for long, gestures like that were frowned upon in the neighborhood, and could quickly tarnish a girls reputation along with her families. Can knew this all to well, so the encounter was brief but meaningful. His voice was low as he told her again how much he loved and adored her, “Sanem, we can be as we were, lets not make the same mistake, let’s fix what went wrong and continue on with our love. My feelings for you have not changed, if anything they have grown stronger in our absent.” He slid his finger down her cheek, tracing that scar on her face. He felt her winch as he passed over it, and his first instinct was to pull away from it, but he didn’t, he let his finger linger there taking in all the pain that he had caused her. 

He gently kissed her cheek, ” If I could take it back I would, if I could wave a magic wand and let this all be a bad dream I would. I have done things I’m not proud of, that hurt me and you, but my love is forever.”  He whispered. Sanem laced her arms around his neck, not wanting to let him go, ” You are right, we can be as we were, we will be as we were. This is our love and we are the ones to decide how we live it.. She smiled at him, as that first glimmer of contentment presented itself to her heart. “So lunch tomorrow right, at 12:00 and don’t be late. The deli down the street is very good, we can so that if you like.” Can nodded his approval, ” Sounds great, but don’t tell Metin our plans, he may decide to have you work through your lunch break.” He replied, squinting up his eyes. She laughed, not sure if he really meant it or not, but hoping they would settle their differences. She gave him a quick peck on the lips and hopped out of the truck, leaving him stunned at the action.

Mevkibe had waited for her daughter to come home, all the while thinking how much she wanted the boy that had stolen her heart, that polite and thoughtful person, the one they had hoped to have as a son, to return. Not the person that had broken their daughters heart, had clouded her thoughts and caused her more pain then any one should go through. She wanted her Can back….But not at Sanems expense, not if he was only going to hurt her again. She had to keep Sanems feet on the ground, help her keep her heart and mind separate. She knew from a very personal and painful past that sometimes loving someone is not enough, if trust isn’t there, the strongest of love can may not survive. She heard the door and stood, waiting for Sanem at the top of the stairs. The beautiful smile the lit up her face told the story. She stopped, startled at first, then she giggled, ” Mom, you scared me, why are you still up. You weren’t waiting up for me were you.” She asked with a puzzled look on her face. 

Can stepped under the hot running water, he knew it should be a cold shower with the thoughts of Sanem and the closeness that they has found with each other just a short time before, but this hot steamy water seemed to be more appropriate. His head was filled with the thoughts of her, even her smell still lingered throughout the house. He knew in his soul that they would find that special place again. It had been special, their feelings for one another, like nothing he had ever known. He had gone all these years thinking what he was feeling for Polen was all there was. Just that occasional euphoria that would accompany the release of sexual tension. He wasn’t one to sleep around, so having Polen was the perfect solution. They met a few times a year, had a few days of that euphoria, and then he was on his way again. His work was always more important than sticking around to be with her.. He stepped out and toweled off, slipped on his sleep pants and a t-shirt. He made his way to the kitchen for a nightcap, not quite ready to call it a night. He stretched out on the lounger in the garden where they had been just a short time before. What would have happened if Metin hadn’t called, he wondered, would she have let things go back to the way they were, would she have opened up and let him in. But, …that call, no, that facetime from Metin had jinxed it all. And why, why had he called, it was obvious that it was a poor excuse for a call, but Sanem never doubted it. 

Yes, …a talk with Metin was definitely in the near future.

” Mom, please don’t worry, we are taking it slow. If you would just talk to him, he’s really changed. He has apologized numerous times, and begged my forgiveness. Mom, we still love each other.” Sanem announced, as if it was something that was to be accepted. Mevkibe shook her head, “Sanem, you can’t just run back into something that has left you scared and broken, and I’m not talking about the ones from the accident. I’m taking about the ones of the heart.” She spoke, forcing Sanem to look her in the eyes. Sanem saw a woman that meant more to her than anything, had always been there for her, someone that up until now had always known the best way for her to live her life. But this love she had for Can may be something that her mother just couldn’t understand. Sure she knew her parents loved each other, but did they love each other down to their core, was it so deep that the other one was attached to their soul like an appendage. Sanem was sure she knew what was best for herself this time, and she hoped that her parents would accept that. She was a grown woman, although she had never been treated as one, and she would follow her heart…

Sanem stood up a little taller and looked her mother straight in the eyes, ” Mom, I know you have my best interest at heart, but this time your judgement is clouded. I’m in love with Can, he is the only person I will ever be in love with. Please let me take care of myself and make my own decisions.” She recited, just like she had practiced so many times before. Mevkibe’s eyes softened and a tiny rim of tears formed, ” My daughter, if that is what you want then let it be so, but along with your decisions come the responsibility of accepting your failure. Just be ready for that as well. In this case your not the only one to make that decision, Can also must be ready for that responsibility. I pray you are right.” She kissed her daughter on the cheek, turned and walked down the hall.

The words played over in her head, making her uneasy. Her mother had a way of doing that, making you doubt when you thought everything was so clear. 

She slipped into bed, with the thoughts of Can and the feel of his body pressed so firmly against hers…..and almost as if he could hear her thoughts, he texted…

” I still feel your body next to mine, I’m weak with love for you……i’ll miss you until tomorrow “

She read the text, pressing the phone against her chest she closed her eyes…

” No, she wasn’t making a mistake…not this time.”

Chapter 13

The meeting that morning lasted a lot longer than expected. Metin had never invited her to set in on the meeting like that before so she was a bit nervous. She still had a pile of paperwork to do and Can would be there for their lunch date in less than an hour. She dug into the files, trying to make headway before Can got there. Metin tapped on her door, ” Hey you can up for air you know, those files will be there after lunch.” He smiled, as he helped himself to a chair. She sighed, ” I know but these files need to go to the courthouse by 2:00, and I’m not nearly through with them.” She replied, glancing at the clock. Metin had already figured out that Sanem and Can had made plans for lunch, that was the reason for the rush. In his mind, he knew things were moving fast for the couple, maybe too fast for his liking. He would need to slow things down a bit until he was able to make Sanem see that Can would never be the man for her. But maybe he would just straight to the source, he could just set down with Can and tell him how he felt. He smirked as he thought, ” That would never work with Can, he always thought he knew better, always thought his way was the best, and always expected so much from everyone.” He had loved him as a brother, had depended on him through most of his early life, but the day he turned on him for making the right decision, actually, it was the only choice he had as a lawyer, well it made him look at him in a whole different way.

Metin slapped his hand together, ” Here, I have a solution, I will help you. I’m going to order some lunch for us, and we can bust through these files in no time.”  Sanem looked at him quickly, he had never offered to help her before, why was he acting so strange and how would she be able to decline his offer. He was her boss after all, and this was her job, but she already had plans for lunch. Metin pulled his chair closer to the desk, but seeing she was hesitant he asked, ” What? I can help you, do you not want my help. You said yourself these files need to be at the courthouse by 2:00, so we can do it.”  He smiled, reaching for a file. ” Well, I did have plans for lunch, Can was picking me up and we were going to the Deli down the street.  Metin smiled, “Well you may have to reschedule, I mean your job is important, is it not.” He asked, with a challenging look. Sanem felt her heart drop, she had so been looking forward to spending her much time with Can, but she guessed that Metin was right.

Cans workout had been more intense this morning, he needed to work off a lot of anxiety. He went through all of his normal routines and then he hit the ring with his friend and trainer Umet. The boxing always seemed to distract him more than anything, it helped him clear his mind. They finished up just in time for him to shower and drive to Metins office to pick up Sanem. That was the only thing he had been thinking about all morning. He was only a few blocks away from the office when his phone rang, he saw it was Sanem and he immediately knew something was wrong. ” My love, I’m almost there, are you ready to go.” Can asked as he answered the phone. The hesitation from the other end of the phone confirmed his suspicion, ” Can, I’m sorry but things are backed up here and it looks like I’m going to work through my lunch break, I’m so sorry.” Her voice cracked with emotion. She hated to be the one to cancel, but her hands were tied, Metin was right, it was her job. Can pulled over the side of the road, ” What happened, is it an emergency, but you have to eat so let me pick something up and bring it to you. I can keep you company at least.” He suggested, ready to do whatever it took to spend time with her. Her reply came quickly, ” Oh, well Metin is helping me with the files, and he is ordering in our lunch, but you’re more than welcome to come and share our lunch, I’ll just be working through all these files.” She answered. 

Her words hit him like a freight train, so Metin was helping her. “Oh I see, is that normal, …for Metin to help you. I thought he had meetings today.” He replied, trying not to sound doubtful about it, but that’s exactly what he was. He could feel it in his gut, Metin had set it all up to happen that way. ” Thanks for the offer, but I did want to disturb you both or keep you from your work, so I will just pick you up at 5:00. Will that be ok?” He asked, trying to control the anger in his voice. Metin stared across the desk at Sanem as she talked to Can on the phone, his heart beating hard. Hoping that Can didn’t take her up on her offer of sharing their lunch. He really didn’t like himself right now, this wasn’t at all like him to lie and deceive, especially to a friend like Sanem. But he had already watched her regain her life after the accident, but then there was Omer. He had watched that relationship and prayed that she would see that he wasn’t for her. But when that happened it was only because Can had reappeared. Metin knew Can, and all too well. He knew it was just a matter of time before he would get that urge to wander, and that would leave Sanem hurt and broken again…..that was something he didn’t want to see again.

Sanem was disappointed but knew it was for the best, ” Ok, you’re probably right, but yes you can pick me up at 5:00. I’m sure I’ll  be through and ready to go by then.” She spoke sounding happy about the arrangement. She had so been looking forward to seeing Can for lunch, but Metin was right her job was important. She said her goodbyes to Can and hung up, ” Ok Metin let’s get busy, we need to get this all done quickly.” She replied. Metin shook his head but smiled secretly inside. Just a little at a time, drive that wedge between them, it wouldn’t take long before Can will get tired and go back to his old ways, and he would be there to pick up the pieces of her broken heart.

Can sat there for a minute processing the phone call. So Metin was there helping her, that didn’t sound like something a high-powered lawyer would do. What about all those meetings that he had Sanem set up for him yesterday, and the reason he had interrupted their time together last night. He knew this was all a plan to keep him and Sanem apart, but he wasn’t about to let that happen. Lifelong friend or not, Metin was not going to come between them. He reached for his phone, thinking about how special he wanted that night to be, he called a person that he knew could make it just that. An old dear friend that had a lot more experience in how to turn a place into a magical and romantic oasis. 

Can wanted nothing more than to sweep Sanem off her feet…

He wasn’t about to let Metin spoil the love they had….

Chapter 14

They had made short work of the files, with them both to get her it hadn’t taken more than an hour. Sanem called the courier and sent the needed files on their way to the courthouse. She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, she could feel the body start to relax, but Metin starlted her as he walked in her office, ” See we make a great team, we got through those files in no time.” She sat up quickly, giving him a quick smile. ” Yes we do, but I could have done it myself and you wouldn’t have had to reschedule your meeting. But I do appreciate your help.” Metin bowed, as of she were royalty, ” Of course my lady.” He replied, making light of her comment. ” You do a lot to help me, so I’m just returning the favor. Here have another piece of pizza.” He offered, shoving the pizza box across her desk to her. She held up her hand, ” Oh no thanks, I have had plenty, besides Can is planning a surprise for me for this evening and I know it will involve food, so I should leave room for that, I know it’s going to be great.” She announced, her face illuminated so brightly it took his breath away. Metin smiled, but that sinking feeling moved over him. 

Can had instructed his friend to pull out all the stops, this night needed to be special. It wasn’t  so much about the food, but he did have a delicious dish prepared for them, but it was more about the ambiance. He wanted the hut to be transformed into the place that held her dreams, a place she had always wanted to go but was only accessible in her thoughts. This was their place, their first realm of togetherness had taken place there. Everything that meant anything to him had started in that hut, so it was only fitting that he bring her here to make her feel it all over again. The lights, the flowers, the wind chimes, it was all for them. And with the soft music playing the background, the music that had dances to before, it was perfection. Now just to make sure Metin doesn’t have some other excuse to spoil this evening.

Metin was staring out his window, he had a perfect view of the coast from his office. He always did his best thinking there. So he knew he couldn’t come up with a work excuse for this evening, not this time, Can would know what he was doing. He would just have to let this happen, and pray that Sanem would not be blinded by Cans charm. She had told him they were taking it slow, so he would trust that. The knock on his door brought him out of his thoughts, ” Come, the doors open.” He called out as Sanem slowly opened the door. “Metin, it almost 5:00, if you don’t mind I am going to the lobby to meet Can.” She spoke as she placed a file on his desk. ” This the file for your first meeting tomorrow, and this one is for your court date in the afternoon. The day is kind of light, so maybe you can get caught up.” She announced, wishing he could take some time for himself. She never heard him mention a woman, or anyone he might be interested in. Metin was a very handsome man and she wondered why there were not a hundred women lines up trying to get his attention. She smiled, ” Or better still why don’t you take the rest of the day off after court and go have some fun. Call a friend and go out, go to the beach or to dinner.” She pleaded. He nodded, ” That would be nice, but it’s hard to find someone you want to spend time with.” 

Metin was still on her mind as she waited for Can at the door. Her phone pinged with the alert of a text from Can, ” I’m 5 minutes away, are you ready.” it read. She smiled and returned the text, ” I’m ready and waiting at the door”….. Her heart skipped a beat just thinking about him, she wished that Metin could find someone that would make his heart skip a beat. But she wouldn’t let herself get involved with that, he was a friend but more than that he was her boss, better to just let him figure it out on his own. Within minutes Can’s truck whipped up in front of the building, Can jumped out and hurried around to open her door for her. The gesture surprised her, that wasn’t his usual style but she liked it…

Can helped her into the truck, he smiled leaning in to help with her seatbelt, ” I missed you today, I hope you and Metin got everything taken care of.” His asked, his face brushing past hers, so close it gave her a chill. He hesitated briefly, letting that smell that was so distinctively hers engulf him, then gently kissed her cheek, so close to her lips it made her gasp. His eyes locked with hers for a second then turned away. Her head was swimming, the only thing she could think of was the day at the printing shop when he helped her with her seat belt then, and he produced the same insane fever inside her now as he did then..This wasn’t going to be an uneventful night, she could tell, he had already set the pace for what was to come. If she knew Can Divit, he had already thought of everything..he was definitely full of charm and willing to spare no expense to show Samem how much he still loved her. 

Sanem had no idea what he had planned, so she was ready for anything. The drive to the hut from the inner city was at least 30 minutes, so she had plenty of time to visualize this surprise he was telling her about. The glimmer in his eyes told her that he was very proud of what he had done, so she was sure it would be fantastic. As they drove up the long driveway to the cabin, his excitement grew, ” Babe, close your eyes, I want it all to be a surprise.” She closed them, smiling at his enthusiasm, ” But I won’t be able to walk to the cabin.” She protested, but willing to play along with his game. He came around to help her for the truck, ” Here I’ll lead you there, and don’t worry I won’t let you fall.” His words sounding so safe and sincere. The sense of smell was the first thing she realized, the food smelled fabulous and she wondered if he cooked it himself. Then she heard the soft tinkling sound of the wind chimes, that relaxing harmonic sound that made her smile. He stopped her, leaned in and kissed her cheek “Stay here, and don’t open your eyes, I mean it, no peeking.” He ordered, slidding his hands slowly and intently down her bare arms. ” Ok, I promise.” She waited, her excitement bubbling over. Then she heard the soft music from his record player, the same song they had danced to before, her stomach fluttered. How could this man make her feel this way with nothing more than sounds?..

“Ok, you can open”….He announced, his voice low but full of passion.

She opened her eyes, but she wasn’t able to take everything in at once, looking around, blinking her eyes she could see the vast array of flowers sitting, hanging, and draped everywhere. The lights, there seemed to be a thousand at least wound through the entire garden. A table covered in the most beautiful lace she had ever seen and candles lining the walkway. 

” Can, what have you done”……..She asked, as the tears lined her eyes..

Chapter 15

These images were straight from a fairy tale book, from the magical recounts that she used to read about when she was younger. She smiled, twirling around with her arms spread out wide, “Can this is perfect, how did you do all of this.” She asked. He moved closer to her, and scooped her up in his arms as she twirled around, almost falling. She threw her head back and laughed that laugh that was so uniquely hers, then she fell so perfectly into his arms, melting like hot butter against his chest. She was slightly dizzy so she laid her head on his shoulder, “I remember this Can, do you. Only I was dizzy from wine and the excitement of being alone with you for the first time.” She revealed, snuggling in close to his body. Yes, he remembered, he would never forget that night. 

He steadied her, ” Sanem are you ok.” He asked, stroking her hair with his hand. She look up at him, ” I couldn’t be better, everything is just beautiful.”  He smiled at her, ” Come on let’s sit, I have some delicious food for us. My friend brought it, I hope you like it.” She took a long breath, drawing in the aroma, ” It smells heavenly, and I’m starving. Metin ordered us pizza for lunch, but I was so busy I didn’t really eat much.” She explained, as he dished up the food. He watched her as they ate, listening as she explained the day, ” You know Metin had never offered to help me before, I was quite shocked when he did. But at least we got it done. I’m sorry I had to cancel our lunch date.” Her eyes soft and welcoming as she looked across the small table at him. Can knew that Metin had other motives for his actions, and he also knew that Sanem was completely blind to the fact. Their connection was undeniable, it was a look of coming home. He felt like he was right were he was suppose to be, his life was full, as full as his heart with love. His gaze made her tingle, as she felt the goosebumps rise to the top. All of a sudden this felt right, just like it should be. 

He reached across the table for her hand, ” Come on let’s dance, let’s not waste this music.” He spoke. She smiled, Can Divit wanted to dance, that was quite out of the ordinary she thought, but yet again this man always seemed to amaze her. She stood, making sure her feet were under her before she stepped toward him. Sometimes her leg just didn’t move like it should, so she was always careful. The slow movement of his body, and the warmth that penetrated from it,  had made her feel as if she was drunk or impaired in some way. But she wasn’t about to let go, her heart had taken up residency in this place. She felt his hands slid down her back and caress her body, he lowered his face to the little spot on her neck that he had always loved, the spot that reaked of her scent. His beard grazed across the outline of her breasts, all the way across to the other side, making her body shiver. Then he leaned in close to her ear, ” Sanem, I love you more than ever, lets not deny our feelings.” He whispered ever so slightly in her ear. 

Sanem heard her inner voice, ” Ok girl, now what are you going to do, this is not what you call going slowly.” She jerked around, looking for the person that had spoke. Can stopped, ” What, are you ok, what’s wrong.” He asked, holding on to her as she tried to move away. She swallowed hard, ” Did you hear something I heard a voice.” She replied. She hadn’t heard from her inner voice in months, why was it showing up now she wondered. She looked around, still feeling like she was being watched, when she heard it again, ” Don’t string him along, make a decision and go for it.” The voice said. She laughed slightly, realizing  the voice must have returned when Can came back. If she recalled, her inner voice had always given her advice when it came to Can, most of the time she listened, but this time she was more confused than ever. 

She relaxed, but was a little more aware of what she was doing, as he wasn’t ready to relinquish his hold on her just yet, they continued on. Can was waiting for a reply from his confession, “Sanem, don’t you have anything to say, you know I love you. I want you to tell me how you feel.” He pleaded. She recalled what her inner voice had said, make a decision and go for it, so that’s just what she was going to do. If she said the words that were in her heart out loud then there was no turning back, no way out, just this feeling of overwhelming happiness that was coursing through her body right now. If this wasn’t love for this man then she didn’t know what was. She had always done things on a whim, thrown caution to the wind, been spontaneous, but with Can she had put up a guard. So maybe it was time to stop and just love him. Life is short, she discovered that when she had her accident, how things can be over in an instant, and you have nothing to say about it. A calmness swept done through her body, this was were she was suppose to be, in the arms of this man. This was truly the only place she had ever been happy or content.

She spoke quietly, as she looked into his eyes. ” My feelings, you want to know my feelings. What I feel you has never changed, never wavered, has always been maintained within my heart. Even when you pushed me away, I remained, my soul refused to leave even when my heart was bruised. I don’t love lightly, but love completely, so if you are asking if my feelings for you have changed or weakened, my answer is “no.”  All that kept me going for those months of pain and rebuilding was that I knew one day you would be back, in my heart I knew. I have no other choice in my life than to love you, that is simply the way it is…..and at this moment I have surrendered to it….

He had never been a man to show his emotion, but he felt the tears burning hot in his eyes as she spoke. She had captured his soul, the were not many things in his life that he was sure of, but his love for her was one of them. Since the first day he saw her, the first time he touched her, this life was changed. He was truly a better man because of her, but mostly for what she had taught him, …..that he was worthy.

He smiled at her, ” So we are back, is that what your saying. We can tell everyone how we feel.”

Sanem hung her head shyly, ” Well I don’t think we need to make a international announcement, but letting everyone know we are back together wouldn’t hurt.”  She draped her arms around his neck, ” Can, understanding  and listening have to be our priority, do you agree.” She asked. 

” Yes, I understand and I’m listening, and I heard you say ” I love you” loud and clear…….

Chapter 16

The evening was winding down, but the excitement of their new found commitments had both of them still glowing. They had snuggled up in the pile of pillows that Can had  thrown on the ground, enjoying the music as it played. Can was still a bit shocked that Sanem had confessed her true feelings for him so soon. He was ready and armed with more than just this one night to make her his again. Sanem was usually stubborn about these things, if she was convinced to take it slow than that’s what she was going to do. She turned to look at him, “So what do you do now, how do we let everyone know we are together again.” She asked, running her fingers through his beard. That was a gesture that he had missed, more than he even realized, but he welcomed it with an open heart. ” Well, I think maybe we should take to your parents first. I know they are probably pretty upset with me, so I need to go to them soon and have a talk.” He told her. She smiled, ” Ok, then what, I guess we will wait until Leyla and Emre are back from their honeymoon to tell them. But what about the agency, CeyCey, Deren, I think we should go for a visit.” She expressed, here eyes dancing. 

Can nodded, ” Yes I agree, maybe tomorrow, I’ll pick you up for lunch and we will pay them a visit.” She leaned over, kissing him on the cheek, ” Oh, CeyCey’s going to be so excited.”  The thought of it making her giggle. She hadn’t seen as much of her friend lately as she would have liked. They had met a few times outside of the agency for dinner, but it always ended with CeyCey begging her to return to the agency to work. She had only gone to the agency once in all these months, and that had been a near travesty, she wasn’t able to run away fast enough before the devastation of her broken heart came boiling out. But now they would return together, a couple that had found each other again. She loved the way that sounded, a couple, she hoped that her parents would be a open to the thought of it as she was. After all it was her life, and she had suffered tremendously through the last year of it and he is what made her happy.

The drive home was sweeter than before, maybe just because she had finally taken a stand, she had finally listened to her heart, let it guide her to the place she had dreamed about the past year. He looked her way and smiled, ” I hope I don’t have to do this very much longer, I’m ready to set off on our journey of life together.”  Sanem wanted that too, but there was the task of convincing her parents that Can was still that same good-hearted, well-mannered guy that they had both fell in love with before. They stopped in front of her door, the feeling of leaving each other if only for a night, was almost more than they could bear. He held onto her hand as if his heart would stop beating if he let it go, ” Sanem, I will call your mother tomorrow and ask to speak with them, I know it won’t be easy but I will convince them how much I love you. I know I made mistakes, but I have learned from them. All I need and want is you.” He raised her hand to his lips, kissing it gently. She agreed, knowing it would be better for those words to come from Can then from her. 

This all seemed like a fairytale dream come true, her prince had returned and swept her off her feet….again. This time things would be different, she would never hide anything from him again, she had already promised herself that, and this time she would stand strong beside him and not allow the advances from all those other women drive a wedge between them. He was hers, and no one could take him away, of that she was sure. They made plans for the next day, a lunch date and a trip to the agency, ” Sanem, don’t tell Metin we have reconciled, I plan on talking to him myself. There are some other things we need to discuss as well.” He started, getting a serious look in his eyes.  Sanem nodded, agreeing to let Can be the one to tell Metin, but happy that Can was willing to put the past behind them and rebuild their friendship. She knew had hard it had been on Can since his split with Metin. Metins betrayal had been something that Can never thought would happen, even with Cans rigid way of thinking, he thought Metin would always honored his wishes.

The final hug and then she was out the door. He watched her as she unlocked the door, she turned and gave him a wave. He smiled, waving back and then he slowly pulled away, feeling that longing for her take root deep inside him. He knew what he had to do, but doing it was not going to be easy. Mevkibe had always thought so highly of him, had always considered him as a perfect gentlemen, and without even knowing it, she shaped Can and Sanem into a couple before it even happened. She had these ideas from the first day she met him, and asked Sanem about it. Sanems answer and denial did nothing more than make Mevkibe believe she was right. Can knew he had to face them, and the sooner the better. He would call the next morning, he didn’t want to wait a another minute. But as far as Metin was concerned, he  would be the toughest one to talk to. If his thoughts were correct, this talk will seal their relationship forever. 

Sanem had expected her mother to be waiting for her, even though it was quite late. But the house was dark and quiet. She shut the door to her room, feeling the warmth spread through her from his arms that had surrounded her earlier. She slipped out of her dress and into her pajamas still in a daze, reliving each moment of their special evening. She did it, she made her decision with her heart, a heart that was full of love for Can Divit. She wouldn’t deny it anymore, that’s was no use to even try. She closed her eyes, knowing she probably wouldn’t sleep tonight,  and praying that her Mom and Dad would see how happy they were. “They have to know that he’s the only one for me, she thought, they have to see how he feels about me.” A little twinge of fear stirred deep down inside her stomach as she thought about it and how he would tell them. 

” Ok my dear, what is your plan if Mom and Dad don’t accept him, what are you willing to do.” Her inner voice blared inside her head. She sat up quickly, listening intently, ” Have you thought about that? What are you willing to do?” She cringed at the thought, ” That won’t happen, will it, no they wouldn’t do that to me.” Her mind going in circles as the worse thought she could possibly think entered her mind…..

Would she be forced to chose between her family and Can…..

There’s no way……its not possible

She wiped away the tears that had suddenly rolled down her face..

Her heart had already made that decision, ……and it had scared her, but she knew what she would do…..

Chapter 17

Can perched himself on the wall that surrounded the pool, sipping his nightly drink of whiskey.  So many thoughts were traveling through his head that it was hard to concentrate on just one. A smile crept across his face, so naturally that he hadn’t  realize it happened, as he remembered how happy Sanem was when she saw the cabin tonight. She always saw things so much more exaggerated than anyone else, simple things delighted her more than anything. It made him happy to see things through her eyes, things that he would have otherwise missed. She had opened his heart to a whole new world of experiences, and the realization that he would be able to share the rest of his life with her excited him more than ever. 

As soon as Sanem was out of the house for work, Can would place that ever so important phone call to Mrs. Mevkibe. He was relying on her old feelings for him to give him that edge he would need in trying to convince her and Mr. Nihat that he had made the mistake of a lifetime by walking away from Sanem. They had to see what Sanem meant to him, that he couldn’t live without her, they just had to…it was still a few days before Emre and Leyla were to return from their honeymoon, he hoped by then he would have everything planned. Getting married was the only thing on his agenda, and the sooner the better.  After her parents, then he would make that call to Metin, a call he was dreading, but for him it was the most important call of all.. As he thought back on that day he left for the Balkans, he wondered how he had done it, how he had managed to walk away. But then he remembered how empty he felt inside, how hurt he was. 

No more running, …no more expecting people to be more than human, no more closing myself off, he said to himself……

I made a promise, and I will hold on to that promise…..till the end of time.

Sanem wondered when Can would call her mother, but she had promised Can she wouldn’t let her know what he was going to do. Mevkibe was quite at the breakfast table, stealing a glance or two at Sanem. Then she asked, ” Well Sanem, how is Can. Will he return to the agency to work or does he have other plans.” Her question was heavy with sarcasm. Nihat turned to Sanem, ” Have you seen Can. Is that wise, I hope that you will keep your head about you.” He spoke, as they waited for an answer. Sanem look at them both, ” Can is fine Mom, and he hadn’t talk about returning to the agency just yet, but I’m sure that whatever decision he makes he will take everything into consideration.” She smiled at her mother,  hoping the answer would make her happy. ” And Dad, I’m totally aware if what I’m doing, and I have complete faith in myself, so please don’t worry about me.” She nodded and stood to leave, ” Things are not always as they seem when your heart has been hurt, but to turn your back on what you know to be true….well that is the biggest mistake of all”….The words she said had never sounded so true until she said them out loud. Her life without Can would be the biggest mistake she could make.

Can paced back and forth, waiting for the moment to place that call. Sanem had texted him when she left her house going to the bus stop, telling him she was on her way to work, and confirming their lunch date. Can had returned the text telling her he would pick her up at 12:00. If things went well with her parents this morning, then the lunch date would have a whole different meaning, but if Ms. Mevkibe and Mr. Nihat had objections about him, then it could possibly be the worst lunch date he could think of. He looked at his phone, his heart was pounding in his chest, as he called her number. She answered on the second ring, “Hello Can, I’ve been expecting your call. What can I do for you?” She asked, her voice sounding dry and matter of fact. He swallowed hard, trying to speak the words that he had visualized in his mind.   ” Ms. Mevkibe, I hope you are fine and Mr. Nihat too.” He stated, deciding not to go into a lot of small talk. ” If you both are available this morning, I would like to visit with you. There is something that I would like to discuss with you both.” He breathed deeply, relieved that all the words had came out right. 

Mevkibe closed her eyes, just the sound of his voice brought back all those fond memories of him. This young man had touched her heart when he first entered their life. She was just as infatuated with him as Sanem, but with his politeness and genuine kindness. She wasn’t usually wrong about people, she had her impression from the very start and most of the time she was right. Can still held a special place inside her and there wasn’t anything she could do about that. ” You would like to come this morning, and what is it you need to speak to us about.” She asked him, knowing full well what the topic would be. Can rolled his eyes, his stress level rising, ” Ms. Mevkibe, I would prefer to have this talk face to face if you  will allow me. I can be there in 30 minutes if that is accommodating for you.” She smiled slightly, hearing the urgency in his voice,   ” Ok, we will be waiting for you, and I will brew us some fresh tea.” She replied. 

He leaned against the table to brace himself. He took a couple of deep breaths, relieved that it was over. ” Ok, 30 minutes, you have to pull yourself together, you can’t blow this.” He lectured himself.  Then a smile came over his face, one step closer, I’ll make them understand how much I love her, I have to. He grabbed his keys and his phone and was out the door, on instinct he touch his front left pocket to feel her scarf, yes it was there. He never went anywhere without it, he carried it with him at all times. And this time may be the most important in his life. 

He arrived right on time, staring at the door he felt like this could be the moment that would make the rest of his life. He rang the bell, and the door opened. Mevkibe had not expected to feel that feeling of warmth and connection at first sight of him, but there it was. She couldn’t help but smile, and it was a warm and inviting smile. He returned it with respect, taking her hand and giving it a gentle kiss. Then she did something that totally surprised him, she reached for him giving him a hug. Not just any hug, but a Mevkibe hug, one that was different from anyone else. 

” Come in Can, I’m glad to see you.” She motioned for him to enter.

He smiled and entered. He had traveled to many places, lived in many different homes, but this was a place that felt most like him. He felt for the first time in all long time, he was home….

Chapter 18

This meeting face to face with Sanems parents was a must if they were to move forward with their life together. Mevkibe had greeted him with warmth and affection, but the that was not the case with Mr. Nihat. Mevkibe led him to the garden where she had some fresh brewed tea and some biscuits. Always the hostess, never letting anyone think they were not welcome in her home. She motioned for Can to sit, ” Please Can, make yourself at home. Nihat will be here shortly. Tea?” She asked, reaching for his cup. He nodded, ” Of course.”  Making eye contact with her, he smiled. This woman had always made him feel at home, had always made him feel like she really cared about him. His feelings for her were mutual, he would say that although he couldn’t remember the loving feelings that he had for his mother, the feelings for Mevkibe must be the ones that anyone would have for their mother. 

As Nihat walked into the garden Can stood and extended his hand, making sure to look directly into his face. But that look of welcome was not as visible in his face as it had been on Mevkibes, but Can did not look away. He gave him the traditional kiss of the hand to show his respect, and a slight bow. The whole atmosphere of the garden changed as Nihat took his place at the table. Mevkibe carried on as usual, ” Nihat would you like tea?” She asked, patting him on the hand. He hadn’t relinquished that unnerving stare at Can, so he only nodded his answer. Can cleared his throat, knowing he must be the one to start the conversation, ” I won’t insult you both by making excuses for my behavior of the past year. But I would like to explain myself and my feelings. What ever you feel for me right now I know must be justified, but please give me a chance to change that.” He pleaded, his voice low but strong. He looked first to Mr. Nihat, waiting for his reply. It took minutes before Nihat said his first words, with the silence making Can’s  heart beat out of his chest. Can had never known Nihat Aydin to be hurtful or vindictive person, but he would certainly defend what was close to his heart, and that being his daughters.

“Mr. Can, I not sure if you know the amount of pain and sorrow that you inflicted on our daughter, but since I know there is always two sides to every story, I will give you a chance to explain.” He replied, looking at him with doubt. Can felt the heat of embarrassment and fear rise up and through his body, this man wasn’t about to go easy on him. Can swallowed hard trying to ease his dry throat, ” I thank you Mr. Nihat, and that’s all I ask, for you to listen and try and understand.” He glanced at Mevkibe, hoping to see a bit of consolation in her eyes, or at best, some encouragement, but she to was staring, waiting for what he had to say. The words came from his mouth, but he wasn’t sure what he was saying. ” I know I hurt Sanem, and their is no forgiveness for that, but I also hurt myself by being selfish and unrealistic in the behavior of others. It has taken me many months of torment and heartache to see that. If I had known what Sanem was going through here, nothing would have kept me from returning home for her, but sInce I was in unaware, I had to live through my own pain to see what a mistake I had made.” He spoke as the tears welled up inside his eyes, as hard as he fought against them they escaped and rolled noticeably down his cheek. 

As he relived what had happened that day at the cabin, the hurtful words that he had unleashed on Sanem and the extreme pain he felt in his soul for what she had done, he could see Mr. Nihat stiffen as he listened. But he left out nothing, he told every despicable account of what happened. Mevkibe had closed her eyes as the tears ran down her face as well, feeling the pain of both Sanem and Can as well. Can continued, ” My heart was shattered, broken into a million pieces. Sanem was the one person that I trusted, I believed in her beyond anything…..and she had lied to me. So I ran, I wanted to be as far away from her as possible.” He stood and walked to the end of the garden, trying to regain control of his heart. The recount of those days had ripped that wound open again, bringing back those feelings of betrayal and such a deep pain that it scared him. After a minute he returned to the table, ready to continue with his explanation. As he looked at Mr. Nihat he could see his face had softened, the reddness from his anger had gone away, and he was looking thoughtfully at Mevkibe. Can started once again, ” There was never a day, an hour, a minute that I wasn’t thinking about Sanem when I was gone. I will say that it didn’t take me long to realize that forgiveness is one of my downfalls. But I begin to see that what Sanem had done was out of love for me, not to hurt me. And I put myself in her position, what would I have done, that’s when I allowed myself to forgive…I came to the conclusion that I would have done that, and much more, if I thought for one second that someone was going to hurt her. 

Can sighed, ” So in the past year, I have had many revelations. But the most profound was the fact that I can’t live my life without Sanem, the last months have been more of a torture than the day I boarded that plane to escape my heartache. I’m in love with your daughter, and whether you accept it or not, that will never change the way I feel. She is the only person that I have loved and the only person I will love.” He wiped the tears from his eyes, feeling as if he had just lived the worst part of his life again, but relieved that he was finally able to explain himself. Mr. Nihat bowed his head, as he felt the emotion of Cans confessions tighten his throat. Definitely Mr. Can was a different type of person than himself, but some feelings of the heart were not. There had been times in his own marriage that not understanding and listening to Mevkibe had brought on problems. But this was his daughter they were talking about, so things were felt differently. Nihat looked at Can, ” Sanem is precious to me, and you caused and inflicted pain on her. Even if you didn’t know about it, we did. But the fact that you recognize your shortcomings and have asked Sanem for forgiveness, it will totally be up to her to forgive you. And if she does, we will be more than happy to welcome you back into our family.” His words couldn’t  have sounded more beautiful to Can. 

His heart was lighter as he shook their hand, thanking them for the time to listen to him. 

Mevkibe hugged him at the door, giving him that feeling of acceptance again….

This was his home, and these people were his family….

And Sanem would be the love that would make him whole…..

Chapter 19

Sanem had been busy all morning with the file for Metin to take to court that afternoon. But the thoughts of Can and their decision to be open about the relationship had her a little preoccupied. She wondered if he had called her Mom yet and set a time to talk to them. That feeling of dread washed over her as she prayed they would understand the love they had for each other. The ringing of her phone brought her out of her daydream. ” Hello Metin, how was that meeting this morning. Did you get it settled,” She asked. Metin gave her all the details, and telling her he was on his way to the office.  As she noticed the time, her excitement grew. It was almost lunch time and Can would pick her up to go to the agency. 

Sanem was busy in Metins office arranging the files on his desk when she heard the door open. She assumed it was Metin and called out to him, telling him she was in his office. ” Hello Metin, I’m in here.” She spoke, as she focused on her job. She didn’t look up to see who had walked in, but the feel of someone’s arms  around her made her jump. She squealed, as Can wrapped her up tightly with his arms and buried his face in her neck, giving her a thousand kisses. ” Can, you scared me, I thought you were Metin.” She wiggled around to face him and draped her arms  around his neck, ” You seem to be in a good mood, and you’re early.” She teased, returning those  thousand kisses on his cheek. He laughed, ” Metin better not be doing this to you.” He replied, covering her welcoming lips with his. The kiss started slow, and gentle, but quickly turned into a more demanding and ravishing kiss, making her feel weak. When they finally parted, he rested his forehead on hers, trying to catch his breath. ” No Metin never does anything like that my love.” Sanem whispered as she fought to regain control. He smiled, holding her tightly against his body, drawing in the intoxicating smell of hers. ” I hope not, or I might just have to do something about that.” He whispered, his lips brushing against hers.

” Do something about what, Can.” Metin voiced. Both Sanem and Can jumped looking around to see Metin standing there. Sanem pushed away from Can, ” Oh Metin I’m sorry, we didn’t hear you come in.” She spoke her face turning every shade of red possible. Metins eyes caught Can’s, ” How are you Can, I wasn’t aware that you would be here today or I would have made sure to be here to welcome you.” He spoke, his words digging at Can. Sanem quickly interrupted, ” I’m sorry Metin, but Can and I have a lunch date and he was a bit early. But everything is here for your court date this afternoon, so if you  don’t need anything else I’m going to take my lunch now.” She replied nervously. She noticed that Metin hadn’t taken his eyes off of Can since he walked in and she wondered why he had that look of dislike on his face. Had she missed something, had the two of them had words again, she hoped not. She had been so hopeful that they would be able to put that time behind them and mend their relationship.

Metin smiled at Sanem, ” Of course, take as long as you like, do you have special plans.” He asked,  directing his question to Can. Can nodded, ” No, just a lunch, maybe a visit to the agency, that’s all.” Sanem looked at him and could how uneasy the two were. She took Cans hand, “Let’s go, I’m starving, Metin thank you, I’ll be back soon.” She smiled at him trying to calm  the waters, but she didn’t think he even saw her. Can finally turned to look at her, ” Yes, ok let’s get some lunch.” Glancing back  at Metin as they walked out if his office. Metin let out a heavy breath, rubbing his face with his hands. He heard the office door shut as they left, his heart pounding hard. Things seemed to be going pretty fast with them, he thought as he stared out the window to the street below. He watched as they walked down the street to Cans truck, and could see how Can held on to Sanem, how he kept her close to him, and the way that  Sanem looked at him. It was clear that this relationship had taken a turn. Sanem had told him that she wanted to take things slowly, but at what he had just seen, he knew that Can must have changed her mind. This was typical Can Divit behavior, he always had to be the winner, he always had to get the prize, know matter the consequences..

Sanem insisted on the deli down the street, ” They have a delicious pizza, homemade right in front of you.” She explained, her eyes big and excited. He smiled, ” Ok, sounds great. Let’s eat at the park, then we can go to the agency, is that Ok?” Can asked, as he helped her out of the truck. ” Yes, that would been great, did you tell anyone we were coming.” She asked. Can shook his head, ” No, it will be a total surprise.” He replied, smiling that smile of confidence. She giggled, “Yes about like the surprise we got a few minutes ago when Metin walked in on us. That was embarrassing.” She laughed, hiding her face in her hands. Can took her hand as they walked, “Why was it embarrassing, we weren’t doing anything wrong. You care to much about what Metin thinks.” He barked, his words sharp and short. Sanem stopped, ” Can, what is wrong between you and Metin, I thought you were going to mend this relationship, but it seems it had gotten worse. He is my boss, and I do need to keep a good open relationship with him.” Can took a deep breath, ” You are right, I’m sorry. I guess the past may be a bit to hard to forget, but I will work it out with him, I promise.” He said, taking his finger and moving a small piece of hair that had fallen down across her face. He looked into her eyes as he did so, that feeling of touching her had always filled him with desire. She felt it too, as she soaked in that intense look from those eyes at could see straight into her heart. All of a sudden lunch just doesn’t seem important, all she wanted was for him to touch her, hold her, make her feel like she was the only woman in earth. He was the only man that could make her fell that way….

” Sanem.” Can whispered, ” I would do anything for you, so if making peace with Metin is what you want, then that’s what will happen.”  His eyes relaying all his feelings. She smiled, ” I do, I want  you both to make peace.” She spoke. ” But first I would love it if you made peace with my parents.” Can stepped back, ” Oh? Well I was leaving that as a surprise for tonight, but I guess I have to tell you now. I have just came from your house. Your parents and I had a very long and informative talk. And it seems that if you have accepted my apology and have forgiven me, then so would they…..

The tears came immediately, filling her eyes, ” You did, you have already talked with them, and they are ok with us. Oh Can I am so happy.” She shouted, throwing her arms around his neck..

This had to be the best feeling ever…..she thought

Well maybe there could one more feeling that would be better…and she hoped that it would come soon….

Chapter 20

Sanem couldn’t believe her ears as Can told her about the conversation he had with her parents.  They had placed a blanket on the ground and stretched out to enjoy their pizza. Can told her every detail about the meeting with Mevkibe and Nihat, even telling her how scared he was to even start the conversation, ” I told them everything Sanem, all my feelings and all my shortcomings, how I had refused to listen to you, and most of all had how I felt the past year knowing I had made the biggest mistake of my life.” Sanem ran her fingers through his beard, as she spoke, seeing the tears coat his eyes, ” Can we both made mistakes, it wasn’t just you. I know my fault in all of this as well, lets learn from all of this and promise not to allow it to happen again.” Can smiled, ” I agree, so let’s finish up here and go to the agency.” He replied, anxious to make it official to everyone that they were together once again.

 He quickly leaned across the blanket and covered her lips with his. The action shocked her, but she didn’t pull away, she answered the kiss with excitement. The next words came as a shock to her, ” Sanem, why wait, lets get married. I want that more than anything, let’s finish what we had started before. My commitment is to you and it will be forever. What do you say, say Yes, and we can make the announcement when we go to the agency.” His eyes were dancing with happiness, as he held on tightly to her hand. 

A spark of excitement tingled through her body, much like she had felt the first time they had spent the night together. Although perfectly innocent, that night in the sleeping bag in the forest, with him lying next to her, had been anything but innocent to her. It had awakened the first spark of desire inside her. Can looked at her with concern, ” Sanem, are you Ok. Are you going to answer, please don’t leave my question unanswered. Us being together is the only solution.”  She wasn’t sure if she could form the words, or even make the words come out of her mouth, but the look in his eyes had literally taken her breath away. He hung his head and looked away, his face covered with that look of defeat, then a small voice spoke, ” Yes, ….yes, yes Can I will marry you.” She felt this out of body experience as she heard the words that came from her mouth, but no truer words had she ever spoken. He jerked around to look at her, ” You will, Sanem you said Yes, are you sure…..i love you so much.” He pulled her tightly against his body. 

She giggled, ” I guess we have a lot to tell everyone.” She replied, clinging to him as if her life depended on it, thinking how her life had changed in this short time. ” But I think we should wait until I get a chance to tell my parents. Is that ok with you.” She pleaded  with her eyes. He knew she was right so he agreed, ” Ok, but tell them tonight, because I’m ready to tell the world.” He spoke, boldly sealing their happiness with a deep, passionate kiss that had left her weak. She prayed she wasn’t moving to fast, being spontaneous, not using her head, all the sayings that people say to you when they think that you’re making a mistake. But her heart seemed to be guiding her, leading her back to him, just as she knew it would. Can had told her once before to go with her feelings, follow what their hearts felt, ….and that’s just what she did. But of course that’s what she had always done when it came to Can, she had no other choice. 

Can jumped up, ” Are you ready, lets go give our friends the good news.” He announced, his face showing his joy. She smiled, ” Ok, but please don’t make a big deal about it just yet” She begged. He reached out his hand to help her up, but when she stood, that spot in her lower back that always gave her problems left her unable to stand on her leg. That happened at times, it only took a brief second for her to steady herself and be able to stand properly on her feet, but the humiliation of it had already happened. She didn’t have her cane with her, it seemed that she hadn’t needed to as much the past few days so she had left it at the office. She was self conscience about walking with it anyway, so she tried so hard not to use any more than she needed. Can grabbed her, ” Sanem babe are you ok?” He asked, quickly supporting her in his arms. She shied away, not wanting him to see the embarrassment, ” Of course I am, it happens sometimes, nothing to worry about.” She stated, standing tall trying to regain her composure. 

Can hurried ahead to open the car door for her, she lowered her head, not wanting to make eye contact with him, as she climbed in his truck. She quickly fastened her seatbelt and tried to calm down. Can reached for her hand when he got in, “Sanem are the treatments not working as they should, is that why you are still having trouble.” He asked, trying not to sound emotional. She couldn’t look at him, but offered an explanation, ” The therapist explained that it may take some time before the injury would be fixed, but there is a chance that it may never be totally cured. Things like what just happened may be my way of life.” She spoke softly as she looked out the window. Can knew she was embarrassed, but he was going to do everything possible to help her, even if she didn’t want him to. He loved her and if there’s was  something he could do for her, he would. 

The ride to the agency was quiet and it seemed the whole mood had changed. But by the time they had made it upstairs to the agency she seemed to be better. As they walked down the long corridor to the center offices, he could tell she was walking more strongly, she held her head high, trying not to show any of her weakness. He loved that about her, that she was so strong and determined, but all he wanted to do was take care of her, protect her, shield her….heal her..

She smiled as they made their way to see their friends, a smile that lit up the room, a smile that could knock anybody down……that was her. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her as everyone gathered around them, all talking at once, welcoming her back to their lives…

CeyCey was the last to approach her. His eyes had filled with tears as he reached for his friend….

She had missed him, more than she realized……he was the brother she never had, he was more than a friend…….

Chapter 21

Their visit to the agency had made her so happy. Just reconnecting with those people that had meant so much to her had made her day. CeyCey was the most happy of all, especially when Can revealed that were together again, he had wanted that for his friends and knew that one day it would happen. Before all of the problems, Deren had find a place in her heart for Sanem, she had opened up and accepted the fact that Can and Sanem were meant to be. But her dream of being the woman in Cans life had never completely disappeared from her mind. So the news that had reconciled left a bad taste in her mouth, but she smiled and congratulated them both. The only hope she had of satisfying her desire for this man was if he were to return to Fikri Harika, at least she would be able to see him, and who knows, things may not work out with Sanem, they had a rocky relationship to say the least. So he was worth the wait…..

The visit was nice, and being able to tell someone they were back together again had lightened their hearts, making it feel real. By the time they made it back to Sanems office, half the afternoon was gone. Can made sure she made it to her office safe and sound, no more weakness of her legs, and he wanted to see if Metin was there. They needed to talk, but not when Sanem was around. This was going to be a serious talk, and one that may not be so pretty. ” So Metin isn’t here.” Can asked, looking around the door into his office. Sanem shook her head, ” No, he had a court appearance at 2:00, so he won’t be back until later, why?”  Can smiled, “Just thought we could have that talk, you know to start smoothing things over with him.” He replied, but knowing that probably wasn’t going to happen. Sanem took his hand, ” Thank you, I want you to really try, ok. You two were such close friends, I hate to see you like this.” She spoke, her heart full of hope for the two of them. 

Can pulled her close against his body, ” If that’s what you want my love, then that’s what I will do. I will try my best to let go of the past, ok.” He whispered as he nestled his face in her neck, drawing in the beautiful aroma. She tried to wiggle from his arms, giggling, ” Can we are going to get caught again.” But he held her tight. He showered her with kisses, until he felt her body relax and surrender to him. She took a deep breath, ” Can, you make me crazy, why do you do these things.” She asked, her voice wispy and low. Can raised his head to look into her eyes, ” Because I love you, I can’t stand to be without you, I want to touch you, feel you. Does that make you crazy?” He uttered, his face so close to hers she could almost feel his lips. She held his gaze, letting it make that warm and giddy feeling run through her body. ” Yes, that makes me crazy, you make me crazy. You make me feel different, like I was never alive before, just now.” She spoke, embarrassed at her confessions but she couldn’t seem to stop the words from coming. This man altered her judgement, made her mind dream of things that drove her insane, but never had she felt so much like a woman than when she was with him.

The kiss that followed was one of pure desire, a heated exchange of emotions that neither of them had expected. Can broke that kiss after several mind blowing seconds, breathing heavy and feeling quite unsure of himself. ” Sanem, I don’t know how much longer I can wait, I need you more every minute of the day. Let’s tell your parents together and set a wedding date.” She smiled feeling that same feeling, ” I will tell them soon Can, then we will make our plans. He knew better than to argue with her, if she had her mind set on one thing than that was usually what happened. He closed his eyes, imagining what it would be like to have her all to himself, be able to show her in every way how he felt about her. 

She gave him a quick kiss in the lips, avoiding another one of those fire erupting kisses. They may not be able to recover from another, she thought, as she rested her head against his chest. She could feel his heart beating, it was pounding hard as he held her tightly against his body. She stepped back, ” Can, you better go before someone walks in on us, I don’t want to be embarrassed again.” He nodded, hating to release that hold on her. “Ok, but it’s not at all what I want to do, just so you know. And I will pick you up at 5:00.” Sanem agreed, ” I’ll be ready, but I will need to go home tonight, so I can talk to my parents, the sooner the better. I don’t want to make the same mistake as last time. I want them to know how we feel.” She explained. 

Can felt like a weight had been lifted from his heart, as he made his way to his truck. Just to know she would talk to her parents tonight, that she didn’t want to wait, he was happy and wanted to feel this way the rest of his life. Now he knew he had to talk to Metin, he was sure that Metins feeling for Sanem had gone beyond friendship and being her boss, so the quicker he found out they were back together in every way, the better. If he could salvage any of the friendship that was once there he would, but he wasn’t sure if Metin felt the same way.

Sanem got busy, taking care of the last of the client correspondence for the day. She only had a couple of hours to finish up before Can would be back. She thought back to their lunch in the park, smiling, he always made things bigger and better. Even a simple lunch in the park was heavenly when she was with him. Her stomach fluttered with excitement as she recalled the way he begged her to marry him. Would this all finally happen for them, she loved him more than anything, she hoped her parents would understand and be happy for them. If not, she would have the hardest decision of her life. 

But just like that, she remembered her near fall and how her back and leg gave way. It made her cringe, it reminded her that she had problems, problems that may be more than Can was willing to accept. Her injures may be permanent, but then again they might not be. But was he willing to take her with all her flaws now…she felt the tears form in her eyes, stinging them as she fought to keep them from rolling down her face. Maybe he didn’t realize her handicap, would it make a difference if she never regained the full use of her leg? She wondered. 

Maybe she didn’t deserve him….maybe the accident was to prove that to her…

Her heart felt heavy, …..He deserved a whole person, not a person with problems…..

She closed her eyes, there she was always doubting herself, she thought.  But she prayed that she was wrong….

Chapter 22

Can had decided to go back to the agency, with only a couple of hours before time to pick Sanem up from the office, driving all the way home seemed pointless. He would visit with Emre and maybe talk about returning back to the agency sometime soon. Although work wasn’t a priority right now, he knew at some point it would have to be. The thought of that talk with Metin still nagged at him. He would call him later In the day and set a time to get together, putting it off wouldn’t make it any better. With Sanem ready to speak to her parents about their relationship, the need to get things out in the open with Metin was even more important. He was sure his feelings for Sanem were  more than friendship, and if that was the case than he didn’t want Sanem working there. If he went back to the agency, maybe he could convince her to return there as well, but that would mean he would have to tell her that Metin thought more of her than a friend or an employee. 

Sanem took her fear of not being able to get rid of the cane and filed it away in the back of her mind for the rest of the afternoon. She had a ton of work to get done before 5:00, and she was sure she didn’t want to work over, not tonight. She had her plans, it was time to talk to her parents about Can. This time she wouldn’t let them influence her, she didn’t want to make the same mistake as before. She knew her heart and that’s all that mattered. Her parents had loved him once and they accepted him as their son, but after all that happened, both her parents refused to talk about him and blamed him for her accident. The fact that Can had already been to her parents, explaining everything that happened and taking responsibility for his part in it all would make it easier for her to be able to talk to them. She just wanted it all out in the open, no hiding or lying about anything. That’s the last thing she wanted this time…..

The agency had been moving forward, the possibilities of a couple of new client’s had the office buzzing. They really needed a fresh new campaign to get the excitement flowing through the office. Deren had been heading the creative team as they worked on the presentation for a new line of work out clothes. It was a relatively small line but they were hoping to widen their inventory with a top of the line campaign. Erme took Can in his office to give him a quick tour of what they had so far, ” I know you aren’t ready to come back yet, but if you could just look at what we have so far, maybe you can give us your feedback.” Emre suggested, laying out the presentation boards on his desk for Can to look at. At first look the concept was good, but it needed something, something special like bringing in people that had never worked out or exercised before. Make them want to buy those tights and tank tops for the first time and give it a try. Emre and Deren agreed, ” You’re right Can, maybe a more simple approach would capture more attention. There’s probably more people that don’t work out than do, so focus on them.” Deren replied, always in awe of Cans talent for seeing the less obvious. ” See Abi, we need you back here, the agency needs you. Why don’t you come back.” Emre asked as he slapped him on the back. Can smiled, ” Maybe soon, but there’s some things I need to take care of first.” 

It was late in the afternoon when Metin returned to the office. He was excited to tell her about the hearing and the outcome, ” It was perfect Sanem, everything went just as planned, that is thanks to you.” He gushed, giving her a big hug. She shied away, a bit shocked at his actions, “What did I do Metin, you’re the attorney.”  She could feel her face flush with heat, he had never acted that way before, she thought as she quickly moved to the other side of the desk. Metin clapped his hands together, ” I think we need to celebrate, what do you say. Let me take you out of a drink, maybe even dinner. What do you say?…You know what I won’t take no for an answer.” He demanded, as he stood smiling at her. All of her defenses came rushing up to meet her like a tidal wave, just the way he looked at her was different, his whole demeanor had changed. 

She smiled, trying to stay calm, ” Metin thanks for the invitation, but I have to go home this evening. I have plans with my family tonight. And besides there’s no reason to celebrate the fact that I was merely doing my job, you are the one that does all the work in court.” He shook his head, ” Thats not true, if it wasn’t for you keeping up with everything and keeping me lined out, I wouldn’t be nearly as effective in court.”  He stepped around the desk and reached for her hand. On instinct Sanem jerked away, ” Metin, If it’s ok with you I would like to leave a few minutes early today, as I said, I have plans with my family tonight and I don’t want to be late.” She turned to leave his office, her head swimming in confusion. “Wait Sanem.” Metin called after her, ” Are you sure you have plans with your family tonight, or with Can. You know he’s not going to stick around don’t you. He never does, it will be just like before……can you take that. I don’t want to see you fall apart again.”  His words stung her like a million bees. How did he know, what gave him the right to say anything like that to her. She spun around to look at him, ” Metin I appreciate your friendship, and you wanting the best for me, I really do, but you don’t know anything about my relationship with Can, so I don’t think you need to offer me any advice in the matter.” She nodded, hoping that he wouldn’t have anything else to add, as she walked to her desk. 

She grabbed her bag and her cane and started to the door. Metin walked to his office door, ” You know I’m right Sanem, that’s just Can Divit, he doesn’t make long term commitments. I wish I was wrong, but I have seen this all of our lives. I’m sorry….

She felt the tears burn as she rushed out towards the front door. How could he say those things to me, she thought, he doesn’t know anything. And why did it matter to him anyway, he was just her boss. She wiped that tear from her face as she stepped out on the sidewalk, wishing that Can was there as she glanced to her watch. 

Within seconds Cans truck pulled up in front of the building. He jumped out, ” Hey bebek, you got out early. Why didn’t you wait inside for me, it’s hot out here.” He asked, opening the door for her and helping her in. She smiled, her heart feeling lighter and happier, ” It’s ok, I knew you would be here any minute and the fresh air was good.”  She replied, letting all those doubts slip away…..

She looked at Can as they pulled away…..Yes, this was Can Divit, but not the same Can Divit

She knew that Metin didn’t know anything about this man….

But she did….and she loved him.

Chapter 23

Can was chatting away about his visit to the agency and helping them with a new campaign as the they drove toward her neighborhood. She tried to concentrate on what he was saying, but the words that Metin had said to her were still echoing in her head. Why, she wondered, why did it matter to him. This was her relationship and he should be happy for her, if he was her friend he would be, she thought. Her mind was grasping for an explanation, if he really wanted to rekindle that friendship with Can as he said he did, he wouldn’t think those thing about him. She was even more confused, but she would have to forget about it to for now, if she intended to talk to her parents about her and Cans plans. 

Can touched her arm, ” Sanem, are you ok, did you hear what I said?” She smiled, ” I’m sorry Can, I was thinking about what I was going to say to my parents. What did you say?” She asked, giving him her full attention. He reached over moving a strand of hair from her face, ” Bebek, I think your parents will be ok with our relationship, just be truthful and open about what we talked about. Let them know that we are serious and want to move on to the next step. I’ll do whatever I need to do, you know that. I will come and ask for permission to marry. Just tell me when.” He boasted, smiling at her, making her melt inside. She shook her head, ” I know, and It will be. I want to tell them everything so they know that we are ready, that I’m ready for this relationship.” She took his hand, looking at him she knew that everything Metin had said to her was a lie. She saw a totally different man, she saw a man full of love and compassion, a man that showed his love to her in every way. That was the man she loved… 

As Can pulled up in front of her house, the reality of it all settled in his mind. In a matter of a few days he would come here with flowers and candy to ask for this beautiful woman’s hand in marriage. Nothing in this world could make him happier, he knew this now, she was his reason to live. All that time he was gone had been his wake up call, his life had only been to exist until he found her again. Sanem leaned over, giving him a peck on the cheek, which was quite out of the ordinary. She smiled, ” I will call you later, after I talk to my parents. Then we can make our plans for the rest of our lives.” She touched his face, remembering the promise that he had made her that first night they were together after he returned. She knew he would never leave her again, no matter what Metin said, she was holding on to that promise….

Can watched her as she disappeared into the house, his heart beating fast. He had never wanted anything more in his life, he just hoped her parents wouldn’t stand in their way. He headed towards home, full of so much love it was hard to contain himself. The only thing left to do was talk to Metin, and now seemed like the perfect time to him. He picked up his phone and rang his number. ” Metin, how are you.” He asked. ” If you’re not busy this evening I wondered if we could have that talk we have been needing to have.”  Can spoke, ready to clear the air with this man that had been a very important part of his life. Metin took a second before answering, ” Can, I’m fine, but this evening isn’t good for me, I have a dinner business meeting. Maybe we could have this talk tomorrow evening, if you’re free that is.” He answered, just as anxious to have that talk as Can was. They agreed to meet the next day at the bar down the street from his office for drinks. 

Mevkibe knew her daughter well, and knew she was waiting until after dinner to say what was on her mind. As soon as they cleared the table, they took their tea and went to the garden. Sanem was fidgety, nervous to start the conversation, but finally she took a deep breath and started. ” Mom, Dad, I need to talk to you about a few things. As you know Can and I have been seeing each other again. And I know he came to talk to you earlier, to explain his actions and his feelings.” She stammered, not for sure what to say next. Her mother smiled, ” Sanem, your father and I know your feelings and Cans feelings as well. We have expected this talk from you tonight. Yes Can came here to talk to us, he told us everything that happened and everything that he felt. So, if you feel the same as Can, and can forgive what happened in the past, then I see no reason for the two of you not to be together.”  Mevkibe reached for her daughters hand, ” Your pain of the last year should not be forgotten, your love for this man has lasted through many obstacles, and still your love survived, so we approve and welcome Can back to our family.”  She smiled as she wiped the tears from her eye, knowing that her daughter had found the love of her life. Sanem smiled, her heart so full of love, ” Mom how do you always know the right things to say. Thank you for knowing me so well and loving me enough to let me follow my heart.” 

 Nihat stood to hug his daughter, but not as convinced as his wife that this was the right thing. But he did trust and believe in Sanem and her heart. ” We do expect Can to go through the traditional ways, he must come and ask for your hand in the proper way, he does know that doesn’t he.” Her father spoke, holding his youngest daughter close. Sanem laughed, ” Yes Dad, he knows and has already made his plans to do just that. He will do everything that he needs to do.” She replied, more excited than she ever thought she could be.. How could her life be so changed from a year ago, she wondered. Was she suppose to go through all that pain to know this much happiness. Just thinking back to the accident and all the recovery that it took, she never once doubted that he would come back. Maybe that’s what helped her cope with it all…..knowing he would be back for her. 

She closed the door of her bedroom, thinking of what she would tell Can. Before she could even make that call, her phone rang. She answered, ” Yes my love, I was just getting ready to call you.” Can took a deep breath, ” So, how was your talk, tell me what did they say. I can’t stand it any longer.” He demanded, his stomach twisted in knots. 

” Can they knew before I said anything, they already knew, so everything is fine. Of course you have to do all of our traditional ways, but that is ok, right…..

Can could feel his heart stick in his throat, the tears had formed in his eyes as he tried to speak. . ” I will do everything I need to do. Are you sure Sanem, everything is ok for us to marry.

She smiled….” Yes Can, that is, if you still want to………

Chapter 24

Metin paced the floor of his office. He knew if he didn’t at least try to make Sanem see the man that Can really was she would make the biggest mistake of her life. He had seen this behavior from Can since they were in school together, always after the prize that he didn’t even want, it was just the chase that excited him. Metin was sure that Sanem was nothing more than one of those prizes, another ring on his belt so to speak. He grabbed his phone, a simple call, a favor from a friend and that could be all it would take to make her see what really mattered to Can Divit.

” Stephen, hello my friend, It’s Metin. How are you?” Metin asked, ready to set his plan into action. ” Are you still looking for a photographer for your new office in Indonesia, if so I have the perfect one for you. I have an old friend that I haven’t seen in years that is need of a job, you know me, always ready to help.” He boasted, explaining how he knew this world famous photographer. ” Yes, it’s Can Divit, you have heard of him right. Well he’s in between jobs and could really use the work. His personal life was hit a snag and he needs to get away from Istanbul, if you know what I mean.” Stephen jumped at the chance, ” Absolutely my friend, to have Can Divit on our team would for sure make our new magazine one of the top in the world. And he’s desperate for work you say?”  Metin smiled slightly, ” I think he needs to get away more than anything, but yes he wants the work. But you can’t let him know that I called you for this favor, you know he wouldn’t like it if he knew I was behind the job offer, you do understand don’t you.” Metin gave Stephen the phone number, suggesting he call as soon as possible, before he got another job offer….

Metin stared out the window, knowing he had done the right thing. Sanem didn’t need the hurt anymore, the sooner she saw the truth the better. Now just wait, he thought, he knew that Stephen would call immediately, so Cans decision to take the job could be as soon as tomorrow. And he would be there to watch Sanem fall apart again, but this time he would be first in line to pick up all those pieces and help her mend. If she would just let herself go, she could get over Can Divit. 

Stephen couldn’t believe the luck, Can Divit could possibly be on the staff of their new magazine. It was a little late In the day but if he didn’t call now to offer him the job, it just might be too late. He put in the number that Metin gave him and waited for the answer. ” Hello, how May I how may I help you.” Can asked as he answered the phone.  ” Mr. Divit, so pleased to speak to you, I’m Stephen Rocco with The Point Magazine in Naples, Italy, have you heard of it? Can thought for a second, ” Yes, I believe I have, it’s a rather new publication right.” He replied, wondering why this man was calling him. Just the thought that Can Divit would know of their magazine excited him, ” Yes, it is but it’s moving up and expanding, that’s why I’m calling you. We are opening an office in Indonesia and we need a photographer/ manager for the new location. We couldn’t think of anyone more qualified or fitted for the job than you. You would have full run of the magazine, you would hire the staff and also setup the photo opportunities. The magazine has been making strides in the field of visibly opening up the need of aid to these countries that are struggling to survive.” Stephen stated, proud of what his magazine had accomplished. 

Can listened to what Mr. Rocco had to say, but still wondering why he had called him. How did he know that he wasn’t on a job somewhere, what or who gave him the idea that he wanted work. ” Mr. Rocco, I’m flattered that you would think of me to head your new office, but I’m not looking for photography work, or any work that will take me away from Istanbul at this time. My family business of advertising has my interest right now, so with my apologies I will have to decline your offer.” Can replied, making his answer as firm as possible. After Mr. Rocco tried to sweeten the offer with a hefty salary, and many perks, he realized that Can Divit wasn’t about to leave Istanbul, not for any reason, ” Well Mr. Divit, it has been a pleasure to speak to you, I’m sorry that we couldn’t come to an agreement, but I was under the impression that you wanted a job that would take you out of Istanbul. But I can see that is not the case. If you are ever in need of work that would take you away, just give me a call.” 

Can stared blankly at his phone after he hung up from the call. ” How did that man get my number,” He said out loud, ” and why would he think that I would want a job.”  That was the strangest call he had, just out of the blue like that, it was like someone had told him to call. He shook his head, dismissing the call as a waste of time. The thought of leaving Istanbul made him nervous, he had promised Sanem that he would never leave again, it didn’t even sound alluring to pack up and take off somewhere in the unknown. His thoughts turned to Sanem, this was the only place he wanted to be, this was where his heart was. He smiled, taking his drink and walking out to sit under the stars. He was already planning the moment that he would show up at her house with flowers and candy to ask for her hand. It was turning like a movie in his mind, the placing of the rings on their fingers, the cutting of the ribbon, the thoughts of being one step closer to having Sanem as his wife had filled his body with desire.

Metin was sitting in his office, starting out the window. The lights of Istanbul had always been a sight to behold,  he thought, as he wondered if his friend had already places that call to Can. He just knew that Can would jump at the chance to head a new magazine office, traveling to new places had always been what Can was all about. He smiled, remembering all the times that Can would appear back home, just out of no where, surprising his Dad. The many times his Dad would beg him to stay just for a while, but Can couldn’t. He always said that being in Istanbul for any length of time made him sick. That feeling of relief had settled over him, he was sure that Can was already packing to leave, and he would be the one there to comfort Sanem. She would fall apart once again, maybe even go into a depression, but Metin would be there……

He hated to be the one to show her what the real Can Divit was like….

But better now than later…….either way, Metin intended to get her through it…..

Chapter 25

Can’s text came in before she was even ready, ” I’ll be there in 10 minutes, should I come to the door” It read. She smiled, and yelled down to her Mom, ” Can is coming to pick me up, and he’s coming to the door, will you welcome him in?” She asked, hoping for a favorable answer. Mevkibe answered back, ” Of course my dear. I’ll be glad to open the door for him. Are you about ready to come down for breakfast.” Her mother replied. In minutes the bell rang and Mevkibe rushed to open the door, ” Can, welcome, come in. We are sitting down for breakfast, won’t you join us.” Can nodded, glancing around for Sanem, ” Thank you, I would love to.” He answered as Sanem appeared at the top of the stairs. The sight of her took his breath away, as she hurried down the stairs to greet him. ” Good morning Can.” She mumbled as she gave him a hug.

He knew this was his opportunity to set the day and time to come for the engagement, but not having anyone that was the matriarch of the family to accompany him may cause a problem. He had Emre but he was his younger brother, probably not suitable for such a thing. The breakfast was delicious and both Mevkibe and Nihat were waiting for Can to propose a day to come for the engagement. With breakfast over Can knew this was the time to ask for the meeting, ” Mr. Nihat and Mrs. Mevkibe I’m sure you both know of our intentions, I would like to come to ask for Sanems hand. Tomorrow evening at 7:00, if that would be acceptable for you.” He replied, his voice quivering and his heart beating fast. He studied their faces as he waited for their answer. Sanem held her breath as well, for what seemed to be an eternity, before Mevkibe finally nodded. ” I think that would be fine, will you have someone come with you?” She asked. Can cleared his throat, ” Just Emre, he is the only family I have here right now.”  Everyone agreed and the time was set, the excitement of what was about to happen was more than they both could stand.

Her smile was permanent on her face as they drove to the office. He reached for her hand, “Sanem I don’t want to wait to marry, lets set the date as soon as possible. I’m thinking of going back to the agency to work and I would love to get married before I do, what do you think?” He questioned, his eyes pleading with hers. She wanted the same thing, to marry quickly, but she wasn’t sure if her Mom would be acceptable to that. “Can, I can’t think of anything better, but I’m not sure my Mom can put everything together so quickly. Let’s talk about it after tomorrow night, ok.” She leaned over giving him a kiss in the cheek. He caught her before she could move away, ” I need something more than that my future wife” He spoke as they pulled up in front of the law office. He held her tight, letting his hand slid down her arm, feeling the softness of her skin and smelling the sweet smell of her perfume had filled him with desire. He gently found her lips, tasting them eagerly and with demand. It was all she could do to break away, “Can, please we are on the street.” She begged, looking around at the people walking by. He sighed, ” Ok my love, but after tomorrow night, you won’t get away from me so easily.” He joked. 

A peck on the window startled them both, “Hey, what are you two doing, it’s time to go to work Sanem, are you coming.” Metin asked with a smile on his face. ” Can, you need to find a job too, so you have something to do with your time.” He replied with a laugh. Sanem turned quickly opening the door, ” Metin good morning, yes I was just getting out.” Sanem told him, shifting her eyes away from his. Can held on to her hand, ” Sanem pick you up at 5:00, ok.”  She smiled, nodding her head. Metin interrupted, ” Can don’t you remember, we are meeting tonight for drinks, right there at this bar.” He replied, pointing at the club two doors down from the office. Can smiled, ” Oh yes, I forgot. But can we meet after I make sure that Sanem gets home safely. It won’t take more than an hour to drive her home than come back here to meet you.” Metin shook his head, ” Of course, at 6:00 then. I’m looking forward to it my friend.” He waved at Can as they headed toward the door. Sanem looked back at Can, giving him a smile, as she went, feeling that uneasy feeling creeping in like before. There just wasn’t something right with these two, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. Maybe their meeting tonight would clear up what was wrong..

Can watched for a minute, not at all comfortable with the way Metin had ushered Sanem out of his truck and into the office. He had already decided to surprise her for lunch, the less that Metin knew about his plans the better, so he hadn’t said anything to Sanem about it. He was planning a nice lunch together, at her favorite little outdoor cafe on the coast. She had always loved that place and he hadn’t taken her there since he had been back, so today was the day, he thought, as he drove to the agency. Emre was glad to see him, ” Abi, why don’t you just come back to work, we really need you. You can’t just lounge around all day.” He begged. Can thought about it for a minute, ” Emre I’m coming back but not just yet. Look tomorrow evening we are going to the Aydins, I’ve already made plans to ask for Sanems hand and I need you and Leyla there. You’re the only family I have here so I need you to be there for me, and of course Leyla will be there for Sanem.” He announced, with a smile that covered his face. 

Emre was in shock, ” Tomorrow night, Can I thought you and Sanem had agreed to take it slow. Does Sanem know you’re coming, I mean she has to know, but is she ready for that.” Emre stuttered around. Can smiled, ” Yes she’s ready for it Emre. We both know our feelings, there’s no reason to wait Abi, I want to spend the rest of my life with her and she feels the same way. I hope you can be happy for us.” He told him. Emre threw his arms around his brother, ” If this is what will make you happy, then I’m happy. You and Sanem have been through more than most people should be and are still in love, so you can count on me to be there for you.” The two brothers had grown to have a respect for each other that would never be broken. 

” So after the engagement you will come back to the agency.” Emre asked. Can shook his head, “Yes, but something strange did happen yesterday, a Stephen Rocco called me and offered me a job. It was in Indonesia, heading the new office of a humanitarian magazine.” Emre shrugged his shoulders, ” Do you know this guy.” He asked.

Can shook his head, ” No, that’s what was so strange about it. I just wondered how he got my number. He even said he had heard I was looking for a job outside of Istanbul. 

” Of course I turned him down….but It was almost like he wasn’t going to take no for an answer…..

Chapter 26

Metin seemed to be more interested than usual about what was going on with her and Can. Sanem had the file ready for his 10:00am appointment as she tapped on his door, ” Metin here is the file for the Siemens Company, your appointment is at 10:00, do you need anything, like pastries or anything” She asked as she laid the file on his desk. He looked up smiling at her, ” You look beautiful this morning Sanem, you have a glow about you today that I haven’t seen in a while. Something special going on with you.” He asked, giving her a once over look that made her uncomfortable. She could feel the heat rise on her face, ” No, not really, I’m just extremely happy these days.” She replied, turning to leave his office. ” Happy you say, and what has brought on so much happiness. Oh let me guess, Can Divit, am I right?” Metin snarled, shaking his head. Sanem stopped and turned, ” Yes, as a matter of fact that is right Metin. What is going on, I thought that you wanted to mend your relationship but your actions tell a different story.” Sanem replied, remembering all the things he had said to her the day before. Metin leaned back in his chair, ” I never said that, you may have thought that but I never said it. You forget how well I know Can, and there are some things that just can’t be forgotten. And you would be better off if you didn’t forget and forgive so quickly.” He smirked.

The glare from his eyes told Sanem that there was more to Metins actions than she knew about. She politely nodded and returned to her desk, but she could feel the turmoil setting up inside her. She hadn’t seen this side of Metin before, he seemed to be more than willing to destroy what ever relationship he had with Can. She had wanted them to get back to the way things were, but now she wasn’t sure if Metin wanted that at all. She also wondered if Can had seen this side of Metin, maybe that was why he had been putting off their talk. Sanem tried to forget it all by concentrating on her work, and thinking about what was to come the next evening. The thought of an engagement and marriage made her blush as she relived the moment with Can as he dropped her off. She felt her body tingle with desire and the goosebumps covered her skin. Yes, she was ready for it all, she was ready to be Mrs. Can Divit….

The news of the engagement came as a surprise to Leyla when her Mom gave her the news, “Daughter, Can is coming tomorrow evening at 7:00 for the proposal, you and Emre are the only family that he has to accompany him. Be sure he knows all the proper traditions.” She told her, hoping that Leyla would be happy for her sister. Leyla all but gasped, ” Really, when did they decide this, Sanem hasn’t said anything to me.” She declared, remembering Sanems words to her of taking it slow. Mevkibe could hear the doubt in her daughters voice, ” They both feel strongly about this, Can came to us and explained everything that happened and how he felt about Sanem. They are happy and Sanem is sure of her feelings, so let’s support your sister, she has been through enough.” Her mother explained. Leyla agreed, promising to help them both, but she still had a lingering doubt about how fast they were moving.

Can’s arrival at lunchtime was a welcomed surprise, ” Can where are we going for lunch, and why didn’t you tell me you were coming.” Sanem giggled, hugging up to him as they drove toward the coast. He smiled, ” You’ll see, but don’t worry you’re going to love it.” The lunch was a hit, Sanem loved the little outdoor cafe and she loved the fact that Can remembered how much she loved it. As they pulled up in front of the office she realized that they had been gone longer than her regular lunch time, and she hoped that Metin wasn’t there to see that she was late. She gave Can a quick peck on the cheek and jumped out of the truck, Can yelled after her, “I’ll pick you up at 5:00, love you.” Sanem turned and waved at him, as she rushed in the door. Metin watched from the window of his office, he wondered when Can was going to tell her he was leaving Istanbul to take a job in another country, or even if he would tell her at all. The hurt for Sanem was already firing up inside him. The meeting with Can that evening couldn’t come soon enough for him, it was time for him to let Can know just how he felt…

Sanem had barely made back to her office when her phone rang, she grabbed it from her bag hoping it was Can telling her how much he missed her already. But the call was from Leyla, “Abla, hello, how are.” She asked as she sat down behind her desk. Leyla would hear the happiness in her voice and it made her sad, ” Sanem I need to talk to you. Mom called me this morning to let me know about your engagement party tomorrow night. What are you doing Sanem, I thought you told me you would take it slow, make sure he was going to stay around this time. And now Can is coming to ask for your hand, what are you doing?” Leyla asked, her voice taking on a hint of hysteria. Sanem was silent for a second before answering, ” Well I can see that your not happy with the news, but what I don’t understand it why. Yes I had planned to take it slow, examine everything I already knew about Can Divit. But then I asked myself what had changed, my feelings for him had not changed, his feelings for me had not changed. So I wondered why wait, why waste anymore time waiting for things to be better when they were already just how I wanted them.” Sanem stated with confidence in her voice. ” I hope you will happy for us one day Leyla, just as I am happy for you and Emre. This is my life and I intend to live it as I see fit. I have never seen my life without Can in it, I couldn’t imagine my happiness without him.” She told her, her voice cracking with emotion. Leyla closed her eyes, ” My dear Abla, that’s all I want is your happiness, but Can may not be the one to make you happy. Through no fault of his own, he may hurt you without even knowing it, just be careful.” Sanem stood from her desk, ” Why does everyone keep saying that, how do you know what our lives are like, how do you know our plans for the rest of our lives. We both made mistakes, I will be the first to admit, but our love for each other has never been in question. This is what I want and it is the best for me, so don’t worry about Can hurting me again.” Her words had never been more true, and they were spoken from her heart…

She closed her eyes tightly, her heart beating hard. Would she always have to defend their love she wondered….

” No, she wouldn’t. Her love for him was all that mattered……

Chapter 27

Leyla hated to argue with her sister, so she finally agreed with her, ” You are right Sanem, we don’t know what your plans are for your lives, I just want your happiness. If Can is what makes you happy, and you are sure of his commitment, then that’s all that matters.” Sanem took a deep breath, ” Abla, I’m sure of his love for me, he made a promise to me that he would never leave again unless we left together and that’s what I’m holding on too.” She replied, feeling that calmness wash over her. She didn’t have any doubt of his love for her, she just wished that everyone else would see it also. The sisters said their goodbyes with Leyla assuring her that she and Emre would be there for the engagement proposal the next evening. She wondered if Emre had already known about the proposal and just hadn’t told her. Her feelings for Can after Sanems accident had soured, he had devastated her sister by running away without listening to her. She knew she would have to come to terms with the way she felt about him before it damaged her relationship with Sanem.

Metin leaned against the wall behind the door of his office, listening to the whole conversation, at least Sanems side of it. He couldn’t believe what he heard, Can had made plans to propose. Was he still stringing her along, making her think he would remain her in Istanbul. But that didn’t make any sense, he thought, why would he do that. He looked around the door at Sanem, seeing that she was still upset by the phone call so he decided not to go to her. He hated seeing her like that, but he wouldn’t interfere just yet. This made him even more anxious to meet with his old friend Can Divit tonight. He would find out what he was up to, and then he would go to Sanem, armed with everything he would need to let her see the real Can. The bitterness of what Can had done to him that day, in front of everyone, had stuck in his head since it happened. Can was one of his oldest friends, and he thought, one of his dearest. But as he sat at his desk reliving that day at Can’s home when he dismissed him like a low level employee, the hurt from it all was still there, as fresh as the day it happened. He knew then that Can had never considered him a brother, but to take revenge against him hadn’t occur to him until he walked away from Sanem, leaving her weak and broken.

Can arrived at 5:00 sharp to pick up Sanem. He would make sure she got home safe and sound then it would be time for that long awaited meeting with Metin. He wasn’t sure how he was going to handle it yet, but he knew he would let him know that he was aware of the feelings he had for Sanem. The conversation with Leyla was still present in her mind as they drove towards her neighborhood. She didn’t understand why they couldn’t see that Can had changed, well not really changed, but returned to the person he was before Fabri had came into their lives. She was deep in thought, looking out the window, when Can touched her hand, ” Sanem, you’re very quiet, is there something wrong. Did something happen at the office.” He asked, bringing her hand to his lips to kiss them gently. She smiled, ” No, just thinking about what is about to happen, and how happy I am.” She replied, caressing his face with her hand. He too had the same feelings as they stopped in front of her door. He watched her as she opened the door and went in, wishing the engagement would have been tonight. Each minute that he wasn’t with her was like a waste of his time, like nothing else mattered but those precious moments with her.

Metin closed and locked the office door, then made his way down the street to the bar where they were to meet. He was nervous and he wasn’t sure why, he had been waiting for this day for a while now. If Can hadn’t already told Sanem he was leaving for a new job then he would make sure he was the one to tell her. He found a table and sat down, looking at his watch he knew that Can would be there any time. He ordered their drinks and waited. At 6:00 on the dot, the door opened and Can walked in, he looked around for a second until he spotted Metin at the table near the back. Metin watched as he made his way to the table, all heads seem to turn to watch him as he did. He always had that effect on people, that air of confidence, even a touch of cockiness, that way of carrying himself that made people envy him. And Metin did, he had enived him since their early years of boarding school. He always got the best grades, was the best at sports, and inevitably he had all the girls falling at his feet. He hated to say he was jealous, but always being compared to a person that made you feel less than equal, he thought it was probably the proper assessment.

” You already ordered my drink, thank you.” Can said as he sat down across the table from this man that he had always thought of as family. There seemed to be more tension between them than he thought, as that look from Metin seem to bore inside him. Can was the first to speak, “So, I will start by saying that the separation of our friendship was totally my fault and for that I apologize. I let a meaningless issue come between me and a person I considered to be my brother. My relationship with Huma should never had been the reason for what I did.” Can spoke, as he tried to connect with him. Metin stared at his drink, not looking at Cans face, but quietly he replied, ” That day still relives itself in my mind, but the hurt is not as great as it was that day. You could not have hurt me more than if you had stabbed me in the heart.” Metin replied, taking a sip of his whiskey. ” I have come to terms with what has happened, knowing you, I’m sure that you haven’t lost a lot of sleep over it either.” He continued, finally looking directly into Cans eyes.

Can was sure by the look on his face, that Metin wasn’t there to rekindle their old friendship, he was there to make sure that would never happen. Can nodded, ” You’re wrong Metin, that day still haunts me. I’m embarrassed to tell you that. If I could take it back I would. But I think we both know that’s not the reason we are here today.”

Metin looked up quickly, shocked that Can was ready to dive right into that subject that was more important than anything else…..Sanem.

Can’s eyes didn’t shift away from Metins. He held that stare, letting him know that this conversation was about to change. Metin smiled, ” You’re right Can, it’s not about what happened between us. That is over and done as far as I’m concerned. But what you did to Sanem was unthinkable, and for that I will never be able to forgive you.”

Ok there it was, Can thought, the real reason they were there……

” Sanem?” Can replied. ” Why is Sanem any of your business. Unless there’s more to this than meets the eye.”…..

Chapter 28

Metin slammed his drink down on the table, ” What does that mean, are you asking if I’m concerned about Sanem, yes I’m worried about her. I know your track record Can, I have seen over the years how staying in one place for very long just isn’t your style.” Metin mocked, his eyes flaming with fury. Can tried hard to control the anger that Metin was stirring up inside him, ” Maybe that was true in my earlier year’s, but not now. Metin do you not know how much I love Sanem. Or are you blinded by how much you love her.” His words lashed out, stinging Metins mind. Can didn’t stop there, ” Did you think I couldn’t see what you were doing, I also know you Metin, how you work, how you manipulate people. That has always been your personality. Metin Sanem will never be in love with you, I don’t know if you think that will happen, but she thinks of you only as her friend.” Can leaned forward across the table, ” I’m not going any where, I’m not leaving Istanbul. I going to marry Sanem. Sorry if that upsets your plans, but that’s just the way it is. But you can tell Mr. Rocco that I appreciated the job offer. Yes, it took me a while but I figured out what brought on that job offer.” Can replied, watching the change in Metins face. 

Metin swallowed hard, wondering if maybe Can had changed. The old Can would have already wiped the floor with someone for trying to interfere in his life like that. ” Can I have no idea what your talking about, did you get a job offer from someone.” He asked, breaking out in a cold sweat. Can smiled at him, ” You won’t get rid of me so easy, my days of wandering around are over. Trust me, if I leave this town, Sanem will be going with me.” Can blurted, picking up his glass and downing the last of his whiskey. Metin smirked, trying to regain his composure, “You have no idea how badly you hurt Sanem when you left, but watching her suffer with her injuries made me have a whole new respect for her. You don’t deserve her Can, I feel confident in saying that there will be an offer that you will not be able to refuse and one day you will leave her again,  and when you do I will be there to pick up the pieces.” Metins eyes glared into Cans, and his words echoed like thunder in Cans head. 

Metin stood, laying the money on the table for the drinks, ” I believe that we have said all there is to say, if it hadn’t been for Sanem, I wouldn’t have given you the time of day.” He spoke. Can stood facing Metin, ” Sanem always wanted us to solve our differences, but there are somethings that can never be solved or forgiven, and this is one them. There is nothing that you could say or do that would damage my relationship with her, even lies and false job offers won’t work. Sanem will eventually see the person you really are Metin, and it won’t be from me. Are you ready for that day to come.”… Can turned and walked out of the bar, leaving Metin there fuming. 

Sanem has been wondering how the meeting was going, but didn’t want to call Can and interrupt. She hopes he would call her on his way home. The thoughts of what was to come the next night had somehow overpowered any doubts she had about their meeting, making her giddy and full of excitement. She was playing it out in her mind just how it would be, when all of a sudden she realized she had nothing to wear. She knew he had to be something special, not anything she has worn before, so it looked like a shopping trip would take up her lunchtime for the next day. She knew how she wanted to look, now it was just finding that special dress. She smiled as she snuggled down in her bed, ” Red, the dress has to be Red.” She whispered to herself. ” I look good in Red, and it has to be fitted, something that’s going to take Cans breath away.” She closed her eyes, letting the vision become her dream for the night.

She didn’t like lying to Can but telling him she would have to work through her lunchbreak was just one if those little white lies. She knew he would want to come with her to look for a dress if she told him, so she explained how busy they were in the office and she would need to work through her lunch just to get it done. Can nodded, ” Ok but do you want me to bring something up to you, maybe a sandwich or pizza.” He asked, as she opened the door to climb out. She smiled quickly declining his offer, ” No but thank you, I will have something delivered from the deli shop. You just make sure you get to my house on time tonight, I will take a taxi home from work so you have plenty if time to get ready. Don’t forget the flowers and the chocolates.” She added, giving him a wink. He reached for her arm, ” You mean I won’t see you all day,  I don’t know if I can do that. At least let me take you home from work.” He begged, as he gently stroked her silky skin. She tilted her head smiling at him, ” We can do it, it’s just until tonight, and I’m dying to hear about your meeting with Metin, will you tell me about it later?” She said, rubbing her fingers across his cheek.

Finally she convinced him to take the day and prepare for the evening. She watched as he drove away, but she felt the same way, it would be a long day not seeing him. Metin was a little late arriving to the office. She was already working on his the files for his afternoon meeting when he came in. ” Metin, good morning, there is paperwork on your desk to sign and a couple of phone messages.” Sanem spoke, giving him a big smile. He nodded, ” Thanks, could you bring me some coffee please.” He replied, not at all his cheerful self. She took the coffee in, sitting at on his desk, ” Metin are you ok, is there something wrong.” She asked, concerned at his actions. He shook his head, ” No, it’s nothing. Just a little to much to drink last night, that’s all. This coffee should help.” He told her, reaching for the cup. She wanted to ask him about their meeting and how he felt about it, but maybe she would wait till later.

At 12:00 she tapped on Metins door, ” Metin I’m leaving for lunch now, I have some errands to run so I might be a little late getting back, is that ok? She asked. ” Thats fine Sanem, take as much time as you need.” Metin replied, his voice still not sounding himself. She hurried out around the corner and down the street. There was a nice boutique just a few blocks away that she had visited many times. They always had such beautiful things, she knew she would go find something there. It didn’t take her long to make her selection, when she spotted that red fitted dress with the plunging back. This is perfect, she thought, as she slid it on. The image in the mirror brought tears to her eyes, ” He will love it.” She whispered out loud. She picked up a pair of long dangling earrings to go with it, so excited that she had found just what she was looking for.

As she opened the door to the office the sound of Metins voice caught her off guard. It was loud and she knew he was arguing with someone. His door to his office was partially open so there was nothing she could but stand there and listen. ” Look Stephen, I thought I had made myself clear, so how did it go wrong. You were to make this job offer something he couldn’t refuse, you were to offer him the run of the office. That’s what he likes, the control over everything. Did you do that? He yelled. Sanem knew she shouldn’t be listening, but there was nothing else for her to do. 

The next words she heard made her heart stop, ” I told you, Can Divit isn’t a fool, this offer needed to be extraordinary, something to make him jump at the chance to leave Istanbul.” Metin spewed. ” No, it’s too late now Stephen, the damage is done. I will have to think of something else to get Can out of here.” He yelled.

Sanem felt weak, as the words echoed In her head…..but she knew she had to stay calm.

She closed her eyes as the tears filled them. 

So Can was right, Metin wasn’t the person she thought he was…..

Chapter 29

Sanem stepped back out the door, her body trembling. What she had just heard would change the way she felt about Metin forever. She leaned against the wall, forcing herself to calm down. She wasn’t ready to confront him yet, she needed to talk to Can first. She took a deep breath, wiped the tears from her cheeks and entered the office once again, making a bit more noise this time. As she placed her bags behind her desk, Metin popped his head out from around his door. “Back so soon, did you get everything taken care of.” He asked, giving her a wide smile. She returned the smile, ” Yes, I found what I needed, thanks. But I have another favor to ask, when I get the rest of your notes entered, would it be possible to leave early. Tonight is a very special night and I would like to prepare for it calmly.” She spoke, holding back the disappointment from what she had just heard. 

Metin hesitated for a minute, ” Ah, that’s right tonight is the big night, Can Divit is taking the plunge.” He joked, making her twinge. He shrugged his shoulders, ” Sure that’s fine, by the way, will your engagement be a short one or are you going to take your time.” He implored. Sanem smiled, ” I hope it will be a very short engagement, that’s what I want anyway. Oh Metin, how did your meeting with Can go last night. I haven’t had a chance to talk to Can about it yet.” She watched him as he tried to find the words. ” It went as well as could be expected, you know with two stubborn guys that know each other so well. But it will be fine, we’re getting there.” He waved his hand around in a joking gesture. She smiled and nodded as he walked back to his office. What was he trying to pull, she wondered, with what she had just overheard on his phone call, a reconciliation was the farthest thing from Metins mind. But why….

Can had stayed at the agency longer than he had intended. Before he knew it, it was already late in the afternoon and he needed to get home and get himself together. As he walked to his truck he placed a call to Sanem, ” Well, it’s almost time, are you ready.” He asked. She smiled at the sound of his voice, ” I’m leaving work now, how about you. But Can we need to talk before the party, can we meet at the coast.” She asked. Can heard a difference in her voice, it seemed strained and uneasy. He agreed to meet her there in 15 minutes, not sure what this was all about. She was sitting at her favorite spot when he arrived, the sight of her stirred his very soul, how would he have ever lived without her, he thought, as he approached the bench. She turned quickly when she felt his presence, the look on her face told him that there was a problem.

Metin paced in his office thinking about what was going to happen in a few hours and how he was going to stop it. He had waited too long to set his plan on motion, and he had choose the wrong person for the job. So now he would have to do it himself. He would just confess his feelings for her, maybe she had felt the same way about him. But if he did that, and she didn’t feel the same, it would for sure ruin their relationship. He slammed his hands down on the desk, ” Why did you have to come back, why didn’t you just stay gone.” He yelled, feeling the hurt from Can Divit once again. Metin thought back to the days after the accident and how fragile Sanem had been. How he had tried to support her through it all, but somehow Dr. Omer managed to weave his way into her life. Someone always seemed to be In the way, so it took a job offer to get Sanem close to him. He thought for sure that sending her doctor friend away with a fantastic job offer from another hospital would do the trick. He never planned on Can returning, or planned on Sanem still having so much feeling for Can. All of his hard work and planning to make Sanem see that he was the right person for her was slipping away from him. He wasn’t about to let Can Divit win again….

Can sat down next to Sanem, he watched as she gazed out across the pier. She smiled slightly, “This has always been my favorite place, I love the sea, how it just goes on forever.” She spoke, her voice having that sound of sadness. She turned to Can, ” Thats how I want us to be, to go on forever, never ending, can we do that.” Her eyes pleading with him for an answer. Can took her hand, ” Sanem, what is it, what’s wrong. Something happened today and you need to tell me what it was.” She shook her head, ” Why didn’t you tell me you got a job offer from a magazine.” She asked. Can pulled her in close to him, ” Because it wasn’t important, it wasn’t anything I was interested in. The job would have been in Indonesia and I’m not leaving Istanbul, it was that simple.” He told her, holding her tightly against his body. He could feel his anger boiling up inside him, ” Who told you, Metin?” He spewed. She looked at him quickly, ” So you know that Metin knew about the job. But no, he didn’t tell me, I overheard a conversation he was having with a man named Stephen. Can, he is trying to get you out of Istanbul, Metin was the one that set the job offer up.” She cried, still not believing her own words. 

Sanem explained the whole conversation that she had overheard to Can, not leaving out anything. Even the part of him saying that he would have to find another way to get rid of Can Divit. Can stood, rubbing his face, ” I don’t know what happened, I don’t know when he came to hate me so much. But don’t worry, there’s nothing he can do to get me to leave here.” He told her. Sanem could see in his eyes the regret, this was a person that he had depended on for the largest part of his life. A man that, until the argument about the agency, had been his brother. She stood up beside him, ” He lied to me Can, he told me that your meeting last night was good, that you both were on your way to solving your differences. But I know that’s not true.”  Can closed his eyes, going over what was said the night before. Should he tell her that Metin is in love with her…..he knew he had to.

” Sanem, I need to tell you something, something that I know will upset you. But I know why Metin wants me to leave Istanbul.”  Can stammered, not wanting to say the words. ” Sanem, Metin is in love with you. He wants me out of the picture, that’s why he setup that job offer. He thought I would jump at the chance to run my own magazine office.”  The words hit her hard, almost taking her breath away. ” No Can, you’re wrong, Metin is just my friend.” She whispered, to shocked to believe it. Can wrapped his arms around her, feeling her tremble. ” Sanem, he told me last night, but I already knew. He is in love with you.” He replied, the words still cutting like a knife into his heart.

She held on to him as tightly as she could. All that she thought to be true this last year had been nothing more than a lie. 

” Can, I have to quit my job….i can’t stand the thoughts of working there with him knowing how he feels about you.”  She admitted, feeling the sadness of it all turn to anger.

But first she would tell Metin how wrong he was about Can Divit…..

Chapter 30

Can arrived at the Aydins door right on time, followed by Emre and Leyla. He swallowed down his nerves as he rang the doorbell, waiting for the door to open he had a million thoughts running through his head. What if Mr. Nihat had a change of heart and decided not to allow them to marry, what if Sanem changes her mind, what if he froze and none of the words would come from his mouth. But all those fears disappeared when Sanem opened the door. Such a vision of beauty, the sight of her standing there waiting for him to enter had paralyzed him. She smiled, ” Welcome Can, won’t you come in.” The sound of her voice brought him back to his senses, ” Yes, I will. My love you look stunning, I can’t take my eyes off of you.” He spoke, as he gazed over her body. She bowed slightly, ” Thank you my dear, I’m glad you approve. Come in.” She stepped aside to let him enter, quite proud of his reaction to the way she looked.

With all the traditional efforts out of the way, and the coffee served, the ceremony began. Can felt the emotion of all this love that he held inside for Sanem as he told them of his desire to make Sanem his wife. It was a bit nontraditional for the groom himself to ask for the brides hand, but with the absence of an elder member of the Divit family, they accepted it and they accepted him gladly into their family as their future son. With the rings placed and the ribbon cut, Can and Sanem had finally overcome all the obstacles that had plagued them over the last year. Can thought is was as good a time as any to set the date for their wedding, ” Mother Mekibe, Dad Nihat, Sanem and I both would like to set the date for our wedding tonight, if that would be acceptable with you.”  They all agreed on a month, that would still cause a bit of a rush, but it was attainable. 

Can held her hand at the door, ” One month my love, I’m not sure if I can wait that long. Should we make it tomorrow.” He joked, as he leaned in to kiss her cheek. She smiled, feeling those goosebumps cover her body. ” Can we can wait, it will just make it more special. And that’s what I want, special.” She whispered in his ear. He felt his insides shiver as they said said their good night, ” If special is what you want, then special is what you’ll get my love.” He replied softly as he looked into her eyes, knowing that the rest of his life would be nothing less than just that with her by his side.

The next morning as Sanem arrived at the office, the anger she had felt the night before had turned to pity. She knew Metin would be there early to prepare for his 11:00 meeting, so she would need to be quick to say what needed to be said. A few minutes later the door opened and Metin entered, ” Good morning Sanem, you are here early. I thought you might be running late because of last nights festivities.” He spoke with a hint of sarcasm. She smiled, ” No, I wanted to be here early to clear out my things, and to let you know that you can try whatever you want to get rid of Can, but it won’t work.” Metin turned to her, his face turning a slight shade of red, “Excuse me, what do you mean. What makes you think I’m trying to get rid of Can.” He asked, as he fidgeted with the papers on his desk. She stepped closer to him, ” I heard your conversation with Stephen yesterday, it was very informative. You didn’t leave anything to guess, you spelled it out quite nicely.” She spewed, her eyes narrowing to glare at him. 

Metin recalled the conversation with Stephen the day before, ” So you were listening, ok…then you know that’s all it will take to get Can to walk away from you again. Just the right job to come along and he will be gone before you know it.” He told her, his words stinging her heart. How had she so misjudged him, all these months he pretended to be her friend and Cans friend as well. ” I thought you were my friend Metin, but all along you were just out to hurt Can, or were you out to hurt me.” She asked. Metin smiled, ” Not at all Sanem, I didn’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want anyone else to hurt you. I’m trying to protect you.” Sanem shook her head, ” Can isn’t going to hurt me. We are getting married in a month and starting our lives together. I think it would be best if I quit, so I will gather my things from my desk and leave.” She replied, turning to leave.

” Sanem, I know Can.” Metin spoke. ” Staying in one place won’t make him happy….you won’t make him happy. He’s a person that needs to be alone.” 

She stopped at the door turning to look at Metin, ” You really don’t know Can Divit. In all these years you still don’t know him. I know how much he loves me, it doesn’t matter what you do to try and come between us, I trust him. He made a promise to me that he would never leave me again and I know he will keep it.” She smiled, ” I’m holding on to that promise…with all my heart.” 

She had never felt so strong and sure of herself as she gathered her things from her desk. Sanem left Metins office that day more in love than ever with Can Divit and without as much as a glance back….

Can and Sanem married one month later in a simple and elegant ceremony near the coast. After a long honeymoon along the coastal towns of Greece, they returned, with Can taking over the agency once again. Sanem returned as creative writer along side Can, making them a force to be reckoned with. 

It seemed that Can had everything he wanted, Sanem and the beautiful home they had built around their hut in the mountains. They lived their lives together with their two beautiful children, never willing to leave their beloved home of Istanbul. 

Over time the thought of what Metin had tried to do to them slipped away.  Can would never be able to forgive the Metin that had tried to destroy what he had Sanem, but he would forever long for that person that he had considered his brother so many years ago.

As for Metin…he was destined to watch from a distance, as Can and Sanem basked in the joys of their love. Forever holding true to their hearts…

Love…..if it is a true love, can make anyone change their life. 

Promises……making a promise to someone you love shows just how devoted you are…..

Holding on to a promise from someone you love, makes that love grow stronger…….

2 thoughts on “Holding On To A Promise”

  1. Even though I have read this before, it doesn’t diminish the feelings I get for Sanem and Can. What they went through to keep their love alive. Another one of your beautiful stories Miss Virginia. Thank you for the pleasure you give to me. ♥️♥️♥️

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