Our Memories… The Second Time Around

by grannydew, posted in The Memories Series

Chapter 1

” Sanem, I’m so happy for you, Leila screamed. ” And for Can too, of course.” Her sister was twirling around in the kitchen echoing her thoughts of joy. Sanem had just described the most romantic story of her life. Can had waltzed into the party and swept her away, revealing that his memory had full and completely recovered. He remembered everything, each detail of his love for her, the good and the bad. How his heart had been wounded but not broken from her deceit and lies. The reasons behind all the lies were plain to see, she loved him with all her heart and soul. Nothing could break the bond between them, she was his, “once in a lifetime love,” she was his breathe of life. 

They were sprawled on the bed in Can’s hotel room, and he listened to her explain the evenings event, wishing for her to hang up so they could continue their reunion of him regaining his memory. He held her, tight, as she gushed had romantic he had been. He gestured for the compliments to keep coming, in his usual Can Divit way, getting a smile from her. He was proud of himself for jumping on that plane and flying to Switzerland, not waiting for her to return home. Taking control of their love and their hearts, he had a lot of time to make up for so he might as well start here. She was so beautiful and happy, it made her glow, it was so familiar and content. How could he have forgotten this feeling, it was so big he thought he might burst. It’s funny how the mind works, I guess it was a safeguard for the heart sometimes, and it took a fear of losing your heart to open it. 

She hung up, twisting around to lay against his body. She had him pinned to the bed, ” Well, my dear, my Prince Charming, where did we leave off.” She whispered. She covered his lips with a juicy kiss, lingering for a time and letting her tongue slid between their lips. She would stay there forever, tasting him, breathing him in. But Can had other ideas, he circled her waist with his arms and flipped her over to reverse the position. She gasped at how fast he worked, changing the whole vibe of the moment. Their eyes melted into each other, it smoldered her mind, his hot breath was burning her face. Her breathing was jerking and labored, ” Can, what are you doing to me.” She pleaded. His body was heavy and intimidating, as they continued to search each other’s presence. He smiled his half smile, ” What you have been doing to me for months,” Or at least I hope that’s what I’m doing.” He growled. 

The ringing of her phone interrupted their debate, she reluctantly looked at her phone. ” Oh man, it’s Bedir, I have to take it, I’ll be right back.” She assured him, kissing him on the cheek. He fell over on the other side of the bed, with a heavy sigh, ” Why did someone always to have to call.” He thought. His desire was hanging by a thread, he had wasted so much time not remembering, now he wanted to make up for it. She was in a deep conversation as he got up and moved to the window, looking out over the city.  ” So perfect and beautiful, just like her,” he mulled over in his head. He could stay here with her forever, with no phones of course, this is all he needed. 

She was off the phone now, walking towards him with an air of seduction, they she hadn’t even known she had. But it mesmerized him, tantalizing him to want more. ” Can, my plans have changed, I have another engagement tomorrow, just a luncheon. It shouldn’t take much time and then we can be on our way home, that is if you don’t mind waiting for me.” She said with a demure look and a little pout of her lips. How was he to deny her, that look that grabbed him and held on for dear life, making him speechless and breathless. ” Of course my love, nothing could tear my away, I’m here for it all.” He stated. He took her phone and tossed it on the table,  ” No more tonight, did you tell him you were busy, not to call again.” He demanded. His eyes dark and half closed, piercing into hers, with desire. She stared, unable to break the hold of him, ” No, but my phone is turned off, will that do.” She breathed. 

Their closeness stirred the heat to a degree of intensity. His touch on her bare arms sent flames through her body, soon she would need to be douched with cold water. He wanted her more than life itself, but was that what she wanted right now, they hadn’t even talked about the future. He was ready to get married now, here in Switzerland, have the honeymoon and never go home. But he knew her and her family, they would never forgive them. So pull it in Can and be respectful of the woman you love. At least find out what she wants before you ravish her body like a sex starved teenager. He held her close, touching her forehead with his, ” Sanem, we can wait for this until we marry, I know you would prefer that.” I just ask that we get married soon, or I might just go crazy.” He pleaded.   She frowned, ” Can, is that what you want, to wait, are you sure.” She asked. He cupped face in his hands, ” My love, this is for you, I can wait for you as long as I know you’ll be mine soon.” He whispered. ” I want everything to be right, I want to ask for your hand, your traditional ceremonies, all of it. No more half ways, you, your family and everything that comes with it, just soon.” He begged. She smiled, ” Oh Can, we will, we’ll have it all. I promise.” Lets spend the night together, in each other’s arms, it will make our union so much sweeter. ” He was content, his heart was happy, to hold her and breath in her smell. 

He watched her sleep, the woman he loved with all his heart. Unconditionally and without thought, she made him whole, his other half.

Chapter 2


Sanem was dressing for the luncheon and Can was taking care of the flight home. They had gotten up early, had breakfast and went to her hotel a few blocks away. He was packed and ready to go after her affair, but she insisted he come too, she wanted to show him off. After all the book was about the two of them, so why not let them meet her Prince Charming. Their flight was at 3:35pm so they would have to hurry to make the airport in time, then they would arrive in Istanbul approximately 7:45. Just enough time to get to Mevkibe’s and Nihat’s before it got too late. Leila and Emre would meet them there to share the big news. Then they would have to say goodnight to each other for a while. Can really likes his idea better, of marrying here in Switzerland and taking the honeymoon immediately, but he was denied that pleasure. 

The luncheon was an event, Sanem was honored with a plaque of honorary citizenship, a very nice gesture. Can was greeted with much attention and cheers, he took it in stride, honored to follow her as she accepted her welcome. It was a lovely affair and was over just in enough time to get to the airport. They traveled first class so they would be more comfortable, and more private. He chose every chance he could to be alone with her. It was a relatively short flight, as he got settled in, she also got comfortable. The seats were somewhat private, making it difficult not to take advantage of the situation. As she adjusted to get comfortable, he moved the arm separating the seats, pulling her over to lay across his chest. The attendant making her stops asking for drink orders, quickly moved on when Can shook his and gave her a wink. Her body pressing against his made his heart beat fast, she was already nodding off, but the heavy breathing from Can stirred her and she knew he wanted more. He slid his hand under her blouse to rub her back. Just his touch ignited her, as he slowly explored her body, her breathing became as his. He ran his hand down the length of her body, following her curves and caressing her bottom as she had her knees drawn up and tucked in against the back of the seat. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed her breasts against his chest, feeling his heat tingle her skin. He buried his face in her neck and suck in the smell of her. He whispered, ” This is going to be a very interesting flight my love,” I hope your we can make it.” 

Sanem smiled, nodding her head in agreement, as their skin burned through their clothes and made them sweat. The sweet taste of her lips drove him crazy, his tongue found hers and explored it for a while. She moaned as she sucked on his bottom lip, making him gasp for air. He took a deep breath, ” Sanem, watch out what you do, there may be a point of no return,” He groaned. She giggled, ” What Can, does that make you hot, and bothered.” She teased. He sighed, ” Just looking at you does that, so take heed, my love.”  The attendant was making her rounds again, forcing them to adjust themselves and try to act normal, Sanem was quite amused by it all, but Can was a bit agitated. The attendant glanced quickly then moved on. They neither one made eye contact with her. She kissed his neck and chest, ” Just calm down sweetheart, why don’t we try and take a nap,” she suggested. ” Ok, sure, with you kissing all over me, I barely know my name now, so I don’t think a nap will help.” He pouted. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, he was so cute when he was frustrated, she couldn’t resist. She took her tongue, from where his shirt was open, and ran it from his broad tanned chest all the way up his neck to his ear, ” You really do taste delightful,” she teased as she nibbles on his ear lobe. He shot her a look, ” Sanem, I mean it, watch it, or we’ll both leave this plane embarrassed.” He shifted in his seat, but feeling the hardness rub against her side, she knew his warning was true. She bit her bottom lip and looked him in the eyes and mouthed, ” I’m sorry my love, is there anything I can do,” she asked sheepishly. His eyes took on a serious look, and he whispered, “Yes there is….do nothing and don’t move.” She quickly obeyed his request. He again leaned back and took a couple of deep breaths. She …..didn’t move.

The rest of the flight was quiet, with just peck or two on the cheek. Nothing much to arouse them. They talked about their house and what they wanted to do to make it their own. New furniture for sure, and she wanted to take some of Can photos, have them enlarged and framed for them to display do the walls. He was very excited about that, he knew she appreciated what he did, but to hang them in their home meant a lot to him. Their home would be a reflection of both their tastes, and they couldn’t wait to start living their life. He had to call his dad and tell him he had regained his memory and he and Sanem were planning their wedding, hoping he would make the trip back to attend. She asked him about his mother, but he hadn’t talked to her in quite some time. Apparently, she had a new husband and was living in Austria, so her coming, was more than likely not an option. The relationship was still rocky since he had lost the memory, but now he knew they had mended their fences a little and tried to have a mother, son relationship. 

The flight landed at 7:50 and they grabbed their bags and called for a taxi. A forty minute ride to her neighborhood and into the greeting arms of the mother and dad. They embraced Can like the son they never had, so glad his memory had returned along with the love for their daughter. The past couple of months had been hard on Sanem, it was time for them to be happy. Can was anxious to set the date for the engagement party, and then date for the wedding. They saw no reason to wait. He requested to come the following night with a proposal and they agreed. Mihriban would ask for her hand for Can, he was more than thankful for her. And her gifting the house to them meant a lot. Their bond was closing together, she always had a bond with Sanem making them just like family. 

“All our dreams were coming true one by one.” He thought, the reality setting in. 

Nothing could stop them now, as they traveled their journey of love…

Chapter 3

The plans were made, and he said his good nights to Mevkibe and Nihat with hugs and kisses. Leila and Emre left ahead of Can to head home. Her parents smiled and winked at each other, retreating to their own room so Can and Sanem could say their goodnight. The thoughts of their own courtship played in their heads and made them giggle as they left the room. This was the part they dreaded the most…. parting. Is seemed they were apart so much of their love life, that it pained them to separate when their hearts were joined with happiness. The feel of her molded him to her, his hands wanted to stay there fixed like glue, to never let her go. Her arms circled his neck, she stretched on her tiptoes to bury her face snuggly under his chin, letting his beard gently rub her face. She loved that feeling, his beard tickling her nose. His smell was always with her, it made her happy, it was like no one else. ” Sanem, come with me, to my house.” He gently let his fingers glide through her hair. “I really can’t let you go, I’m so afraid something will happen if your not with me every second.” He pleaded. She moaned, regretting her answer before she could say it, ” Can there’s nothing I would love more, but you know that’s not possible.”  She whined. ” We have to be patient for a little while longer, then we will have the night of our dreams…..right? It will be special, won’t it? She asked. He moved back to look at her face, ” My love, it will be the dream of the rest of my life not just a night, our love will span decades, ” He gestured, waving his arms in a circle. She laughed, “ Can, are you sure of this.” Her eyes exploring him for the right answer. ” Never been more sure of anything in my life, you are the air I breath and the warmth I feel, you’re my everything.” He beamed with love. 

She stood at the door as he drove away, ” Please be safe my love. ” She spoke softly. She said goodnight to her parents, as she passed by their room, walking down the hall to her room. Her room again, it had been some time since she stayed there, but she knew this would be the last time. She would have to pack up her apartment and move it all back to her parents. Maybe CeyCey would help her pack. Her life with Can would start soon and there would be no reason for her to return there. Her dreams of a family were coming true. She let her thoughts wander, “I’m not sure how many children Can wants, but I want 3.” She decided. I think 2 girls and a boy, that would be perfect, with beautiful dark hair and dark brown eyes just like their father.” She smiled. She turned over grasping the pillow in her arms, hugging it tight, ” I’ll just pretend this is Can, ” she thought, ” And maybe I can get some sleep.” But her eyes refused to close from excitement, with the thoughts full of what was to come, and how her life was about to change. At some point her body gave in and slept, it was totally unexpected, but refreshing. She woke to a text, ” Good morning my love.”  She smiled and sighed as she returned the message, ” Good morning, sweetheart,” you’re up early.”  He replied, ” Couldn’t sleep for thinking of you, so up early for sports.”  She blushed at the thought, ” Oh really, and what were you thinking my love. ” she asked.  He smiled at his thoughts, ” Can’t say I’m pretty sure it’s illegal.” I’m coming to pick you up and take you to the agency with me, ok.” Be there in 30 mins.” Love you.”  

She smiled, twisting around in her bed with anticipation,…wait…30 minutes.. She jumped up and ran to the shower, quickly showering and blow drying her hair. She got dressed and twisted her partially wet hair up in a bun, and was out her door. The parents were gone to open the store, so she waited for Can on the doorstep. Mevkibe saw her daughter at the door and called to her. ” Sanem, come so we can talk about the wedding,” she yelled. She waved, ” Can’s on his way, we’ll talk tonight I promise.” She called to her. Cans truck pulled up and she jumped in. She leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek. He smiled a wicked smile, ” You’re going to have to do better than that my dear,” He stated. ” Just wait until I get a few blocks away, then you’re in for it,” I’ve missed you all night.” His eyes were smoldering with heat as he took her hand in his and kissed it, resting his lips there. She stared into those eyes that captivated her, making her weak, how could a man be so devastatingly handsome. True to his word, a few blocks down the street, he whipped into a parking lot. He flipped off his seatbelt, turned and pinned her against the back of her seat, she gulped. ” Can,….she started, but was cut short. He covered her lips with his, strong and with purpose, he searched for her tongue with his, finding it, demanding it until he needed a breath. They parted, but just slightly, with a gasp for air, she blinked her eyes to regain consciousness. He stuck to her, his lips touching hers, ever so slightly, and he licked his lips, skimming hers along with them. Her eyes were closed, there was no breathing, she was paralyzed, and he whispered, ” Good morning my love, my god how I missed you.” His warm breath tickled her lips, making her shiver.

She was finally able to open her eyes and she was met with his eyes, dwelling deep into hers, showing the desire he had for her. She was barely able to speak, ” Is that your every morning kiss, or was that a special occasion kiss,” she stuttered. The look on his face grew serious and sensual, “That’s our everyday every minute, every occasion kiss. I can’t get enough of your taste.” His voice barely more than a whisper. He covered her mouth with his lips, sealing the conversation with a kiss. He fastened his belt and pulled out of the parking lot and drove on to the agency. The look of satisfaction beamed from his face, as she stared at him in wonderment, she thought, ” Ah, Sanem, Ah, what have you got yourself into. You have no experience for a man like this.”  

” I sure hope he’s willing to give lessons.” She thought with amusement and anticipation…….

Chapter 4

The whole office erupted into applause when Can and Sanem walked in. Sanem smiling ear to ear and Can with both hands waving in the air. CeyCey ran to greet her, she hadn’t seen her friend in a while, so the feeling was mutual. Leila and Emre joined the rest of the office to welcome the couple back. What a day this was going to be, working, moving, and an engagement party, there’s no time to think. After the excitement of their arrival, the two headed for his office, she stopped to make tea for the both of them. He was delighted, ” Ah,” he closed his eyes as he sipped the tea. ” That’s the best tea I’ve had in months, ” You know it’s because it’s your tea.” He winked at her. She smiled, even a shallow little compliment from him could arouse her when he looked at her like that. They enjoyed their tea together and the alone time, but she broke the silence by saying, ” Can, I need to go to my apartment and pack it up today, do you think I can borrow CeyCey for a bit to help me.” She had felt excited about closing that part of her life. He had forgot all about her apartment but agreed that CeyCey could help. ” Just pack it all and tomorrow I will load it in my truck, and we can take it to your parents’ house.” He suggested. ” We have a important party tonight, and I don’t want to be late.” He walked around the desk, leaned down and kissed her, softly on the lips. Can had arranged for Ms. Mihriban to accompany him to the engagement party that evening and ask for Sanem’s hand. Their bond had grown over the months, and she felt like Can was her own child, which made her happy to be able to be included in the ceremony.

Her and CeyCey were leaving the office, on their way to her apartment as Aicha was coming in. She stopped and watched her, Aicha nodded slightly at her letting her know she acknowledged her presence and continued on her way towards Can’s office. CeyCey glances at Sanem, shaking his head, ” Do you want to wait to go, we can wait if you want.”  Sanem hesitated, ” No, it’s fine, I trust him to let her know what’s going on.” Her heart feeling at ease. She lifted her head with confidence, and they went on their way. Can was busy with his work, going over the final text on a revised campaign, when someone approached his desk. Without even a tap on his door, she strolled right up to his desk, with hands in her pockets, she said, ” What was Sanem doing here Can, and why didn’t you let me know you were going out of town.” Her tone making him feel unsettled. His eyes shot up from his laptop, and immediately the anger started to rise, ” Aicha, why are you here, do we have a meeting.” His eyes looking at her coldly. She relaxed her demeanor and smiled, ” Can, no we don’t have a meeting today, I just wanted to see you.” “Where did you go anyway, I had to learn about your trip from Deren.” She seductively leaned across his desk. Can stood, “Aicha I would have told you where I was going, if I thought it was any of your business, but since I don’t think it is, I won’t.” I know you are a client of this agency, but my personal life is my and we will keep it that way.” He kept that look of coldness. Her guard was up, and he knew she didn’t like what he had to say. ” And Sanem, what was she doing here,” don’t tell me you have patched things up.” She spewed. Can rolled his eyes and sighed, ” Ok, yes we are back together, and are getting engaged tonight.” We planned to be married in a month.” So, there is nothing else you need to know. If you will excuse me, I have a lot of work to do.” He stated firmly. She was firmly planted there and had no intentions of leaving, “Are you joking, Can, you can’t be serious.” What about us, I thought there was a connection.” We have the same hobbies, and we enjoy the same type of things.” She whined.  He stood, circling the desk to face her, ” Aicha, there was nothing between us, not now or has there been, do you understand.” I’m in love with Sanem and we will be married.” Sorry I have to be so blunt, but those are the facts.” He explained. Her face was drawn, and her mouth was tight, ” And what about my company and the campaign,” Are you prepared to lose us as clients. ” Her eyes glistening with the forming of her tears. Can lowered his head, ” If that’s what it would come to, then yes.” There would be no choice between your company and Sanem.” She glared at him and turned to leave, looking back she said, ” You’re making a big mistake, I hope you know that.” 

Can never appreciated threats, especially when it involved his personal life. Emre hurried into Cans office when he saw Aicha storm off out of the building. ” Abi, are you ok.” Patting him on the shoulder. Can assured him things were fine. Maybe she had gotten the message this time, and he was glad that Sanem hadn’t been there to hear it all. Well, that’s over, now on to more pleasant things. He would take advantage of Sanem being out of the office for a while today and take a trip to the jewelers to pick out a ring. He knew that tonight’s ceremony would consist of two gold bands, that was their tradition. But he wanted to give her an engagement ring to go along with it. Something that would show her how much he loved her, a special stone that had a lot of meaning. He thought he knew her taste in jewelry, they both liked unusual pieces, but this had to be special and unusual. He ducked out from the office and went to his favorite jewelry store hoping to find just what he was looking for. Sanem and CeyCey had most of her thing packed and ready to go within a few hours. She talked to the landlord and they agree for her to leave a couple of things there that she has bought. It was a lamp and a table beside her bed, a few kitchen items and the curtains. He thanked her for being such a good tenant and wished her well. She explained they would come tomorrow to pick up the boxes and leave the key. Standing in the door, scanning around this tiny place that she had called home, the liberation of her soul and the mending of her broken heart had started there, now she felt more like herself than she had in months, and more in love….

As they walked away, and back towards the agency, she thought how her life had changed, from that heartbroken girl that had walked this neighborhood searching for peace, to this woman walking away with her soul complete and happy.

Chapter 5

” This is it,” He said with excitement. He held a beautiful ring, with an amber colored stone in his fingers. The setting was gorgeous, a special cut yellow diamond that was darker in color than most, with smaller diamonds surrounding it and lining the band. It looked just like the amber necklace he had given her on her birthday, the one that would unite her with her true love, according to the story. He was sure she would love it, ” I’ll take this one,” He announced with a broad smile on his face. The jeweler assured him he had made the best choice, for this stone was quite rare and it was one of a kind. It had to be sized so they would have it delivered to his office by the end of the day. He was excited and full of happiness as he drove back to the office. CeyCey and Sanem were on their way back to the agency from their packing trip, with that done, she was ready to head home to prepare for that evening’s festivities. Her and Can said their goodbyes as her and Leila left for home to get ready. Can, Emre and Ms.Mihriban would come together in a couple of hours. Relieved that Sanem decided to leave early, it saved him from trying to hide the arrival of the ring.

The afternoon had flown by, and before he knew it, it was time to go. He was taking care of some files on his desk when a courier from the jewelry store tapped on his door, “Can Divit,” I have a package for you, will you please sign here.” He ordered. Can quickly signed, and took the package, anxious to open the box and get another look at the perfect ring. Emre had entered the room, ” Is that it, Abi.” Let me see.” He harped. Can was excited beyond belief, he knew she would love it, so why was he so nervous. He removed the red ring box from the large envelope, he took a deep breath and popped the top open. Emre’s eyes popped out, ” My god brother, I have never seen a ring more beautiful in my life. What stone is that.” He asked. Can smiled, he loved it, this was exactly what he had in mind. ” This is a yellow diamond, but this has a darker color than most, so it’s really rare.” Isn’t it something, this was the only yellow diamond in the store.”He said with enthusiasm.” She’s going to love it.” He gushed. He tucked the ring box into his pocket, slapped Emre on the back and gave him a hug, ” Come on let’s go get ready for the first step of the rest of my life.” He laughed. Emre laughed, he never thought he would see his brother, Can Divit the world traveler and solitary man, be rushing out to get engaged, full of love and happiness. But those Aydin girls had staked their claim to the Divit brothers, and nothing would ever separate them….

Sanem and Leila rushed in and hurried upstairs. Mevkibe and Melihat were busy in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the traditional engagement party food. The house was spotless and the smells from the kitchen were calling Sanem’s name. She had completely forgotten to eat that day, with the packing and the excitement of the party, it had slipped her mind. She dressed and rushed down to grab a bit, just to tide her over. The table was beautiful, the colorful dishes and the decorations, they had outdone themselves. She grabbed a biscuit from the plate and stuffed it in her mouth, Mevkibe screamed, ” Daughter, what are you doing, this is ready to go, you’re going to mess everything up.” Sanem turned and ran out if the kitchen to avoid a swat from her mother. Sanem was to make the coffee for the ceremony and be sure and make the salty coffee for Can. She looked at the clock, ” Well, it’s 6:55, I have 5 minutes to pull myself together.” She breathed in and out a few times. She heard the doorbell, and her nerves soared to another place, far above what she thought possible. Within a matter of minutes, her parents living room filled with people. There was Ms. Mihriban, Melihat, Can, Emre and Leila along with herself and her parents. ” Yes, this was happening, this time it was all coming true.” Her heart and mind were pounding. 

Can looked gorgeous, his black vest and white shirt, that the way she loved to see him. Just the right number of accessories and his perfect hair, what more could any woman want. This woman wanted nothing more, just him….

He had eyes for only her, she was more beautiful than he had ever seen her. The perfect soft pale yellow silk dress, skimming her body like a glove, flowing down to the floor. Just tiny straps draped over her shoulders to hold it all in place. His insides trembled like a leaf, fluttering in the wind. How had he gotten so lucky to find this strikingly beautiful woman, so unique and different. He was put on this earth for this woman and would be beside her the rest of his days. His eyes teared as they captured each other with that look of devotion and love. 

With everyone there, the ceremony was ready to begin. She brought the coffee, she smiled as she served him the salty coffee with a wink. He eyes had a look of despair in them, but she knew he would drink his offering without a sign of distress. With all the coffee served, she sat down beside Can, and he took her hand. Usually, touching was not allowed until after the ceremony, but the elders did not say a word. These two had been through enough to last a lifetime, so a little hand holding would be permitted. Mihriban took her cue from Mevkibe, to start the ceremony. It was all quite beautiful, as she said, ” As we all know the children have met and fell in love. Let us not be the ones to keep them apart.” With Gods command and the Prophets, we ask for your daughter for our son Can. Do you give?” Sanem looked at Can, a feeling of calm came over her, this man would always protect her, she knew it in her heart. Nihat studied his daughter and his soon-to-be son carefully, and said softly, ” This couple has endured the troubles of a thousand years and are still bound together with love and respect. It is with the greatest pleasure I say, ” I give.” The room erupted in applause and hoorays, with lots of kissing and hugging. 

The next few moments were the ritual of the rings, and the cutting of the ribbon. After that was done Can took out the red ring box from his pocket. He knelt on one knee before her, ” Sanem, my most precious gift of my life, will you come together with me to make our lives as one.” Will you marry me?” The gasps were echoed around the room, as they saw the ring. Sanem’s eyes rimmed with tears, and her voice shook. ” Can, my only love, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” The tears rolled down her cheeks…. as he slid the ring on her finger.

Chapter 6

He slipped the ring on her finger, she looked into his eyes, ” This looks like my necklace, the amber one, Can I love it so much.” She threw her arms around his neck and showered him with kisses on his cheek. No kissing on the lips in front of her father, just another tradition that was way outdated and unnecessary. Can smiled, quite pleased with himself for the ring selection, it looked like he was getting everything right for a change. Everybody came over to look at the exquisite yellow diamond ring, a lot of, ooohs and ahhhhs, from the women and a thumbs up from Emre. And now to set the date for the wedding, Can was anxious to finally have it set, then it would feel like it was really going to happen. They wanted it in one month, but her mother wasn’t sure if that was enough time. Sanem stepped in and said, ” Mom, we don’t need a big elaborate wedding, just something simple and beautiful.” I would like it at the farm, if Mihriban is ok with it. Her mother agreed, already feeling the effects of planning a wedding in a month.

The party lasted for hours, with several of the neighbors joining in. Can and Sanem could not have happier, this was their dream, and it was coming true. It was late when everyone started to leave, Emre and Leila left to go home leaving Mihriban to ride home with Can. Him and Sanem said their goodbyes, hating to leave each other. He promised to pick her up and take her to the agency with him the next day. She all but floated upstairs to her room, dressed for bed and settled down in her bed. Can called as soon as he arrived home, ” Hi, my love, I miss you so much.This has been quite a night, hasn’t it. His voice low and full of desire. ” I really not sure if I can wait a month, but I’ll try,” he teased. She talked to him about having the wedding there at the farm, outside with all flowers and trees. It would be wonderful, she told him, and he agreed. He would ask Mihriban for her approval, which he was pretty sure he would have. They both were living in their fantasy world, so happy and content. 

As the next few days went by, they spent their days shopping for furniture, and all the little touches for the house that would make it their home. Her and her mother along with Leila, took trip into the city to find her wedding dress. It was an allday affair, but they had the most fun, she felt like a queen holding court. After trying several beautiful dresses, one of the ladies brought over a dress for her to try. It was lace with lots of beading, and sequins dotted the bodice making it sparkle, it was an off the shoulder style, it fit close to the body then flowed out with a fabulous long train that was covered in sequins. With every move she made the dress illuminated, like a dress full of flashing light bulbs. She couldn’t believe how perfect the dress was, she chose not to wear a veil, just flowers would weave through her hair. She had found her dress. Now for the accessories, just a necklace but a brilliant one. She found just the one at a little boutique down the street from the bridal shop. It fit like a choker style with a long pendant hanging from it, covered in diamonds and as dazzling as her dress. Everyone loved the selection she had made. The dress would be ready in a few days, with the alterations that were needed. Two weeks and counting, and her life would be as she had always wanted. Happy and married to the man she loved more than life itself. 

In the days to follow, the house was transformed into the home they had envisioned. Ready for her to move in and for them to start their family. She had packed all of her personal belongings and he was moving it over to the new house, with the wedding the next day, the farm was buzzing with activities. Her mother and her sister had turned the garden into a fantasy land of flowers and lights. With the ceremony being in the evening, they made sure it was glowing like the brightest moon ever. She was in awe of the beauty they had created in this already magical place. Mihriban had opened her whole world to them, welcoming them into her life, loving Can as if he was her own child. She missed Aziz with all of her heart, and she hoped he would return to her one day and see the happiness of his son had found. All of this was to keep the two most precious people in her life, near to her.

Can chose to wear the tuxedo he had worn the first night he met her, actually when he met her smell and tasted her lips the first time. That night that turned his world upside down, changing him forever, and bringing him to this time in his life of pure and everlasting happiness. His father had been overjoyed to learn that he had regained his memory, and he had rejoined the love of his life. He had told his son he wasn’t sure if he could make the wedding, but he knew he wouldn’t miss it for the world. He would surprise him and arrive in time to watch his lion of a son conquer his challenges of life and reign again as the king of his heart. But he too was anxious to see the lovely woman that remained in his heart. His travels hadn’t erased her memory from him, so maybe it was time to follow his sons lead, except his fate and love her fully and without reservations. That is if she would have him.

Sanem’s room was full of excited women, giggling and hurrying about to get her ready. She was breathtakingly beautiful in her dress of twinkling specks of light. She felt wonderful and special, and so ready for what was next. Deren came bounding in the room, ” Sanem, guess who just came in, Azizbey, he came.” You should have seen the look on Can’s face.”. Sanem was so shocked but happy for Can, she knew he wanted him there so much. There was a knock on at the door, ” Sanem, May I come in, ” She recognized the voice as Can’s fathers, ” I would love to see you before the ceremony.”  She threw open the door and welcomed him with open arms. Sanem hugged him with love, trying not to cry and ruin her makeup. ” I’m so happy you came Azizbey,” Her heart beaming with happiness, ” I know, Can was excited and surprised.” He stepped back, ” Sanem I’m no longer Azizbey, I’m your dad so please feel comfortable enough with that.” She smiled, ” Absolutely, you’re right, daddyAziz.”  He smiled, she was a vision of beauty, and he was so proud of them both. He congratulated her, kissed her proudly on both cheeks and left to take his seat for the ceremony…. It was time, she heard their music, her dad appeared and took her arm. They glided out and down the hall to the open door, the first sight of the garden took her breath, the lights hung high in the trees with just enough light for them to barely see. With an arbor wrapped in light that lit the area where the Union table had been placed and they would pledge their love in front of god. It truly was a magical place.  

Then her eyes met with his…. he was a wonderful and handsome man. Looking at only her, with his eyes full of tears. Everything and everyone disappeared, it was just them, with their hearts wrapped up in their deepest love for each other.

Chapter 7

His eyes could not move from her, as she was led across the garden to meet him. There were gasps of amazement as her father presented her to Can. Her beauty had surpassed what anyone had thought possible, even Can. She glowed with love for him, as she took his hand, he smiled that smile of confidence, letting her know he only had eyes for her. What a devastatingly gorgeous couple they made. They were truly a prince with his princess, and their friends and family knew they were witnessing a dream come true. The ceremony was filled with their own words, spoken from the heart, not rehearsed. Promises and devotion for their love were made openly and honestly, and it all was sealed with a kiss from a man to his wife. Their guests applauded them as they were presented to the world as, ” Mr. and Mrs. Can Divit. What a fairy tale night, as they greeted their guests and excepted their congratulations and well wishes. 

After a long while in the greeting line and posing for pictures that would surely end up in the paper the next day. Can was always followed and talked about in the entertainment world, as one of the most famous and eligible bachelors in Turkey. So, the news of his marriage would cause quite a stir. The celebration lasted well into the night, lots of music compliments of CeyCey, the resident DJ of the group. The cake was a sight to behold, four layers of deliciousness, and topped with a large arrangement of flowers. The couple longed for the festivities to end so they could begin their lives as husband and wife. Can held his wife tight as they danced the last dance to end the evening, his heart full, so full it may burst. She circled him with her arms, and he bent down to nestle his face deeply into her neck, sucking in the aroma that will forever light his soul and fill his heart with love. It didn’t seem real, she was his, and no one could ever take her from him, he would protect and love her for the rest of his life and beyond if possible. 

As the guests left, Aziz and Mihriban retired to her house, with a lot to talk about. Can led her up the walkway to their home, she was full of anticipation, not knowing what to expect. His look of love for her seemed to calm her a bit, but the fear of inexperience still rumbled inside her. What if she couldn’t do what he wanted, or she didn’t know how, she would be so embarrassed. But he knew she was pure and had saved herself for him, even if she didn’t know it would be Can Divit, he did. This story was written years ago, that’s why he had never found a person that he felt he wanted to spend his life with until now. Even Polen was a woman he couldn’t or wouldn’t commit to, because she never held his heart. 

They stopped at her door, bending down to kiss her, trying to calm her fears, he looked into her eyes, ” My love, my wife, please don’t worry. Everything will be fine.” He whispered gently in her ear. ” We have the rest of our lives to love each other, just let it be natural and good.” She smiled and took his hand as they opened the door and entered their home and the happiness of the rest of their lives. He took her down the hall to the bedroom, with his eyes never swaying away, but holding firm with hers, he took control. She allowed him that, to show and teach her about the joy of loving and being loved. The ecstasy of it all hypnotized her, as he removed his shirt and then her dress, then his trousers, and then her bra. This ritual continued until they were both standing before each other, relishing their view of one another. His touch electrified her, as a shiver ran down her back, her breath was uneven and swallow. Those eyes that melted her, now charged her with desire and a thousand butterflies took flight inside her stomach. She placed her hand on his chest, he was soft, yet hard as a rock, she slid her hand down his abs and he sucked in a breath and held it. She searched him, gazing at this man, so beautiful and hers. Her other hand joined in, rubbing the albatross tattoo, and catching his eyes with hers. A question of doubt in her eye was met with a gaze from his eyes saying, that she was doing fine. ” Sanem, just touch and explore, I’m here and I’m yours.” His hand rubbed her shoulders and moved down her back to her hips, and to her surprise there was a new sensation that exploded within her. His lips searched hers with hunger, he pulled her in molding her body to his, the power of it made her jerk and he quickly released her, ” Are you ok, Sanem I’m sorry.” He moaned. Her mouth was open with surprise, the feeling of his body pressed against hers, it had set her on fire. “Yes, I think I’m fine, just so many things I can’t explain, but don’t stop.” I want to feel it all.” She begged. He removed the clips that held her hair and let it fall, it wrapped around her shoulders and glided down her back. He pulled the band that held his and it fall loose and free, just the way she liked it. He ran his fingers through her hair, feeling it, touching it, it felt like silk in his hands. He scooped her up into his arms and laid her on the bed, her beauty blinded him or was it the tears, he wasn’t sure. ” Sanem, we can go slow until you are comfortable, I will let you lead the way.” He spoke softly as he stroked her body. He slid in beside her, and their kiss sent them on the journey of desire and a love that lasted the rest of the night.

She was the first to open her eyes, laying on her side she felt a huge body of heat tucked in tight behind her. Her mind flashed, she smiled, ” My husband, she thought, ” he’s my husband.” The feeling of giddiness filled heart. And I’m his wife.” Totally and fully, I’m his.” All this was running through her mind in an instant. Her memory was vivid and with her photographic memory, it left nothing to the imagination, it even made her blush. She squirmed out of his grip, and made her way to the bathroom, she looked in the mirror to see if she looked different…. she knew she felt different. She was fulfilled and content with being Mrs .Can Divit, her a girl from a small neighborhood district in historic Istanbul. She smiled at herself, what had she done to be allowed this happiness. She hoped it would never end….

She heard him from the other room, ” Sanem, bebek are you ok.” He called. ” Yes, my love I’m fine.” She answered. ” Good, come back to bed, we don’t have to go anywhere today, but right here.” I’m waiting” He pleaded.

She took one last look at herself in the mirror, and smiled, with that feeling of being his wife burning deep inside her, ” Yes my love, I’m coming, are you ready?”

Chapter 8

It was late in the afternoon, Sanem was curled up in a ball, with her her hair spread across the pillow. Her breathing was steady and deep, letting him know she was in a sound sleep. The sight of her aroused him, but he knew they needed to eat and drink something. They hadn’t eaten since the the wedding, 18hrs ago. He had fix a tray of fruit and cheese for them, and made tea. He was starved and he knew she had to be. He set the tray on the bed, ” Sanem, my love, Sanem, wake up.” He whispered in her ear. He let his beard tickle her ear and she swatted at it and shifted around in the bed, moving the sheet, revealing her body. Her skin, bronzed and glowing, made him want to forget about the food and crawl back in bed with. But he dismissed that thought and stuck with his original plan. Oh, the willpower he was going to need, it would test him, but she needed the rest. He kissed her shoulder, traced his fingers down her arm and circling back up her stomach, they made a stop as he arrived at her breasts. He could see the goosebumps rise on her skin and she moaned his name. That’s all it took, the food could wait a while longer, he thought, as he threw back the sheet and rubbed his pulsing body against her, she turned to meet him, searching for him, hungry just for him. 

He woke startled, sat straight up in bed. It was dark out, ” What time is it anyway,” he tried to think. He was confused, searching the bed for Sanem, he switched on the lamp. His phone said 12:34, ” My god, we have slept for hours.” He thought. He saw the light in the bathroom, and then heard the shower. He started to calm down and regain his composure a bit. The water turned off and she entered the room wrapped in a towel, ” Well, there you are, my love.” She spouted. ” I thought you would never wake up.”  He smiled, still a bit groggy, ” How long have you been up,” He asked. ” About 2hrs I guess, oh, sorry I ate all the fruit and cheese, but I’ll fix you more.” She said, leaning over to kiss his lips. He reached for her to bring her close to him, but she put up her hands, ” Can, no bebek, you need to eat something, here drink this tea while I go get some more fruit and cheese. She jumped up, striding off towards the kitchen, ” Do you know it’s been 26 hrs since you have eaten anything, you have to be starving.” She stated. ” Oh, and your dad texted you too, it looks like he’s going to be staying here for a while.” She yelled from the kitchen. Can smiled, glad to hear that bit of news. She brought the tray full of fruit and some vegetables, a little cheese and some more tea. She crawled up in the middle of the bed, chatting away, as she usually did, while he listened intently, munching on the tray of food. His mind roaming with thoughts of his new life, how full and content he was at this very minute, he could stay like this forever. With the food making him feel awake and her voice making him content, he reached for her, she stopped her chatter, returning the gesture and letting herself surrender again to the man that would be her whole world.

The daylight was streaming in around the curtains when he opened his eyes. Looking around, again Sanem was gone from the bed, his phone said 10:02, ” Wow, I have to get up, I think I going to die if I don’t. Her towel was still crumpled up, under the covers of the bed. His memory of the last few hours made him smile and feel a bit wicked. His wife was a quick learner, that’s all he had to say. He climbed out of bed and headed for the shower. He needed it bad, if just to soothe his aching muscles. The shower made him feel human again, sliding on a pair of shorts, he went out to find his wife. She was lounging by the pool, talking on her phone, ” Bedir, I really don’t want to go right now,” she stated. ” We just got married,..well ok Bedir 2 days ago, but still I’m not going to leave now.” She spouted. ” I don’t care if it’s just for a week, I’m not going.” She said with defiance. He listened at the door, ” That’s my girl,” he thought proudly. ” Show them who’s boss.”  Sanem argued, ” But why now, Bedir, Rome’s isn’t going anywhere, can’t we schedule it for later.” Can had a sneaky feeling she was going to give in and wasn’t happy about it. He walked out sitting down beside her, she smiled and waved at him, and then made a face at the phone, mocking what Bedir was saying to her. It made Can laugh, but the sad feeling of her leaving was creeping in, making him regret the fact she was a famous writer. 

Nothing had been settled when she hung up the phone, but he could see the writing on the wall. ” So, Rome is it,” he asked. She wrinkled her nose, and shook her head, ” Don’t worry about it, I’m not going.” She told him. ” Do you feel better, are you hungry.” Let’s eat something.” She chirped. Trying to change the subject. “ Don’t get excited, don’t argue, everything will be fine.” He pleaded with his mind. The rest of the day was consumed with cooking and eating, before they fell back in bed, full and ready to fill the night with pure and raw desire of each other.  

The plans for Rome seemed to be going along, even with the denial by Sanem of going. It had been a week since the wedding and they hadn’t been away from their home for a minute. This place soothed them, Lulling them into a sense of peacefulness. ” How could she leave here now, leave him,” she wondered. They were riding the wave of sensual desire and she wasn’t about to to rock the boat. But her book was gaining popularity and her presence was being demanded. Maybe just this one last trip, then she would call it quits. Her nice quiet life here, was very appealing, and there was no way she wanted to cause any problems between her and Can. 

Can knew she had decided to go on the promotional visit, but the thought of it hurt him down in his gut. He couldn’t let her go not even for a week, he would go crazy. ” What if I went too,” He asked himself. ” It’s just a week, they could do without him at the agency, they were technically still on their honeymoon.” He reasoned with his mind. “This is a great idea, a honeymoon in Rome, what more could you want.”  Now….to surprise her with it.” 

” What Can, you want to come with me, are you sure.” She shouted. ” That would be great, we can finish our honeymoon in Rome.” She said with a wink. He circled her body with his arms, picking her up and starting off to the bedroom. She giggled and struggled to get away……

He tossed her on the bed, climbing on top her with that look of raging desire in his eyes. “Our honeymoon will never be finished.” He growled.

Chapter 9

She stumbled in the door, tossing her tote bag in the chair and collapsing on the sofa. Can rolled in the two suitcases, eager to follow his wife, and lounge beside her on the sofa. ” Can, it’s so good to be home,” she wailed. I missed it so.” Can appeared from the bedroom after depositing the suitcases, ” Yes, I agree…. so, let’s agree not to make any more long trips for a while,” he stated, picking her up and sitting her in his lap. ” But this trip, I do say, was a trip to remember,” I won’t be able to think of Rome the same way again.” He teased nibbling on her neck, his favorite spot. She laughed, ” But Can, we never left our suite but for the book signing, so how can you say that.” ” I know, wasn’t it great, my love.” He whispered. She agreed and returned for his affection. The ringing of the Can’s phone interrupted them as always. Can sighed and looked at his phone, ” Emre, what’s up,” clearly upset with the distraction. Emre laughed, “Abi, are you home? ” Yes, just minutes ago, why” Can asked, but really did not want to know the answer. Emre sighed, ” Well it’s about time, your week turned into 3 weeks and things are a little crazy here.” His voice sounding urgent. ” Are you coming in today, I could really use the help.” Emre pleaded. Can agreed, looking at his gorgeous wife with regret.  Can hung up the phone and said, ” Looks like I have to go into the office, some kind of crisis going on.” He shook his head in annoyance. Sanem clung to his neck, softly kissing it, ” No, don’t go, we just walked in the door.” She pleaded. His resistance was low, and his desire was high, so would a couple of hours really make that much difference he wonder, as he carried her to their bedroom. 

Can impatiently answered his phone again, ” Emre, what, I’m on my way right now.” He shouted at the phone. ” God Can, it’s been three hours I thought you would have been here by now.” Emre demanded. ” Well, my dear brother you thought wrong, I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” He told him, regretting the fact he had told him he would come in. His temper was short, what could be so important that he had to come today. The agency was for sure, the last thing on his mind right now. Even three weeks in Rome, alone, wasn’t enough to satisfy his need for her. She was his addiction, plain and simple. As he walked down the hall towards his office, he thought, ” Well the walls are still standing, we still have employees, things seem to be in order, what was so important.” ” Emre, I’m here,” He yelled through the glass at his brother in the next office over. ” What is the emergency.” He demanded. Emre came, giving his brother a hug, ” How was Rome, and your honeymoon.” Can smiled, ” Honeymoon was great, but Rome I couldn’t tell you anything about.” He looked at Emre giving him a wink. Emre shook his head and clapped his hands, ” I got It, Abi.” Well welcome back anyway.” He laughed. 

They both sat to go over the problem with the client. ” It seems Womanart is not pleased with the new campaign video, they want to revise it a bit.” Emre explained. ” How so,” Can shook his head, thinking everything had been solved with the campaign. “Here, I’ve got all the notes from the last meeting with Aicha.” And she is adamant about you taking charge of it and running the campaign.” Emre explained. Can leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, ” What is wrong with these women, they just don’t take no for an answer.”  Can sighed, thinking of the trouble she had already caused him. ” Well, I’m not going to do it, they will continue with Deren, and work with the same team as always, or they can find another ad agency.”  Emre, I’m tired of fighting with them.”  He demanded. Emre agreed, knowing how hard it was for Can to constantly fight off this woman. ” Emre will you take care of it for me, I’ve already told her once, but she’s not listening.” Can begged. Emre assured him he would. Can spent the rest of the afternoon going over files and the updated campaigns. 

Sanem unpacked, sorting the clothes and starting the laundry. She wanted to have it all done by the time Can came home, and at least have the salad made for their dinner. Can, of course, was the cook of the family, so he would make the rest after he got home. Bedir had emailed her the details of the selling of the book, it was going very well and there was talk of a recopy of it also. Soon it would be offered to almost every major country, worldwide. It was unbelievable to her, that hers and Can’s life would arouse so much curiosity. Their life now was the best, and she planned to keep this one all to herself. She hadn’t considered writing another book if possible she would just work at the agency part time, maybe the boss would let her do that, she thought with a smile on her face. She finished the laundry and made the salad, slipped on her bathing suit and lounged by the pool with her favorite book. It wasn’t long before she was sound asleep. Can was later getting home than he wanted to be, he had missed her more than he thought. The sight of her, sleeping with the book open and lying across the chest was to adorable. He gently picked her up and carried her to the sofa. She stirred slightly but didn’t wake completely, he kissed her cheek and went to the kitchen to start dinner. Pasta seemed to be on the menu, and with salad already made, he would have dinner made quickly. 

His phone rang and he jumped to grab it before it woke her.  Can looked at his phone.  Aicha, what does she want, he thought and considered not answering, but thought he should. ” Hello, Aicha, what can I do for you.” His asked, voice stern and business like.  “Can, we need to talk, I think you’re being a bit rash with your decision,” the sound of her voice making him cringe. Immediately his anger grew, ” Aicha, that is my decision, you do with it what you want.” He declared. ” You’re more than welcome to hire another ad agency, that is absolutely your privilege.” He sighed. Aicha wasn’t going away easily, but he was determined to sever ties with her and Womanart. He declined her offer to meet, saying there was nothing to talk about, she knew her options. The call was cut short with him hanging up, while she was in mid-sentence. Why had her uncle handed the advertising part of the company over to her, she worked without a business mind, it would cause them to lose the company. Before the pasta was even done, Can received a call from Aicha’s uncle, upset with the proposal that Can had made. It looked like Fikri Harika would be losing their top customer, but at least they would be keeping their dignity. 

He wouldn’t let this effect their life, Sanem was more important than 100 top customers….

He bent down to kiss her awake, she opened her eyes, and smiled. ” You’re home, my love.”

“Yes, I’m here.” His eyes taking her all in. This is all that matters to me.

Chapter 10

6 months later: 

Can was lying flat on his back, arms spread out, trying to catch his breath. Covered in a film of sweat, with nothing but a sheet draped over him. Sanem was talking to him from the kitchen, ” Can do you want some ice cream, it’s chocolate, your favorite, we don’t have time to cook any lunch now….and you know why. He smiled, “Yes Sanem, I would love some ice cream, and I do know why, and I have no regrets.” He yelled. ” Do you want whipped cream on it? She yelled back. ” That’s good,” His head still in a fog from their mid-day romp. She walked in the bedroom in only his white t-shirt on, and two bowls of ice cream. She crawled up in the middle of the bed, handed him his bowl, ” You know, I really like these long lunch breaks we’ve been taking.”  She teased. Pinching at his upper thigh with her toes. She gave him one of her sideways looks saying, “Will we always hide out for lunches like this, or will you get tired of me in a few more months.” She questioned with a smile. Can set his bowl down, threw back the sheet and bounded across the bed at her, making her scream with delight. ” I’ll never in a million years, get tired of you, never.” He growled at her. She was trying not to dump her ice cream and trying to keep him from getting things started again. 

Thirty minutes later, they are finally getting dressed to head back to the agency. Sanem suddenly sat down on the end of the bed, ” Wow, that ice cream isn’t making my stomach feel very good. ” She snarled, holding her stomach.  ” What, do you feel ok.”  Can turned and looked at her, “Sanem, are you ok, you look pale.” She laid back on the bed and Can set down beside her grabbing her hand. That was her mistake, she had no sooner laid back, until it felt like everything inside was coming up, and it did. Can was pacing back and forth behind her as she hung on to the toilet, ridding herself of everything she had eaten for days. After a good long time, she was able to stand and wash her face, Can held her hair back as she splashed the cold water on her face, and neck. ” That’s it Sanem, you’re not going back to the office today, just go back to bed.” He demanded. She shook her head, ” No, I’m fine now, it was just that ice cream, I should have eaten something solid. “I’m fine. She reassured him. The lightheaded feeling was still lingering, but she wasn’t telling Can. 

She tried to act normal as they drove back to the office, but the motion of the car ride was playing havoc on her again. They had only taken a three-hour lunch, for the third time this week, so she knew they needed to get back to work quickly. Sanem walked into her office, searching for her chair, swallowing hard to keep the inevitable from happening. Leila stuck her head in the door, ” Sanem, you must stop doing this, three hours, really.” She laughed. But Sanem didn’t laugh, she just laid her head on the desk. Her sister took a serious look at her, ” Sanem, are you ok, you look almost green.” She took her hand and patted it and felt of her forehead for a fever. Sanem waved her away, just a touch was making her queasy, and dizzy. Within a minute she was headed back to the restroom, and there she stayed for twenty minutes. Leila ran to get Can, pulling him from a call with a new client. ” Can, she been in there throwing up for a good while now, I think she has a stomach bug or food poisoning or something. Can busted in the door, seeing her sitting on the floor, trying to catch her breath. ” Sanem, come on your going to the hospital, your white as a sheet.” He yelled. 

She waved at him, motioning to him she needed water. Leila ran to get a bottled water for her. Can sat down on the floor beside her cradling her in his arms. ” Sanem this isn’t just the ice cream, we’re going to the hospital, come on.” He ordered. She surrendered and stood to leave, but the dizziness waved over her body, making her collapse against Can. He immediately scooped her up in his arms and headed to his car, with Leila in tow. Everyone in the office was staring in disbelief. Deren yelled to Leila to let them know what has going on. Luckily the hospital wasn’t too far from the agency. The fresh air made her feel better, but the nausea just would not go away. Can was a wreck, stroking her hair and rubbing her hand, and trying to drive. ” Can, I’m fine, it’s ok. She assured him. ” No, you’re not ok, and you’re going to the hospital. No discussion.” His voice quivering from nerves. She wouldn’t fight with him about it, she knew something wasn’t right. He got her inside just in time for her to run for the bathroom again.

 The nurse got her settled in a bed, with Can sitting on the edge holding her hand. She was beginning to feel a bit better, but Can was cornering every nurse and doctor that came by, demanding they look at her. Finally, the doctor came, doing his regular exam, and asking a lot of questions. Can was ordered outside to the hall, so they could get the answers from just one person. Leila tried to calm him, but that was easier said than done. Blood work was ordered and now it was just a waiting game. They couldn’t rule out anything, until the blood work came back.  With the lab back up a bit, it took over an hour to get results. Sanem was feeling almost back to normal, with the exception of being so hungry she thought she would die. For her comfort they brought her some crackers to munch on. Can paced the whole time, back and forth, making Sanem a nervous wreck. ” Can, please sit down, you are making me dizzy again, they be her soon.” She motioned for him to sit on the bed. Emre had called Leila for an update so he could calm the office down, just as the doctor came in. Leila was trying to get off the phone with Emre, as the doctor talked to Can. ” Well Mrs.Divit, we have your results, and there doesn’t seem to be any sign of any abnormalities, and we ruled out a stomach bug, and food poisoning.” He told them. Can put his hands on his hips, ” Doctor, there’s got to be something, she was deathly sick and dizzy, you need to run the tests again.” He demanded. ” You can’t tell me there’s nothing that caused this.” The doctor smiled, ” No I can’t tell you that, but what I can tell you is, Mrs. Divit you are approximately 6 weeks pregnant. ” So, this type of thing will probably be happening again.” He stated. 

Can looked at Sanem with eyes wide in shock, Leila put her hands over her mouth to muffle her scream. ” Excuse me doctor, what did you say.” Sanem stuttered. “Did you say pregnant, like with a baby.” She asked in amazement. Can sat, still staring off into space. ” A baby are you sure,” He mouthed, barely able to speak. ” Yes Mr. Divit, I’m sure.” The test was positive.” 

He grabbed her hand, laid his head down and the tears came, flowing like water. Sanem smiled, that had never occurred to her, but suddenly it made perfect sense. She lifted his face to hers, kissing his cheeks as the tears ran. ” Can, you’re going to be a daddy, I can hardly believe it. 

“Sanem, my love, you are perfect and beautiful, and I love you more than I thought possible.”

Chapter 11

The ride back to the agency was quiet, but if smiles could talk, there would be a constant chatter. Leila has the only one that spoke on the way back to the office, ” Sanem do you realize what is happening,” She chattered. ” A baby, oh I just can’t wait, mom is going to just die.” She clapped her hands together. Both Can and Sanem would steal a look or two at each other, with a smile beaming from ear to ear. Can was over the moon, a surprise that couldn’t have been any better. He parked and ran around to open the door for Sanem. She laughed, ” Can, I can still open a door you know.” She teased. ” Yes, I’m aware of that, but I just don’t want you to, ok.” He stated with authority. She accepted his help and took his hand as she exited the car. Leila was excited to tell the others, but Sanem wanted to wait a day or two, just until they had both got adjusted to it themselves. ” Leila, don’t tell mom, not just yet, she will go overboard, and want to move in with us to take care of me.” They agreed, to keep it a secret for now. 

Can made her come to his office and lay on the sofa for the rest of the day, so he could watch her, but he ended up on the sofa with her, watching her sleep. Leila checked in on her to see how she was feeling and there they were, hugged up tight together, with Sanem sleeping away. It was the cutest thing ever. The doctor had told them, ” Sleep and lots of proper food, good nutritional food, that was the best medicine for her and the baby.” And Can would make sure of it. His heart was so full of love and happiness right now, it was almost unbearable. His child, a little person made by them, made from love. The sight of her was magical to him, she was giving him the greatest gift possible. He respected her wishes to not tell anyone just yet, but it was going to be pretty hard to do, since he wanted to shout it from the roof top. 

As soon as his last meeting was over, he whisked her off to their house. He made her prop her feet up and not move, while he made dinner. All the fresh vegetables he could find in the kitchen, and beef, sauté to perfection. She watched him scurry about in the kitchen, preparing a virtual feast in no time. There wasn’t anything that man couldn’t do, and she loved him more every minute. What a daddy he was going to make, she was so excited to witness it all. Dinner was done, he made his way to the sofa, with a towel draped over his arm he bowed, ” May I escort you to your table my lady, ” He asked. She smiled and giggled, thinking how cute he was, ” Of course, kind sir.” She replied. He held her arm, helping her up and guiding her into the dining room. ” Can, that’s really not necessary, I can walk.” She says patting him on the arm. He shook his head, ” Absolutely not, I will help you with everything you do from now on.” He spouted. Can had set a beautiful table, complete with flowers in the center, and candles on either side. She gasped when she saw it, ” Sweetheart, it’s perfect, and it’s looks delicious,” she exclaimed. They devoured the meal, like it was the first meal in days. She felt so good, and happy, nothing like what she felt like earlier in the day. He cleaned the kitchen while she got ready for bed. The day has been so eventful, all she wanted was to relax in their bed and read. Can had the same feelings but he was keeping one eye on Sanem at all times.

It was barely daylight as his eyes blinked to open, he felt for Sanem but she wasn’t there. He bolted upright in the bed. ” Sanem bebek, where are you.” He called. Without an answer, he jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom, there she was, hanging onto the toilet, weak and pale. ” Ah, Sanem my love,… again,” he said. He sat down behind her, rubbing her back as she looked around, ” Good Morning, my love” she said with a faint smile. He pulled her hair back, and hugged up against her, stroking her arm to calm her, but feeling guilty for what she was having to go through. They stayed like that until she had the strength to stand, then he led her back to bed. ” What can I get you, some water or something.” He pleaded.  She thought for a minute, ” Yes, let’s have tea, you know that peppermint tea we have, and some crackers, I think that will be good.” She said smiling at him with confidence. He hurried out to brew her tea, hoping it would help her. He was back in a minute with her order, but she had snuggled down in the covers and was sound asleep. This feeling of guilt of putting her in this situation, was overwhelming. 

He laid there watching her sleep, worshiping her beauty and bravery. Why did she have to go through this just to bring them a gift of joy and love. He knew what the doctor had told them, each woman was different on the level of discomfort that was endured during pregnancy, but she seemed to have maxed out those symptoms. He moved as close to her as he could without waking her and he too fell back into a peaceful sleep. He woke with her kissing him on the forehead, ” Can, sweetheart, it’s time to get up.” Come on, we’ll be late for work.” She whispered. He opened his eyes and smiled, ” Do you feel better, no more sickness. ” He questioned. She seemed to think for a second, then said, ” No, nothing right now, but that could change, it seems to just come and go quickly.” She determined with a little doubt. He sat up in bed, ” Let me get a quick shower and I’ll fix you some breakfast, maybe cereal and fruit, something light.” He noticed she had drunk the tea and some of the crackers were gone. ” Did the tea do some good,” He cupped her face with his hand and gliding his thumb along her cheek. He was so thoughtful, and caring, just what she needed right now, she smiled, ” It was great, yes breakfast sounds great, but let me help.” She insisted. He sighed, ” Ok, but let’s shower first, I’ll help you, so you won’t fall or something.” Reaching for her with a gleam in his eye. She squinted her eyes at him, ” Oh, just to help me, is that right.” Ok, no other reason comes to mind.” Her eyes giving him that doubting look. He tilted his head, ” Well, maybe but I won’t be doing anything to hurt you.” He whispered with eyes on fire with desire for her. “Well, it’s that look that got what got us in the situation we’re in now, do you remember.” She told him. He shifted his eyes to her stomach, ” Yes, I remember everything, with excitement.” He whispered to her, sending her own desire soaring. 

” Well ok then, just so you remember exactly what to do, and how to do it, daddy, I guess I’ll let you help me.” She spoke with barely a sound, just a breath that brushed his lips.

Chapter 12

Sanem and Can planned to tell their news to the rest of the family over the weekend. They would invite them all to their house, for a dinner celebration. Can was so glad his dad had decided to stay, him and Mihriban seemed to be mending their relationship and moving forward. The next few days would be filled with excitement, he was ready for everyone to know about their new addition. The agency was struggling a bit, trying to regain some financial status since Womanart decided to part ways with them. Can and Emre both felt it was worth the loss just to be rid of Aicha. Can wasn’t about to risk Sanem being upset over a woman harboring unwanted attentions for him. There were several companys that had shown some interest in the agency, he had no doubt they would land something soon.

The morning sickness had subsided slightly, letting Sanem have a breather. But the tiredness was still there, causing her to make her workdays short and head for Can’s office for a nap. He didn’t mind at all, in fact it made him feel better seeing her there. The rest of the week was spent making her comfortable, making sure she ate right and got plenty if sleep. Everyone in the office was a buzz about what was going on, but first they would tell the rest of the family, then their friends in the office. Even Emre hadn’t a glue of what was going on, but he knew his brother was really worried about Sanem, catering to her every need. 

Saturday had finally arrived, and the family was coming for an early dinner, and they would reveal their surprise. He had planned a great meal, fresh vegetables and pasta dish, which was supposed to be very good for Sanem. Friday night had proven to be a little more exciting than even he had planned, but Sanem had taken the lead with things and who was he to complain, his very sexy little wife had a mind if her own. He woke to Sanem having the worst case of morning sickness she had endured all week. He helped her all he could, getting her in the shower, brewing her some tea and bringing her biscuits to nibble on. She was so upset and crying, ” Why today, of all days.” She moaned. ” I wanted to help you with all the preparation for this evening, but now I feel weak and tired.”  He got her all situated in the bed, with her tray of snacks and the tv on. “Don’t you worry about anything I’ve got it all covered. He announced, ” This is Can Divit you’re talking to, and the father of your little bundle of joy, so there’s nothing to fear.” He demanded. 

She loved him more every second, if that was even possible, he was the best husband ever. But she still wanted to be in there working alongside him, cooking and dancing to the music he had playing, this was a special day and she needed to be a part of it. Most of the dinner was prepared and on hold in the oven by 2:00. The family wouldn’t be there until 5:00 so he had time to snuggle up with Sanem for a while and relax. With the table set and decorated he took off his apron and grabbed them a fresh brewed cup of tea and went to the bedroom. He stopped at the door and smiled, she looked like an angel, hugging his pillow and sound asleep. He crawled in beside her and got comfortable, her smell relaxed him like a sedative, and in no time, he was asleep also. 

Sanem was shaking him, ” Can wake up it’s almost 5:00. They will be here soon.” She hurried around to the closet, grabbing out the outfit she had chosen to wear for the evening. She was glad she had planned it out ahead of time. Can was trying to shake the grogginess from his head and make sense of what she was saying. ” Can, our family will be here soon, come on get up, is the food ready.” She quizzed. He finally came to his senses and bounded out of bed, ” Ah, oh, yes it’s ready and in the oven, I just need to cook the pasta.” He sprinted to the kitchen and put the water on to boil, and back to the bedroom to get dressed himself. ” Oh wow, I guess I fell asleep after I snuggled up to you.” He stated, ” Do you feel ok,” he asked her. She stretched up on her tiptoes and kissed his lips, ” Yes, I feel great, now stop worrying about me.” He quickly pulled her back to him. ” Let’s try that again, Mrs. Divit, I think I missed something.” He pressed his lips to hers, firmly but with a gentleness that made her weak inside. ” Can, don’t get me started, if you can’t finish the job, that’s not nice.” She purred against his searching lips. “Sanem, I will be more than happy to finish the job, just lock the door and hang out the “Do Not Disturb” sign, it’s that simple.” His eyes danced with happiness and desire, as he stroked her hair. She smiled, “Just hold that thought, my husband, until after our guest leave, then the rest of the weekend is ours.” She said with a wink. She felt the hardness of him pushing against the stomach, she knew it was almost too late, ” Go take a cold shower, or you will have to wear a longer shirt, and I’ll take care of the pasta.” She laughed. He watched her walk out leaving him there frustrated and wanting more. 

He did just that, barely getting ready before their guests arrived. He hated seeing her having to do any of the cooking, but she was determined to help. His dad and Mihriban were the first to arrive, they were happy to see them and see that their relationship was had blossomed into quite the affair. Sanem’s family was quick to follow, then Emre and Leila. Leila, of course, knew the whole scheme of the dinner party, but had sworn her secrecy to Sanem. Can had outdone himself, as bad as she hated to admit it, Polen had been good for him as far as his learning to cook almost anything. The table was lovely, and the food was delicious, and the company was the best. The excitement was almost impossible to hide. Can and Leila fixed tea and everyone moved out to the outdoor seating area by the pool. The night was perfect for March, a slight chill that was warmed by the fire that Can had started in the fireplace, just the right time to make the best announcement of their life.

Can stood, holding Sanem’s hand as she sat, ” Well I’m sure you are all wondering why we ask you here tonight.” He started. ” There’s just something’s that need to be announced in a grand way, and this is one of those things.” His face beaming with pride. ” We are very happy, and we hope you all will be also, to be welcoming a small bundle of Divit joy, in about 7 months, give or take a few days.” He shouted. The air was silent for a second, then all erupted into a wild rush of excitement, Mevkibe was in tears and Nihat was crying and clapping his hands. Aziz and Mihriban embraced Can and Sanem, laughing and shouting their joy. Of course, Mevkibe immediately hovered over Sanem, asking if she was feeling ok, and telling her all the do’s and don’ts of pregnancy. Emre hugged his brother, slapping him on the back, ” Now I understand why you were so protective over her. He spouted.” I’m happy for you, and Sanem.” You’ll be a perfect dad; I just know it.”  Watching the happiness spread across his brother’s face. 

Sanem watched her family celebrate their happiness and engulf themselves in their love….

Her heart was full, her life was perfect, nothing could ever go wrong again.

Chapter 13

The goodbyes were endless as their families started to leave. Mevkibe came back to hug them both at least three times before making it to the taxi. Aziz and Mihriban were beaming with pride and he embraced his son with love, knowing this feeling would soon be at the center of his heart. How proud he was of his son, and of Sanem, this woman that had saved his son from a life of loneliness and solitude. She had truly saved his heart, although they had their trials that love sometimes brought, they struggled to remain together. Now they would start a family, and that is where the truest and deepest love lives. The night had been perfect, and the best part of it hadn’t even came yet. She wouldn’t let him forget her promise, the rest of the weekend was theirs. Hours later she laid in his arms, feeling completely satisfied as only he could make her, ready to learn all there was to know about motherhood. She smiled, she already had a name picked out, and knew Can would love It. She let his steady breathing lull her to sleep and to the dreams of her perfect life.

Sunday was their day of rest and relaxation, first he went for a run, and then made her breakfast. She had been sleeping longer and longer in the mornings, he hated to wake her, but she needed to eat. Setting the tray on the nightstand, he sat down on the edge of the bed, moving her hair from her face. ” Sanem, wake up I brought you breakfast.” He kissed her cheek, ” Come on bebek, little Divit needs to eat.”  She smiled opening her eyes to see his loving eyes looking back at her. ” Good morning love,” she whispered. ” What’s for breakfast.” She asked. “Tea and cereal to start, do you want some eggs, I’ll fix them if you do.” He asked. She raised up looking at the clock, ” My god Can, it’s 10:00, why did you let me sleep so late.” She screeched. He grabbed the tray and set it on the bed, ” Here, start eating, I fix those eggs.” And I let you sleep because you both need it.” He yelled as he walked to the kitchen. ” Do you want fried or scrambled, and anyway there’s nothing else you need to do today.” Bebek, fried or scrambled.” She sighed, ” I’ll take scrambled, and some toast too.” But I feel bad when you are up doing things and I’m sleeping, i want to be with you.” She yelled back to him. He returned to the bedroom with her plate of eggs and toast. “But sweetheart, you have to rest,” He said eating some of the eggs from her plate, ” It’s the most important thing right now for both of you. He scooped up some eggs on the fork and started towards her mouth, ” Here, open, they’re really good.” She opened, gobbling up the eggs from the fork. ” Hmmm, those are delicious, what did you do them.” She asked, licking her lips. He stopped short, ” Sanem stop, don’t please. She looked at him puzzled, “What, what did I do, I just said the eggs were good.” He closed his eyes, ” Nothing my love, you didn’t do anything, here take another bite.” He swallowed hard and tried to think of something else. “Just the tiniest things like licking her lips can set me off, ” He thought, ” I’m hopeless.”  She finished off the eggs and toast with no problem and leaned back with the look of contentment on her face. 

Can took the dishes and started to clean up, and Sanem jumped in the shower, ready to join him for the rest of the day. Sanem’s phone rang, and ran to answer it, ” Good morning Mom Mevkibe, how are you?” He asked. ” Can, my son I’m fine, how’s Sanem, did she get enough rest.” He smiled thinking, “and so it begins,” Yes, she’s fine, she slept until 10:00, and I fixed her breakfast and now she in the shower.” All is well.” He explained.  Her mother was the finest woman he had ever known, but also the most controlling, in some situation. But this one might prove to be a challenge; it will definitely test his patience. But he loved her parents and wouldn’t have it any other way. Mevkibe, satisfied that Sanem was well and fine said, ” My son, I know you will take good care of her, I’m not worried.” Tell her that I called, and we’ll talk later.” She spoke. The rest of the day was lazy, sitting by the pool, reading and napping. The best time they had had for a while. There didn’t seem to be any stress, and he refused to let there be. Calm was the word of the day.

Her sickness didn’t seem to have any rhyme or reason to, all of a sudden it was just…there. Their beautiful day was cut short by the unexpected arrival of the dreaded nausea and vomiting. Of course, Can never let her go through it alone, he sat behind her in the floor, stroking her back, holding back her hair, anything that would let her know he was there. As quick as it came, it was over. But the weak and tired feeling lasted longer each time, so he put her back to bed, and climbed in beside her, willing her to be better with all his heart. They both slept straight through till the morning. It was very early when Can slipped out of the bed and went for his run. He really wanted to visit the gym, but he didn’t want to leave her alone that long, so just a run and some push-ups would have to do. He headed back from his run to fix a good breakfast for them and then time for work. Sanem was up and in the shower when he made it back, he took his water and slipped into the bathroom, standing there watching her shower and sipping his water, he was mesmerized with her beauty. There was no other word for her but splendid, she was perfection indeed. She turned around in the shower to rinse her back when she saw him standing there, she dropped her arms, put one hand on her hip, ” Well are you just going to stand there staring or are you going to join me.” She asks. The invite had barely left her lips until he had ripped off his shorts and tank top and was standing naked and wet, against her. He was so powerful and dynamic; it literally took her breath. ” Good morning, my sweet husband, did you have a good workout.” She whispered. They let the water stream over their bodies, as his hands skimmed her body, feeling softness and slickness of her. ” Yes, but now I want a different kind of workout,” He growled, backing her up against the shower wall. He covered her mouth, tasting her lips, and massaging her body. His hands found her breasts, they seemed fuller and more firm than usual, He thought. He loved it. But the touch sent her body into retreat, ” Stop Can, that hurts,” She yelled, shrinking away from him. He jumped back, ” I’m sorry bebek, what did I do.” He asked concerned. ” I don’t know why, but my breasts are very sore.” She said with a frown. He bent down and kissed her gently, ” I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He whined. She stroked his face, ” I know, it just took me by surprise,” she said. I’ll have to ask the doctor tomorrow at my appointment.” She muttered as she kissed his chest, all over, trying not to miss a single spot.

” What a wonderful way to start my day,” she thought. She could feel his muscles jerking as she slid her hands down his body. ” Oh yes,” she thought, “he’s definitely ready.” He lifted her up, she wrapped her legs around him. 

Could she ever get tired of this…. no not in a million years!!

Chapter 14

This would be her first visit with the OB/GYN, he had been recommended by the emergency room doctor. She had no idea what to expect, but she was excited to find out the due date. Can was going with her, there was no way she could talk him out of it even if she wanted to. He was nervous, twitching about in the waiting room as they waited to be called back. When it was their turn Can bounded back to the room as if he were the one seeing the doctor. All the nurses were quite amused at him, but some were quite taken by him, as is it always in with him. He is like a magnet for women, they always seem to come unhinged around him. Sanem was uncomfortable undressing fully for the doctor, and Can was sent out of the room for the exam, which made her more uncomfortable. Can didn’t like it either, offering to stay back out of the way, if they would let him stay. He was denied that request and ushered out and back to the waiting room. The exam proved to be the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to her. She laid there with her eyes squeezed shut so tight she ended up with a headache. Sanem thought, ” How will I ever get use to this, this is humiliating.” She kept her eyes shut, wishing for it to be over.

Then there was more blood work, and another wait. Then finally they were called back to see the doctor. He had a nice demeanor about him, very genuine and thoughtful. ” Mrs. Divit, as far as I can see, things are very normal, and you are 7 weeks along. The nausea and tiredness may be a problem for a time longer but should end in a few more weeks.” He assured her. Please eat properly and get plenty of rest, that’s key. It can prevent a multitude of problems further down the line.” Mr. Divit, you probably have the most important job of all, and that’s to keep your wife happy, no worrying or sadness.” Can smiled and hugged her up to him. ” Don’t worry Doctor, she will be the happiest pregnant lady around.” You can bet on it.” The doctor asked if she had any questions, ” Yes, my breast have been extremely sore the last few days, is that normal? She asked. ” Yes, it is, just another symptom you have to endure, sorry.” He explained. ” Now you may carry on with your sex life as normal, unless there is bleeding or discomfort, then call me immediately. Sanem blushed slightly looking at Can but Can just had a smile from ear to ear. 

They doctor had calculated the due date as being on or about Nov.6th. Can was elated, it was close to his own birthday, what a present that would be. The doctor expressed that this was only a projection, that these tiny humans had a mind of their own at times. But the longer inside the mother the better for the baby. They were floating on a cloud as they drove to the office. They hadn’t yet told their friends at work about the bundle of joy they had been blessed with, so now was the time to let everyone know. Sanem called her mom, giving her the news of the due date, and letting her know things were fine. Her mother was still anxious and wanted to come stay with them for a while. Can assured her he had it covered, for now anyway, but they would need her help later, he was sure. The news hit the office like a bomb, CeyCey nearly had a panic attack, running around the office yelling, ” I’m going to be an uncle, I’m going to be an uncle, making everyone crazy. Deren was happy for them, she had become a friend to Sanem over the months and had grown to love her and Can had always held a special place in her heart that remain there forever. They all wished them well, and they couldn’t wait for the sound of little feet running around the office. This had been another day that had surpassed their expectations, leaving them beaming with joy.

Can took care of a few things on his desk, Sanem looked over the new account they had acquired, a new line of sunglasses. They were very well done, and the campaign looked like a winner. Deren was going over the text with her when Can walked in, ” Sanem, you’re not supposed to be working, the doctor said rest, remember.” He scolded. She rolled her eyes,” Can this isn’t going to hurt me, I’m just sitting.” She explained. ” No stress, he said, so let’s get ready to head home.” He ordered. She knew this would be a long 7 months, ” He’s going to be worse than my mom.” She feared. She eyed Deren, as they gathered her stuff to go. Deren got the hint and said, ” Can, why don’t we set a schedule for Sanem. Either a few hours a day, or a couple of days a week, that way I will be able to hold out her work for her.” She explained. ” There won’t be anything strenuous or stressful, just a little paperwork.” What do you say?  She pleaded. Can gave in because, for one, he liked having her with him, and for two he could keep an eye one her. So, the schedule was set, Sanem winked and mouthed a kiss to her as he led her out of the office.

They had decided as they drove home, they she would work three days a to start, if it got to be too much, she would cut back. ” Monday, Wednesday and Friday, no more than that.” He ordered. When your home, I’m home, that way I can take care of you. ” Can, that’s not necessary, your dad and Mihriban are right here if anything happens and besides, I’m not an invalid, just pregnant.” She said defiantly. He took her hand and kissed it, “Sanem, I will do nothing but worry if I’m not with you, I just want to take care of you. He knew the look in her eyes when she was determined, and she had that look. ” We’ll try it for a little while and see how it goes, ok.” If I don’t like it then it’s my way.” He bellowed. She smiled leaning over and kissing his lips, which brought a smile to his face. ” You’re going to be hard to control, I can tell.” He eyed her with concern. She smiled,” Can I promise, I won’t do anything I’m not supposed to, ok.”  

She was excited to get back to work, it had only been a few days, but she missed her friends and the excitement of the office. 

They were home early, so Can decided to take his run before dinner. There was a little chill in the air, so she grabbed her blanket and a book, curled up on the sofa to read. She couldn’t keep her mind on her book, the thoughts of her life now had her giddy, ” A baby,” she rubbed her stomach, ” Hi, little one, we are going to get along just fine aren’t we, I can’t wait to meet you.” I love you so much already.” She whispered. 

” And you’re going to have the best daddy that any baby could have.” She wrapped her arms around her waist, giving the baby a hug.

Chapter 15

Sanem was asleep on the sofa, when Can made it back from his run. He quickly showered and started dinner. He was making a mental note of all fruits and vegetables he would need, maybe he could get Mihriban to bring over what she had from the garden and then buy the rest. He had a lot of good recipes that he could make. Mevkibe of course would help him if he needed. With dinner ready, he started trying to wake Sanem, she was had to rouse, but finally he had her up and heading to the table. She was groggy and without an appetite, he tried to make her eat but she only wanted to sleep. After a while he helped her to the bedroom, undressed her and got her in bed. He had never seen her so out of it. He wondered if that was normal, but she seemed ok otherwise. He tried not to worry, he didn’t want to alarm Sanem or anyone else by being paranoid. He tucked her in and went to clean the kitchen. It was still fairly early, so he took a book and got comfortable on the sofa. He hadn’t realized how tired he was himself, and before he knew he was sleeping soundly. 

He woke sometime during the night, disoriented and confused. It took a minute for him to adjust and then he went to the bedroom to finish out his night in their bed. Sanem wasn’t there, seeing the light on in the bathroom, he opened the door, and there she was lying on the floor. He ran to her, calling her name, he could see that she had gotten sick and evidently was so weak she couldn’t make it back to bed. He cradled her in his arms and started to the bed, thats when he saw the blood, on the floor and soaked on her pajamas. It shocked him so he almost dropped her. He stumbled and tripped, getting her to the bed. He was in a pure panic of what to do, “What is happening.” the thoughts bombarded his head. His heart was pounding so hard it hurt his chest. He wrapped her in a blanket and ran to the car, put her in, still calling her name, ” Sanem, bebek, please wake up, are you ok.” He pleaded with her to answer. He jumped in, calling his dad, as he tore off down the road towards the hospital. Aziz answered, ” Can, my son, how are things.” He asked. Can’s panicked voice echoed through the phone, ” Dad I’m taking Sanem to the hospital, I found her unconscious on the floor, dad she’s bleeding. I don’t know what’s happening, please call her parents and come to the hospital.” He begged. He was crying, and still talking to Sanem, pleading with her to respond, but she was still silent. 

The drive to the hospital seemed to take hours, he even ran a couple of red lights, out of frustration. About 5 minutes away from the hospital, Sanem finally started to come to, calling Can’s name. “I’m here my love, I’m right here. You are going to be ok. He stuttered. She sat up, ” What happened Can, where are we going.” She cried. ” I have a horrible headache.” She moaned, rubbing head. ” I really don’t feel good.” She spoke. Can tried to hide the fear that had griped him, that panicked feeling of dread. He pulled into the emergency parking lot, grabbed her up from the car in his arms and ran through the doors. A nurse met with a wheelchair, he placed her in it, the nurse was asking him a multitude of questions, but his mind he gone blank, all he could say was, ” This is my wife and she’s 7 weeks pregnant, please help her.”  He sobbed as they wheeled her down the hall, instructing him to stay in the waiting room and someone would let him know what was going on. He was weak with fear, ” Why did this happen, they had been so careful. Damn it, they had been so happy. Were they not supposed to be happy, was that just not in the cards for them, his hurt was deep, wrenching at his heart, wishing he were there with Sanem. He knew she had to be scared.” 

 Aziz and Mihriban found Can sitting in the waiting room, head in his hands, sobbing for the unknown. Aziz ached for his son, ” Can, what happened, have you heard anything,” He asked. Can stood and reached for his dad, the release was automatic and immediate, that rush of tears that he had held back, he could hold no longer. Her parents along with Leila and Emre, rushed in the door. The questions were rampant, and his answers seemed empty, ” I don’t know what happened,” He answered, I just found her there, on the floor.” He cried. They tried to comfort him, but the guilt had set in. ” Why had he fell asleep on the sofa, if he had been in bed with her, maybe he could have done something,” He tortured himself with ” what if’s” He needed to know something, anything, it had been so long since they took her back why had they not talked to him. 

Minutes later a doctor walked down the hall towards the family, ” Are you the Divit family?” He asked. Can stepped forward, ” Yes, I’m Can Divit, my wife….” The doctor put his hand on his shoulder, ” Your wife will be fine, but I’m sorry, she lost the baby.” He told him. His head rang with the words, they echoed like in a tunnel. He shook his head, ” No, doctor, that can’t be, we did everything right, I did everything right…. He covered his face with his hands, rubbing them hard against his skin, he wanted to claw something, yell at someone, but who…. The doctor was explaining to him that he could see her in a little while, soon as they had her comfortable in her room. ” Mr. Divit, these things happen, for whatever reason. But your wife is fine and will be able to conceive again. And again, I’m sorry.” Mevkibe and Nihat were consoling each other, worried for their daughter. She had been through so much in her short life, more than most people, it made them ache to think what this might do to her. Can turned and went outside, he needed air, this burning in his gut was so intense. How would he face her, he had let her down? “Why, why. He yelled, slamming his fist into the building, until it bled. Emre had followed him and watched him as he lost control, he grabbed him, ” Abi, stop, it’s not your fault. These things happen, that’s what the doctor said.” He shouted. ” You have to pull yourself together before you go in to see Sanem, don’t let her see you like this. Be strong for her.” You both can help each other through this.” He pleaded. Can was the first one in to see her. Her health was fine, but the family was worried about her mentally. How would she cope. 

Can stood at the door, trying to prepare his heart for the devastation she would feel. Be there for her, hold her, love her, thats all she needs now. His mind was channeling these words to him. He opened the door, her petite body was rolled up in a ball, with her back to the door. He slipped in, not making a sound. She knew he was there; she always knew.

” Can I’m so sorry, I lost our baby, can you ever forgive me.”

Chapter 16

His heart, that was broke, broke even more at the sight of her. So small and fragile now, she looked beaten, destroyed. He walked around the bed to face her, hiding the worst pain he had ever felt, ” My love, it wasn’t your fault, you did nothing wrong.” He said softly. ” The doctor said you will be fine,” We will……” Can, I am not fine, I’ll never be “fine” again. She interrupted. ” Our baby is gone, like it never happened, how could I not do this.” The most natural thing in the world for a woman to give the man she loves and couldn’t even do that. “Am I punished for being happy.”  She cried. Her eyes were dark, sad, the light gone from them. She stroked his face, ” I have disappointed you again, you, the love of my life.”  I have caused you pain, I can see it in your eyes and feel it from your heart,…it’s broken.”  Can leaned in to kiss her cheek, “Nothing could be farther from the truth, we will hurt together, cry together, you and I together.” He whispered to her. He took her hand, kissing it and sliding his fingers through her hair. Although he was broken, his main concern was Sanem, he would be there to help her mend, they would mend each other with love.” He held her until she fell asleep, her face pale and drawn from the sadness in her heart. He left her to sleep and went to join their families, Deren and CeyCey and arrived from the office, their faces full of sorrow for the couple.

Can’s body was tired, but his mind wouldn’t give in. Her family peeked in on her as she slept, just to satisfy their hearts, then took a taxi home. They assured Can they would be there for him when he brought her home. They would keep her overnight, to keep an eye on her for any complications. One by one the family and friends left, urging Can to go home too and get some rest. Can refused, he would stay with her, be there for her until their hearts were healed. He was alone now, as he watched her sleep the tears came, he mourned his child that his heart had already excepted and loved. It ached for the empty feeling he had, but he did this in silence. She was more important now, getting her through this heartache with all the love his heart could provide her. She was his life…..

At some point of the night he succumbed to sleep, leaning over her bed with her hand in his. She awoke, faced to face with him, sleeping, he looked peaceful, but she knew he wasn’t. She studied his face, how would she be able to make this up to him. They were so happy, but their love always came with so much pain, testing the very soul of it. She was beginning to think she was toxic to him, the lies that had hurt him, pushing him away with distrust of him, causing him to lose his memory, now this, depriving him of a living part of himself. Would they survive it? She wanted to, but she felt so empty and guilty. He stirred and opened his eyes, what was usually a face of love and desire was fitted with a mask of sorrow, the eyes that always welcomed him now shied away from his gaze. The guilt had taken her, and he didn’t know if he could rescue her, but he was never leaving her. 

” Good morning my love,” he said kissing her fingers. She smiled a slight smile, but her eyes darted away, not wanting to dwell there. The tears welled up in her eyes, ” Good morning,” she said. ” You stayed the night?” She asked. ” Of course, I’m wherever you are.” He stated. ” How do you feel, ready to go home? ” He asked rubbing her arm. She nodded her reply, ” When can we go, I’m really sick of this place.” She remarked. Can looked with concern at her, he guessed it was normal for a woman to be like this after a loss, but it was totally different from her, it scared him. Within minutes the doctor came in with the nurse, ” Mrs. Divit, your labs were good, so you can leave when you feel up to it.” Just take it a bit slow for a few days.” He advised. ” And again, there was nothing you did for this to happen, don’t blame yourself. ” Try to resume your normal routine as soon as possible.” If you need anything don’t hesitate to call.” He shook Can’s hand and left, leaving the nurse to get her ready to leave. With paperwork in hand, they started out. He ran and got the car and pulled around for her, getting her in. As he leaned across to buckle her, she grabbed him around the neck, the tears came uncontrollably as she clung to him. They released the pent-up sorrow that had buried within them, together. 

The talk on the way home was general, about nothing specific, but at least she was talking. Mevkibe and Leila would meet them at their house, for Can’s support, and for a mother’s shoulder for Sanem to cry on. They were a welcomed sight for Sanem, someone else to look at besides Can. Her guilt made her feel uncomfortable around him, although he had shown nothing but love for her, it would take a while for her to except what had happened. But she wouldn’t shut him out, she would love him for his support of her, this man that she loved with all of her heart. Her mother took over a bit, shooing Can out to take a breather. She knew it was time to have that mother, daughter talk she has always meant to have. ” Sanem, I know I haven’t told you or Leila this before, but I also lost a child, our first one. It was much like this experience it just happened, for no reason.” It was hard on us both, but your father cradled me with such love that before I knew it, I was pregnant again with Leila.” Not that I don’t think about that loss but what I have now, so satisfied my heart that there no room for sadness.” Stay open to Can, let the two of you mourn together. It’s a united thing, join it with him. That will make the difference.” The girls were shocked at her admission and her advice was just what she needed. It felt like her heart was lighter, and a little spark inside her ignited, making her want to see and touch Can. She wanted to mourn with him, not mourn for him. 

After Can’s workout, he returned to the house. Mevkibe and Leila we’re preparing to leave,” You’re leaving so soon.” He asked, shocked she wasn’t suggesting to stay the night. ” Yes, my son, you have it covered,” She replied. ” All that’s needed now, is the two of you, and your love. I think she is waiting for you in the bedroom, she needs you more than ever Can.” 

His eyes clouded with tears, his mother-in-law was so wise, in the way of love and sacrifice. 

He knew, beyond a doubt, how much he needed Sanem, now and for the rest of his life.

Chapter 17

She sat propped up on the bed, her eyes red and swollen from crying. But he saw a light shine underneath all of that when he entered the room. She waved him over to sit beside her, which he did happily. He smiled, ” Are feeling better bebek, how about some tea.” I can fix us something to eat.” He volunteered. She shook her head, ” No not right now, I just need you, I need you to touch me, hold me, I miss you. He quickly climbed into the bed next to her, pulling her against him. He didn’t want to crowd her, or overwhelm her, but he needed her as much as she needed him. Just the feel, of her body next to his soothed his soul. They would be ok, it would take time, but they had plenty of that. She snuggled up to his chest, her favorite place, he smelled so good. Even though he was fresh from a run, she loved that smell of his heat. This was what she wanted, to be calm and in his arms. 

She broke the silence by saying, ” Can, we will be pregnant again, I know it. I’m sorry this didn’t work out but don’t give up on me.” She begged. ” I love you with all my heart and we will have our family.”  His heart sang with those words, ” Yes, I know we will, and I too love you with all my heart. I will never give up on you, or on us.” He whispered in her ear. They both took advantage of the quiet and slept for a while. He woke with a start, his mind was seeing her lying on the floor in a pool of blood, she wouldn’t wake up. He felt her in his arms and knew it was just a dream, a bad, bad dream. Even though it was a true nightmare, it was one that was over. They were though the worst of it he prayed. He snuck out of bed, going to the kitchen to brew some tea, it was late in day, he should wake her to eat. He made a salad, with some fruit. Then he would suggest taking a walk before it got dark. The air was crisp, just right, and the exercise would do her good. Before waking her he phoned Emre, ” Abi, how is Sanem, there’s nothing wrong is there? He questioned.  Can appreciated his brother, and his concern, ” No, she fine, but I will need to take some time off from the office, and Sanem too. I don’t know how long, but as long as she needs.” He stated. ” When she’s ready, we’ll come back.” Emre agreed, willing to do whatever it took to help them through this time. ” Of course Abi, Deren and I will take care of everything until you come back.” Tell Sanem we are thinking of her, all of us here, and Leila and I will come by in a few days to visit.” Can thanked him, offering to repay the favor. 

He managed to get her up and to the table to eat, she munched on the salad and fruit. He even talked her into that walk, which was an accomplishment. Sanem wasn’t a fan of exercise but agreed to make Can feel better. She picked some flowers and talked about starting to make her perfume again. His heart was light, the lump that had been lodged in his throat since the day before was finally dissolving away. Time would be their medicine, and their love would be the cure.

Four months later:

” Can, we’re going to be late, come on, you’re as bad a woman when it comes to getting ready. ” She yelled. ” Well, I wouldn’t be late if someone hadn’t occupied the bathroom so long.” He huffed. She smiled that killer smile, ” Don’t you want me to look my best,” she twirled around, letting him see all the angles of her red dress. ” What do you think, am I presentable.” She asked. He was almost speechless, she looked like dynamite ready to explode, ” Sanem, you look beautiful, so that’s means you don’t leave my side tonight, got it.” He spouted, planting a kiss on her lips, wishing they hadn’t agreed to go to the fundraiser. But it was for a good cause, the women’s association that he had recused from collapse a few of years earlier, was raising money for a training program, and they ask him to take the pictures for the advertising brochures. Of course, they were invited to attend the dinner, for a hefty donation. It brought back such good memories for them both, they couldn’t turn them down.

” Listen, after the dinner we are out of there, ok.” He stated. ” If I see you all night in that dress, I’m going to want to get you out of it as soon as possible.” He said with a wink and then another kiss, but this one lasted a while longer. ” Can, we can’t, we need to go.” She said breathless from his kiss. ” Hold that thought, my dear.” And please watch your drinking tonight, you know what happens when you drink too much.” She said with a sideways look. He understood exactly what she meant, and she would never let him live it down. Just one time, he passed out before he got to finish what he started, just one time. But he would do as she said. The event was a grand affair, with a lot of important people in attendance. Fikri Harika was moving up the scale again as one of the top advertising agencies in Istanbul. They had worked hard to overcome the loss of Womanart, but he would do it all over again if he had to. 

They mingled among a lot of people, Can’s reputation as a photographer was still well known, and the pictures he had taken of Sanem from his appointment before, were displayed around the room. They smiled when they say them, the memories flooded back, in fact this was the first time Sanem had actually seen the entire portfolio. When everyone realized that she was the woman in the photos, the crowd erupted in applause. Can and Sanem was the most attractive couple there and everyone gazed at their beauty, and everyone wanted to know their story. The night had turned into a recap of how Can and Sanem came to be the gorgeous couple that saved the Women’s Association. Can was explaining the events that had led up to the photo shoot of Sanem to a group of the guests, when one of them realized the Sanem Divit was in fact, Sanem Aydin the author. The attention shifted to her, and the questions of when she would write again, became the topic. Sanem graciously took it in stride, explaining she was retired from the writing scene and focusing on her work at the agency and they were hoping to start a family soon.

Can watched her intently, with pride, she took the immediate attention of her writing and turned it to the focus of their family, and the dreams they had. She was so natural and calm in front of a crowd. She glowed with confidence and everyone was mesmerized by her, as was he.

He wanted to take her home and ravish her beautiful body with kisses and make wild and serious love to her. That image made him smile slightly, as she glanced his way with a look of “rescue me ” flashing on her face. His mind released the daydream, and he rushed in to take her away. They said their final goodbyes, thanking everyone for the kind words, and made their exit.

Alone in the car, he could barely keep his eyes off her, and the images he had earlier were tattooed in his mind. She seemed to be in a deep thought, ” Whats going on in that beautiful head of yours, my love.” He asked. She smiled, ” Writing,” she answered. He raised his eyebrows, ” Really, another book.” He questioned. 

” Maybe,” she thought, ” But this story would be of the greatest love story of all time.”

” Our Family.”

Chapter 18

Sanem couldn’t sleep, the evening before was still playing along in her mind. She was up, sitting by the pool, with her notebook in her hand, almost before the sun was up. Just the talk of her books and the people questioning her for a another one, stirred the need in her. Her mind working overtime, thinking of all the possibilities, but also the problems of writing another book. But she knew she wanted to. If she just started jotting down ideas, seeing where it might take her. Would she continue their life story, there was definitely enough there to tell? Some would be too personal and might hurt too much, but that was life, a real life of love and how you keep it. She could most certainly write an instruction booklet on how to do that. She was so involved in her thoughts she never heard Can come out, ” Sanem, are you ok,” He asked, staring at her with concern. ” Oh bebek, yes, I just woke early and didn’t want to disturb you.” She stated. He leaned down kissing her on the top of the head. ” Your notebook?” He said, pointing at the pink notebook she held, open but with nothing written on the pages. 

She smiled, ” Yes, I’m thinking,” she said, ” trying to decide if there anything left inside me to write.” Can was surprised, she hadn’t talked about another book until last night. ” So, what would you write about.” He asked. She turned looking in his eyes, ” Us, the thing I love the most. What do you think?” She asked shyly. He lowered his head, ” Do you mean everything, all of it.” He asked quietly. His face held the pain from months before, not sure of it, but willing to discuss it. ” Yes, I think it might help other couples, you know, help them cope with a loss like ours” She said. ” We have, I mean we’ve coped with it and excepted it and placed it our hearts to stay.” Maybe we could help someone else do that too.” She expressed. Her eyes danced with excitement, he loved her so much for being that type of person, caring, always thinking of someone else. Could he say no to her? 

“Do you think you can,” I do see the need for such a book, but will it hurt too much.” He questioned. “I don’t know, I thought I’d just write a little and see how it felt.” She replied. ” It doesn’t mean I have to publish it, it would be like a diary, maybe just for us.” She said sadly. He smiled, “if you think it will help, then I’m all for it, I love whatever your heart desires, my lady.” He replied, with a deep bow. ” How about some French toast, and some fruit.” That sounds good to me.” He spoke. She shook her head, still pondering over the notebook. They ate, and she made her way back to the patio, still staring at her notebook. He sat down beside her, ” Sanem, just talk from your heart, let it out.” Should we both talk about it, would that help.” He asked. “Maybe both of us could write our own feelings, then you could fit it together in a chapter form.” He suggested. She smiled,” You would do that?” She asked. ” Sanem, there’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for you, if I’m helping you, I’m helping us.” So yes, I would.” He stated. Her eyes glistened with tears, ” Do you know how much I love you, there’s really not a measure of it, it’s unmeasurable.” She threw her arms around his neck, knowing how lucky she was to have found him. 

The rest of Saturday she spent thinking and jotting down her thoughts, in a way it seemed to make her happy to see it on paper. It forced her to deal with what she thought she had already dealt with. With each page written, it always ended with how much she had depended on and love her husband. Later in the day, Can told her he was going for a run, as he jogged away she noticed a small notebook stuffed in the back pocket of his workout shorts. Her eyes lit up,” He’s really going to do it. She knew he would jog to a place he felt comfortable with and the sit and write. Her heart was full of love for him, she wondered if she would have enough love share with a child. But she was dying to find out.

The days that followed were filled with her writing, it seemed to just appear on the paper. Everything she felt, for him, for the baby that was taken. She never felt she lost the baby it was simply being held for them for another time. That had helped her cope, to accept what had happened. The words he wrote broke her heart when she read them, so vulnerable and open. This man of principle and pride was bearing his soul for everyone to see. How could she love him more, she didn’t know, but she did. They never discussed what they had each written, but the eyes of love for each other said all that needed to be said.

The agency was busier than ever, but Sanem only worked part time, with the rest of her days occupied with writing. She had done a rewind of their life and relived the moments from them reuniting in Switzerland to the present day. It was like a current event, an ongoing saga of their everyday life, what fun she was having delivering the love they had for each other to the pages of her notebook. He had to force her to come to bed most nights, luring her away from her notebook with kisses and touches that she couldn’t refuse. Then the beautiful and passionate nights of love making that made her beg for more. He could fulfill her more than anything else possible, and she never wanted it to end. 

” Can, what’s for dinner tonight.” She called to him from the bedroom, where she had been writing since they got home. ” I think a salad, it’s sort of late, so nothing heavy.” He answered, “Does that sound ok,” He asked. ” Yes, do you need help.” She yelled back. Of course he didn’t, and in a matter of minutes he came with s beautiful salad on a tray for them. She dove instantly, she seemed too hungry all the time. He ate, took the tray and went to the kitchen. Took his time to clean the kitchen and made a bowl of fruit for dessert. ” Sanem, do you want more tea, I’m bringing fruit? ” He yelled. “Sanem, tea or not bebek..” He called. With no answer he went on with the fruit. He entered the bedroom, ” Sanem, where are you?” He asked. He set the bowl of fruit of the nightstand, he turned as Sanem came from the bathroom. Her eyes were wide with surprise, ” What Sanem, what’s wrong.” He asked. ” Can, I just got sick and lost my dinner.” She exclaimed. “Are you ok,” he said. ” No….Can, I just got sick.” It just hit me suddenly.” She exclaimed her eyes still wide in disbelief.  They stood staring at each other for a minute, stunned.   

” Could it be,” she thought. She did a quick calculation in her head. ” Yes, it very well could be”…

” Can, I think I might be pregnant.”

Chapter 19

” Sanem are you sure,” He asked as the thought exploded in his head. ” No, Can I’m not sure but the feelings are the same as before.” She spouted. ” What do you want to do, do we need to go the hospital, ” come on I’ll take you right now.” He exclaimed, ready to drop everything and rush to the emergency room. His heart was pounding so hard he couldn’t breathe’ She her head,” No I’m just going to give it a few days and see what happens.” She stated, but really, she didn’t believe that herself. If I’m sick again, I’ll get a pregnancy test. They agreed, both with hesitation and anticipation. Sleep wasn’t in the cards for them that night, with every move Sanem made, Can was asking if she was ok. They tried to carry on with business of usual the next morning, with Can fixing them a light breakfast while she got ready for work. 

They arrived at work, the morning so far proving to be uneventful. So Can kissed her as they went to their separate offices. If was all very robotic in nature, they were just waiting on pins and needles for her next bout of sickness. Praying for it to come and confirm their heart felt suspicious. Can had a meeting so he was able to relief his mind from it partially for an hour, but Sanem was fully engrossed with it. Not able to calm her mind. She hardly ever skipped a meal, so she held her routine and Can order in sandwiches for them and they ate in his office. Unable to shake the feeling, her nerves were on high alert, making her imagine all kinds of things. With them both stressed, Can made her stretch out of the sofa after they ate, and relax. He closed the door, which was the sign for everyone to knock, and wait for the invitation to enter, and laid down beside her. They were no words spoken, just the touch, that protective touch that she got from Can, that made her feel safe and loved. 

They both dozed off, with sleep evading them the night before, and the tension of it all somewhat relieved. The day wore on with nothing out of the ordinary going on. She felt maybe it had been a coincidence and her mind was more than eager to except her explanation. She was finished with her work and waited for him to respond to the last email of the day. Her disappointment she tried to hide was more than apparent to Can. Was she willing herself to be sick, hoping and praying for something that may not be. With his business taken care of, he suggested, they go to their favorite fish place on the pier before going home. She agreed, hoping to take her mind off her ever-present thoughts. The fish was delicious as always, making her feel good and satisfied, not nauseous and uncomfortable. They talked about the campaign they were working on as they drove him, both pushing pregnancy issue out of their heads. They turned off the main road towards the farm, this part of the drive always calmed her down. It let her relax, knowing they were closer to her place of serenity and peace.

On more than a half a mile down the road, that feeling of weakness and nausea hit. It was so sudden it scared her. A weak sensation that tingled all the way down and hit her stomach, ” Can, pull over, please.” She said quietly. He wasn’t sure if he had heard her correctly, so her looked at her with doubt. ” Sanem are you ok.” He asked. ” Pull over now.” She said, louder this time and with more authority. He whipped his truck over to the side of the narrow road she threw the door open and jumped out. Within seconds, the dinner and lunch were gone. A wave of heat and dizziness covered her, making her grab for the truck before she fell against it in a panic. He immediately rushed around the truck, watching her lose control and almost hit the ground. ” Ok Sanem, bebek, lets get you home, here I’ll help you back in the truck.” He stated, trying to take control and not overreact. These feelings came in waves, come and going at will. Her mind collecting everything that had happened and analyzing it to make since. These were the same symptoms she had felt before, giving a bit more intensity, she was sure of what the results would be. Can had one eye on Sanem and one eye on the road, as they continued on headed for home.

She stared ahead, too scared to look directly into his eyes, for fear of jinxing the outcome. Once home she went straight to the bathroom, stripped down and stepped into the shower. ” Let this water calm you,” relax you, don’t get too excited.” Her mind repeated over and over. Next plan of action, ” Tomorrow get a pregnancy test, and find out for sure, then you can let yourself except it and fill your heart with it. Can entered the bathroom, ” Sanem, are you ok, do you need me.” He asked with a sound of desperation in his voice. ” Yes, my love, I’ll always need you, so come on in the water great.” She teased. Within seconds he was next to her, holding her, soothing her with his touch. He needed and deserved it as much as she… the calming of them together. They allowed them their time to connect to the possible reality of a baby again, then drying off and dressing for bed. This odd silence between them meant they were both afraid to say what was in their hearts. The snuggled up together, with happiness on their minds. 

The next morning, he brought her breakfast in bed, not wanting to take any chances. She was famished as usual, but she ate with reason and caution. Not wanting to overdo, causing her to lose it all. Still reserved and cautious, they started to work. Her head trying to record every feeling that was surging through her body. Her notebook, always present with her, became her lifeline to her soul. The office was busy as their sunglasses company was set to release a new line of eyewear for the next summer season. A meeting with the head of their advertising group had Can busy most of the morning. Then boxes of sample sunglasses the agency to try, made everyone happy. She shifted her energy to a new presentation, telling her mind to invent a new and fabulous campaign for them. But it was hard to come, so Deren developed the winning campaign and slogan for the upcoming presentation, and Sanem returned to her office to write, recording each feeling she had through the day.

With a stop on the way home to buy a pregnancy test, Cans excitement was high. He couldn’t wait, but he knew he had to. That truly was the longest 5 minutes of his life. She refused to let him in the bathroom as they waited for the results. After what he thought had been plenty of time, he knocked on the door. ” Sanem, is it ready, what did it say.” She opened the door, with a confused look, the line was faint, so faint it almost couldn’t have been there. But just enough to say it was.

He turned the test around for him to see. ” I think it’s positive,” She said. Smiling at him, ” I say it’s positive, how about you.” She quizzed with a happiness in her voice.

He stared at it, seeing the ever so slight blue line, ” That’s what I see, my love. We did it.” He yelled…. picking her up and swinging her around, both laughing.

Chapter 20

Was it for real, they knew it was. Both had hearts full and happy, ready to embrace the journey.” Ok, so we know what to do, good food, lots a rest and “no stress” Can stated with authority in his voice. She smiled, hugging his neck, ” See I told you we would do it.” We’re the Divits, nothing is going to stop us.” She clung to him, showering him with kisses, and he excepted them all with so much love in his heart, he thought it would burst. He took charge, ” Ok, you rest, and I’m making dinner, no moving just rest.” He ordered. She stretched out on the sofa, so she could be close to him and they could talk while he cooked. ” I’ll call and make an appointment with the doctor, so we can get a started on prenatal care,” She told him.  They chatted, as he cooked, their lives, that was already perfect was even brighter now. They decided to wait until the doctor appointment to deliver the news to everyone else. His face was fitted with a permanent smile and his eyes glowed bright with love for her. What more could he want they had been given a second chance and they would take full advantage of it. He would love her no matter what but, he knew this would make her happy and that is all that wanted now.

She had her pen in hand all evening, jotting down all the feelings and everything they talked about that night. She would record this time for them, to look back on, relive and enjoy for years to come. Their life, as they were living it, what could be better. This was going to be so much fun, until she was sent running for the bathroom, to happily void herself of the meal, they had enjoyed earlier. ” She didn’t seem to mind at all,” He thought, as he ceremonially took his place behind her, assisting her however he could. They rested in bed, him reading and her writing, speaking to their baby through her words on paper. Those words that came from her heart, be it boy or girl, the message would be the same.” you are loved, never doubt it.” She would write at the end of every page. The next day was as the day before, he made sure she had everything she needed, even before she knew she needed it. Attentive was his middle name, he drove to work, holding her hand in his, her touch made him content. His eyes wanted to look at her, in wonder and awe, she had made him so happy. As soon as she made it to her office, she called the doctor office to schedule an appointment. They would see the doctor the next week on Monday, it would be a long weekend.

She was no good to anyone at the office, her thoughts consumed by her future and what it would come to be. Every thought she recorded in her notebook, how she felt from hour to hour, and every look and feeling she shared with Can. She knew that one day this child would appreciate having a written account of how they felt when they found out she was pregnant. Can had a meeting with a possible new client, just a meet and greet over dinner. Can wanted Sanem to come along but she had other ideas, she wanted to take a taxi home and relax. The last thing she wanted was a stuffy dinner with some stuffy businessmen. She finally convinced him to let her go home and him go alone to the meeting. He called his dad to let him know the Sanem would coming home alone this evening and for him to check in on her. Aziz was waiting for her when she arrived, letting her know the Can had called them. He wanted her to come to dinner with them, and he wasn’t taking no for an answer. She agreed and ran in to change her clothes and take the short walk to Mihriban house. She was glad to see her and welcomed her company.

Can called her three times while she was there, suggesting she stay there until he returned home, but after dinner she said her goodbyes and walked back to her house. She never liked the empty house, and she described it vividly in her notebook, how their home was so different without Can, how he made these walls come alive with love, how he filled her heart with love. Even for a short time of being alone, her mood could change. She talked out loud, to the baby, feeling that now she would never alone, she always had this new life she would be responsible for. Someone that she would always have, and no one could take away. It calmed her, until the ever so present feeling of nausea and dizziness swept over her, making her run for the bathroom. Why did she get sick after every meal, she worried that she wouldn’t get the proper nutrition, if she kept voiding all her food. It wasn’t a pleasant experience, but even more so without Can there to easy her nerves.

Can called while she was occupied in the bathroom and didn’t hear the phone. He didn’t get an answer, so he called right back, still no answer. He rang his dad, and they explained she had already returned home. That hit Can’s panic button, he was already on the road home, but that protective instinct came out and he drove 80 mph until he pulled into their house. He raced in the house, calling her name. ” Sanem, where are you, are you ok.” He yelled at the top of his voice. Searching for her, he ran down the hall to their bedroom, she sat, propped up in their bed. Her eyes wide with surprise as he burst in the room. ” Can, what’s wrong,” She asked. He grabbed her up, hugging her until she couldn’t breathe. ” Can, what happened, I’m fine.” She insisted as he kissed her cheek and neck, almost in tears. ” I called, twice, and you didn’t answer, I thought something had happened to you.” He finally told her. He’s fear was overwhelming, and she saw the terror in his eyes. ” Oh, my god Can, I’m fine. really.” I must have been in the bathroom.” She explained. He looked at her with concern, ” Did you get sick after dinner again?” He questioned her. ” Yes, but I’m fine now, I took a shower afterwards and that made me feel better, and I wrote everything down in my notebook if you want to read it, but first let me write this down.”  She said, ready to describe the whole scenario on paper of a hysterical dad-to-be. Can calmed down, but still had his fear of something happening to her with him not there, she could laugh about it if she wanted, but that’s the way he felt. He got ready for bed and they discussed the dinner meeting with the clients. He explained it all to her, but she was still amused at his reaction when he got home. They cuddled together in bed, and he read the notebook, and all the events of the day, he loved her writing.

They fell asleep in each other’s arms, happy and more in love than ever. He was such a caring husband…. she couldn’t wait to see him as a dad.

Chapter 21

She woke to the smell of food cooking she wasn’t sure if she liked the smell or not. She crawled out of bed made her way to the kitchen for some water. But the closer she got the stronger the smell hit her stomach, ” Can, what are you cooking.” She asked with a snarled-up nose. ” Good morning love, it’s just eggs, I scrambled them.” Is that ok.” He questioned, with a puzzled look on his face. ” I’m sorry, but that smells horrible, I’m sorry,” she said, waving her hand in front of her face. He slides the skillet off the stove, ” I’ll, fix something else, what do you want.” He quickly asked. ” Just some fruit or something, nothing cooked, ok.” And some tea. If you don’t mind, I love you.” She said and blew him a kiss. He raked all the eggs into his plate, and fixed her a bowl of fruit, wondering if that was a good nutritional breakfast, but that was what she wanted. He rumbled in his head. He called for her to come and eat, and he poured her tea. She had barely sat down, when the sight and smell of the eggs sent her running for the bathroom. He quickly followed her as he always did, just to be there and help if he could. There was nothing to get rid of as how she hadn’t eaten anything since the day before, so this time was particularly rough. With this bout over, they showered, and got ready for work. She took her tea and some crackers for the trip to the office.

Can was busy, in the middle of a new ad for the sunglass company, they had expanded their line, to a children’s section. A whole design of Mini Me Sunglasses to match the parents. Making it a family campaign, geared for the young adventurous families. Him and Sanem were both totally involved with it. Sanem was constantly recording every aspect of their lives on paper, it would be their legacy for their child. Documenting all their feeling and thoughts for the world to read. Can took it all in stride, providing her with as much love and support as he could. Friday was over and they headed home, ready for the weekend and peace and quiet. He fixed a nice dinner, hoping she could eat and keep it down, pasta with sauce and a salad. It was one of her favorites. He even talked her into a walk after dinner, they loved these times together. They made it back home and she went to take a shower, with Can close behind. She had been so devoted to her writing they hadn’t had time for each other. His eyes had filled with desire for her, as they undressed to shower, she welcomed his touch, it made her feel alive. All  her senses were heightened, as he pulled her into the shower, letting the water slid over their bodies, sending chills along the spine. His body, still and would always, mesmerize her, as she kissed his chest, he moaned her name, and she obeyed with a fire of desire. He was gentle, yet so satisfying, making sure they molded together as they filled their greatest needs. 

They lay in each other’s arms, so happy, so full of love and expectations of what the next stage of their life would be. Can was surprised that Sanem hadn’t been sick that evening, ” Bebek, you haven’t been sick yet, maybe you’ll keep this dinner down.” You need to, I’m afraid you’re not getting enough nutrition.” He said with concern. She smiled kissing his shoulder, you are giving me everything I need, just you, that’s all I need. That started another round of unleashed desire, lasting well into the night. As they were drifting off to sleep, he said, ” Maybe you should leave this part of our lives out of the book,” he teased. She agreed with a smile. They slept late, it was 8:00 when Can woke up, and Sanem was still sleeping, which he knew she needed. ” No sickness,” he thought, she needed to keep down as much food as possible. He decided to go one quick run, before she woke up, maybe just a couple of miles, it made him feel better when he got a good workout in. He laced up his running shoes and put on a t-shirt, grabbed his phone and took off. They a great place to run there, down the road past Mihribans and his dads house and to the main road and back. He was thinking of Sanem as he ran, the vision of the night before, it stirred his feelings. She was more woman than anyone he had ever known. As he ran to the main road and started the turnaround, a strange feeling came over him. A feeling that something was wrong, he couldn’t pinpoint what it was but, it definitely was a different sensation. He stepped up his run a bit, just wanting to hurry back to the house, the urge was getting stronger, the closer he got to home.

He ran in the door, the living room and kitchen were empty, ” Sanem, are you up, I’m back from my run.” He yelled, still heavy with that feeling of dread. He went down the hall to their bedroom and he heard a muffled sobbing coming from the bathroom. He knocked on the door and opened it gently, ” Sanem love, are you ok.” He asked as the door opened to the view of her sitting on the floor. He quickly hugged her close to him, ” What is it, what’s wrong.” His voice took on the sound of hysteria. Sanem was sobbing, holding her stomach, rocking back and forth. Her eyes found his, the panic he saw in her eyes made him turn cold. ” Can, I think I lost the baby, please tell me it didn’t happen again.” She cried, pulling, clawing and clinging to him for dear life. He picked her up and carried her to the bed. ” What happened, just tell me what happened.” He begged. She was gasping for breath as she explained, ” I woke up, my stomach was hurting really bad, like cramps, it got worse when it started to get up. I got to the toilet and there was blood, but the cramping is so bad.” She cried. ” I think something bad happened Can, please let’s go to the hospital,” she begged. He got her clean clothes and they headed to the hospital, the drive was silent, except for Sanem sobbing. They took her immediately to a room, leaving Can alone, that’s when the fear and reality hit him. ” This can’t happen again, please not again.” He pleaded for another answer to appear and let their baby be ok. This time he didn’t call anyone, he sat there and waited for the doctor to come. He was in shock, had their lovemaking caused this to happen, it had been rather vigorous, had he done this. His mind so full of thought yet numb and empty. He saw the doctor coming his way, he knew the look, it wasn’t good. The words he said rang in his head, ” Mr. Divit, I’m sorry but looks like your wife was pregnant, possibly 4 weeks along, according to the dates she gave me. But she did lose the baby. Her health is good and there shouldn’t be a problem for her to conceive again.” He touched his arm.  “Please don’t be discouraged, these things happen.”  She is free to go when she feels up to it.” He explained. 

Can nodded his head, as the doctor shook his hand and walked away. He stood at the door, thinking back some 5 months earlier, to the same sick feeling that coursed through his body. ” This might be more than she can handle,” He thought. 

“Please, let me have the strength to help her.” He pleaded.

Chapter 22

She was sitting up in the bed when he opened the door and walked in, that surprised him. Her look was that of one defeated, robbed, and left unworthy. He knew the words that he would say, would mean nothing to her, she already knew them all. So, he said nothing, just crawled up in the bed beside her and laid his head on her shoulder. His disappointment escaped from him in the form of tears, tears he couldn’t control. They were for her, him and most of all, for yet another child they would have to wait to see. His heart was broken, and the only one that could help him was Sanem, which she did, as she held him in her arms. His hurt and pain eased hers, she had to protect him now, they hurt together, and they would heal together, still bonded heart and soul.

They had lost another part of their heart, but she knew they would be strong enough to endure this pain and move on. His eyes held hers, in a gaze of love, ” Sanem, I love you more with every breath I take, I’m sorry for us both, so let’s go home and try to heal.” He said with tears filling his eyes. She smiled, ” Can, we will be ok, I know it will happen, we just need to stay strong.” We had waited for our love, for how long? She asked, ” We didn’t give up then, so we won’t give up now.” She whispered to him. He admired her so much, her strength had always amazed him, and he was willing to do anything for her. The nurse came in and released her, he took her hand, and they left the hospital, again…. with an emptiness that would take them both to fill.

She had a quiet determination about her this time, the drive home was quiet, but she wasn’t quite as sad and lost as before. As they came in, she went straight to the notebook, and started to write. Can asked, ” Sanem, your still writing? ” Why?  She smiled, ” A child will happen for us one day, and this book will be for them. It will show the love we had for each life we have lost and for each life we will have.” That we didn’t lose our love for us, it only grew.” She spent the rest of the evening writing and Can comforted her as she cried at the words she wrote. She fell asleep, exhausted from the hours of pouring her heart and soul onto the pages of her notebook. He carried her to bed, she snuggled against him, her smell calmed his heart. Why this heartache for them, he wondered, was it because they loved each other so deeply. Whatever the reason, he was sure they would overcome this and be allowed their family one day. 

As she slept, her mind took her to a place she had never seen before, but it was beautiful. A field of white wildflowers, with a smell like that of her cream. It went on until there was no end, they waved and swayed with the gentle breeze, she was there, sitting in the middle of the flowers. Her notebook propped against her bent knees, with a smile on her face, she was writing. She didn’t see the words on the paper, but she was happy at what they said. The words seemed to be in her mind, repeating, ” We are here, we are here.” Over and over, making her smile more and more. Then she saw images of two small children running and playing in the flowers, happy and content. She tried to see them clearly, but all she saw was their beautiful brown hair flowing as they danced and played. She laughed as she watched them, so happy, then she was awake. She sat up in the bed, confused at what she had dreamed, where had she been in all those flowers. And the two babies, who were they, where they their babies. Her heart still smiling and laughing as in the dream, but so warm with love it scared her. Her eyes didn’t close again, she remembered this dream over and over, as if it lived in her mind. Would she tell Can about her dream, maybe but not just yet she wanted to study it for a while, to try and figure out what it meant.

She was still up when Can woke up. ” Sanem, bebek, why are you up so early, do you feel ok? He asked. She smiled, with an honest relief in her heart, ” Yes my love, I feel fine, in fact more than fine.”  She stated. She felt renewed and her heart lighter, with every recollection of the dream she had the night before. She had recorded every detail of the vision she had dreamed, dissecting it and analyzing it, with logic. But she had her own logic, that came from her soul… her babies were with her. Their time would come, for their family and all the happiness that it would bring. He thought she had a different look about her this morning but couldn’t put his finger on it. ” Let’s eat something, ok. I’ll make some pancakes;  you always love those.” He whispered to her, kissing her on the neck. She welcomed his touch, ” Yes, that’s sounds good,” she said. Turning to kiss his lips, she gave the emptiness inside her to him, to fill with love. He caressed her, holding her tight, knowing she was healing her heart with their love. 

11 Months Later:

“Mrs. Divit, your ultrasound shows everything to be normal and on time. This is week 27, so we want you to be careful from now on, we want to keep these three bundles of joy inside you for as long as possible. We will see again in 2 weeks.” Can helped her up and out to the car, ” You heard what the doctor said, lots of rest… got it.” He ordered. Kissing her forehead as he buckled his beautiful family in.

Chapter 23

The trips to the doctor were tiresome for Sanem, and Can too as well. She tried to stay as active as possible early on in the pregnancy, Can insisted on it. He made their routine of walking each day and practicing yoga at least 3 times a week. It would help her cope with the changes that was about to happen in their lives. Three babies at one time, they would need everyone’s help if they were to remain in their right minds. But he so welcomed this new way of life and wouldn’t have it any other way. They had waited so long, endured so much, this gift to them was priceless. 

Just the same as every day, after they returned from the doctor visit, Sanem took her notebook and settled down to write the events of the day. She recorded everything, the trips to the doctor, the visits to the agency and the conversations about their lives, all written there in her notebook. She wrote everything, but was it boring she wondered, no not in the least. This life was the most exciting she had ever lived, carrying the lives of their children inside her. Feeding them, nurturing them, giving them life. Feeling them grow inside her body excited her, she knew each of them by their movements as they shifted about from spot to spot, sometimes more aggressive than others.  ” This is week 28,” She spoke to them, as she wrote it down. ” You all have to stay calm in there until at least 32 weeks, do you hear me. We don’t want any problems with any of you.” She lectured. Penning the accounts of the ultrasound to her notebook, ” There are 2 girls and a boy,” She wrote. Deniz, Yildiz and Ates, my babies. 

The dream of the two children in the field of wildflowers and her there watching over them had appeared to her almost on a nightly basis. That was the one thing that helped her heal from the loss of their last child. She had written it all with detail, in her book. Her, searching for the peace of mind to move on, and Can, with the strength to hold them both together. She held on to her dreams until 6 months ago, when they suddenly stopped. That was two days before the doctor confirmed that she was indeed pregnant again. Her heart still looked forward to that dream each morning when she woke up, but it seemed to have disappeared. Then a couple of weeks later came the news, there were triplets. They were both in shock at the news, but in her heart Sanem knew, at last her babies were all together, they were here. Just like the mesmerizing chant she had heard over and over in her dream, ” we are here” What a feeling of euphoria, as she connected the past with the future, and accepted this precious gift of overwhelming love for Can and their children. This was a happiness that neither could explain to their families or the doctors of how they had reconnected with all three of their babies. 

As the days moved on, Can stayed in charge of Sanem’s health. Continuing to urge her to walk, which they did after dinner every day. Not far, but just enough to keep her mobile. They would walk to Aziz and Mihriban’s, visit and rest and then back home. The nursery was coming along, and Leila had made a schedule for the first few weeks after their birth for everyone to help.  Sanem and Can had wanted to do most of it themselves, but they did appreciate the help. She enjoyed every aspect of carrying their triplets, all the aches and pains, all the cautions and rules she had to abide by. Their family was so worth all of this. 

The next visit to the doctor 2 weeks later, brought the official delivery date. ” Let’s keep them there for 2 more weeks, if possible, then it will be time to meet your babies.” He said, with pride. ” If you don’t go into labor by then, we will induce. The plans were made and Can loaded her up in the car and drove her home, with instructions of plenty of bed rest and limited activity.  The next few days they spent together, their bond closer than ever. She continued to write in detail, all of the day-to-day events. 

With her due date set for Monday, her parents and Aziz along with Mihriban spent their Saturday prepping the house for the arrival of the Divit triplets. Sanem gave the orders and Can carried them out. Her mother and Mihriban prepared food for the freezer, that would allow Can free time for Sanem and the babies. The excitement had grown to a mild hysteria, as the grandparents realized what would be happening in a couple of days. What happiness vibrated through their house, as they finalized all the preparations. They fell into bed that night exhausted and overjoyed. 

Early the next morning, even before the first sign of daybreak, she was awake. With a deep aching pain in her lower back. Can felt her moving and heard her moan, ” Sanem, what is it.” He asked still half asleep. ” I’m not sure, but my back is hurting badly.” She explained. She had his attention immediately, his was up and dressed in a matter of moments. ” What should we do.” He asked. “The doctor said, any pain whatsoever, come straight to the hospital.” So let’s go.” He ordered. She rolled around to position herself to get up, when a sudden gush of water covered the bed. Can’s eyes bulged wide with wonder. ” Oh my god Sanem, your water just broke.” He yelled. 

He quickly got her to the car, ” Can, my notebook, I have to have it.” She instantly felt the panic of not having it. He ran back, grabbed her notebook and raced back to the car. He made his assigned calls as he sped towards the hospital. The back pain was excruciating but she smiled through it all, with Can holding her hand. They made it to the emergency room doors, and they ran to her with a wheelchair. Can ran along behind as they raced her to the delivery room. The whole family, along with their close friends, gather in the waiting room, waiting for the news of the delivery. 

A few hours later Can arrived in the waiting room…

With his eyes full of tears ” Everyone, my beautiful children are here. Healthy, happy and full of life. Yildiz, Deniz, and Ates.” 

” Sanem is doing great, she has all of our children together…. finally.”

” We are the happiest we have ever been.” He cried.

2 thoughts on “Our Memories… The Second Time Around”

Leave a reply to grannydew Cancel reply