Is This The Real Thing

by grannydew, posted in The Real Thing Series

Chapter 1

Sanem was adamant about helping her parents pay for her wedding, she knew they were not ready to take on that kind of debt. She would get a job to help alleviate some of their worries. Her and Adin had both agreed to keep it simple, but even simple when it came to the weddings in her neighborhood, could bloom into quite the affair. All the rituals that accompanied the wedding day itself, would be costly. Mevkibe and Nihat had dreamed of the day when their daughters would marry, but never considered the fact they wouldn’t have the money to spend on making a memorable event. Over the years, their small grocery store had seen its ups and downs. Leaving their savings almost nonexistent.

Leilas agency had an opening for a bring and take position. It was basically, doing what nobody else wanted to do. But it was a start, and it was only for a while. The office was a busy, hustle and bustle place. Sanem was in awe, not at all what it looked like from the outside. Leila had threatened her with her life is she embarrassed her. She had worked there for a while and had made a name for herself. Sanem had only work in their small family grocery store, and that really didn’t require much work ethic. 

Adin was not as supportive of her working as Sanem would have liked for him to be. He knew she needed to help her parents, but the job would be short lived, only until the wedding, then she would resign to taking care of her husband, and their home. That was the traditional way in their neighborhood. Adin worked in the warehouse for his father, Mr. Khalil. He had his father’s keen sense for business and would be taking over the warehouse when the dad retired. Proving to the Aydins that he would clearly be able to take care of Sanem. His affection for Sanem was evident, they had feelings for each other, but neither of them knew if it was that deep down love that takes your breath away, kind of feeling. But there definitely was an attraction…. She was a beautiful and vibrant woman, a bit naive and crazy, making her even more desirable. He was a tall man, a few years older than Sanem, black hair, olive skin with eyes as black as coal to match his hair. His body was muscled and firm, which would make any woman turn and look. They made a beautiful couple….

Her first day had made her more tired than she had expected. There was the rush of preparing for the 40th anniversary party to held that night. She had to attend, which made her nervous. These kinds of parties where way out of her league. Adin wouldn’t like the fact she had worked all day and then going out tonight to a party, but it came with the job. The whole office was abuzz about Canbey, coming to town for the party, she questioned CeyCey, the only person that had befriended her in that first day, who Canbey was. He explained he has Azizbey’s oldest son. A famous photographer and world traveler. Quite the celebrity, and all the women are crazy about him. Sanem rolled her eyes, thinking, “Oh great, another spoiled, rich pretty boy. That’s way too full of himself.” Gulize overheard the conversation between CeyCey and Sanem, filling her in on how attractive Canbey was, working herself up into a frenzy before she was done. Sanem stared at her, not believing how animated she was. CeyCey interrupted their conversation to rushed her to get dressed, they would have to make their way to the Opera House. 

Can had arrived at the Opera House, coming straight there from the airport. His father and Emre were in the dressing room getting dressed. Aziz had eagerly awaited his son’s arrival. They hadn’t seen one another for several months. They had a close relationship, since Aziz’s wife had taken the youngest son a left the country some 20 years earlier, leaving Can and himself on their own. As Can walked down the hall to the dressing, he could hear his dad, his voice that always made him feel at home. He entered the room, ready to embrace his dad and feel the comfort of his love. They hugged and Aziz showered his son with affection. Emre also welcomed his brother, his visits seemed to always to make his father shine brighter than usual. Aziz had a special cabin setup for Can and his longtime girlfriend, Polen. Aziz was especially fond of Polen and had hopes they would one day marry and settle down in Istanbul. Aziz explained,” Can your seats are in the loggia section D-2. ” So, you can be alone. “Can shook his head saying, ” Dad, I told you Polen and I have went our separate ways some time ago. ” She won’t be coming to the celebration. ” Aziz frowned stating, ” Can, you haven’t reconciled, what has gotten into you son.” Why did you breakup? ” he asked.  Can rubbed his face in frustration, ” Dad, it just didn’t work for me anymore, I just didn’t have the desire to see her, not even a couple of times a year.” Trust me dad, she was just as happy about it as I was.” Aziz had his doubts about it being the right thing, but he had stopped trying to run his son’s life a long time ago. He would drop the subject and enjoy the time he had with his son.

Sanem was like a fish out of water, her sister was totally ignoring her, which was nothing new for her. Leila was always serious and strict with her; she was definitely the older sister…She found CeyCey and told him she needed to go to the restroom before the presentation got started. He told her the location for the employees, and he would save her a seat next to him. She hurried off to the restroom. As the group of employees went to take their seats, CeyCey realize he had given Sanem the wrong location. Hoping she would find her way; they entered the auditorium to find their seats. Sanem ran up the stairs to the location her friend had gave her, she opened the door. It was totally black inside, she tiptoed in whispering her friend’s name. ” Where is everyone?” She thought. ” I can’t see a thing” Her feet were lost, she had no idea there was a step……Oops, she was falling. Then…these arms were wrapped around her; this body was pressed against hers. ” Who was this..” she thought. Their lips touched, slightly, but it burned her lips as if they were a torch…she couldn’t move. She held her breath, feeling this man’s body, that felt like a tower of heat, igniting her. She tried to regain her composure, but he held her tight, breathing on her heavily. Finally, she broke from his arms, found the door and ran out…. she hurried down the long stairs to the floor below. 

” Who was that..” her heart was racing…..

She wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing her arms as if she had a chill….

But her body was still on fire, just from his touch…….

Chapter 2

Can stood like a statue, his thoughts clouded with this fantasy that had just erupted in his heart. Did that really just happen or was it a daydream, it couldn’t be, his body still smoldered from her touch, and the smell; A smell that was like none other. It still swirled around in his nose, making him dizzy. His mind begins to clear, he needed to find her, he bolted for the door. He stepped out into the hallway, looking both ways. ” Where had she gone, you waited too long, ” He thought. A small panic set in, but he had to hold it together, this anniversary party was very important to his dad and didn’t want to ruin it for him by running around looking for someone he had never seen. But he would find her……

Sanem was plastered against the wall on the bottom floor, will all the thoughts jumbled up in her head, she decided to get a taxi and just go home. She looked for the exit, in desperate need of some fresh air. Maybe to clear her mind or was it to cool the fire that had flared up deep within her. She stepped out and let the breeze sweep around her, it felt good, but it wasn’t enough. She slid into the taxi, giving her address, she grabbed her phone to text her sister to tell her she was going home. The excuse for not feeling well, wasn’t a complete lie, but it definitely wasn’t a sick feeling. She was so tired from her first day and then this, maybe it just made her overreact, it could have been. ” I’ll be glad to get home, and just relax.” She thought. But her skin still tingled from the feel of his arms, ” What kind of feeling is this.” She wondered, as she shuddered at her thoughts….

Aziz and Emre handled all the guests, thanking them for attending. Their dad had pushed himself hard the last few months, just preparing for this event. His health was taking a toll on him. The thoughts of a much-needed vacation was very tempting, but he knew Emre couldn’t run the agency alone. And he would never ask Can to put his career on hold to take his place as head of the company. So, his time off would have to wait. Can had caught up with his longtime friend, and the agency’s lawyer, Metin. They were like brothers, had been through everything together. He was eager to catch up on his friend’s life. With Aziz and Emre satisfying their duties as hosts, they found Can and called for the car to take them home.  Can and Metin made plans to meet before Can took off on his next adventurous job somewhere in the world… 

Can’s thoughts were obviously not there with them, as they sat by the pool with their drinks. He was someplace else, his eyes were fixed and glazed. Aziz stared at his son, wondering where his thoughts were, he had asked the same question three times and he still hadn’t heard him. Emre was quite amused by it so he reached over, giving him hard shake. ” Where did you go, and who were you with? ” He teased, laughing. ” That certainly wasn’t the look of business on your mind.” …. Can shook his head, bringing his thoughts back to the present. They laughed, but Can knew what was on his mind, was no laughing matter. He had to find that woman…. but how, all he knew was her smell. Would he have to go around smelling all the women at the agency? I hardly think so….and besides there were many women there weren’t associated with the agency. So, he had his work cut out for him…

Emre excused himself early, saying he had some urgent business to take care of, with a smile and a wink at Can he said his good nights. The look on his dad’s face told the story to Can, his dad was tired, and he couldn’t hide it. Aziz questioned his son about his assignments, wanting to know all the details of his exciting life, the life that kept him drifting around, not able to settle down and return to Istanbul and their family. Can knew these questions were leading to his never-ending request for him to come back home and be close to him again. Can was concerned about his father, he had looked different on this visit, more fatigued and his eyes were dull with worry. Asking his dad how he felt, Aziz quickly assured him all was well, ” Nothing a long vacation wouldn’t fix.” He smirked…. Can studied him, saying ” Then take that vacation, you’ve been talking about it for a couple of years now.” What’s stopping you?”  Aziz looked at his son and stated, ” Just the agency, it takes so much of my time, it’s finally on top now and I’ve got to keep it there.”  Emre can’t run the creative side, nor does he want to.” He took a deep breath, leaned his head back against the lounge chair, “Emre’s much too busy with the finances to learn the creative side. and besides, he doesn’t have the talent for it “….Can hated seeing his dad like this, should he offer to run things for a while so he could get away?  He would have to think about it, and….it might give him time to find that woman in his head….

Sleep couldn’t come for Sanem, when she closed her eyes, she relived the event over and over in her head. It all felt so real, but a feeling was all it was. The feeling of his touch, his breath on her, and his beard, his beard…. Yes, he had a beard, she shouted in her mind.  She remembered the tickle of his beard as his lips met hers and slightly grazed across. The memory brought her goosebumps, and a flutter in her stomach. She even giggled out loud at the thought. ” My god Sanem,” she thought, ” this is ridiculous.” It’s not like you have never been kissed before” Adin has kissed you before, and on the lips, so what’s the big deal……Just stop thinking about it. You’ll never know who it was anyway…. how would you know? 

Aziz told Can goodnight and retired to his bedroom, leaving Can alone. He always slept better outside, in the open, with the air blowing around him. It was the capture of nature that made him happy and content, or so it had been until now. That happy and excited feeling had always come from his work, but tonight a new desire had exploded within him, begging him to search for more…….

Should he stay…. stay and search for what he had been looking for all his life…….

Chapter 3

Aziz was up early, with the event the night before he was sure his office would be buzzing with calls. Everyone would be wanting to wish the company a wealthy start for the new year. There was a couple of possible new clients in the works, he was ready to begin the development stage for their new campaigns. His creative team was top notch, under the direction of Ms.Deren, they could tackle anything. Can came in the door as Aziz was making his coffee, ” Good morning dad, are you well today?” He asked. Aziz was surprised to see his son up and around do early, he answered, ” I’m well son, thank you, how did you sleep?” Can told him he had slept outside, and it was great. Aziz knew Can always preferred to sleep outdoors, it seemed to keep him calm. Can made his tea and sat with his father. ” Dad, I might have a solution for you, if you would like to hear.” Aziz nodded for him to continue, ” I know you need a vacation, and you have been putting it off for some time now.” I think you need to go and rest, take care of yourself for once.” I’ll stay here and take care of the agency until you return.” It’s the least I can do. What do you say?”  Aziz was beyond belief, this was a generous offer, and he knew it wasn’t made lightly. Can had always been attentive to his own business, so an offer like this, he knew, came from his heart…

Sanem had a sluggishness about her that morning. She tossed and turned all night, she felt like she had run a marathon. Her second day at the agency beckoned her, but she hoped it didn’t have same intensity as the day before. She longed for a nice quite day, but first she would meet Adin. He would be anxious to hear about her first day at work. They always meet at the small cafe across the street from their grocery store. They drank tea and talked over their plans for the day. He was there waiting for her, he stood, as he saw her coming. Reached out his hand to her, to help her sit down. He leaned down to kiss her on the cheek, as he always did. It shocked her, not at his gesture, but at the lack of excitement that it brought to her. His touch to her hand had felt cold, or was it just her, and his lips on her cheek didn’t stir any kind of inner feeling. Not like she felt the night before. She tried not to compare the scenarios, but the difference in the way she felt them was tremendous. He smiled at her, but her heart didn’t melt, the sound of his voice didn’t make her soul sing. Was what they had, the real thing, a real love, that love that made you shudder just to think of him. ” What a time to be asking these questions,” she thought, ” But if not now…. when…

Aziz could hardly believe his ears; Can was offering to run the company and send him on vacation. The thought was so appealing, he would get on his yacht, and sail where the wind took him. He didn’t know if he could accept it or not. But Can seemed sincere about it, so what did he have to lose. His father smiled and thanked him for the offer, but he couldn’t let him give up on his own work for him. Can stood, put his hands on his dads’ shoulders and said, ” Father, I want to do this, it’s time I repay you for all the times you gave up for me.” I can do this now and you’re going to let me, got it” They both hugged and laughed. Aziz was more than thankful, Can had such a giving heart, it made him happy. They agreed, his dad would start making his plans. He had already put together a tentative route, all he had to do was confirm the times. Can asked his dad how long he thought he would be gone, he thought at least 3 months. Of course, if Can couldn’t be gone from his work that long, he would re-evaluate his course. Can thought 3 months could give him the time to do what he needed to do there, “Find that woman that had turned his heart upside down.” All was good, Can would send his employees to other assignments while he was gone. Emre walked in as the two were celebrating, they relayed the news to the younger brother, he was elated. That part of the company was a bit foreign to him and he was glad his big brother would be around for a while….

Sanem and Adin were discussing their upcoming wedding and finding a location would be the first thing on the list. ” Of course, weather permitting, we could use the small park in the center of town.” Adin suggested. ” We could set up a tent for the reception, you know we have to have food ” And music, lots of music and room to dance. He scooped up her hand and kissed it, ” I’m excited to get this thing going, but more than that, excited to get it over with,” He smiled and winked. She felt the heat of embarrassment creep up her neck to her face.  Suddenly there was this doubt, a gnawing little tickle in the pit of her stomach, and all she could think was, ” Is this the right thing, she had to be sure. ” But how would she tell. “She had nothing to judge this by, he was her first and only boyfriend, they had known each other since she was 5 years old. Yes, he was handsome, and yes. He had a decent job to provide for her, but would he make her happy for the rest of her life, in fact did he make her happy now? These questions in her mind must have radiated out through her eyes, Adin stopped, studies her face saying, ” Sanem, do you have a problem, your eyes are sad.” We don’t have to have the wedding in the park it was just an idea.” It can be just as you want, just tell me when and where, and I’ll be there.”  He joked…She smiled, and assured him her thoughts were nothing, and the park sounded perfect. He seemed to accept the answer and move on to the topic of their house, where would they live. He would start the search for their home to start the life in, it would be great, he said…

A nice big house, here in the neighborhood. Close to their parents, and his work, with lots of room for their children. But she had dreams of living in a exotic, far-away place. She would lounge on the beach, writing her novel and the man of her dreams would be lying beside her, basking in the warm sea breeze. She would gaze at him with her heart full of love. 

Was that man Adin? A few days ago, she would have said yes, but now………

Chapter 4

It was time for her to be on her way to work, she wouldn’t want to be late the second day. Adin hugged her as she rushed away to catch the bus. He noticed her mind seemed to be someplace else, she wasn’t much in the mood to talk about their upcoming marriage. He realizes she was probably tired from her first day and then the late party, tonight they would make all their decisions. Their life together, would be everything they wanted. He hoped their feelings for each other would grow, he knew she had her reservations, but sometimes, that blinding love wasn’t everything. Just wanting to be with someone was all that was meant to be. The heart would know what was best. 

Sanem prayed that today would be better. Ms. Deren had taken an instant dislike of her, making Sanem uneasy and causing her to make a lot of mistakes. It was a good thing she was mainly in charge of fetching their drinks and making an occasional copy of a file. It was always busy and fast paced, and Leila had constantly threatened her to not embarrass her. Her sister was the assistant to Emrebey, he took care of the financial area. But she had yet to meet Canbey, the other son. The one everybody gushed over, she was anxious to see what all the excitement was about. Those beautiful people, the ones that had it all, money, fame and the looks. They were the ones that flaunted everything they had, and then some…. She wasn’t bitter or jealous, just reserved, curious about how those people presented themselves. 

Can arrived in the agency with his father. They would make the announcement that Azizbey would take his long-awaited vacation and Can would take over the helm while he was gone. Emre was relieved, knowing the creative side of the business was the hardest, he hadn’t wanted that responsibility. Keeping the finances straight was enough for him, they left him plenty of time for his playboy antics, he had to have time to play the field..The trio was met with a round of applause when they entered the office. With Sanem arriving right behind them, hoping that Ms. Deren didn’t notice she was 10 minutes late, she ducked in and went straight to the coffee bar. Her first duty of the day was to make Deren’s coffee and deliver it to her office. The employees were happy to see Can and the welcome was exuberant. She could hear Azizbey making a speech of some type, wasn’t able to hear it. The cheers erupted, but she still didn’t know what was going on. As she finished the coffee for Deren, she felt a body behind her, she turned to see this tall, handsome and muscular man standing there. He was asking her for tea, and would she bring it to his office. She stared, ” Wow,” she thought, “where was this guy yesterday.” He smiled, ” Excuse me, did you hear what I said.” If you could, please. He nodded. She swallowed hard, nodded her head and turned to fix his tea. Can started off down the hall, with all eyes glued to him. She grabbed the tray to carry the coffee and the tea, quickly she started towards Me. Deren’s office. But where was his office? And who was he, she thought, ” That’s great, you didn’t even ask where his office was.” You’re going to get fired before you get your first paycheck.”…

She saw her sister and asked her if she knew who the tall, muscular man with long hair was. Leila rolled her eyes, shook her head, ” Thats Canbey, Azizbey’s son. He’s taking over the company while Azizbey goes on vacation for a few months.” She spouted, ” Don’t you listen to anything. “ Sanem squinted her eyes, and gritted her teeth saying, ” I was making the coffee thank you, and didn’t catch it.”  Well, where’s his office, he’s wanted tea” She stated. Leila showed her the way, telling her, ” Just take the tea, set it on his desk, and walk away,” she scoffed. ” Don’t try to make any of your small talk.” Don’t embarrass me.” Sanem tapped on the door, waiting for the ok to enter. They waved her in, she placed the tea on his desk and turned to leave, when Azizbey, stopped her. He smiled, ” Aren’t you the new employee, Sanem, isn’t it.” He asked. She bowed and nodded her head saying ” Yes, Sanem, my name is Sanem.” Thank you for the opportunity to work here. “Aziz welcomed her and wished her the best. Can also welcomed her to the company and thanked her for the tea, flashing her the killer smile that took her breath away. She quickly turned and exited the office.

Yep, just as I thought, a handsome and rich man, all full of himself. And he’s going to be running this place for a while. He probably doesn’t have the slightest idea what’s he’s doing.  But I will say one thing, the handsome part is right…She laughed, what’s going on, the last couple of days have been full of surprises. First the party with the most unexpected, delightful encounter, and now him. She was definitely being tested…Her inner voice was yelling at her, ” Just keep your mind on your job, you’re not here for anything other than the money.” For once she agreed with that voice. Her voice of reason, when her heart wanted to take over. 

Aziz had his plans all in order. The yacht was being stocked and readied to take off. Can was happy his dad was able do this now, and he was glad to take over for him. What he really wanted, was to find the woman from the party the night before. It was a movie playing over and over in his mind. But it surely had him hooked, like he had never been before. It was fate…it had to be. What else would have brought her into the wrong loggia, maybe luck had something to do with it. Whatever it was, he was glad it happened…. Can was going over the files of the new prospective clients, trying to regain his creative spirit. ” He sure could use some more tea, that new girl could brew a mean cup of chia.” He thought. He stuck his head out the door and asked Gulize for Sanem. ” Would you ask her to bring me another cup of her delicious tea.” Please, if she doesn’t mind.” Gulize immediately relayed the message. She dropped what she was doing and started to the coffee bar to make his tea, ” Hmm,” she thought, ” He likes my tea,” looks like I’m doing something right….and he’s polite on top of that”….

She fixed his tea and walked to his office, not seeing him at his desk, she softly knocked as she opened the door. He was stretched out on the sofa, with files laying on top of him, she startled him, making him jump and the files falling to the floor.  Setting the tea on the table, she bent down to pick up the files, ” I’m so sorry,” she said, flustered with herself. ” Let me help you.” Can reached for the files on the floor, his body brushed against hers. The touch was warm, causing him to flinch. He had never felt that before, she immediately turned to him, and her eyes told him she had felt it too. Her smell drifted around him, ” That’s the smell, I know that smell” He’s mind raced. ” It’s the same smell, it can’t be. 

The look in his eyes caught her off guard, it was a strange look…. like he had just seen a ghost. 

Chapter 5

She felt that heat, not just from the touch of him, but the heat down in her soul. His eyes searched her’s as if he already knew her. Is this some kind of crazy coincidence, that feeling from the night before, and this feeling today. Was it deja vu, the same reaction to two different occasions. She quickly stood, apologizing for her clumsiness and hurried out the door. Can sat there, stunned and in disbelief, is it possible she was the woman from the night before. The smell was the same, it was just as intoxicating as before, that electric current that had ran through him last night, just happened again. So…it had to be her. She was breathtakingly beautiful, so unique and delicate. And I let her walk out the door…. don’t jump to conclusions. What if this is some freak accident of nature, and she was a fragment of my imagination.  

Sanem was completely confused as to what just happened. She was simply taking tea to the boss’s son, and then she had this fantastic feeling literally overtake her. There’s no explanation for it, it was the same burning heat that she had experienced before. Either he’s the same man from the opera house, or she’s losing her mind. It’s more the probability that she’s losing her mind, than that rich, spoiled man being the one from the opera house. She escaped to the restroom, just in case her would come out looking for her. She could tell by his look, he had experienced the same feeling, and was just as confused about it. She sighed, ” This is just great, second day on the job and I’ve already made a fool out of myself…. how am I going to look him in the eye again…Actually, she thought with a slight smile, he’s not that hard to look at, he’s abnormally gorgeous. I hope Leila doesn’t find out about this; she will kill me…….

Can, under much conviction, strolled out to the work area, glancing about at everyone’s work. Trying to be as casual as possible, as not to bring attention to himself. He scanned the whole room, his eyes darting about, looking for her. Not seeing her, he sauntered back toward his office, giving CeyCey a high five on the way.  His thoughts had numbed his brain, where had she gone. Had he dreamed it? No, because he was drinking the tea she brought, and his arm still tingled with electricity from their touch. He plopped down in his chair, laid his head back and closed his eyes, ” Get it under control, she works here so you’ll have to see her again.” And you will be better prepared for the next time. Just ask for tea again, she’ll have to bring it because that’s her job….

She had composed herself and returned to the work floor. Ms. Deren was calling her name in a panic, ” Where have you been,” she ordered. Sanem shook her head, explaining she was in the restroom, and ask what she could do for her. She handed her a stack of files to take to the archive room to be filed. Sanem breathed a sigh of relief, at least she would be away from the offices for a while, just in case he would want more tea…. She took her time with the filing, the longer she stayed there the least likely to encounter him again today. She didn’t think she could take another heated eruption of emotion like that today.  The ringing of her phone, halted her daydreaming, seeing it was her mom, she answered quickly, ” Mom how are you, what do you need? ” she asked. ” Sanem, make sure you come straight home after work, and tell Leila too.” Adin is coming for dinner and the wedding plans have to get going.” There’s lots of stuff to do, so don’t be late.” She stated. Sanem agreed and she would make sure they made it home on time. She looked at the time, just one more hour and this day would be behind her. 

Ms. Deren was shrieking about, in her usual rant, when Can came out of his office. He had never understood her tension for this job, she was an excellent creative director, had developed and presented many successful campaigns in her time with the agency, but still she carried her excitement to the brink. He tried to calm her, but she was in an outrage over the new employee, that seemed to always be missing. CeyCey, told her, ” Ms. Deren, you sent her to the archive with some files, don’t you remember. Can knew she was talking about Sanem and was relieved to know where she had been. Deren ordered CeyCey to go find her and bring her to her office. He knew she had Ill feelings towards Sanem but didn’t understand why. His thoughts were, she considered her the competition. Sanem being a young, beautiful and bright woman, brought doubt to Deren. CeyCey hurried off to get Sanem before Ms. Deren lost her mind.

Sanem was trying to explain to CeyCey as they made their way to Deren’s office, that she was doing exactly what she was told to do. CeyCey understood, be there’s was stopping her when she was in this kind of mood. Sanem rushed into her office with an explanation ready, Deren quickly hushed her, holding her hand up as a signal for silence. I’m not interested in your excuses, I just need you to take this presentation and make copies for all the members of the creative team, Canbey, Emrebey and myself. Sanem nodded, asking how many members there were on the creative team. With a roll of her eyes Deren spewed, ” And how long have been working here, you don’t even know how many’s on our team.” Sanem turned red with embarrassment and dropped her head. Can was witnessing this all from the hall, thinking how unnecessary that it had been. CeyCey leaned over to Deren and whispered, ” Ms. Deren, this is only Sanem second day. So, she really didn’t know. Deren composted herself saying, ” Excuse me, there are eleven team members, plus the three managers, making fourteen in total. Make sure these are done and ready before you leave tonight. 

With 20 minutes before time to go home, she knew it would be impossible to do it all within that time. Sanem ask if she could come in early in next morning to prepare files, that she had an important engagement after work and needed to leave on time. Ms. Deren smiled, tilted her head, saying ” Pardon, I’m sorry that your work assignments are getting the way of your personal life, but that will not be possible.” What could be so important, that you would only halfway do your job.” Ms. Deren, my fiancé is coming for dinner tonight, and our wedding details will be planned.” So, if I could leave on time tonight, I would greatly appreciate it.”  She stated.

The words echoed in his head, fiancé, wedding plans…..Wouldn’t you know it.

She’s engaged…

Chapter 6

She really needed to be home right away after work, but Ms. Deren didn’t seem to care. She could tell by the look on her face, there’s was no need to argue with her, her mind was made up. Can observed the confrontation, he struggled in his mind as to whether to step in and override Deren authority but thought better of it. He walked back to his office, confused and disappointed. A fiancé, hmm, he never thought about that. He knew he needed to know more about her, but this put a different perspective on things. Sanem gathered the files and went to the copier, grabbing her phone, she quickly called her mom to relay the message. Leila walked up and overheard the conversation with their mom. She knew the wrath of Ms. Deren, and the trouble she could cause if she didn’t like you. She offered to stay and help her, to be able to get it done faster, but Sanem refused and had her go home to help their mom prepare the dinner. As Can left for the evening, he stopped and watched her from across the office floor, this feeling of wanting to protect her overwhelmed him. She was deeply involved in the task at hand and didn’t notice him at first, but she begins to feel that uneasy feeling, it made her shutter, then she saw him. Their eyes couldn’t avoid each other, she couldn’t look away, even from across that large room, she felt like her stomach was doing flips. 

After several seconds, Can finally turned and walked on to the door. She watched him as he strode down the hall thinking, ” Oh my, his walk is even magnificent, I’ve never seen anything like it before.” Her mind raced, her face was hot with embarrassment, ” What are you doing Sanem, you have a man, and you’re going to be married.”  This is wrong to be thinking such thoughts of another man.” She swiped her hand in front of her face, as if to clear the unwanted thoughts from her mind. Can sat in his truck, feeling a huge sense of guilt over letting Deren take advantage of her like that. His first thought was to tell Deren to let her come in early the next morning to make the copies, but…. that also meant she would go home and start making the plans for her marriage. Was he trying to keep her from doing that, maybe just for a day or two, until he could get to know her a bit better. Was that wrong, what was that going to prove. He of sure she had felt the same spark between them that he had. What if this was meant to be, and he had done nothing to get to know her. That would be even more wrong, to go against fate. 

Sanem was finally done with the files and everything was placed on Ms. Deren’s desk. Only an hour and a half late, maybe it wouldn’t ruin the entire evening. She hailed a taxi instead of taking the bus, to save time. They had waited dinner for her, and the topic of the night. Adin was a very welcomed guest in their home. He had been in their family for many years, so the acceptance of their marriage had been natural. They seemed to be a perfect fit, but there was a lot about Sanem that Adin didn’t know. For instance, her deep desire to write her love story, her own novel of her most intimate thoughts. She had never discussed with him the fact she kept a diary and wrote down all the thoughts of her heart. How she thought her life in love would be. The magic of a love that could withstand the test of time, but they seemed to be just fantasies of her mind. How did she know how to write about love, she wasn’t even sure if what she felt for Adin was love. But from what everyone else told her, it was the natural thing to feel confused or not sure about it, and in time she would develop those magical moments. Sanem was sure they were right, ” She had one of the most desirable men in their neighborhood, what more could she want…

The dinner table was the place to discuss everything, the best decisions were made there. The conversation involved talking about the location first, and Adin again suggested the park in the center of their neighborhood, it was large enough, and the area was beautiful. With a few lights strung from tree to tree, and some flowers brought in, it would transform into a tropical paradise. Mevkibe and Nihat both agreed, the location just might be perfect, but Sanem was hesitant. She wasn’t sure if she wanted her wedding out in the open like that, for everyone in the world to see. Maybe a little more discreet, private, more personal and intimate. But where would that place be, they asked her. She didn’t have an answer, but if she had some time, she would find that natural and beautiful place. Adin frowned, ” Sanem, I don’t want to wait much longer. How much time are you talking about.?” Her throat was dry, and her mind was busy, she said, ” Well I don’t know, I’ll have to think about it. I really want it to be right. “Annoyed, Adin spoke, ” We have already waited 4 months, I would really like to set our plans in action soon.” And I have a house for us to go look at tomorrow after your work.” Can we do that?” Sanem’s heart beat fast and hard, ” A house, tomorrow, well I guess, if something doesn’t come up at work, you know like today.” He’s not wasting any time is he, ” she thought. I don’t know if I’m quite ready for this yet. This just makes me nervous, it’s a lot of changes at one time.

Adin didn’t like the job in the first place, now it’s beginning to hinder them making their wedding plans. He was adamant, ” Do I need to go to your office and talk to them, I won’t have you working late every night, and having to come home late and alone.” I will be more than happy to come and escort you home if you work late.” He scoffed. ” In fact, that’s exactly what I’m going to do.” Sanem was shocked, she had never known Adin to be so assertive, and demanding. There seemed to be a lot they didn’t know about each other, and being possessive was one of them. This made her uneasy, she had that feeling of being forced, and it was raising a red flag. Where was her inner voice when she needed it…….

Should she be alarmed, what were her feelings for him. Were they strong enough, but more than that….

Were they the right feelings…

Chapter 7

Sanem stuttered, ” No, Adin, that won’t be necessary, I’ll take care of it.” I just meant it might be a possibility, that I would have to work late.” She fumbled with her fork, looking around at her sister, that was glaring at her in wonder. Mevkibe stood, grabbed Sanem by the arm and led her to the other room. ” What has gotten into you girl, you don’t want to upset Adin like that.” He is to be your husband; show him the respect he deserves.” She spouted. Sanem sighed, ” Mom, I know, I didn’t mean it that way, just calm down.” We’ll go look at that house if that’s what you want.” Mevkibe shook her head saying, ” Daughter, I just will never understand you, why you make problems when there shouldn’t be, and now the finding of the place for the wedding.” You can’t wait much longer. Adin is anxious to start your lives together, are you not too.” Sanem patted her mother’s hand, ” Ok mommy, I’m sorry, I will select a wedding place quickly, don’t worry.” Her mouth had gone dry, and her thoughts of marriage had all of a sudden terrified her. What was going on, she had so many doubts all of a sudden, and the lack of that excitement down deep inside her when she looked an Adin was more than concerning to her. 

They returned to the dinner table, with Nihat and Adin both looking at her with questions, she smiled and assured them all was fine…she would pick the location promptly and the next step would be the house, then the dress. Mevkibe smiled proudly, she knew her daughter was making the right choice. Adin sighed with relief, ” Good my dear, let’s finalize these plans and move on.” We have a whole life of happiness to live.” He said smiling. She looked at her sister with the look of defeat glooming in her eyes. Leila knew that look. Sanem always wanted to please everyone, it was just her nature, but this wasn’t something to be passive about, this was her life. They would have to have a talk, she needed to find out what was going on. The rest of the dinner passed without issue, and finally the evening was over. Adin and Sanem walked out to the front steps, he cradled her face in his hands. ” My one and only, how hard it is to say goodbye, but soon our days and nights will be as one.” He whispered, ” This is our dream, and we are about to start living it.” He kissed her lightly on her forehead, saying goodnight. She watched him walk down the street as she had so many times before, ” Nothing….she had felt nothing. Why was she so aware of this now.” Where was that explosion of desire, the excitement of her future and their lives together. ” She was confused with what she felt, or in fact, what she didn’t feel. What would she do, she prayed it would come, the fire that would burn her skin, as he touched her, that feeling of breathlessness as he whispered to her, that dizziness from his smell. She had experienced that twice, that’s what she wanted from Adin, that’s what she needed from him. She had to trust her instincts, he was the right person for her and everything else would fall into place.

Can drove home with the thoughts of Sanem roaming in his head. Two days and two encounters, it had to mean something. He was grasping at anything to justify the feelings he felt. She affected him so strongly, it was unbelievable. Never had he experienced these feelings, so powerful and defined, and the need to know more about her filled his mind. Knowing he didn’t have much time, with her pending marriage possibly right around the corner, he was eager for the next workday to start. Tea seemed to be the only thing they had in common now, but he would see that had changed. All these plans flying about….it made him dizzy, just recalling the last spark of contact he had with her made him sweat. Yes, she was special, every ounce of him said so, and he would be a fool not to act on it….and Can Divit was no fool…….But she was engaged, so he would need to tread lightly but quickly, he knew the traditional turkish engagement didn’t last long. 

Sanem’s sleepless night of tossing and turning was evident. Leila even commented on her lack of enthusiasm at going to work. She was annoyed, who really likes going to work anyway, she thought as they made their way to the bus stop. ” Only my sister is obsessed with her work, and only because she is infatuated with Emrebey, and why, I don’t know. ” she thought. He was definitely a womanizer and was proud of it. But she wouldn’t hurt her feelings by saying that out loud. The thought of seeing Canbey brought anxiety to her, she would have to take his tea, she knew that, and the embarrassment from yesterday still lingered. Talk about a womanizer, he was one, maybe it ran in the family. As hard as she tried to find fault with him, the same scenarios flipped through her mind. That touch was real, and his look seemed real, but why did she let it affect her like that. No….she wasn’t looking forward to work today, or any other day for that matter. She didn’t know what she was looking forward to, the dreams of her heart were slipping away, and she was afraid they would be lost forever.  She would drift along in life, letting someone else’s dream become hers, and she would be swallowed up in a life that she wasn’t meant to have. But it was too late for an epiphany of her life, promises were made, and she was expected to abide. What kind of tragedy would she bestow on her family if she was to run away from this responsibility. They would all be devastated, most of all Adin, and that is something she would hate to do. 

So….Sanem, suck it up, look on the bright side, he is a good man, he wants to build a life with you and he’s a good looking. What more do you want………

What more do I want? Love..filled with a burning desire for happiness……

Chapter 8

Can’s night was filled with thoughts, how he could find a way to be around Sanem more. Maybe a special project that would require her help. It would need to be something that wasn’t too obvious, he didn’t want everybody in the office to be suspicious. There was some work that needed to be done in the archive room, he had wanted to turn it into a training room for new hires. It would be perfect for computer training and teaching how to develop a campaign. It was quiet and out of the way from the hustle and bustle of the main floor. They had talked about for quite some time, but his dad had never taken the time to implement it. All it would take is rearranging the files and moving the desks. Bringing in some long tables and some chairs. A good days work, maybe two, what better way to get to know somebody than working in a secluded room together for a couple of days…. He couldn’t wait to get to work and get the job going.

Sanem dropped her things off at her closet and made her way to the drink station. CeyCey had already made the coffee, but the tea was always left to her. If there was one thing she could do, it was making a great cup of tea, she thought proudly, even the boss liked it. As she poured her a cup of tea, the intense feeling of someone standing behind her made her shiver. Then she heard his voice, ” Good morning Sanem, could you bring me a cup of tea to my office please, when you get a chance.” She turned to see Canbey, smiling, he nodded his head to her in a thank you as he swung around and walked towards his office. She stood, with her mouth open, and watched him stride to his office. Deren was close behind, chattering on about something or other, that he didn’t seem at all interested in. Sanem blinked her eyes, ” What a sight, ” she thought, Womanizer or not, he is definitely a man you would want to look at. “There she was again, thinking all these thoughts in her mind, when she already had a husband to be, just waiting for her. She grabbed his tea and started his way, the closer she got, the heavier she breathed, her nerves couldn’t take much more. ” Ok, she demanded, ” In with the tea, put it on his desk, don’t make eye contact and walk out. No more, no less.” Ms. Deren was still in with him, she tapped on the door as she walked in. Deren stopped, stared at her with fire, and said, ” Sanem, you are to wait outside the door until Canbey gives you permission to enter, and you will not bring tea unless you are told. ” Do you understand.” Can quickly stood, looked at Deren with anger saying, ” She is doing exactly what I ask her to do, there’s no need to be so rude.” He smiled at Sanem, taking the tea from her hands, how motioned for her to sit. Sanem panicked, ” Why does he want me to sit down, am I going to get fired, oh…. I can’t be. 

Can sat down as well, looking across the desk at her. ” Sanem, we really haven’t been formally introduced, she I would like to welcome you to the agency myself. ” If I might, I need to ask a favor from you.” He asked. I have just cleared it with Ms. Deren, so I was wondering if I could get your help on a special project.”  She felt the heat rise through her body, just to look at him made her skin tingle with goosebumps. She smiled at him, or she thought that’s what she was doing, she felt like she had lost control. ” Of course, Canbey, what would you like my help on” her voice quivered. He proceeded to explain the idea for the archive room to be transformed into a training room for new creative employees. She was fidgeting and he could tell she was nervous, that made her even more desirable. But he needed to keep his mind focused for now. 

He told her he would like to start today, and it might take a couple of days. Would she be willing to help? The request couldn’t have come at a better time, she could hide away on the bottom floor away from him, and all the feelings that rumbled around inside her.  Her answer came out instantly, ” Absolutely, you can count on me,” she chimed, and when would you like for me to get started.” She asked. ” Great.” He stated, “Let’s get started right after the morning meeting. She left his office, happy for the chance to do something meaningful. Her mind was full of creativeness, but she knew Ms. Deren would block any kind of input from her, so working on this would be great. ” I wonder who I’ll be helping,” She thought, ” Maybe CeyCey or Gulize, whoever it is it will be fun.” I’m really ready for some fun.” The morning meeting was always boring, it was more for the people working on the campaigns, it didn’t have much to do with her.  As soon as it was over, she headed for the archive room, anxious to get started. She waited for someone to come with the details of what was to go on. The archive room was an intriguing place, all the old printers and copiers that were past their useable time. All the files and cabinets full of old campaigns ideas. It was like a museum of the agency’s history. What would they do with all this old stuff, it would be a shame to throw it all away. 

As she rummaged through the tons of files, Canbey came in the door, ” Good, you’re here,” Shall we get started.” He exclaimed. He gazed at her, taking in her beauty, this was a perfect plan, he thought, the smell of her perfume had mingled with the smell of the discarded files and folders. It was an intoxicating aroma…. she was an intoxicating woman. She sent the feeling of desire to his heart, an unknown casualty of the soul. This was a new world for him, and he would discover it with happiness. Sanem stared at Can saying, ” So I’m helping you.” Are you sure you need me to help. “This was stirring every feeling imaginable within her, her first instinct was to run, but her feet seemed to be glued to the floor.  Her eyes were fixed on him, she hoped the terror didn’t show. How would she be able to work here with him all day and be in her right mind. His eyes met hers, they burned like coal, so much it made her weak. 

His eyes soften…. delivering an aura of calm. 

Yes Sanem….I wouldn’t want anyone else…….

Chapter 9

His look was true and and intense. She looked down, with her face a bit pink with embarrassment, but her ego slightly inflated. He clapped his hands together and exclaimed, ” Ok, let’s get started, ” What do you say.”  He smiled this irresistible smile and she melted. They jumped right in, moving desks, cleaning the filing cabinets out. The piles of unwanted folders had grown to a heap. He pulled a stack of papers from one cabinet and tossed them in the floor, they plopped themselves down in the middle of them all to sort through. The conversation between the two had been light, he asked her general questions about her family, just to get the feel for her. He gave her information about his work and some of the places he had been. She was enthralled with what he told her. As they sat on the floor, sorting the folders, she revealed her dreams to him. ” I’m going to write a novel,” she stated with a smile, “That’s my dream, to move off to a beautiful exotic place and write.” Her face took on a magical glow as she voiced her innermost desires to him. He couldn’t take his eyes off her, ” Where has she been all of my life,” he thought, this unusual and sensual woman.” He knew whatever she wrote would be fantastic and he couldn’t wait to read it. 

Sanem had never revealed so much of herself to anyone so quickly before, but he was so easy to talk to. She had misjudged him, he was not at all the spoiled, self-centered rich guy she thought him to be. He made her want to tell him everything, she told him stories of her life growing up in the neighborhood, the good and the bad. They laughed, they enjoyed each other, so much that it was quite a surprise to her. For hours they work and talked, getting to know one another. He was in awe of her, her mind worked in such a special way, it amazed him. It had passed the time for lunch, the time had flown by, he asked if she was hungry, ” Sanem , are you hungry, I’m staving. ” Let’s order pizza and eat as we work, is that ok with you? “She nodded in agreement; she too was starving. He ordered and she went upstairs to get their tea. Her mood was jubilant, she entire office was staring at her as she made their tea. Ms. Deren walked up to her, leaned in close to her and whispered, ” Sanem, my dear, watch what you do.” I would hate for you to lose your job over some useless mistake and have your heart crushed. “She smiled, patted Sanem on the shoulder and walked back to her office. She grabbed their tea and hurried back to the archive room. He had cleared a spot on the floor, spread out an old blanket that had been stored down there, and sitting there waiting for her. He smiled as she entered the room, it made her weak in the knees. He reached for his tea, then for hers, and helped her to sit down on the blanket. His mind was boggled with all he had found out about her, but not once had he mentioned a fiancé or marriage. Maybe it wasn’t foremost in her mind…. he was hoping.

The pizza arrived, he spread it out and they dived into it like they hadn’t eaten in days. It was the best pizza he had ever eaten; the company was the best and the tea, well…. he just couldn’t get enough. He felt the easiness between the two of them, the way it seemed so natural, them eating, laughing and enjoying each other.  She was telling him some story about her and her friend Ayhan, the details had avoided him, but her animation in talking about it filled his heart with joy. All he could do was smile; how did she make him so happy. He wondered. This kind of happiness had been so foreign to him. The thought of the day ending was already bringing him pain. But if he was lucky, he could stretch this task out a couple more days. Allowing him more time alone with her and letting them find that special bond. They were both engrossed in the story as they reached for the last piece of pizza, their hands collided and then stuck together as if they were magnets, bringing a halt to their conversation. His fingers gently slide over the top of her hand, it brought a chill to her that made her shutter. His eyes couldn’t leave hers; this woman brought him alive. She stirred all his senses, and he could tell he did the same to her. A look of, “the need to know more,” circled each of them. Her heart was pounding, ” Why can’t I move my hand, ” she thought frantically. The sound of her beating heart echoed in her head, her chest felt tight and restricted. He held the firm hold on her hand, the look from his eyes captivated her, and without hesitation she returned the gesture by gently squeezing his hand. 

It was no more than seconds, but the feeling was that of an eternity. It was powerful and meaningful, for both. Just a touch of a finger had erupted the possibility of so much. She loved it……that feeling, it was just like the last time they touched. ” What does this mean, ” she thought, her mind was foggy, but the feeling was clear…. did he feel it too. In her deepest self she hoped he did. The silence grew as their touch intensified. The sound of a voice broke their touch, ” Sanem, what are you doing here, are you ok” Adin spewed, ” What’s going on.” They both jumped, Sanem tried to compose herself, with the contact quickly broken, she jumped to her feet. ” Adin, she stuttered, what are you doing here? “ The look from his eyes crushed her, the doubt she saw from him shamed her.  With unexpected calmness he said, ” Have you forgotten, our date with the realtor to view our possible new home.” He defiantly gazed at Can, as if to stake his territory with only a glance. Can’s eyes refused to look away, he was strong with his look of opposition. Sanem was uneasy and started to explain herself, but Adin raised his hand to silence her. ” There’s no need to explain Sanem, ” he said, ” Let’s just go, we’re running late.” He took her hand and pulled her in front of him, she shifted her eyes to Can, with a look of longing, she turned to walk out. Adin hesitated, that one last look bore into Can, with determination, but more than that, Can saw fear……And they were gone…

Can stared at the door forever….so that was him, the fiancé she didn’t talk about. 

He smiled, recalling that last look from her…….

Chapter 10

There was not a word spoken as they made their way to the front door. He had his arm wrapped around Sanem’s arm, firmly, it seemed he was afraid she might run away. She glanced at him, but he didn’t return the look. His face was strained and tight, his eyes were squinted, and one had a slight twitch. This look was new, in all the years she had known his, he had never shown this side of himself. What had he seen, did he see their eyes and the feelings that exploded from them. Would she have to explain the touching of their hands, if she did, she would have to lie. She was even too embarrassed to admit to herself what their touch had been. They reached his car, still in silence, he opened the door for her, refusing to look her in the eyes. Her concern was growing, he had never been violent, but she had never given any reason to be. She didn’t like what was happening, she hadn’t done anything wrong. 

Adin got in on his side, placed both hands on the wheel and with a firm voice, asked, ” Sanem I will ask you one time and one time only, what was going on with that man. ” Answer me true with no hesitation.” Sanem swallowed hard, looked at him and said, ” That man is my boss and he asked me to help him with a special project, we lost track of time and missed lunch, so he ordered pizza. That’s it, that’s all it was.” She was glad he hadn’t looked her in the face, or he might have realized she was lying. He started the car, he nodded his head as to except her explanation, and they drove away. Sanem turned and watched out the window, ” What had she done, lying so easily, it made her uncomfortable. 

Can cleaned up from the pizza, folded the blanket and returned it to the cabinet. He smiled as the day floated along in his mind. She was so special, everything about her made him happy. This plan would work, he would make sure of it. That last look at him as she went out the door, it told the story, she wanted more. But….the look from her fiancé said something different, he saw the fear blaze up in his eyes. He thought of Can as a threat, it was obvious. This was not his usual form of, getting to know someone, but he was willing to do anything for her. Tomorrow is another day, we’ll see how it goes, if they are looking at houses it means the wedding is soon. He would have to work fast, and he hoped there wouldn’t be any more interruptions from her fiancé. He always respected the sanctions of an engagement, but this was a desperate situation. It was fate, his heart was in charge, and they hadn’t yet made their vow before God. Would they have met that night in that dark room, would their bodies have touched and sparked that fire, would he have breathed that scent of overwhelming desire, if this wasn’t meant to be. 

By the time they had arrived at the house, Adin had calmed down some. Still not talking to her, they took their tour of the house. It was a beautiful home, large rooms and bright. With 3 bedrooms it was large enough to start their family. He was very interested in the home but hadn’t consulted Sanem about it yet. Her stomach was nervous, this was a big step, and she wasn’t sure if she was ready. She felt she was on a roller coaster of what her life would be. She had been so sure of her decisions, so sure Adin was the right man to be her husband. Her parents urged her to settle down with him and give up her silly dream of being a writer and traveling the world. Was it a silly dream? She didn’t want to think so, if she didn’t have her dreams then what did she have. A life of regret and doubt, of what could have been. Adin didn’t even know about her dream to be a writer, what would he say if she told him. Her first thought was, he would be critical, as her parents were. He wanted his life to be as his parents and her parents had lived. She had known no other until a few days ago, a near fall in a dark room had changed her life. He was looking at her, she jumped and brought her mind back to reality. She smiled at him, but he was solemn, he asked her, ” Sanem where were you, I asked you a question twice and you didn’t hear me.” She hung her head, wishing to disappear from his demanding gaze. ” I’m sorry Adin, what was it, your question.” She babbled. He sighed a deep sigh and asked, “What do you think of the house, you haven’t said a word about it. “I like it myself. “He said. ” I think we can make it work.” Sanem hesitated, ” Well I’m not sure, I don’t like the back garden, it’s way too small.” Maybe we could look around a bit more.” I really want it to be perfect.” She smiled at him, forcing him to return the smile. He nodded his head and went to find the real estate broker. 

Can decided to stay at his cabin again, it was so peaceful and serene. His cares of the world seemed less when he was there, and he could hear his thoughts that rambled around in his head. It made him realize the time there was precious, just like the time today with her. It had always served him well, allowing him to slow down and just enjoy life. No one had ever been there but him, his secret place of peace…. But he was thinking it might be time to share this place with someone else, open it up and let them in. His life was always a closed book, even to his ex- girlfriend, Polen. His heart stayed sheltered from anyone else’s opinion. They didn’t matter, and they certainly had no say in his happiness…. But Sanem….she had opened that door of possibilities, and hope.  

Adin took Sanem home, but before she could exit the car he asked, ” Do I need to be worried about this boss of yours, the two of you seemed to be quite close when I walked in.” I’m not sure if I want you to go back to that job or not.”  Sanem quickly turned, ” Adin, I told you, we were just eating pizza. I like this job, please don’t ask me to quit.” The panic had already set in, and she didn’t know how to handle it. She had to keep working, she loved it and besides it was the only way for her to feel like she could still dream…. 

She had a lot of new feelings marching around in her heart, she wanted to explore them. She was running out of time, and the last few days had opened a new dream within her. 

It wouldn’t be too late, she thought…….only if she gave in….

Chapter 11

With it still early in the evening, Adin walked Sanem into her house. Mevkibe welcomed him with hugs and kisses, begging him to stay for dinner. Adin loved the attention her mother gave him, so he agreed quickly.  He was making a phone call to his mother to let her know he wouldn’t be home for dinner. Mevkibe patted his cheek, telling him and Sanem what a good son he was, with a heart of gold. Sanem forced a smile and excused herself to go change clothes. Once in her room, she curled up in a ball on her bed, welcoming the thoughts of the day. The whole day had been perfect, except the arrival of Adin. She smiled as she recalled the conversations her and Canbey had, he was quite funny, who would have guessed. She sat up, thinking back on Adin’s remark, of not letting her go back to her job, it really angered her. Was he really in the position to tell her whether she could work or not. She wasn’t a fan of someone telling her what to do, being a submissive little wife didn’t have much appeal to her. All these things were suddenly rearing their ugly heads and it scared her. The knock on her door brought her back from her fears, ” Who is it? ” she asked. ” It’s me Abla,” can I come in.” Leila stated. She opened the door and came in, but Sanem knew the look on her face. She was going to ridicule her about something. Her forehead was wrinkled, and her eyes were already asking questions. ” What was going on with you and Canbey today? ” She asked. 

Can started a fire, made his tea and settled on the blanket and pillows he had thrown out on the ground. It was his favorite place to think, and sleep. He was relaxed as he looked at the night sky, picturing her face outlined with the stars. His hand could still feel her touch, so soft and delicate. She wore nothing more than a simple gold band for an engagement ring, that’s why he hadn’t noticed it before. It was so beneath her, she deserved a brilliant diamond ring, something with meaning, probably an antique. This guy obviously didn’t know what he had in her, was this an arranged marriage……if it was that would explain a lot. His mind was busy, trying to visualize all the possibilities, that might lie in his way. Of course, her fiancé, he was the main factor, she hadn’t even introduced them, but she called him Adin. And I’m quite sure Adin knows who he is now. He kinda felt sorry for the guy, what he must be feeling now. Anger? Threatened? Helpless? Yes, probably all of these, he thought. And he should……

Sanem was picking at her food, not very hungry because of the pizza she had late in the day. Mevkibe was having a talk with Adin about the house they had looked at that afternoon. Sanem was preoccupied with other thoughts, those that made her smile when she hadn’t realized she was smiling. ” Sanem, why aren’t you eating, stop picking at it and finish your dinner,” her mother spouted. Adin quickly added, ” Sanem had a very late lunch picnic with her boss this afternoon, so she’s probably not that hungry.” He looked at her accusingly. She shifted her eyes from him to her mother, ” That’s right mom, I’m sorry, the lunch was late so I’m not very hungry. She shot him a look to silence him, but he continued. ” Yes, it was quite nice, they were on the floor, with their pizza spread out on a blanket. Very cozy.” Her look at him turned cold, and she felt anger build. How dare him, shame her like that in front of her parents, over nothing. The thoughts raced, ” Oh it could have been cozy, a lot cozier than what you saw. If she had let let it. ” she screamed in her mind. ” If she had gave in to that feeling, that feeling that only he demanded from her.” She was humiliated at his innuendos, and she knew her mother would have plenty to say after he left.

Leila cleared her throat as if to change the subject, then going off on the topic of a perfect place for the wedding. She had thought of the building that had once been the library, before the one was built. It would be the right size, it was an older, more traditional style building. She looked at Sanem for her acceptance of her choice. Sanem closed her eyes, then opened them with a smile, saying, ” That sounds like a possibility, I will go by there after work tomorrow and take a look. Thank you Abla for thinking of such a place…This was all closing in on her, she had to slow it down a bit. She had to think……She had to talk to Adin.  After dinner Adin helped Mevkibe with the dinner table as he always did, she loved him for that, and he knew it…. He seized every opportunity to please her and Nihat, he was beginning to think they were the only thing to assure his union with Sanem. He had noticed a change in her the past few days, she was distant and more opposed to the things he suggested. Not like herself….

She walked Adin to the door, which was a nightly occurrence. He surrounded her body with his arms saying, ” Sanem, I forgive you for your slight infidelity today, you must have gotten caught up in the charm of it all.” For such a prominent man to show you such attention.” But please don’t put yourself in a situation like that again, I may not be this forgiving the next time.” He gave her a peck on the cheek and turned to walk away.  Sanem was stunned, “Excuse me, Adin, what exactly do you think happened today? “Are you insinuating there was more than lunch going on.” I take deep offense to that and will not have you talk to me in that manner.” She spouted. Her eyes were filled with fire as he turned back to look at her. But his eyes had turned a bit dark and ominous, he was quite shocked at her tone of voice. He stepped towards her, ” I’ve said my peace, please don’t dispute my words, and let’s not make things any worse than what you have today.” Goodnight Sanem.” 

What….He has said his peace…. I’m no child, and he won’t treat me as such.

Oh…this was going to be a fight, but she was going to win.

Chapter 12

Can locked his cabin and prepared to drive into town. It would be another day with her, alone, getting to know more and more about her. That is his purpose in life at the moment, his heart is searching for hers and he wouldn’t let that search be denied. His plan would continue, but he was already thinking of what would happen next, after the archive room was transformed, then what. His thoughts of taking long walks and going to the beach filled his head. These were thoughts of someone in a relationship, he was getting ahead of himself, he knew, but not knowing how much time he had to make this woman his own was a burden on his mind. He hadn’t been this happy in years, he thought all of his travels had brought him joy, the magnificent places he had seen. But none compared to the fulfilled happiness of seeing her face. Is it possible to fall so deeply in love with someone in only three days, he believed it was. His was a love at first touch, the first taste of her lips and the smell that drove him crazy, before her ever laid eyes on her, he loved her. There’s nothing truer than that. He couldn’t wait to get to the office. 

Sanem and Leila took their morning walk to the bus stop, Sanem was deep in thought and Leila was dying to know what had happened yesterday. ” Abla I have to know what happened in the archive room with Canbey. Rumors were flying like crazy” she exclaimed. ” Did Adin catch you and Canbey together. ” Sanem scoffed, ” What are you talking about, together. We were working, cleaning up and lost track of time, so he ordered pizza. We were eating when Adin walked in….. end of story. ” What was the gossip? ” she asked. Leila scrunched up her face and shook her head, ” Oh, you know how they talk, just random stuff.” So, what did Adin say when he found you there with Canbey.” She asked.  Sanem sighed, ” He mistook the whole thing, and threatened to keep me from work if it happened again.” But he can’t do that, because I really like that job…” Leila raised her eyebrows asking, ” Are sure about that, he will be your husband and won’t that decision be his.” Sanem’s mouth flew open, and she spewed, ” What is this, the Stone Age….no he can’t make that decision. ” It’s my choice if I work or not.” She huffed. Leila thought it best to drop the subject. 

Can stopped by the bakery and picked up bagels for him and Sanem, he would make sure they had food this time. But he was planning on taking her out to lunch today, provided nothing unforeseen happened. His plan was a trip to the fish deli on the pier, it had the best fish sandwiches around and the atmosphere was great. He knew she would like it. He had never planned so many things to impress a girl in his life…. but this just was any girl…this was THE girl. Deren was coming at the same time he was, trotting along beside him to keep up with his long stride. Chatting all the way, sometimes the sound of her voice wore on him like a bad tune…He hurried to his office, and went straight to his emails, checking for any important issues that might have come up. He informed Deren she was to conduct the morning meeting without, him and Sanem would need to get started right away on the archive room. She screeched, ” Again, today, are you sure you don’t want someone else to help you, she seems to be a little scattered brained. ” Why don’t you get CeyCey, he would be more than happy to help you.” Can smiled, thanking her, but him and Sanem were working very well together, and he saw no need to change. She knew there was no need to persist if he had his mind made up. 

As Sanem walked from the bus stop to the office, her mood changed. She knew she had another day of working with Canbey, she couldn’t believe her luck. He was so different from what she had first expected. They had so much fun, she had that feeling already starting to grow in the pit of her stomach. They made their way to their closet to put up their bags, Can met her by the coffee bar, ” Good morning Sanem, hey, I brought us some bagels this morning. If you will bring the tea we can get started.” He exclaimed with a smile. She stared at him for a second, drinking in that amazing smile, until Leila nudged her and woke her up. ” Oh, yes Canbey, I’ll be right there with tea.” Leila shook her head and rolled her eyes, “Sanem you look like an idiot, your actually drooling, get ahold of yourself. “ Sanem took a deep breath, poured the tea, and hurried off to the archive room.

His heart was pounding, with just the sight of her, and that long look she gave him, well…. That was all he needed to know he was doing the right thing.  She felt the same things he did, he was sure of it. Now it was just matter of time, but how much time did he have, he would find out today…She came in with the tea, smiling and ready to get started.  ” First let’s have our breakfast, if that’s ok with you.” He asked. She nodded shyly, and looked down, he made her marvelously uneasy. He definitely pushed all her emotional buttons; some she didn’t even know she had. She could tell…this would be a good day.  They devoured the bagels and tea, laughing and joking with ease. They blended so well; she loved his stories about the faraway places he had been, and he couldn’t get enough of the stories she told him about her neighborhood. Her charm and wit were refreshing to say the least, she was definitely unique and like no one else he had ever met. He had yet to bring up the incident from the day before, he thought he might until lunch to tackle that discussion, in a more relaxed atmosphere. They had reached a stopping point, he suggested they go out for lunch and he knew of a great fish place not far from the office, that is if she didn’t have other plans. She smiled that big smile, ” No, I don’t have any plans, that sounds great.” She said softly. Her stomach had that field of butterflies bursting into flight. There was no denying that feeling, even if she wanted to….

And right now……..she was sure she didn’t want to….

Chapter 13

The lunch was delicious, the person she was with was perfect. What more could she wish for. She could wish she had met him six months ago, before Adin had ask for her hand. At a time where she might have been able to have a future with him. But now there’s Adin, that’s all she could think about. This wasn’t possible, as bad as she wanted it, it couldn’t happen. Did he even feel the same things she felt, this rich and famous man, that could have any woman in the world. Why would he want her? ” This is all in my head,” she thought. ” it’s really time to wake up Sanem.” He could tell she was thinking about something, but not anything she could talk about. He took this time to ask her about her fiancé. ” I hope you don’t mind me asking but was there a problem yesterday after your fiancé came to pick you up.” He seemed a bit disturbed about something.” He stated. Sanem shifted in her chair, looking around, feeling embarrassed. ” Well, he wasn’t pleased, I’ll just say that.” But I explained the situation.” That It was just an innocent lunch and it really meant nothing.” She said nervously. 

Can stared at her, his eyes demanding that she look at him. With a whisper he said, ” Sanem, is that what you feel it was, just an innocent lunch. It felt like more to me.” By the way, how was your house hunt, did you find what you were looking for? ” He spouted. She smiled, ” No, not really, I think we will keep looking, we have a little time.” Can breathed a sigh of relief, ” How long before your wedding,” he asked. ” We haven’t really set the date yet, but sometime soon, we’re still looking for a location.” She informed him. They sat in silence for minutes, Can was processing his next move when she suddenly stood, suggesting they get back to work. Reluctantly he agreed and they walked to his truck. The ride back to the agency was quiet, neither knowing what to say. Can wanted to confess all his feelings to her but was afraid he would scare her off. They parked in the parking garage, but they didn’t get out. Can knew he needed to say more if he was going to get what he wanted. Sanem couldn’t bring herself to move, being this close to him unnerved her, yet that’s where she wanted to be. Finally, Can broke the silence, ” Sanem, you do know that I was the one that caught you that night in the loggia, when you fell.” You know that don’t you.” That night changed my life, what I felt, was something unbelievable. and I believe you felt it too.” Sanem held her breath, she had thought he was the one, but now she knew he was. All those feelings he had awoke in her, that raged through her heart each time he was near. They had to be the real thing…. love. Could it happen like this, so quickly without warning. She had heard of love at first sight, but never witness it before. Her mind couldn’t process what was happening to her heart, it was simply too much.

He reached for her hand; their touch verified what he had confessed to her. That feeling was undeniable, it was strong and forceful, drawing them closer. He whispered her name as he moved towards her to caress her cheek. She immediately back away, it was a total impulse move. Can stopped and refrained himself, apologizing for his quick actions. ” Sanem, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, forgive me.” She shook her head and said, ” Canbey this is all happening to fast for me. I have a fiancé, and a wedding coming up. Please don’t complicate my decisions right now. She quickly opened the door and got out. He sat there like a fool, licking his wounds. ” That was a stupid move if there ever was one, ” he spouted. ” She’ll probably never speak to you again.” Well at least there’s not a definite date yet.” You’re going to have to be smarter than that if you intend to win her over.” He exclaimed.

Sanem hurried to the restroom, she knew she would have to collect herself before going back to work. She hid away in a stall, breathing hard, she smiled in disbelief of what just happened. Why did she move away, when all she wanted him to do was touch her. She never felt this way with Adin….Oh Sanem stop…stop comparing Canbey to Adin. There is no comparison, Adin will lose every time. This man is in a league all his own, these feelings are not just an infatuation, she knew that…. She had such a fire inside her, she thought she might turn to ashes at any second, how could she work with him the rest of the day like this. But she already knew there was no turning back, this was her purpose in life, she was supposed to be her. This was her fate…. she believed it with her whole heart and soul. She stayed in the restroom long enough to convince herself she wasn’t crazy, and long enough to start missing the look of his face. She ventured out and went to the coffee bar, making them a cup of tea she walked to the archive room. She entered the room undetected, he sat with his back to the door, his head down resting in his hands. He was mumbling something to himself, but she was unable to understand what he was saying. She cleared her throat so he would know she was there. He jumped like he had been hit with electricity, he spun around, sending the chair flying across the room. His eyes were big, and she could see the shock in them. ” Canbey, are you ok, sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” She stated. ” I brought us some tea, would you like.” She smiled and reached out with the tea. His face changed, his eyes softened, back to that look of ” there’s only you and me in the world” that look that made her happy. He reached for the tea, letting his fingers lock around hers, for that charge of desire to engulf him. This was more than he could stand, this feeling was so new to him he had no idea how to handle it. So, he just held on to her hand for seconds, stepping closer to her, feeling the pull of her. Their bodies were close, but she didn’t resist, she stood her ground, breathing in sync with him. She realized she still held the teacups, he took them from her hands and sat them on the table, not letting their eye’s part. He grasps both of her small hands in his, with a solid contact. No grazing of their fingers, no slight whisper of a touch, but a full intentional act. With tenderness he opened his hand and kissed her fingers, a kiss that spread the heat throughout her body, she tingled. 

He kept his lips on her hands, not releasing the kiss, it was magical. That moment she came alive, she knew what desiring a man meant now. 

How could she ever look at Adin the same again…. this man in front of her matched her soul, their hearts were beating together…..he was hers…….

Chapter 14

Can had been waiting on feelings like this all his life. His heart had excepted her without fail, his soul sang her name, this was how his life was supposed to be. All those years before that he thought nothing could get better, how wrong he was. She was the better, the better half of him that made him whole. He closed his eyes, breathing in her scent, as she lay her head on his chest. She felt like someone he had known all his life. So comfortable, it was something he would never forget as long as he lived. She melted into him, with pleasure and excitement to be so close. She felt loved, for once, not just because it was expected but because that was their plan in life.

Just as quickly as she felt the joy of love, the pain of her what lie ahead for her nudged into her thoughts. What was she doing…. How would she explain this to her parents, but most of all, Adin. This just couldn’t be, this was wrong…. She broke from Can and stuttered around trying to find the words, ” Canbey, I’m so sorry, i shouldn’t have let that happen, forgive me.” She turned to leave. Can stood shocked at her words called after her, ” Sanem, you can’t run away, there’s not a place far enough away to separate our hearts. ” you know that…  She ran up the stairs nearly knocking Ms. Deren down, grabbed her things and bolted out the door. She walked forever, with his words echoing in her head. Her panicked mind was racing with scenarios of her way out of this torturous triangle she found herself in. She would quit..just not go back to her job. But that would alert Adin and her parents that something was wrong. She could just see Adin bursting in Canbeys office demanding to know what had happened between them. And if she told him the truth, she saw the same nightmare unfold. Either way someone would get hurt because of her. 

Can stood in the middle of the room, hoping she would return, but the only person that came was Deren. She stomped in shouting about how Sanem caused her a near fall, and then how she just ran out. ” Who does she think she is,” she just comes and goes at will.” She screamed. ” Really Can, these new employees need to be disciplined.” He rubbed his face with both hands to try and clear his head. ” Ok Deren, what did you need, I sure it’s quite important to bring you down here.” He spewed. There seemed to be a problem with the brochures for the SportsLine company. The text looked off and she needed his approval on it.  She was aware that she had disturbed something between the two of them, but she wasn’t sure what. Maybe Sanem was gone for good, that would be a blessing, then she wouldn’t have to fire her…Can was her priority, she was willing to see that no one took advantage of him. She hoped that one day he would see her as a serious contender for his heart. He wanted to follow Sanem, stop her from running and denying her feelings, but he had to trust that she would listen to her heart and see they were destined to be as one. 

Sanem found herself sitting at the coast, watching the boats moving in and out of the pier. If she could get on one of those boats and travel out into the ocean, away from all her fears and doubts, she would. But she knew her heart would still be beating and longing for his touch. The ringing of her phone cleared her head, it was her sister, ” Sanem, where did you go, Canbey is asking me where you could have gone. What happened, he looks stressed.” She stated. Sanem closed her eyes, she hated to upset him, but she just couldn’t stay there any longer. She told her sister that she hadn’t felt well after their lunch and needed to get some air. ” Abla, tell Canbey I’m fine and I will see him tomorrow,” The answer seemed to convince her sister, but she knew it wouldn’t Canbey.  She slowly walked towards her house, dreading the confrontation with her mother about her early arrival home. Her parents had always monitored her life closely, even at 23 years old, her actions were questioned at every turn. Was this the way her future would be with Adin, she hadn’t realized it before, but the last few days had been eye opening. His demand on her about her job, his treatment of her, not as an equal, but as a possession. She wouldn’t allow him to make all the decisions for her. When will she be able to live for herself….

Can sat in his office with the door closed. At least the message he received from Leila was encouraging, ” she would see him tomorrow,” but he wanted to see her now. He already missed the feeling he felt from her, that feeling of being home, safe and fulfilled. She did all of that for him, and then some. What would he say to her when he saw her. Is he going to blurt out all of the pent up emotions he has for her, or just try to savior the moments they have together? He hoped she was talking to her fiancé right now, explaining how she felt about him, and their engagement had been a mistake. It would be hard, he knew, and telling her parents would be even harder. But she had to give them a chance. Their happiness together meant everything to him. 

She was in luck; her mother was watching the store while her dad was on an errand. She could go in and prepare herself for the hundreds of questions coming her way. She would continue the excuse of not feeling well from her food at lunch. What a week, she thought, all the revelations of her life. How did she know her heart would find its match, the one that made her whole. His words spun around in her head, ” there’s no place far enough to separate their hearts.” Was he right. She needed to talk to Adin, if to say no more than, she wasn’t ready yet to get married. That would have to do for now, the rest she would face later. Now her parents could cause a scene, they wanted this more than she ever did, that was evident.  She would have to be strong, but when they found out the real reason, the shame could prove to be more than she could bear.

But this was her life…. her dreams….her heart

This was her love for him……

Chapter 15

Adin had sent a message that he would be there after dinner to discuss any new wedding plans. Sanem had completely forgot to go by the old library building to check it out for the wedding. It seemed useless now, to carry on with the making of plans for a wedding that was in question. She would tell him as quickly as she could, as not to drag out the inevitable. Her speech would have to be perfect, she hated to hurt him, but it couldn’t be helped. She had too many fears and doubts to continue with things the way they were. Things were clearer to her now, that job had done more than supply her the money she needed, it had opened her eyes to a new world. A world where her dreams mattered, and she was allowed to have them. In this world, his dreams would be her dreams, and she was expected to follow them. All of this is what troubled her more than anything. Why didn’t her parents see this, could they not tell that with this life, she wouldn’t be herself. Sanem heard her mother come in, and she braced for the inquisition. ” Sanem, daughter why are you home at this time of day,” she asked, ” Was there a problem at work.” Without waiting for her response, she carried on the conversation about what Adin had told them. That he had interrupted a lunch that she was having with the boss, and Mevkibe was wanting the explanation for it. Sanem was devastated that he had gone behind her back and told them about it, but somehow, he wasn’t surprised.

The truth was, nothing happened, but Mevkibe was having a hard time believing her. Adin had embellished the story somewhat, to make it hard for her to explain it away. It was his way of getting even. So typical, she thought, he knew just how to handle her parents. Mevkibe was scolding her for putting Adin in that position and placing herself in that kind of situation. Sanem had taken all she could and excused herself to go lay down, saying she had an upset stomach. Mevkibe called after her, ” Sanem, rest well, Adin will be here soon to discuss the wedding.” Things will be planned tonight, do you understand.” She closed her bedroom door, curled up on the floor and wished she could disappear into thin air, her life was over before it would ever get started. What had changed Adin so, or was it her that had changed. Venturing out of her comfort zone, looking for something better, was it so wrong. She found something that made her happy, filled her soul with unknown desire. Having that desire in her heart when she was betrothed to another, that might be wrong, but was it not also wrong to fore sake yourself for that of others. Turn your back on what was in your heart and lie, saying that it wasn’t so. 

She heard the bell and waited for her mother to call her downstairs. She felt the dread and the heartache already surge through her body. ” You have to stand firm Sanem, this is for you.” She told herself. The vision of Can crossed her mind, did he really want her, need her as he confessed to her. She felt it in her deepest being, it was a true feeling, or she wouldn’t have made this decision. She was testing every part of her life right now, pushing it to the limit. She had only to remember his eyes, how they held her heart and talked to her soul. This was right for her and she knew it. Her mother called to her, and she started down the stairs, hearing Adin and her mother talking in the kitchen, talking about her and her life like she didn’t exist. They were making all the plans for her, forcing all their thoughts on her for the sake of a convenient marriage. She stepped into the room, with more courage than she had ever had before saying “Adin, may I speak to you alone for a minute, please.” And she turned to go out to the back garden. Mevkibe stopped her, ” My dear, what you need to say can be said here, in front of all.” There’s no secrets in this family. ” Sanem stiffened her body, in a form of defiance, ” Mother, I prefer to speak alone, of course with no disrespect to you, but it is a private matter.” She stated. The fear was rising, she knew this would cause a riff that could cost her family. 

Adin nodded, willing to follow her to the garden, but not willing to tolerate a confrontation. She sat at the table and gestured for him to sit as well. Her actions of willfulness didn’t sit well with him. That wasn’t the role of a woman in his household, but obviously she felt the need to exert her power at this point. He sat across from her, studying her face, what was so different with her, why so stiff and formal. She struggled with finding the right words, what happened to the perfect speech she had prepared in her head, it all seemed to vanish as she looked into his face. He spoke, ” Sanem, you have brought me here for a reason, what is it, can you not speak.”  His eyes chipped away at her confidence, so demeaning. They had once been eyes that filled her with hope, but now they scared her. She reached down into her gut, for the strength to speak. Her voice sounded like it was someone else’s, she couldn’t control it, so it came out high pitched and frantic. She was talking to fast, she just wanted to get it over with. Adin held up his hand, for her to stop, ” Sanem, what are you saying, I can’t understand a word you’re saying.” What seems to be the problem.” He asked. She took one last deep breath, calmed herself and said, ” Adin, I can’t marry you, I’m sorry, but this is not right for me at this time.” She closed her eyes letting out the excess air in her lungs. Still with her eyes closed, she heard no response, she slowly opened her eyes to see him staring blankly into her face, with no emotion, he said, ” Sanem, I will have none of that, that is not an option. I don’t know who has put these thoughts into your head but there will be no more discussion of that kind, do I make myself clear.” Her heart was in her throat, what did he mean, it was her right to change her mind. He couldn’t force her; her parents wouldn’t make her if she really didn’t want to. Oh my god, she really hadn’t planned on this. She stammered a refusal of his demands, but they went unheard. She stood, ” Adin, really I have made up my mind, I can’t marry you, it’s just not what I want. 

Adin stood towering over her, “ Sanem, yes you most certainly will.”….

Chapter 16

She stood quickly, so quickly she even shocked herself. ” Excuse me Adin, but I have made my decisions as I said, I feel this is not right for me, or for you either. I’m not the woman you can control.” She stated. Mevkibe heard the voices and stepped out into the garden, ” Sanem what seems to be your problem, are you ok?” She asked. Sanem defended herself, saying ” Yes mom, I’m fine, it’s Adin that seems to have the problem.” He softens, calming his anger, ” All is well, Mother Mevkibe, it looks like Sanem may have gotten a case of cold feet concerning the marriage. But it’s nothing we can’t work out.” He chimed. ” This isn’t cold feet Adin, this is a change of heart, and I am allowed to have that you know.” I have known you for 20 years, and in all those years you have never shown your arrogance like you have in the past few days.” She stated. Mevkibe listened in shock, what was her daughter talking about, Adin was a person of integrity and honor. There was more to this than a change of heart, her mother was sure of it.

The cabin had become Can’s refuge, his safe place to think and dream. He dreamed of her, and the life they could have. He would bring her here; he knew she would love the cabin. They would live there away from the turmoil of family. That was one reason he had always kept his distance from his. His dad was his rock, his best friend and mentor, but his mother and brother had always been distant. He would never forgive or except his mother, that hurt was too deep for him to heal. He had never needed anyone, he depended on himself for how his life was lived. The independent nature of his profession fed the solitude of which he was accustomed to, it pleased him. Having to stay in Istanbul for any length of time had always proved painful, until now. Sanem eased the unfamiliar task of being in one place to long. How could one person make all that had he known seem so unimportant. She had to be his soulmate, this person in this world that was made just for him, their hearts were made to beat together. It had to be, he felt his best when he was with her, she complemented him and made him better. How would he make her his, they had obstacles in their way, but he wouldn’t let that stop him. If he had to go to her fiancé himself, he would. Explain the love that was theirs and how unexpected it had come about. He would steal her away, whisking her off to a place where they could live the love that was theirs. All these things labored about in his mind, he couldn’t wait until the morning, and he would get to see her again.

The discussion had reached a point of exhaustion, Mevkibe was searching for the reason her daughter had refused to marry.  Adin was at denial of the whole situation, “It was a simple setback,” he said, ” she would get over it in a few days.” He demanded to go on with wedding plans as if nothing had happened, but Mevkibe was seeing a side to her child that she had never seen before. Her determination was a recognized trait, it was something Sanem had kept hidden, afraid to show for fear of disappointing her parents. She told Adin her decision was final, and the talk of a wedding was done. With encouragement from Mevkibe he left, surrendering to her decision for the time being. Her mother ushered her to her room, demanding to know the reason she changed her mind. Sanem was tired, sick of trying to tell everyone what her dreams were and how she intended to follow them. ” Mom, he was not for me, the things he had done the past few days revealed that to me.” She stated. ” I didn’t have the feelings for him that I was supposed to have, and I would never let him control me like he wanted to.” Mevkibe begin to see how blind they had been when it came to Adin. But to dissolve this engagement wouldn’t be so simple, their honor was at stake. It was going to look like they had deceived Adins family with false pretenses. She told her daughter to get a good night’s sleep and they would deal with whatever came from this with dignity. 

The next morning Can arrived early to the agency, taking CeyCey into his office. He was a trusted friend to Can and had an instant connection to Sanem so he was the perfect person to enlist for help. CeyCey had already witnessed the chemistry of the two, and felt the electricity that flowed between them, this was no surprise to him. Can told him to make sure Sanem came straight to the archive room as soon as she arrived, It was very important that no one else knew what was going on. He first brewed their tea, then made his way to the bottom floor to set his plan in motion. He set up a table with some favorite things, bagels, fruit, flowers and the tea he had made. He wanted everything to be special, he hoped she would come, just as her message had said. He was praying for it….Sanem and Leila made their way to the office, the topic of Adin and the marriage had been off limits, so the bus ride was quiet. Her sister knew from her mother that things were going badly and she didn’t want to add to the frustrations. Leila had thoughts of the reason for Sanem’s change of heart, the rumors that had been flying around the agency seemed to be part of it. Canbey was never one to stay in one place long, so for him to agree to run the company had been a surprise to everyone, and now she knew why. Her sister would need to be strong, first to deal with Adin and then her feelings for Canbey, she didn’t envy her in the least.

CeyCey met Sanem at the coffee bar, ” Sanem there’s no need to make tea, Canbey has already made it and is waiting for you in the archive room.” He whispered. She leaned in to him and said, “CeyCey, why are you whispering, is there a secret.”  He smiled and shooed her towards downstairs. She entered the room, he stood and walked across the room to meet her. The table was beautiful, laid out with flowers and delicious food. She was in shock, he took her hand and she melted, falling into his gaze that mesmerized her. This was perfect, for a day that started out sad and unsure, it was quickly turning into a day of happiness. He seemed to know the right thing to do, that would make her happy and content. Their bodies came together, and their eyes surrendered their hearts, it felt right and good. 

Can was glad to see her…. At least she came, but he was afraid of what was next….

Chapter 17

How perfect, she thought, it was all so ideal. He was so sure of himself, his pursuit of her made her blush. She wished she could be so confident in what she wanted, but her problem is trying to be what everyone else thought she should be. ” Canbey, this is all so lovely, how did you find the time to do this.” She spoke. He smiled, ” First of all, let’s drop the bey, it’s Can, ok just Can.” And second, all my time is spent thinking about you and how to make you happy, and this is just one of many I could think of.” Do you like it?” She smiled, looking down not wanting to see his eyes full of desire. ” Yes, I like,” she whispered, ” Very much, thank you.” He took her hand, brought it to his lips, the feel was soft and smooth. She caught her breath and closed her eyes. How would she ever get used to that feeling, it was a feeling that made heart pound and her head dizzy. What kind of man was he, would she ever know. And why did he come into her life at this very minute? 

They ate and talked, they talked about everything. What she dreamed of most and what she feared the most. But not about the biggest problem they had …Adin. Just her and him, that was all that mattered, the others didn’t exist. The time passed so fast, he would have to hurry to implement his plan to take her to the cabin. They went out the back and around to the parking garage, she followed him without hesitation, with trust in her heart. They made it to his truck, she asked, ” Where are you taking me Canbey..I mean Can? she laughed, that wouldn’t come naturally, she have to work on it. He smiled, ” To our place, a little place just for us.” I’ve never taken anyone else there, so I hope you like it.” The excitement took her over and she couldn’t wait to see it. As they drove, she said, ” I know we have only known each other for a week, how is it possible to know your feelings in such a short time.” I’ve known Adin for 20 years and still don’t know who he is” He looked in her eyes, saying more than words could say, he tilted his head to one side, raised his eyebrows saying, “I believe, if it’s true than you will find a way,” if it’s fate, it will be come to be, without question. That is if you believe.” And this Sanem, is fate….

She smiled and looked out the window, not letting him see the doubt that filled her mind. How was she to be sure, and to make another mistake in character would shatter her heart and her soul. This wasn’t something she did every day, defying her family and turning her back on her responsibility. But marriage shouldn’t be just a duty that is expected of you, it should be a union of hearts to grow as one. Was this his feelings two, or would he show his true colors like Adin did, when she would dare to think for herself. So much to learn and feel from a new place within her soul.  She couldn’t rush into anything, she had to take her time, even if her heart was racing to join his and feel that love of passion. 

The cabin was perfect and beautiful, nothing like what she expected. It was a magical place, with lights strung about, and wind chimes blowing in the wind. He never ceased to amaze her, with everything he did. He left to gather wood for a fire later, if the weather should cool. She took the time to wander around and explore, the grounds were magnificent, the smell of fresh air filled her lungs. She could live her forever, she thought, free from her world of traditions, and obligations. She didn’t know what breaking an engagement could entail but it couldn’t be any worse than living a life as a controlled wife. She hadn’t told Can about her talk with Adin yet, and maybe she wouldn’t right now. The outcome was still uncertain, and it may not go as she had planned. The possibility of still having to go through with it scared her, but she hoped the families could come to an agreement. 

He returned with an arm load of wood, was he expecting to be there all night, she thought. It brought a tingle to her stomach, no that wasn’t going to happen. They relaxed on the lounge chairs, he could tell she was uneasy, so asked her if she was hungry. They could cook over the fire and have some wine. ” Can, I really should be getting home, she replied, ” it’s late in the day and my mom will be expecting me.” He frowned, grabbing her hand, ” No, I won’t let you go, can you not call her and tell her you’re having dinner out.” He asked. Sanem was tempted but knew better, ” Sorry, but I can’t do that, I really need to return home.” There’s a lot of turmoil going on in my family right now so it would be better if I went home,” she smiled. The ringing of her phone startled her, she saw it was Adin, quickly glancing at Can, she walked a short distance away to answer. ” Adin, hello, how are you” she asked nervously. “His voice was low and demanding, ” Sanem, where are you, I have come to your office to pick you up,” Did you leave early.” She felt the heat rise through her body, ” Why Adin, I’m capable of getting home on my own” I will be home shortly, why do you need to see me” She asked. He knew she was hiding something, but what or who. “There are some things we need to talk about, so l will meet you at your house in 30 minutes.” He spouted. She hung up, turned to Can, ” I will have to go home, can you please drop me off, ” she asked.  

He stood and walked to her, wrapped his arms around her, holding her, he felt her tremble and he wanted to protect her. She snuggled in, feeling safe there, hating the fact she had to leave. So many feelings exploded inside her that she couldn’t think. This is what she wanted, needed, but why was it so hard. She relaxed in his arms, the world dissolved, and she was happy, but she had to meet Adin. Can kissed her on the cheek, and down to her neck, breathing her smell, making her weak to resist him. His lips found hers, the kiss was a strong but a soft lingering kiss, like none she’d had before. It warmed her whole body, releasing the doubt of his feelings for her. When their lips parted, ” Why do you have to go Sanem, there’s no other place for us but here,” Us together.” He whispered in her ear. 

” Adin,” she stuttered, ” I have to meet Adin.” 

Chapter 18

His eyes held hers, a gaze of strength was transposed to her. He saw the fear in her eyes, but also the determination of her heart. He knew she wanted him, that kiss and her touch had sealed their fate. He nodded his head, ” Ok, why will you meet him? Tell me, is it for us, or is it for him. Do you see your life with him…. all of it, forever.” He asked. ” I need you and want you.” All of you, how you want to be. With your dreams, that will become my dreams.” And my dreams that will become yours.” As one Sanem.” He rested his forehead on hers and the connection was formed. How could she walk away from that, the bond was already there.

” Can, there are things we have to clear up. I had made a promise to wed and in our tradition, that is a serious commitment. I hope that we can come to an agreement on the separation, it’s a matter of honor for our family.” Can stepped back, saying, ” You hope you can come to an agreement, what does that mean? You would have to marry him anyway.” He threw his arms in the air, ” I can’t believe this, you can’t, let me go talk to them. I’ll settle it once and for all” He shouted. She locked her arms around his neck, giving him a kiss on the cheek, ” Calm down, I really don’t see that happening, I won’t let that happen. I promise.” He swallowed her in a hug, it can’t, he thought, no way could he lose her now. They left to drop her off, he hated to let her go alone. He prayed her parents would stand behind her. ” Sanem, I’m going back to the cabin, please come when you have everything settled. I will be waiting for you, I’ll be there as long as it takes.. If you need me, I will come.” His look of love and respect seared at her heart as she left the car. This had to work, he thought. His life would be nothing without her. 

She walked to her house, the dread surrounding her, what would be her fate. She unlocked the door and went in; she could hear the voices. More than 3 so she knew his parents had also came. Just be strong, take whatever ridicule they may have. This wasn’t your fault. It was an act of fate and god. How could that be wrong. As she walked into the kitchen, she tension was thick, all eyes turned to her. Mevkibe asked where she had been all day, for she hadn’t been at work. Sanem declined to say, deeming it unnecessary for what they had to talk about. Mr. Kahill was the first to speak, ” Sanem my dear, we realize there is some hesitation in the upcoming marriage. Let’s solve all this and get back to business, shall we.” Mevkibe and Nihat looked at each other, knowing this wasn’t going to be easy. Sanem took her stand, ” Mr. Kahill, there’s not a hesitation, there is a denial of this marriage. I’m sorry that it has come to this, but the fact is, your son would like to have a wife to dominate and control, and I can tell you this, that is not me. These traits have just come to my attention in the past few days. So I feel like I was lied to by Adin and your entire family.” Mevkibe smiled, watching her daughter take the role of a self-assured woman and stand her ground. Adin cleared his throat, as to speak, ” Sanem, there was not a lie told. You simply changed your mind because of an infatuation that you have with your boss, so let’s not try and call this anything other than what it is.” He spewed. 

The lines had been drawn, it was going to be his word against hers. ” Fair enough Adin,” she stated, ” If that is what you think, then to marry a woman of such low moral standards would damage your image as a man. So maybe the refusal to marry is in your best interest, and that of your family. What do you think Mr.Kahill?” They both shifted in their seats, of course, the thought of a scandal was not at all what they wanted. So the dissolve of the engagement might be the best. Nihat had heard enough, ” Mr. Kahill, my daughter is of a decent moral upbringing and the disrespect your son has shown her could damage your worthiness. Shall we mutually agree that this union would have been unacceptable and let them both move on with their lives?” Sanem smiled for the first time her parents had spoken for her, for the well being of her. It meant so much. The dissolve of the engagement agreement was reached and Adins family stood to leave. Adin was hurt, mostly the ego, and glared at Sanem. ” This leaves you free to carry on the blatant display of affection you have been flaunting about at your office. Things like this do have repercussions you know. So don’t come running back to me when you have been replaced with the next toy.” She smiled saying, ” Rest assured Adin, that won’t happen. I would much rather be a passed over toy, than the puppet of a wife you had in mind. Good night.”

Her parents were distraught and angry at the insinuation from Adin. Mevkibe was quick to ask about his claims of her feelings for her boss. ” Is it true Sanem, is there someone at work? This would be totally unacceptable if there was.” She stated. Sanem smiled, ” Mother, the things of the heart have nothing to do with acceptable. But yes, I have met my person in life, the one I was made for. I would appreciate your happiness on this matter, but it certainly isn’t a necessity. Now if you will excuse me  I need to go to him, tell him my heart is his and always will be.”  

She felt the pride of standing up or herself, and her courage to break her parents hold. 

She grabbed a taxi and headed to the cabin. What a liberating day, she thought, why hadn’t she done this years before. The drive was beautiful, and the knowing he would be there waiting for her made her heart soar. The taxi drove away as she stood staring at the cabin, this would her life. No second thoughts, just hope. 

He was sitting on the ground, with a blazing fire, dreaming she would come soon. How sweet he looked, like a little boy waiting on approval. He saw her out of the corner of his eye…. he turned to see her. She came……

She smiled saying, ” I came, were you waiting on me?” She ran to greet him. And they fell in a heap on the blankets, laughing. 

This was her fate and she welcomed it with love……..

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