The Return to Istanbul

by grannydew, posted in Returning Home Series

Introduction

 This new series, ” Returning Home”  will follow Sanem and Can from the time that Can decides to leave Sanem and go for a job in another country. Sanems imperfections were just too much for Can to understand, so he reverted back to the Can Divit that always ran away.

      After almost a year of silence from Can, Sanem herself  decided to move on, follow her dreams and try to understand where there love had gone wrong.

      Even though they each had made mistakes, neither of them could void their heart of the love they had for each other. Nothing or no one would be able to replace those feelings they had….but guilt and stubbornness would be the things that would keep them from being happy…

      A crazy twist of fate would bring them each back home to Istanbul at the same time. Back to the place that they both had avoided for over 6 years. 

      Would this bring them back together, or separate them even more. They were not the same people they had been before……hurt and pain, along with the guilt, had changed them both.

      The only thing that had never changed, was the love that still lived on in their hearts. As hard as they had tried to forget, as far away as they would go,……their love was still there….

      It was a love that wouldn’t die…     

Chapter 1

Sanem…..

April 28th…….9:47 am

      Sanem held that phone tightly in her hand as she listened to her sister. “Abla, I’m so sorry to give you this news, but you knew the last time we spoke he wasn’t doing well. I wish you had come home then.” Leila closed her eyes as she waited for her sister to reply.

      She slumped down in the chair, feeling her body go limp, ” I know, I wish I had, but it just so hard to come back at that time, there was so much going on right then. Abla, how is he, what have the doctors said.  I can’t stand the thought of him suffering.” Sanem could barely ask the questions as the fear of losing her dad entered her mind. Leila breathed heavily, ” Well, mom is with him right now, and Melihat has been there too, as often as she can.”

      As Sanem listened to her sister explain the report from the doctors, she leaned back against the chair, her heart breaking. Her dad had always been the person that she could go to for anything, he was the person that understood her most in this world. She closed her eyes thinking back to when she was a child, how he protected her, nurtured her, never letting anyone hurt her.  Now she wanted to protect him, nuture him, and never let him go.

      Her thoughts went back to all those times that she had disappointed him, went against what he wanted for her. All the times that he had stood up for her and helped her through the hardest times in her life. 

      Even when she was older and she chose Can Divit, going against her family, but mostly her dad, he still stood beside her. When Can left Istanbul and her, without a trace, and she fell apart completely, her dad never said “ I told you so”.  Her dad stood beside her all those months that it took for her to gather herself up emotionally and move on with her life.

      Her decision to make that move to the Galápagos Islands had been the most difficult. Her dad and the rest of her family had begged her not to go, as well as her best friend CeyCey. They tried so hard to make her stay there, promising her that Can would be back.  

      CeyCey always had so much faith in the love that she and Can shared that he was sure it would overcome all other obstacles. But Sanem was determined to move on with her life, just as Can had. 

      All of these memories were running through her mind, as if they happened yesterday. The hurt that she had felt, the determination she had to make her life mean something. And once she had made that choice to leave Istanbul, her dad was the first one to accept it and stand behind her. 

       It hadn’t been an easy time in her life. Can had left Istanbul and everyone behind. Everything she had done she had done for him and the agency, but sometimes offering your soul to someone just isn’t enough. 

      When she left that day headed for Galapagos, her family and CeyCey clung to her, pleading with her to stay. But she waved goodbye to them with a smile, ” I’ll be back, don’t worry. If Can wants to find me he will know where I am.” And with that, she boarded that plane and left Istanbul, her family and her friend to try and start her life over. 

      That seemed to be the downfall of her father’s health problems. After a while it was evident that Sanem would not return to Istanbul. That was when her dad begin to feel the loss of his daughter, but when they learned that Sanem would stay in Galapagos permanently is when he had his first major health crisis.

      That had been over 6 years ago, and now she would make that trip back to Istanbul for one of the worst reasons she could think of, to comfort her dad in his last days.

      Over the last 6 years she had been back home only twice. Once, just a year after she moved to Galapagos, to pick up some more of her personal belongings. The second time was 3 years later when her father had a serious bout with his health and was left unable to work. Since then, it has only been phone calls and face time with her family and friends. 

      She often thought about everyone there and remembered her life as it was back then. Leila still worked at the agency, but it wasn’t the same, not with Sanem and Can both gone.

      Not long after she arrived in Galapagos, she submitted her first transcript to a publishing agency in Madrid, Spain. Although it was some distance away, they had provided Sanem with the best representation for her book. Is wasn’t long before her first book climbed the charts and she was beginning to make a name for herself.. Making her dream of writing her book and living on the Galapagos Island come true.

      As the years passed by, the mention of Can Divit to her from her family and friends became less and less. In the beginning she asked about him, almost begging for any information about him, but as the months turned into years, she refused to put her heart through the pain. But her heart had never forgotten him or opened up for another person to come in…..Her heart still belonged to Can.

      There were times when she still let her mind go back to those years when she was happy and in love. At first she visited those memories eagerly, wanting so badly to feel that love again, but now….she only remembered them fondly, occasionally letting her mind drift back to that time in her life; that time she had everything she wanted….

      She made her plans to return home immediately, booking the next available flight to Barcelona Spain, and then the connecting flight on to Istanbul. 

      Sanem dreaded the reason for returning home, but she was excited to see her family, and most of all, being able to see her friend CeyCey…

      Her heart had never ached so badly as it did that day as she settled into her seat for the first leg of her flight to Spain. For the first time in a while she let herself think about Can and if he could possibly be there, but just as quickly she dismissed it from her mind. 

      She tried to clear her head of any thoughts of Can Divit as the plane lifted, starting that long trip to Istanbul….that trip home.

      But that tingle of anticipation had already begun…. there wasn’t any denying it…

Can…

April 28th…..11:07 am

      Emre made that difficult call to Can that day, only a short time after his talk with the doctor. ” Mr. Divit, I highly recommend that you call in your brother and any other family you might have. Mr. Aziz may not have a lot of time left, so I would do it now.” The doctor told him, patting him on the back.

      He found a quiet place to talk after his visit with the doctor, knowing this would be the most difficult call of his life.

      He placed the call and prayed that his brother was somewhere where he could get service. It took several rings before he heard that familiar voice of his brother on the other end of the line.   ” Emre, is that you. I can barely hear you.” Can said as he moved around trying for a better signal. ” Abi, can you hear me. It’s me, Emre.” He yelled.

      ” Ahh yes, there you are. I can hear you now. What’s up? Are you calling with good news.” Can laughed, recalling the last conversation they had about a certain woman that he was serious about. The silence at the other end of the phone was a sign that this was not a happy call.

      ” Emre, what is it. What’s wrong?” Can asked, hearing the muffled cry from his brother. ” Can its dad. He’s in the hospital and it is not good. The doctor suggested I call you to come home.” Emre spoke, his voice cracking with emotion.

      The words hit Can hard, making his heart leap up into his throat. ” Emre tell me what’s going on. How bad is it?” he asked, as he immediately started to gather up his things from the camp.

      ” Can, it’s bad. Where are you and how long will it take you to get home. Abi I can’t do this without you.” Emre whispered, the tears streaming from his eyes. ” Emre I’m on my way. I will get the next flight out of Thailand. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Can told him, trying to comfort his brother.

      Within an hour Can was headed to the airport in Bangkok. He got the next flight out of Bangkok going to Istanbul, but the plane took off in two hours. He was an hour away from the airport, so he would have to hurry to make the flight. The thought of his dad and getting in time was all that was keeping him going. 

      His dad was all that he had in this world besides Emre. The thought of not having him any longer was almost more than he could bear.

      On that hour drive from his camp to the Bangkok airport, so many things passed through his mind. All the times his dad had begged him to settle down in Istanbul and stay close to him. All the times he hadn’t listened to him, hadn’t visited him as often as he should have. 

      The one time he stayed in Istanbul was the best decision he had ever made. That’s when the thought of Sanem entered his mind. Would she, could she still be in Istanbul. The thought of her made him shiver, it always did. She was still the only person that he thought of or wished for in his life……His heart was still hers.

      It had been 6 years, 8 months and a few days since he left her and tried to get as far away from Istanbul as possible. He remembered it almost to the day. But he had regretted that decision more than any other in his life. 

      As he boarded the plane so many things were circling in his mind. But the one thing that lingered most was Sanem, and the possibility that he could once again be in the same city as she was.

      Over the years he had kept track of her. He knew she wasn’t living in Istanbul anymore. She had followed that dream she had told him about so many years ago and went to the Galapagos Islands, had written her book and from what he had read about her, she was successful.

      But just the thought of being in the same place where they had been so happy together seemed to make his heart lighter. He quickly dismissed that thought from his head, as the plane lifted off, headed for Istanbul and home….

But he couldn’t and wouldn’t dismiss it from his heart…….

Chapter 2

 Sanem…

      The trip home would be a long and grueling one. It would take two plane changes and almost 26 hours before she would finally arrive in Istanbul. After she boarded the plane in Guayaquil, Ecuador, headed for Barcelona Spain, she had plenty of time to think. 

      Her dad should have been the only thought on her mind, but eventually the remembrance of what her life was like the day she had left Istanbul took over her thoughts. How could she not think of Can…..how could she not remember what she had been through. There was no amount of time that could erase away that time of her life…

      As far as she knew, Can had done exactly what he had planned to do. He boarded a plane without saying goodbye to anyone and flew away. For months she texted and called him repeatedly, desperate to hear from, but she only received one reply to a text….I’m sorry Sanem, I’m just not ready to talk about it yet. The hurt is still too strong. Please give me some time…Can

      It was then she decided to forgive herself and try to move on. One month after that one and only correspondence from Can she made her plans to visit the place of her dreams, Galapagos Island. At first it was just going to  be an extended vacation, maybe a couple of months at most. But the magic of the islands drew her in,…captured her, so to speak, and refused to let go.

      She kept the hopes and dreams of a life with Can in her heart, praying that he would come to Galapagos and find her. But after another year of silence from him, she finally made a trip home to Istanbul to get the rest of her things. 

      Her heart had crumbled, splintered into so many pieces that she knew it would take a long time, if ever, to heal. She knew it wouldn’t heal at all if she stayed in Istanbul, so she took all that meant the most to her, said a tearful and heartbreaking goodbye to her family and friends and returned to Puerto Baquerizo Moreno, on the Island of San Cristobal.

      In the past 5 years she managed to make a life for herself in Puerto Baquerizo Moreno. Living the dream that she had once shared with Can Divit that night on that beach in Aqua. She had no other choice but to continue her life without him,….that was the decision he had made for her..

      So to be going home to Istanbul was nothing less than bitter sweet. The last word that she had heard about him was that he was traveling Asia. But that was over 2 years ago. She had read an article in the Turkey newspaper about him. She subscribed to the paper just to keep up with news of home. He had been recognized for his work in Cambodia to help the refugees.

      It made her smile when she read it that morning with her cup of tea. He still was one of the most sympathetic people she had ever met. It was what she would have expected from him for herself, but that was not the case. He couldn’t or wouldn’t accept the things that she had done for him out of love. 

      The fasten your seat belt light flashed on as the plane prepared to land in Barcelona, Spain. The second leg of her trip home was about to come to an end…

     After a short layover, she would be on her way to Turkey…and home. She was getting more and more anxious about it. What if he was there, what if he had returned to Istanbul, what he knew she had gone to Galapagos Island all this time,….and he didn’t care.

      She settled down in her seat, her mind still full of memories. Now it was time to be rational, she thought. Why would he come back to Istanbul? Why would he come back to a place that he never wanted to be in the first place. 

      In an instant she recalled that day at his childhood home when he told her that Istanbul was a place he always came back to. She still come hear his voice in her head, “ This is the place I run back to…..there is now other place in the world like Istanbul”

      She closed her eyes as the plane lifted. In less than four hours she would herself be back in Istanbul…..A place that held her heart, a place where she had found the love of her life, but she knew that he wouldn’t be there…..  

Can…

      Since Can’s flight to Istanbul would divert him to Dubai, and there would be a two hour layover there, he had grabbed a couple of his favorite books and stuck them in his carryon. 

      His dad’s illness had taken him a bit by surprise. He hadn’t been home for some time, probably a couple of years. But he had always kept in contact with him. A phone call or FaceTime every few weeks. He had told him he was fine the last time they talked, in fact he talked about how he was helping out at the agency.

      He took one of the books from his bag as he got comfortable for the 7-hour flight to Dubai. It had been a long time since he had taken the time to read. 

      He opened the book, it was his favorite, one that he had read many times but could never get enough of. The writing on the introduction page caught his eye, “ Read This Book in Good Health….Let This Book Heal Your Heart…….Sanem”  

      The words jumped off the page at him. His eyes filled with tears so quickly he hadn’t been prepared for them. But he remembered this, he remembered the day she came to his house wanting to make things right. She pleaded with him to listen to her, understand why she had done the things she had, and when he didn’t listen to her she left, but not without leaving behind this book for him….

      He wiped the tear from his cheek before the woman sitting next to him had a chance to see it. How many things he had done wrong, how many times he had pushed her away. All because he was afraid of that love he had for her.

      He stuffed the book back in his bag and stared out the window. He knew he had to go home, for his dad, but he wished he didn’t have to. That hurt, that desire, that feeling of happiness he had felt there with her, had already begun to fire up inside him. 

      He closed his eyes, telling himself, ” Sanem will not be there….you will not see her, hear that laughter that was so distinctively hers, smell that fragrance that made your head spin”…..

      Can wanted nothing more than just that, all those things, but he had been the one to walk away from them. He had chosen to close himself off from happiness, from that feeling like nothing else mattered in the world but her. 

      Memories flashed like lightning in his mind, as he relived those last few days with her. The look of hurt in her eyes when he told her she was just like everyone else to him now..Those words still rang viciously in his head. 

      His throat ached with the pain of holding back all those tears. Before he knew it the announcement came that they would be landing in Dubai shortly. They were there already, he thought, as he listened to the flight attendant. He rubbed his face with his hands, trying to get rid of all his thoughts as he exited the plane.

      A few more hours and he will be home….As close to her as he will ever be. But yet not close enough to touch her….

      Some time later he boarded his plane headed to Istanbul…..headed home. Back to the place where he had found the only happiness in his life…….But she wouldn’t be there.

Chapter 3

Leila checked the time on her phone. Sanem flights would be arriving by 3:10pm. She would need to make sure she left in plenty of time to get to the airport. She wanted to let CeyCey know what time Sanem would be coming in, so she put in a call to him, and also, she wanted to ask Mr. Emre for her vacation time.

      She hadn’t taken any time off for quite some time, so she had a few weeks that she could use if she needed. CeyCey answered her call with enthusiasm, ” Leila hello. How is your dad, and when is Sanem coming in?”  He spurted anxiously. 

      ” Hello CeyCey. Dad is about the same. There’s not much more they can do now.” She replied, her heart breaking with every word. ” And Sanem, when is she coming…she is coming isn’t she?” CeyCey asked, demanding an answer.

      Leila sighed, ” Yes dear, she’s on her way. In fact, she will be here this afternoon. I will be going to pick her up if you would like to come along.” She told him. ” Oh I would love to, but I don’t think that Deren will let me leave. With Gulize gone on vacation, and Omer is still sick. Then with Mr. Emre gone as well, she will have a fit if I ask to leave.” He explained in his most dramatic way.

      ” Mr. Emre isn’t there?” Leila asked. ” What happened, is he gone to a meeting.” She asked, a bit confused. She hadn’t been to the agency for several days, so she had lost track of Mr. Emre’s schedule. 

      CeyCey made his way to the conference room and closed the door, ” No…you haven’t heard since you have been gone. Mr. Aziz has taken ill. It happened suddenly but it seems to be very serious. It’s so strange that both Mr, Nihat and Mr. Aziz to become so sick at the same time.” Leila gasped, ” It’s serious, how serious CeyCey?” 

      Leila couldn’t believe what CeyCey was telling her as she listened intently. ” Yes Mr. Emre called Deren and ask her to take care of things for a while. It seems the doctors didnt give them much hope. It’s so sad. So, I wouldn’t dream of asking for the rest of the day off.” He explained, his voice shaking with emotion.

      Mr. Aziz, how terrible, she thought, but then her next thought was even more upsetting, “CeyCey, what about Mr. Can. Does he know. Is he coming to be with his dad?”  She asked, the words where hard to even say.

      ” Yes, he’s on his way, or that’s what Deren just told us. He should be here later today.” He said, then in an instant he realized what he had said. ” Oh my…Leila, Mr. Can and Sanem are going to be here at the same time. Oh, Leila, do you know what might happen?” He said in a whisper.

      Leila quickly interrupted him, ” CeyCey, I’m not worried about that now. I’m only worried about my dad and how we are going to through the rest of our lives without him.” She said, scolding him for thinking about Can and Sanems’ failed relationship at a time like this.

      They both agreed not to talk about the agency, Mr. Aziz, and least of all Can Divit to Sanem. ” There’s really no reason for her to know that Can is in town. I’m sure he will be too busy with his dad and his brother while he is here to even think about Sanem.” Leila said. ” And I’m sure they probably not in the same hospital.” She added, trying to reassure herself that she was making to right decision.

      CeyCey did not like keeping secrets, but this secret was one that could most likely harm his friend more than help, so he would do his best to avoid any mention of the Divit family. It had been so long since he had been able to hug his friend, the last thing he wanted to do was give her a reason to run away from Istanbul again.

      Leila made arrangements with Deren for her vacation time. Before ending the call, CeyCey told her he would come to the hospital as soon possible. Although his feelings for Mr. Aziz and Can were strong, his feelings for Sanem and her family had always been foremost in his heart. So right now, he needed to be with his friend and her family.

      Emre wanted to pick his brother up at the airport but Can insisted on grabbing a taxi from the airport for his trip to the hospital. The last thing he wanted was for Emre to leave his dad’s side.   ” Emre, you stay with dad and I will be there as soon as I can. My plane will land at 12:50 this afternoon and I will take a taxi to the hospital. You just stay with dad until I get there.” Can told his brother. His heart breaking with every word.

      As the plane circled to land, Can looked out the window. What a beautiful place, he thought. This had always been the city that made him feel good, whole and alive. Istanbul was and would forever be his home. The only place that he had been happy in his almost 37 years. 

      His body shuddered at the thought of what was about to happen and how he would be able to survive it. Then in an instant the vision of Sanem picking wildflowers in the forest on their way to Aqua so many years ago, popped so vividly into his mind. He couldn’t keep that slight smile from easing across his face.

      As the plane touched down on that familiar ground of home, he took his duffel bag and hurried to get a taxi. His mind trying hard to stay on the focused on what he had to do. The feel and smell of this place had always brought him peace, but this trip would be one of the hardest that he would endure. There was a mixture of excitement and dread running through his body as they drove through the streets of Istanbul on their way to the hospital. 

      Once he arrived at the hospital, he got the room number from he lady at the front desk and rushed down the hallway to the nearest elevator. His heart was beating hard with anticipation, hoping and praying he wasn’t too late. 

      The elevator doors opened and the sight of his brother standing at the end of the hallway was the first thing he saw. He wasn’t sure if Emre even noticed him as he walked toward him, not until he touched him on the shoulder.

      Emre jerked around with a surprised look on his face. ” Abi, you made it.” He spoke, his voice strained and raspy. Can could tell he had been crying, so immediately he assumed the worst. “Emre, what happened. Dad is still hanging in there isn’t he?” Can asked, feeling his heart sink.

     Emre shook his head, ” Yes, he is. The doctor is in with him now. I’m glad you got here when you did. Now you will be able to hear what he has to say.” Can let out a sigh of relief. He wrapped his arms around his brother, more than willing to take away some of his pain.

      He felt the guilt of always running away from his family when things got rough, or when he could no longer cope with his feelings. And that was what he had done over 6 years ago when he let his love for Sanem and his unreasonable ideas of what some people would do for love force him to walk away.

      He felt just as guilty for leaving Emre here to talk care of the agency and to take care of their dad. He had a lot of time to make up for, and he prayed that his dad would be around long enough to for him to do just that.

      The door to his dads room opened and the doctor stepped out into the hallway, ” Emre…so this is your brother?” He said extending his hand to Can. ” Yes doctor, I’m Can.” He answered.

      The doctor smiled, ” I glad your both here. It could help for him to know you are both here…. but please don’t get your hopes up.” He spoke.

     Can felt more helpless at that moment than he ever had in his life…

Chapter 4

Leila parked in the Arrival Pickup parking lot and headed inside. She checked the board for the arriving flights to make sure her flight was on time. She looked at her phone to see the time, 2:48 it said. She made it just in time as she started through the terminal to her gate.

      She had left Melihat with her mom at the hospital while she came for Sanem. Her mom hadn’t left her dads side for the past few days, so she has hoping that Sanem would be able to convince her mom to go home for a rest. 

      It seemed like an eternity before the first passengers started to make their way off the plane, and even longer before she finally saw that familiar figure walk down that long walkway toward her. 

      Leila and her little sister had had their share of troubles between them, just as an sisters would. But Leila couldn’t have imagined her life without her spunky and unruly sister. Just the sight of her made her realize how much she had missed her over the past few years.

       Sanem was searching the area for her sister as she made her way through the crowd. She was nervous about returning to Istanbul, but at the same time, she was excited as well. Just the view of this wonderful city from the plane had made her feel at peace. It had been a few years since she had stood on this ground of home. And there was nothing more prevalent in her mind than the thought of Can Divit and the reason she had left Istanbul in the first place.

      She was deep in thought about her past as she weaved through the crowd of people, when suddenly someone grabbed her arm and pulled her to the side. ” Sanem, Abla. I’m here.” Leila said, wrapping her arms around her. Sanem squealed with delight, ” Abla, there you are. I’m so glad to see you.” Sanem said dropping her bag to give her a huge hug.

      After a long hug and a few kisses on the cheek, Sanem picked up her bag and followed her sister to the parking lot. ” Leila, did you buy a car?” Sanem asked as Leila popped the trunk for Sanem bag. Leila smiled, ” Yes, I did. It was getting to hard getting dad back and forth to his doctor appointments on the bus, so I broke down and bought my car.” She explained.

      Suddenly that feeling of guilt for having left her sister to take care of everything here swept over her. She even felt her face heat up with embarrassment as she listened to Leila describe her life there over the years. ” Yes, a trip to the doctor for dad was exhausting, and more so on the bus. A car seemed like the most sensible solution.” She told her. ” The agency has been more than accommodating to me. I’ve had to take a lot of time off to get dad to and from the doctor, but they never gave me a hard time.” She added, making Sanem feel even more guilty for running away from Istanbul and all her problems.

      ” I’m so sorry Abla, I should have been here to help you.” Sanem muttered, ashamed for having to apologize. ” I have been selfish and have thought only of myself.” She said, the tears burning her eyes as she recalled the reason she had left her family. ” But my heart was broken, my soul had been hurt so badly that I just couldn’t stay here. I hope you understand.” Sanem spoke, allowing the tears to escape her eyes.

      Leila reached over, patting her hand, ” I know, i know. I was there Abla, remember. I saw everything that happened. I watched Can Divit broke you heart. I would have done the same thing, trust me I would have run away too.” Her words made Sanem feel better but now she had stirred up all those feelings of betrayal again.

      She wiped her face, ” Ok, enough of this. I’m here for mom and dad, and to help you as much as possible. My mistakes are not what’s important right now.” She said, determined to put the past behind her. 

      ” How is dad. Have the doctors said anything more.” Sanem asked, hoping to hear good news. Leila shook her head, ” Not really. His heart is damaged from diabetes and high blood pressure. But he did say that there was evidence of a small stroke at some time. He just doesn’t have the strength to fight.” She said, watching Sanem as she tried to digest what she had heard.

      Sanem had forgotten how bad the traffic could be in Istanbul, so different from her home in Puerto Baquerizo Moreno. She closed her eyes wishing so badly to be back there in the serenity of the islands, and all of this was just a dream. 

      The trip from the airport to the hospital took forever, but finally they were there. She needed to pull herself together before she faced her mom. If nothing else she needed to be strong for her mom. 

      The doors on the elevator opened and they exited. They turned right, with Sanem following behind her sister as if she were taking the walk to her death. They stopped in front of the door and Leila turned to Sanem, ” Let me prepare you, dad has lost some weight and he looks very tired. The last thing that mom or dad needs is for you to be shocked at what you see. So please, keep your feelings hidden.” Her sister said, patting her shoulders before she opened the door.

      Nothing could have prepared Sanem for what she saw as they stepped inside the hospital room. A chill ran deliberately and strongly down her spine, as her mom looked their way as they entered the room. 

      Her mom was almost unrecognizable herself, as the illness of her husband had taken a toll on her as well. But Sanem managed to put on a smile, ” Mom, I’m here.” She uttered, her voice cracking as she held back the tears. 

      It had been a little over 2 years since her last visit home, but the change to her mom and dad in that time was devastating.  She steadied herself as Milihat rushed over to give her a hug, ” My daughter, I am so glad you’re here. Your dad just asked for you a few minutes ago.” She whispered in her ear.

      The tears stung her eyes, but she refused to release them as she reached for her mother. A hug from her was as good as any medicine could have been. Her hugs had always been strong and firm, but this one was a vulnerable and much weaker hug. Sanem squeezed her mom tight, ” Momma, I’m so sorry it took me so long to get here.” She whispered quietly in her mother’s ear.

      ” But you are here now my love, and that’s all that matters. Come say hello to your dad. He has been looking for you.” Mevkibe said, guiding her around to the side of the bed. ” Nihat, Nihat….Sanem is here.” She said gently stroking his face.

      His eyes remained closed, but he found her hand with his, entwining his fingers together with hers, ” My Sanem is here….my beautiful daughter.” He spoke, his voice weak and it was almost to slight to hear. Sanem patted his hand, ” Yes dad I’m here. Can you open your eyes?” She said, as she wiped a tear that had found its way down her cheek.

      Nihat gave a very slight smile, ” Maybe later, I’m just so tired, but will you stay with me while I sleep.” he asked, holding on tightly to her hand.

      ” Yes dad, I will not leave you, that you can be sure of.” She answered.

Chapter 5

   Can had been sitting there for what seemed like hours, just watching his dad sleep. The news from the doctor was very guarded, not giving them much hope. But Can wasn’t ready to give up on his dad just yet. 

      He remembered back when he was a small boy, and his mother had decided to end the marriage to his dad over a silly rumor. Now he understood was had happened, but back the only thing that made sense was the fact that his mother was leaving and taking his little brother. 

      His dad refused to let her take Can. He recalled the night that the taxi pulled up in front of the home to take them away. As hard as he had tried to forget that night over the years, it still lived so vividly in his mind. The confusion, the hurt, the guilt that he felt that night was something he would never forget.

      Twenty-eight years of feeling abandoned and unwanted by his mom was the reason he had shunned any kind of serious relationship with a woman. That is, until he found Sanem….

      And there it was….another reason to let his mind wander from what was going on with his dad, to thinking about the most important person that had ever entered his life. He shut his eyes hoping to let the thought of her pass, but he knew that wasn’t going to happen.

      This place was nothing but a constant reminder of the happiest time in his life gone bad. And the worse thing about it was he had caused all of it himself. 

      The touch of someone’s hand on his brought Can’s eyes open, ” My son you made it. I’m so glad to see you.” His dad uttered in a weak and trembling voice. A faint smile crossed his face as he closed his eyes again.

     Can jumped up, ” Dad…dad, don’t go back to sleep. Talk to me for a minute.” Can begged, as he stroked this dad’s thin, frail hand. ” I’m here. I promise I won’t go anywhere. Just talk to me.” He spoke.

      Emre walked in just as Can was pleading with his dad to stay awake, “Abi, did dad wake up?” He asked excitedl.  Can nodded, ” Yes, just for a second. He told me he was glad I made it. Emre I don’t think he wants to fight this” Can replied as he felt the tears trickle down his face. 

      Can and Emre agreed to stay with him throughout the night. The doctor came back by in the late afternoon to check on Aziz, ” Boys there’s not much more we can do for him, unless he’s willing to fight. We will make him comfortable and you two stay by his side. That’s all he wants.” 

      Can was in desperate need of a strong cup of Turkish tea, so he left Emre with his dad while he made a trip to the cafeteria. He was distracted with the thoughts of his dad and what the doctor had just told them as he waited for the elevator. 

      The nurses’ station was busy with doctors and nurses rushing about preparing for the shift change. They were giving their orders to the evening staff, ” Make sure you keep a close eye on Mr. Divit in 406, make him comfortable.” He heard one of the nurses say as he stepped into the elevator. The thought of what that meant made his heart ache, make him comfortable, comfortable for the end….

      He ordered his tea and a roll, and an order for Emre too. His body reminded him that he hadn’t eaten since the day before. He didn’t want to leave Emre alone for too long so he took his food and started back to his dads room, still in a daze. This was quickly turning into the worse day of his life.

      He paused at the door of the room, taking a couple of deep breaths, trying to reason with his heart. “This is the nature of things; this is how life is. You are born, you live the days you are given with dignity and love…and then you leave. He knew all of that in his head, but his heart was breaking, knowing that this was the end for his dad.

      The two brothers sat together drinking their tea and nibbling on the roll. Watching and waiting for their dad to wake up. Neither one wanting to admit to the other just how scared they were. They talked about the agency and the new clients, Can asked about Deren, how she was doing. When the conversation got around to CeyCey Can’s whole body softened. ” How is CeyCey Emre. I have missed him more than anyone else.” Can asked as tears formed in his eyes.

      ” Well, CeyCey is the same. Just as unpredictable as ever and I know that he misses you too. He will be glad to see you.” Emre replied, knowing the special relationship that the two had. 

       The next question was on the tip of his tongue, but he was afraid to let the words come out.  But he wanted so badly to know about her. ” Emre, do you ever hear anything about Sanem, I mean does CeyCey tell you anything about her. How she’s doing, if she is still in Galápagos Islands? Can asked, as he felt his heart ache just speaking her name.

      Emre smiled, ” So… you’re still carrying a torch for her. I only know some little things that I’ve heard from CeyCey and Leila. She is still in the Islands and doing quite well I hear. Her writing is going well. Oh…you did know she published her first book and it made her very popular, right.”

      Can shook his head, ” Yes, I did.” he said, hanging his head. ” I was hoping you would know something else about her. Like… is she married, does she have someone in her life…. Is she happy.” Cans voice was trembling as he asked the questions, but these were the things that had he had to know.

      Emre took a deep breath and exhaled with force, ” Abi, you still want to know about her. You left her. You walked away from HER…She was a basket case for weeks. I can’t tell you number of days that she sat in your office in the dark just waiting on you to call. She called you so many times without an answer, …. until she finally gave up.” Emre blurted out at him, still angry at how his brother had handled the whole thing.

      Can covered his face with his hands, ashamed of the things he had done. ” I know Emre, I know. But I was hurt also……did you ever think of that? She was the one person that I thought I could trust.” He stood quickly and walked across the room to the window. ” Ok, never mind. Just forget I asked about her.” He snapped at Emre.

      Aziz coughed, making both the brothers jump to his bedside, ” Dad are you ok. Do you need some water.” Emre asked, reaching for the glass. 

      His dad opened his eyes, ” No, no water. Just need to give you some advice.” He whispered.     ” If she is still in your heart….if she is still in your mind,…..and you do nothing, then one day you will be lying just as I am now regretting the life you lived.” Aziz mumbled, reaching for Cans hand.

      ” It’s never too late if you’re in love with the right person”………He said.

Chapter 6

Sanem listened intently as her mother relayed the findings of the tests to her. The doctors had made it quite clear that there wasn’t a lot they could do. His heart had just become too tired and weak to keep his body functioning. ” It’s just a matter of time my sweet daughter, and he knows that. But the doctors said he wasn’t through fighting just yet.” Her mom explained, as she gripped her hand tightly in hers. ” I know he was waiting for you to get here Sanem. He has missed you so much.” 

      Sanem nodded, ” I know mom, and I’m so sorry for not coming home earlier. I was selfish, I was going through my own pain and fears and never considered what you and dad were going through.” She spoke, hanging her head as that feeling of shame swept over her. 

      Over the years Sanem had thought about returning to Istanbul, but all the hurt and humiliation that she had suffered here always came to mind, and she would tell herself it wasn’t time to come back yet. So now she had come back to the worse heartbreak of all, to spend the final days with her dad.

      Leila had gone down to the cafeteria to get them all some tea. She knew they would have a hard time convincing her mom to go home for a rest, so at least they could make sure she kept her strength up.  Melihat was telling Mevkibe that she needed to go home for a few hours and rest as Leila entered the room. ” Yes, mom we agree, you need to get some rest. You can’t get sick too.” Sanem urged, stoking her mom’s face.

      Mevkibe put up a bit of resistance, but they finally got her to agree to go home and lay down for a while. ” Mom, Leila and I will stay here, you go home and get some sleep and a good hot shower. Dad will be fine. He is not going anywhere if you’re not here.” She ordered, hating to see her mom like that.

       Mevkibe gathered her things and was ready to leave, ” Girls, if anything happens you should let me know immediately, do you understand. I will take a shower and rest for a while, then I will be back. Please do not leave your father alone. Please.” She said, tears filling her eyes. 

       Sanem and Leila nodded, ” Mom we will be right here, now go, get some rest.” They told her as they ushered her out the door. Leila took them down the elevator and to the front door, hailed a cab for them, and gave her mom a kiss. ” Don’t worry mom, Sanem and I will take good care of him.” She whispered to her as she settled into the taxi.

      Leila stepped into the elevator and pushed the button for the 4th floor. She stood there alone and finally the reality of what was going to happen hit her, she was going to have to say goodbye to her dad. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, trying to hold back the tears, but they came anyway. She wondered how they would get through this as the tears streamed down her face.

      He looked so peaceful, she thought, as Sanem sat in the chair that was pulled up next to his bed. She watched him, studied his face, remembering all the times he had been the only one to understand her. The only one that accepted her for who she was. The one person that encouraged her to be the person she wanted to be. Now she would have to be there for him.

      The long hallway from the elevator to Nihats room at the end was busy. The nurses were hurrying about getting the patients ready for their evening meds as Leila made her way down to her dad’s room. Sanem was resting her head on the side of the bed as she walked in, ” Abla, are you ok, is dad ok?” She asked, tapping Sanem on the shoulder.

      Sanem looked up, her face red and blotchy from crying, ” Yes, I’m fine and so is dad, for now.” She stood and walked over to the window, ” Leila, I don’t know how I’m going to do it.” She whispered. Leila put her arm around her, ” We just will, that’s it. There’s nothing we can do or say to fix it, so we will help him through it.” She replied, finding a strength she didn’t know she had.

      The nurses brought in some extra pillows and blankets for Sanem and Leila. They were hoping that their mom would stay home for the night, but if they knew Mevkibe Aydin she wasn’t about to let anyone else take care of her husband. But they would take this time to catch up with each other’s life.

      They had pushed the chairs together and spread the blanket out over them, trying to get as comfortable as they could. Leila took Sanems hand, anxious to know what her life had been like the past 6 years. ” So, what is the place like that you live in. Is it an apartment or a house?” She asked, her voice bubbling with excitement.

      Sanem smiled, ” It’s a small house. But it’s very close to the beach. It’s quiet, and very homey.  It has a roof top terrace that’s wonderful. I sit up there and do most of my writing. You can see everything from there.” Sanem explained, getting that faraway look in her eyes.

      Leila laughed, ” Sounds beautiful. Maybe one day I can travel there to visit…maybe.” She said, as she gazed out the window, letting her mind wander. They sat there in the quiet for a while before Sanem gathered up enough nerve to ask her sister the question that had been on her mind since she boarded the plane home.

      ” Abla, how is everyone at the agency. Does CeyCey know that I’m here? He better come to see me.” She said, shaking her finger at her sister. Then she looked away quickly before asking the next question, ” So….what have you heard about Can. Is he still traveling about like an abandoned child?” she asked, her voice taking on a vulnerable tone.

      Leila studied her for a second before answering, ” Can Divit….now why are you asking about Can? I thought you would be long over him by now.” She replied, to wanting to get into the subject of Can, especially knowing that he was more than likely back in town.

      Sanem let out a sigh, ” I’m just asking, ok…..I’m curious that’s all. It’s not like I’m going to go hunt him down or something.” She huffed, as she stood and walked over to the window. 

      ” I really don’t know that much about him Sanem. Other than he is traveling around all over the country taking photos.” She told her. ” Don’t let coming back here a make you start thinking about him again. He hasn’t even been back here in several years.” 

      ” So, you don’t know anything about HIM, like his personal life. Has he gotten married or are him and Polen still dating, you know, maybe Mr. Emre had said something about him to you.” She said in a high-pitched voice, as she waved her arms around. 

      Sanem knew…well…she hoped that those things were not true. She had heard things about him over the years, but never that he had married. But she was in desperate need for someone to confirm that for her…

      Leila looked at her, ” Really, Can… married? She smirked. Sanem crossed her arms in a huff, staring out the window, ” Never mind, I’ll just ask CeyCey when I see him……I know he will tell me.” She said.

Chapter 7

The night was long, as the brothers sat by their dad’s bedside. Emre had gone to sleep on the small sofa that they had brought in for them, but Can was not as fortunate. All the memories and thoughts of his dad and the life he had lived before kept circling in his head.

      The absence from his father’s life over the last few years had been his choice, his decision. But those choices harmed him more than anything. He missed out on so much with his dad, all because he couldn’t face the thought of being in Istanbul.

      He looked out the huge window at the city that seemed to never sleep. It was always going, always moving, always busy. He had never liked that about this place. He thought of the neighborhood where Sanem lived, that almost quaint, rich with tradition and values place that had accepted him as their own. A place that had made him feel good about himself everytime he went there.

      He wished he could find a place outside under the stars to try and sleep. Can pulled a chair over next to the window, sat down and stretched his legs out and rested them on the window sill. This would have to do, he thought, his eyes feeling heavy from the lack of sleep. 

      The vision of Sanem picking wildflowers in the forest entered his mind, …he smiled as he remembered that day. A thought of her always came along at this time of day, no matter where he was or what he was doing, she was always lingering somewhere in his mind.

      It was early in the morning, before there were any signs of light to begin the day, when a nurse came in to check on Aziz.  Can sat up quickly, startled at first, until he realized where he was, “Oh nurse, sorry, I’m a little jumpy this morning. Is everything ok with dad?” he asked, rubbing his eyes to be able to focus.

     She nodded, “Yes, he seems to be holding his own. The doctor will be in before long to give him a more thorough check. Is there anything I can get you or your brother?” She inquired before leaving the room.  ” No thank you.” He answered, disappointed that she hadn’t given him a more positive answer.

      He stood and stretched, trying to unravel the kinked muscles in his back.  Another trip to the cafeteria for some tea and a bite to eat sounded good to him. He went to the bathroom, splashed some water on his face and smoothed down his long hair that was tied up in a bun, and headed to the elevator. 

      As he got to the elevator he looked to his right and noticed a lot of activity in the room at the end of the long corridor. He wondered what was going on, if that patient wasn’t doing well or maybe even worse. The doors of the elevator opened, and he stepped in, still watching the nurses hurrying about at the end of the hall.

      For some reason his heart felt sad for the person in that room, and the persons family as well, if the patient had taken a turn for the worse. He shook his head as if to cast out any of those bad thoughts, ” Why are you getting so upset about them, you don’t even know who they are.” He mumbled under his breath.

      He picked up a few things for breakfast, some fruit, toast and eggs, a cup of coffee for Emre and a cup of hot tea for himself.  He took the elevator up to the fourth floor. As the doors opened, he looked down to the end of the hallway. The area was quiet, no nurses, no rushing about. For some reason, he felt a huge relief as he stood there for a second, watching. He pushed away that intense urge to walk down the hallway to the room on the right, to check on the person the was lying there and their family. 

      He forced himself to turn right and head on to his father’s room with the food he had brought for him and Emre. His brother was just moving around as he entered the room, ” Good morning, I brought you some coffee and some food. The doctor didn’t come in, did he?” Can asked as he sat the food out on the small table. Emre shook his head, ” No not yet, but Deren called to check on dad. She is coming up later, so if you need anything we can tell her to bring it.”

      Can nodded, wishing that CeyCey would be the one to visit. He had missed his friend and was anxious to see him. ” Maybe I will call CeyCey, I thought he would have been here by now.” Can added. 

      The doctor came in the middle of their breakfast. ” Guys, I’m going to ask you to step out for a few minutes while I check on Aziz. Then I will join you in the hallway when I’m through.” He said, giving them a pat on the shoulder.

      ” Sure, we will be right outside.” Can answered, taking the last sip of his tea before going out the door. They both paced the hallway in front of the door, anxious to hear some good news. In about 20 minutes the door opened, and the doctor came out. His face didn’t have that look of dismay or dread like it did before, he actually smiled at them. ” Boys, I have a bit of good news, your dad’s oxygen level has improved and his heart rate as well. He is doing better, but we aren’t out of the woods yet. He is awake and would like to see you both.” The doctor said with a smile.

      Can and Emre shook the doctor’s hand, ” Thank you, so there is reason to think he may come out of this after all?” Can asked before heading in to see his dad. The doctor was of course hesitant to give too much hope but he did agree, ” Yes, there is a possibility, but as I said, this may be short term. Enjoy this time right now Can.” He told him, patting his hand.

      Aziz was happy to see both Can and Emre, ” Boys, I’m glad you’re here, both of you.” He said, his voice weak. ” Now wipe those frowns from your face, you may not be getting rid of me just yet.” Aziz managed a weak smile as he motioned for them to move closer. ” Listen, for some reason it seems it may not be my time to leave you, but I will not have these long faces.” He told them, ” You both look worse than I do, so go home and get some rest. I’ll be right here when you come back.” 

     They both gave their objections to leaving, ” No, we will stay right here dad.” Can spoke, “Emre and I aren’t going anywhere, so don’t insist.” He hadn’t felt this hopeful since he arrived in Istanbul the day before. 

      Can had been confined in that small hospital room for over 24 hours and the need to feel the breeze against his skin was almost more than he could stand. ” Dad, Emre, I think I will it you two have some time together and I’m going to get some fresh air for a while. Emre, I will be in the garden area if anything happens, but I won’t be long.” 

      He grabbed his jacket and headed out the door. He heard an all too familiar voice as he got closer to the elevators. ” Excuse me nurse, I am looking for..” CeyCey had started to ask, but his question was cut short. 

      ” CeyCey, is that you. It’s about time you got here.”  Can called out from a few feet down the hall.  ” We are down this way, come this way.” Can said wrapping his welcoming arms around his friend. ” I’m glad you’re here. I have missed you.”  He muttered in his ear.

      CeyCey returned the hug but surprised to see Can there. He had come to this hospital to see Sanem and her dad.         His mind was confused, So Mr. Aziz and Mr. Nihat are in the same hospital….and on the same floor…. So that means that Can and Sanem are here at the same time……together.

Chapter 8

The hug lasted longer than either of them had expected. ” Can, so Mr. Aziz is on this floor. Which room is he in?” CeyCey asked trying not to act surprised at the appearance of Can. Can looped arm around CeyCeys shoulders, ” Just right down here, come on, dad will be happy to see you.” He said as they walked down the hall. 

       They stopped in front of room 406. As hard as CeyCey tried to hide his nervousness, he was in shock that Mr. Aziz was on the same floor and only several rooms away from Mr. Nihat. He had called Sanem on his way to the hospital, letting her know that he was on his way. She gave him room number of 432. 

      ” Come on CeyCey, don’t be so nervous. Dad is doing better; the doctor just gave us a good report.  He will be so glad to see you.” Can opened the door and went in, bringing CeyCey in with him.

      “Look who I found at the nurses station asking for your room.” Can bellowed out exuberantly. CeyCey seemed to be in some kind of a weird dream. But he knew he had to hold it together or Can would know there was something wrong. 

      ” Mr. Aziz, I hear you are feeling a little better. I’m…uhh, …I am glad for that. I wanted…uhh…to stop by and send you best wishes, …uhh, …. from everyone at the agency.” He studdered about, wring his hands.  

      Can smiled, ” It’s ok CeyCey. We are just glad that you’re here. Here sit.” Can said, motioning him toward the chair by the window. ” So how have you been. I can’t believe it’s been 4 years since I’ve seen you. I want to know everything.” Can said as he began to feel that old feeling of contentment that he always got around his friend.

      He moved over closer to CeyCey, ” I really want to talk to you alone, if you can. Maybe a little later we can go for a drink or something.”  Can said quietly, almost under his breath. CeyCey nodded, ” Of course Can. I can’t stay long, …. so..uhh…maybe I can call you later and set a time.”

      ” Ok, that will be great.” Can said, but he was confused at CeyCeys actions. He was more nervous than usual, more strained and uneasy than Can had remembered. He had acted that way when he was trying to keep a secret, Can thought, but he didn’t know why he would be keeping a secret from him now…

      CeyCey stood, wanting nothing more than to escape from the room, but before he could make his excuse to leave, his phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and Sanem’s name was displayed on the front of his phone, …visible to him and to Can, almost like a neon sign. 

      CeyCey quickly declined the call, but it was too late, Can had already seen the person that was calling. CeyCey stuffed the phone back in his pocket, ” Mr. Aziz, I will come back tomorrow. I am glad you are feeling better. The office will be happy to hear it.” He mumbled, as he made his way to the door, avoiding any eye contact with Can.

      Aziz waved his goodbye as CeyCey stepped out into the hall. Can followed him out, stopping him outside the door. ” So, …you keep in contact with Sanem. I mean you know about her, what she’s doing, how she’s doing.” Can asked, with a hint of desperation.

      CeyCey felt his heart skip a beat, “Can, I really have to go, but we can talk later, ok?” He answered hastily as he started down the hallway. ” WAIT, CeyCey, you will get-together with me, won’t you. I have to know about her, that’s all, I just want to know she is ok.” Can pleaded with his eyes.

     CeyCey nodded, ” Of course Can, I will call you soon.” he said as he hurried on down the hallway. 

      Can stood there watching him, more confused than ever about his feelings. Is that really all he wanted; did he only want to know if she was ok? He turned and went back inside his dad’s room. The need to get some fresh air was still on his mind. ” Emre, I will be back soon, I need to get some air.” Can said, giving him a wave.

      CeyCey waited until Can went back inside the room before he asked the nurse for directions to room 432. ” It’s down this corridor, the last door on the left.” The nurse told him. CeyCey hurried down the hall toward the room, his mind abuzz about what he was going to tell Sanem.

      The thought of them being in Istanbul at the same time had been troublesome enough, but now they were in the same hospital and on the same floor of that hospital. How was he going to pull this off, he wondered as he stopped in front of the room. He took a deep breath and entered.

      The sight of his friend made him happy as he entered the room, ” Sanem, I made it. Aunt Mevkibe, Aunt Melihat.” He said giving each if them a nod. Sanem put her hands over her mouth, as she tried to hold back the tears. ” CeyCey, I thought you would never get here.” she muttered, rushing across the room to hug him.

      ” It’s ok my friend, I’m here.” He whispered. With just a touch from her closest friend, the person that had helped her through the hardest time in her life, the one person that knew her almost as well as she knew herself, she was able to let go of those tears that she had held in since she had arrived in Istanbul.

     After a few moments, he greeted Mevkibe and Melihat as well, with a kiss on the hand. CeyCey walked to the bed to greet Mr. Nihat as well, ” Mr. Nihat, my prayers of a full and speedy recovery are with you, I hope you know that.” He spoke softly with tears filling his eyes. The sight of this man was shocking to him. Nihat Aydin had always been a large man, one that always had looked the picture of health. But now his illness seemed to be fighting against him, reducing him to the frail and weak person that he was seeing now.

      Nihat managed a slight smile, ” Thank you CeyCey, I am sure that your prayers will help.” He answered, covering CeyCeys hand with his own. CeyCey smiled, holding back the tears.

      CeyCey knew he needed to let Leila know that Aziz Divit was in a room just a short distance down the hall. He would need to get Leila alone, so he had to lie, something he had always avoided if he could. ” Leila, could I see you in the hall for a minute, it’s about work, and I don’t want to bore the others with it.” He said looking around the room. He gave Sanem a quick hug, ” I’ll be right back, then we can spend the rest of the afternoon together just catching up.” He said with a wink.

      As they stepped outside the room Leila knew that this conversation would have nothing to do with work…” Ok CeyCey what is it…I know it’s not about work.” She whispered to him.

      ” No, it’s not….but I have to tell you. Mr. Aziz is in a room just down the hall and around the corner. And Can is there right now”……..

Chapter 9

Leila gasped, she never thought that Aziz Divit could possibly be in the same hospital as her dad, let alone on the same floor and only a short distance away.

      ” CeyCey are you sure. You’re sure he is just down the hall?” She asked, her voice raspy. CeyCey nodded, ” I’m positive. I just came from there. Can caught me at the nurses’ station as I was about to ask for directions to your dads room. He thought I was looking for them, so he whisked me off down the hall to Mr. Aziz’s room 406. So yes, I am sure.”  He replied sarcastically.

      Leila held her head and paced back and forth in front of the door. ” We can’t let them see each other CeyCey. I don’t know what Sanem would do if she ran into him.” She mumbled frantically. She stopped abruptly in front of CeyCey, ” You know she’s already asking about him. If I knew anything about him.” She spewed, shaking her head. ” And she’s going to ask you too, she said so. I couldn’t tell her anything about him, so she got huffy and said she would just ask you.”

      CeyCey’s throat tightened, ” Leila….Can did the same thing. And he wants to meet me later to talk. He saw Sanem’s name come up on my phone when she called a bit ago.” He told her, as he fidgeted about. ” He knows I still talk to her. And he wants to know about her.” He leaned back against the wall letting out a heavy sigh.

      Leila thought for a second, she knew there would be no way around it if they both were wanting to know about the other. But she didn’t want to be the one to tell her sister that the person she had spent the last 6 years trying to forget was in fact just down the hall.

      ” CeyCey, I think we need to keep this to ourselves for now. Like we have no idea that Can Divit is even in Istanbul. That’s the only way, for now anyway. I’m afraid that Sanem will jump on the first plane back to Spain if or when she finds out he’s here.” Leila replied.

      ” I think you may be right, but what do I say to Can. You know I’m the worst at lying, especially to Can or Sanem.” CeyCey exclaimed, already dreading the thought if it. He knew that ignoring him would not work, not with Can Divit, and not if he really wanted to know something. The stress was already beginning to wear on him, and he wished he had never came to the hospital when he did.

       The door swung open and Sanem stood there glaring at the two of them, ” Hey, what’s going on. That’s enough of talking about work. Come on CeyCey, let’s go get some air.” Sanem grumbled as she snatched ahold of CeyCeys arm, pulling him down the hallway and toward the elevator.

      As hard as CeyCey tried to resist, he also knew this woman better than most people, and if she wanted to get some air, then they would get some air. He looked desperately over his shoulder at Leila as Sanem pulled him away from Mr. Nihats room.

      ” Leila, we will be back soon. Call me if there is any change with dad.”  She called back to her sister. She glanced at CeyCey, ” What’s wrong with you, you look as white as a ghost. We’re just going for a walk, just relax.” She muttered to her friend.

      As they got to the end of the hallway, CeyCey looked around nervously. He quickly looked down the hallway toward room 406 which was on his left. He didn’t see Can, so he quickly pushed the down button on the elevator. Sanem was babbling on about something, but he hadn’t heard a word she was saying as they waited for the doors to open on the elevator.

      ” Sanem, my dear, let’s take the stairs.” CeyCey blurted out all of a sudden, interrupting what Sanem was saying. She looked at him, puzzled at his unusual behavior. ” Why, the elevator should be here soon. You are so nervous, what is going on.” Sanem questioned him. 

      She knew that CeyCey was completely different from other people. He was always a little bit unhinged, but today he was really acting strange, she thought. But maybe it was just because she hadn’t been around him for so long, maybe that was it, she wondered, as she let him lead the hallway toward the stairs.

      CeyCey knew that Sanem was taking him away from everyone else just to talk to him about Can. His head was already filled with the questions he knew she would ask. But what he didn’t know was what answered he was going to give her.

      The fresh air felt good as they stepped out the door of the hospital. She stopped and drew in the smell, tilting back her head to let the sunshine cover her face with warmth. ” Oh, CeyCey my friend, how I have missed the smell of this city. You wouldn’t think that there would be a difference in the air, but there is.” She spoke, her eyes closed and a smile across her face.

      They headed down the sidewalk toward the small park that was adjacent to the hospital. It was full of flowers and trees, and there were benches scattered throughout, nestled up next to the flowers. ” Here, let’s sit.” She said, stopping in front of one of the benches along the stone pathway. CeyCey nodded hesitantly, knowing what was coming next.

      She snuggled up next to him with her head resting on his shoulder. She felt the comfort of his arms around her. ” CeyCey, I have missed this place and you, so much. I thought I was doing so well in Puerto Baquerizo Moreno, well I am doing well, it’s just, this is home still.” Sanem spoke softly.

      CeyCey hugged her up a little tighter to his body, ” I missed you too, and so did Gulize. How is your home there in San Cristobal. Do you have a lot of friends, I know you do. You talked to me about a couple a girls you met there.” He asked, trying to keep the conversation from Can.

      Sanem smiled slightly, ” Yes, I have a couple of good girlfriends, and they keep me busy.” She answered. CeyCey knew she had never mentioned a man to him in any of their many conversations, besides her publisher in agent Javier Soto, but he needed to ask that question anyway… ” So Sanem, you haven’t met another man there. Someone that you have feelings for. What about Javier, your agent?” He asked her cautiously. 

     Sanem rose up, looking him in the face, ” What, another man? Well, no not exactly, not a man that I would consider letting into my heart. And Javier, we did go out to dinner a few times, you know, when I went to Madrid, and when he came to San Cristobal.” Sanem told him, looking quite puzzled at his question.

     ” CeyCey, my heart has had only one love. I thought that you of all people would understand that.” She uttered in astonishment. ” So, to answer the question that you do not want to ask, … I haven’t replaced Can with anyone else. 

      She felt the sting of the tears as they filled her eyes, ” Are you trying to tell me that Can Divit has found another woman. Is he in love with someone CeyCey?”  She asked as her voice cracked with emotion….

Chapter 10

After the visit from CeyCey, Can took the elevator down to the lobby and headed out the front doors of the hospital, still feeling uneasy with the way that his friend had acted in his dad’s room. ” It was as if he didn’t want to talk to me. Can thought. 

      They had been close friends before he left Istanbul. He had confided in CeyCey on many occasions but his feelings for Sanem. All he wanted to do was talk to him about her. No one else could understand, or would understand the love he had for her.

      With his head in a jumble and his heart even more unsettled than before, he had found that he had walked all the way to the pier without even noticing it. The one place that Sanem had always came to when she needed to think. 

      He sat down on the first bench he came to. The smell of the air and the feel of the moisture from the sea was something he had missed more than he realized. He closed his eyes, letting his feelings comfort him. 

      He knew he should be worrying about his dad. He should be feeling the heartache of possibly losing the only person that had been a constant and positive figure in his life…but his mind was filled only with her. Coming back to this place had stirred up all those feelings that he hadn’t dealt with.

      He watched the people as they hurried about on the pier, and he remembered the times they had been there together. He searched up and down the pier, hoping that he could see her. But he knew she wasn’t there. She had gone to follow the dream she had told him about so long ago.

      That night in Agua was still as vivid in his mind as if it was the night before. Her innocence, her honesty, her vulnerability, all those things had captured his heart like no one else. She was so sure she would go to Galápagos Islands and live her dreams that she made him believe it too.

       His throat began to tighten as he relived all those times they had together. The ring of his phone broke the thoughts in his mind, ” Hello Emre, is everything ok, Dad?” He asked. ” Yes, everything is fine, I just wondered what was taking you so long. Dad was asking for you.” Emre answered.

      Can looked at the time, shocked to see that he had been gone for over two hours. ” I’m sorry Emre. I’m coming back right now. I lost track of time.” He spoke, standing to head back to the hospital. ” Abi, where are you. Are you ok, you didn’t go someplace that you shouldn’t have, did you?” Emre asked, afraid that he had gone to Sanem’s old neighborhood hoping to find her.

      ” And where would that be Emre? I came to the pier, that’s all. I needed to get some air, that’s all.” He huffed. ” I’m on my way back now.” He growled. ” Why does everyone think they know what I’m thinking or doing all the time. This is exactly the reason I stay to myself……at least I don’t have to answer any questions.”  He thought as he headed back toward the hospital.

      He wasn’t sure if it was his dad’s illness or the return to Istanbul that had him so burden down with memories and thoughts of the life he had lived there. He wanted more than anything to talk to CeyCey, but he would get back to the hospital and check on his dad first before calling his friend to set up a time to meet. 

      There was so much to catch up on. He would be the first to admit that he hadn’t stayed in contact with CeyCey as he should have. There had been little or no contact for that first year he had been gone, but in his defense, he hadn’t contacted anyone during that time. The hurt was as raw as a fresh cut to his heart, and the less he thought about Istanbul, the agency and HER, the better.

      Sanem knew CeyCey well enough to know he was avoiding the question, ” CeyCey, I can take it, you can tell me. Does Can have a woman in his life?” She spoke, looking into his eyes. CeyCey could never lie to her, at least not face to face. 

      He looked away, ” Sanem I didn’t mean that, and no he doesn’t, not to my knowledge anyway. I am just concerned about you.” He continued, wanting desperately to erase the look of hurt from her face.

      Sanem took a deep breath, ” So you are saying he doesn’t have another woman in his life.” She stuttered, begging him with her eyes to give her the answer that she wanted. CeyCey stood quickly, ” We should get back to your dad, they will be worried about you.” 

      She stood, facing him, ” You haven’t answered my question, were you saying that Can doesn’t have someone.” She spoke, her voice demanding him to answer.

      He hesitated for just a second before answering. Sanem slapped her hand over her mouth, “CeyCey, he isn’t married….is he? The words felt like sharp needles as she recited them, making her wince and her stomach come up into her throat…

      CeyCey shook his head, “No Sanem, he is not married, and he doesn’t have another woman, as of the last time we talked. So please relax about Can. I thought you had moved on with your life, you told me you had, you told me you were living for yourself now. So, what happened Sanem, why all the questions about Can Divit.”

      She felt the burning tears well up in her eyes, ” I don’t know CeyCey. But the minute I knew I was returning to Istanbul Can Divit entered my head, and I can’t seem to get him out. I know it’s not right but…it’s just this place, everything here reminds me of us,..together.” She cried, wrapping her arms around herself.

      CeyCey fidgeted around, he hated it when she cried. ” Sanem come on let’s go back to the room. Aunt Mevkibe will be worried, and anyway, there’s nothing more to say.” He urged her back toward the hospital. She shook her head, ” Not yet ok. I have to pull myself together. You go ahead and I’ll come in a bit.” 

      He hated to leave her there alone, but she insisted. ” Ok, then I’m going to just go. I will call you later and maybe we can get together for dinner or something. Sanem…don’t let yourself go back to the past, if it hurts this badly you may just have to let it go.” He whispered, holding her close to him.

      She nodded in agreement, ” I know, and I won’t. I’ll be leaving as soon as my dad is better anyway. I wish I didn’t have to come back here, ever.” She sighed, wiping the tears from her cheeks.

       She watched her friend walk away and get in the taxi before sitting back down on the bench. Yes, she never wanted to come back here again, but she knew that wasn’t a possibility, not with her mom and sister both here……

        The sound of the birds made her happy, as she searched the trees looking for them. The garden was beautiful, full of trees and flowers everywhere. It made her think of the mountain hut that Can had taken her to the day she had been his model. 

      She closed her eyes, just listening and feeling, remembering. In her heart, that day she knew she loved him. But she couldn’t love him……she shouldn’t love him…..So, she wouldn’t love him…

Chapter 11

The walk back to the hospital had taken longer than he expected, as he saw the hospital come into view. He wasn’t sure if the walk had done any good or not. He was still feeling the same turmoil as he had when he got off the plane some 30 hours ago. 

      He shook his head trying to shake the thoughts of her from his mind before returning back to his dad’s room. Oh how he wished all of this hadn’t happened. His dad’s sickness was the only thing that brought him back here. 

     If this didn’t turn out well for his dad, and he had to say goodbye to him, he would have to make that decision to never return to Istanbul again. It hurt too much to come home, the memories hung in every inch of this place. He felt his throat tighten at the thought of never seeing his beloved city again, but that may be the only way he could live the rest of his life without his Sanem.

      Sanem had pulled herself together quickly after CeyCey left. She knew she had to go back inside, so she hurried across the entryway of the hospital and in the door. The elevator door opened just as she arrived in front of it and Melihat exited, ” Sanem, there you are girl. Your dad has been asking for you. Go, go, be with him. I am going to make a few phones calls outside and then I will be back.” She explained, rushing out the sliding doors.

      A strange feeling crept in as she pushed the button for the fourth floor and the elevator doors closed. Was the end coming for her dad, she wondered. If it was, how would she be able to stand it. Her heart was in her throat as the door of the elevator opened on the fourth floor and she walked down the hallway toward her dad’s room. 

      Can was still lost in his thoughts as he entered the front doors of the hospital. The doors to the elevator had just closed so he pushed the button for the next one. The waiting was something he never liked, not for an elevator or for anything as a matter of fact. Finally, the door open, he stepped aside for the two people that were exiting and then he entered. 

      He looked out across the huge lobby of the hospital, just waiting for the door to close when he saw a woman outside of the entrance talking on the phone. His heart skipped a beat, ” I know that woman….it’s Aunt Melihat,…is it her.”  He blinked his eyes a few times to make the view of her clearer.  ” It is Melihat….from Sanems neighborhood.” 

       The doors closed slowly as he stood there staring out in disbelief. Once the doors were closed, he began to second guess himself. ” No… I don’t think it was her. It was someone that just looked like her.”  He thought, as the elevator started up to the fourth floor. But in the back of his mind, he was still thinking about it. He hadn’t seen her for many years, so maybe it wasn’t her, ” No, I was wrong, ..it wasn’t her.”  He concluded, pushing the thought from his mind.

      In a few minutes he opened the door to his dads’ room, ” Emre, I’m back, is everything ok.” Can asked quietly as not to disturb his dad.  Emre motioned him toward the door, opening it and pulling him out into the hallway. ” The doctor came in and checked on dad. He said he is improving. The oxygen level has come up some, so the meds they are giving him are finally working.” Emre spoke with excitement.

      Can couldn’t believe his ears, ” Really Emre, he is giving us some hope. That’s such good news.” He replied, giving his brother a hug. ” Yes, it is. But he is still not out of the woods yet. He doesn’t want us to get overly confident, but he is better.” Emre smiled.

      Can leaned back against the wall, exhausted and weary from the whole ordeal. ” Abi, I think we could use some coffee, what do you think?” Emre asked, patting Can on the shoulder. Can nodded, ” I think you’re right, but I would prefer tea, if you don’t mind.”  Emre bowed, ” Then tea it is Abi. Stay with dad and I’ll be back.” 

      Can entered his dad’s room, his body relieved of some of its tension. He sat down in the chair next to his dad. ” Well, I guess the doc is thinking I might make it through this.” His dad spoke in a whisper. It startled Can making him jump, ” Oh dad, I thought you were asleep. How are you?” he asked, placing his hand on his dads.

      Aziz opened his eyes, ” Can, you look worse than I do. Stop worrying about me…you need to worry about yourself.” He mumbled, giving him a smile and a wink. Can lowered his head and smiled. His dad always knew when he was troubled over something. ” But dad, how can I not worry about you.” He answered …

      Aziz grunted, ” Uhh, but it’s not me you’re so worried about, is it. I see the turmoil of a lost love in your face. Why are you torturing yourself?” Aziz spoke in a weak voice. Can waved his hand, ” Dad, I’m not going to talk about that with you. That’s not why I’m here in Istanbul, I’m here for you.” He spoke with definition.

      His dad smiled, ” Ok, have it your way. But the longer you wait, the more distant your hearts will be from each other. I am no expert, but if you haven’t forgotten her in over six years…my guess is you will never forget her.” Aziz spoke as he closed his eyes again.

      Can sat back in the chair, processing what his dad had just said. “Why did he know me so well. Why did he always say the things that I knew in my heart but was to stubborn to admit.”  He took a deep breath, reveling in the joy of knowing he would have his father around for a while longer.

      Leila met Sanem at the doorway, ” Abla, we have a glimmer of hope. The doctor thinks that dad is getting stronger. All the test results are improved. Can you believe it?” Leila spoke quietly to her sister, giving her a tight hug.

      Sanem was weak from the news, ” Are you sure. He is getting better. I can’t believe it; I mean I prayed so hard for it and now it’s happening.” She muttered, holding back the tears of joy that had filled her.

      Leila held her finger to her lips, ” Shhhh, mom is asleep. She all but collapsed after the good news from the doctor.”  She said to her as they walked into the room. She could see the improvement in her dad. His color was better, he even has a slight smile on his face as he slept.

      Sanem felt as if this huge burden had been lifted from her shoulders for a specific reason. If her dad recovered, she would be able to return to her home in Puerto Baquerizo Moreno without such a feeling of guilt.

      She could leave Istanbul just as she had before, but without the broken heart, just with the memories of the love that would never leave her……Can Divit would be the only love of her life, that she knew for sure….

Chapter 12

Melihat opened the door quietly and peeked inside. Leila motioned for her to enter. ” I’m glad Mevkibe is still asleep, she was running on pure adrenaline for the past couple of days.” Melihat muttered to Leila and Sanem.

      They nodded, both of them very aware of their mother’s dedication to the dad. The thought of how devoted her mom had always been to her dad brought the thought of how she herself had been that way with Can. She would have done anything for him, and she did. 

      The selling of her perfume to Fabri had been a difficult decision for her. That formula for the crème had been pasted down to her from her grandmother, which in turn had been given to her from her grandmother. So, to give it away to a person like Fabri was almost like defying her heritage.

      She gave it away willingly and unconditionally to save Can. Yes, and she would do it again, even knowing the consequences. A wave of emotion swept over her as she thought of him and how much she loved him. ” She would do it again.” She thought. Her love for him was that strong.”   But she knew she would never have that chance again, Can had made sure of that when he walked out of her life and never looked back.

      Her dad coughed and opened his eyes, ” My girls, why are you all still here. Go home and get some rest, I’m not going anywhere.” He mumbled with a smile. ” Leila take your mom home, she needs her rest.” 

      They agreed, and with some persuasion they finally got Mevkibe to agree to go home for a while. ” I will be back before evening Nihat. I won’t leave you here alone overnight.” She spoke, giving it as an order.

      They were gathering up their things when Sanems’ phone rang. She glanced at the name on the phone, ” Oh, this is Javier. I will need to take it. I will step outside in the hall.” She told them. She stepped out and walked to the end of the corridor before answering, ” Hello Javier, how are you?” She asked. ” My Sanem, it is I that should be asking you that question.” Javier replied to her. She closed her eyes, ” Javier it is so good to hear your voice.” She responded, feeling a calmness spread over her.

      Her relationship with Javier Soto was a very special relationship. To Sanem he was the strength that she had needed when she found herself in San Cristobal, but Javier wanted a much more meaningful relationship. 

      Javier was the person that had taken her first book and made it and her a well-known name in several countries. He was her publisher, her friend and her companion on many occasions, but never had she considered him anymore than that.

      ” I’m doing better. We just received at bit of good news.” Sanem replied. ” Dad seems to be getting better. He is responding to the medication very well.” She told him, her heart feeling lighter. 

      ” I’m so happy for you sweetie. So, does that mean you will be going home soon?” He asked. Javier’s English was not very good, but Sanem had learned Spanish quite well over the years, so they always spoke in his native tongue. ” Possibly, but I’m not sure when yet.” She replied to him in Spanish.

       The thought of leaving Istanbul so soon was gnawing at her a bit. There were still some places she wanted to visit, and some people she wanted to see before she set her heart on going back to the islands. ” I will let you know when I make my plans to return home.” She told him, making sure he knew that the decision would be hers. 

      Emre came in with a coffee and tea for Can, ” Here, not sure how good this tea will be, but at least it’s hot. And I brought a chocolate bar to go with it.” He said, offering the bar to his brother. ” Well, it seems there is some problem at the agency that needs my attention. Will you be ok dad while I go see what’s up.” Emre asked, patting his dads’ hand.

      Aziz nodded, ” Of course I will. You both should go get some rest. You have been here for hours and hours. I am feeling much better.” He stated, in a very authoritative voice. 

      Emre smiled, ” Very well. Can are you staying or are you going to go home and get some rest?” He asked as he took a swig of coffee. ” I’ll stay for a bit, then I will take a taxi to the house. Is my truck still in storage.” He inquired, feeling to need to get out in the fresh air for a while.

      Emre told him his truck was still there and he had made sure to take care of it, ” I have driven it on occasion, just to keep it in running order, but it’s there waiting for you.” He answered before heading out. ” See you later at home….and Can, I’m glad you’re here.” he said as he closed the door.

      ” Can, please go and get some rest. I’m fine here, I will sleep and get stronger and stronger, you’ll see.” Aziz told him. Can was aching to get out of there, he never liked being shut up in one place, let alone a hospital for a very long period of a time. ” Are you sure. I hate to leave you here alone.” 

      The nurse entered as Can was talking, “Oh no need to worry about Mr. Divit, he will be in good hands, and he does need his rest. We will take good care of him.” She told Can. He nodded, ” Ok then, I will leave you for a while, but I’ll be back by dinner time.” Can spoke, giving his dad a wink. 

      The thought of going home had brought him mixed feelings. There were many memories that still filled his head of his home. He headed down the hallway to the elevator, his mind still in a slurry of thoughts. He was still processing the unexpected good news from the doctor in his head as he stopped in front of the elevator and pushed the down button. 

      He stood there waiting for the elevator, and listening to the noise of the nurse’s station behind him. In the distance he heard a familiar voice, but not one he could completely recognize. The voice was speaking a different language so he didn’t concentrate on it very much. 

      The door opened to the elevator and he stepped in, his head still in a fog of the recent news and his old memories. Just as the doors were closing, he heard a laugh…not just any laugh, but her laugh. It took him a second to realize he heard it. By then the doors were closed and he was heading down to the ground floor.

      He stood there in a state of shock and his body trembling… Had it been…no, I was just his mind playing tricks on him, he told himself. It couldn’t have been her. The voice was speaking in Spanish, so…. No, it wasn’t her.

      He took a very deep, and long breath.  Get ahold of yourself. She isn’t here…..she doesn’t live here anymore…….He said to himself. 

      But he wondered, “ Then why does it feel like she is…..why does she feel so close.

Chapter 13

Can was in a daze as he walked off the elevator and headed out the front entrance of the hospital. He waved for the taxi that was sitting near the front door, threw his duffel bag in the seat and slid inside. He barely remembered giving the driver the address, but some time later there they were, pulling up in from of the house.

      He handed him the fare, climbed out and headed to the door. This house had been his home for only a short time,  it it held more memories than any other place he had stayed. So many things had happened here, so many memories of Sanem. 

      He would take the guest room the was close to the kitchen, he thought, tossing his bag on the bed.  He didn’t want to boot Emre out of the master bedroom, even though that had always been his bedroom. He sighed, “ But I guess I gave up the privilege the night I left here.” 

      The garden was calling to him, it had always been his favorite place when he was here. He poured himself a shot of whiskey and walked out into the familiar back garden. Everything was still the same, he thought, as he looked around at the furniture, the landscape, even the football goal was still there. But the thing he remembered most was the times he had spent here with Sanem.

      Can perched himself on the ledge overlooking the pool. The sound of that laughter from earlier was still replaying in his head. He knew for sure it wasn’t her, so his mind must be playing tricks on him, that was the only explanation. He needed to talk to CeyCey, that was for sure.

      He pulled out his phone and tapped his name on the phone. It took a few rings before he answered, ” Hello, Can? Is everything ok with Mr. Aziz?”  CeyCey asked with anticipation. 

      ” CeyCey, I need to talk to you. I’m at the house. Can you come over?” He spoke quietly and calmly with a sound of desperation in his voice. CeyCey knew he couldn’t avoid this talk any longer so he agreed he would come as soon as he left the agency. ” Are you ok Can. You sound as if you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders.” His friend asked.

      Can chuckled, ” Do I? Well I just might be. I just really need to talk right now. No one else ever understood my feelings about Sanem like you did.” He answered, as he gazed at the whiskey glass.

      Leila had agreed to stay with her mom at the hospital. Of course Mevkibe had refused to leave Nihat bedside, even though he was getting better with every passing hour. Sanem wanted to go home, shower and change, so she took Leilas car and Melihat and headed to the old neighborhood, promising to be back early the next morning to relieve them.

      Sanem had almost forgotten about the hassle of driving in this city. The traffic was always horrendous, so unlike the town she lived in on the island of San Cristobal. The commute from the hospital to the neighborhood took them almost 45 minutes, giving Melihat plenty of time to question Sanem about her life.

      ” So Sanem, you know it’s not proper for a young and beautiful girl like you to be living alone, don’t you.” Melihat spoke, looking at her with raised eyebrows. ” Have you not found a gentleman there that is willing to share your life.” She inquired, waiting for Sanem to give her the next bit of gossip for the neighborhood ladies.

      ” Sorry aunt Melihat, but there doesn’t seem to be any man in Puerto Baquerizo Moreno that is that desperate yet.” Sanem responded, giving her smile and a wink. Melihat knew better, Sanem had always been one of the most sought-after young girls in their neighborhood. But once Can Divit came into the picture, Sanem wouldn’t even look at anyone else

      She was glad when she finally pulled up in front of her parent’s house, ” Ok here we are auntie.” She announced, ready for the inquisition to be over. Melihat smiled, ” Thank you my dear, but don’t think the conversation is over….no, it is not over..” She stated, giving Sanem that look of determination.

      Sanem gave Melihat a wave as she started off down the street. She grabbed her bag from the car, hoping that the extra key was still under the mat at the from door. It had been a few years since she had walked through this door. All of her life had been lived right inside this door, but all that she could recall at that moment was the times that Can had knocked on her door.

      She took a deep welcomed breath as she turned the key. She kicked off her shoes and slipped on her slippers, the same pair of slippers she had worn forever.  Nothing has changed, she thought, everything is still the same. Even the smell was the same. She walked through to the kitchen and then on out to the garden table. 

      Tears rimmed her eyes. The first thought that came to mind wasn’t of all the dinners that she had shared with her family there, or the hours of writing that she had done while sitting at this table. Her thought was of the time that Can came there wanting to tell her parents that he was in love with her, and how she quickly lied her way out of it.

      She closed her eyes trying to close off the vision of so many memories that had flooded her mind. Even her childhood home held so many images of “him” that it was hard focus.

      She climbed the stairs and walked down the hallway to her old room. She hesitated, dreading to open the door. This room had been her place of solitude, her place of becoming who she was, her place of finding her heart. She opened the door slowly, wishing that everything would still be the same.

      The first thing she saw was her desk. It was across the room in the same spot at always. Her vanity, her wardrobe….everything was in its place. She scanned the room, letting her eyes touch each area of her room, before turning to the most important spot in her room….

      The huge poster of the Albatross flying with it’s mate still hung on the wall. A strange tingly feeling passed through her body as she stood looking at it. She remembered the many nights that she had laid in her bed and wished for her albatross. A person as bold and spectacular as this giant bird to sweep down from the sky and change her life…

      How many people can say that their dream, the only dream they had ever had, had came true. Her Albatross had found her. He, Can Divit, her albatross, had entered her life in the boldest, most unexpected manner….with a kiss in the dark.

      In the moment of mistaken identity, her life was turned upside down. She could still feel his lips in hers that night. She could feel her body suspended in this air of a fantasy. 

      She forced her eyes to look away as she examined the rest of her room. There were still two jars of her creme sitting on the shelf beside her vanity. She had named each jar of creme as she made it, to remind her of the most eventful times in her life. 

      One jar had the word, Cabin, written on it, and the other jar had the word, Hammock, written on it. Both of these jars were left unopened and unused. 

     These were reminders……reminders of how happy she had been, once upon a time…

Chapter 14

Can had three drinks down by the time that CeyCey rang the doorbell. The sight of his friend was just as welcomed then as the first time he saw him at the hospital. ” Come in, come in.” Can motioned, reaching out to give him a hug. 

      CeyCey stepped inside and gave his friend a huge hug in return. He could tell that Can had had a drink or two by the slight redness of his eyes. ” So Mr. Aziz is feeling better?” He asked. Can smiled, ” Yes, he is. I don’t know how, but that man is stronger than all of us.” He replied shaking his head. 

     They headed to the living room, ” Do you want a drink CeyCey, whiskey, tea or I can make some coffee?” He asked. CeyCey was nervous to say the least, and the caffeine from that strong Turkish coffee might make it worse, but he selected it anyway, ” It’s a little early for me and whiskey, so I will take some coffee, if you don’t mind.” He answered, hoping that Can would join him, and not continue with the whiskey.

      The two headed out to the garden with their coffee in hand. CeyCey eyed his friend carefully, remembering the night that they had shared a dinner together and Can opened up to him like never before. It was the eve of  the day that Can intentionally boarded a plane and flew out of Istanbul and out of their lives. That day was still a gnawing pain inside CeyCey. 

      CeyCey braced himself for what was to come….the questions. ” So CeyCey, you know what I want to talk about. But what I want to know, is will you be truthful with me.” He spoke in a quiet voice, shifting his eyes over to look at CeyCey….

      He knew he would need to choose his words wisely.. ” Can there was never a time that I wasn’t honest with you. But there were many times that you chose only to listen to what you wanted to hear. So, if you are willing to listen to everything then you will hear the truth.” CeyCey replied, holding his breath as he anticipated Cans response.

      Can hung his head, smiling slightly, ” You are still angry with me for leaving, I know. I’m angry with myself…..but I had never hurt like that before. I didn’t know what else to do.” He spoke, his voice so heavy with emotion that CeyCey could barely hear him. 

      His throat burned and had tightened up so much that he had to clear his throat to continue,       ” All I can say is, I’m sorry. I have regretted every day that I have lived since then, every holiday, every special occasion, everyday that I drew a breathe without her. But…..” He stopped, took a deep breath, not finishing the sentence.

      CeyCey listened as he spoke, puzzled as to why this man that was so intelligent, always so confident and sure of himself, had let the emotion of finding his true love be the reason his life was miserable. ” I have one question Can, why didn’t you just come back home. Why didn’t you call her, why didn’t you have enough respect for the love you both shared to at least return one of the hundreds and hundreds of messages she sent you.” CeyCey blurted out, his voice sounding irritated and on edge.

      His words were like pouring salt into a freshly opened wound. They made Can cringe, “CeyCey, I don’t have an answer for you. I have asked myself the same questions over and over…..and I don’t know why.”  There was no stopping the tears that had filled his eyes, ” I just need to know something about her CeyCey. I need to know that she’s ok.”  he spoke, as the tears trickled slowly down his cheeks.

      Sanem stepped from the shower, feeling revived from the effects of the steamy hot water. She wrapped her hair up tightly in a towel and wiped away the condensation from the mirror. She went about her regular beauty routine; cleanser, than a mild toner to help with the tiny little lines that she had noticed were forming across her forehead; she had nicknamed them her worry lines, and finally her tinted moisturizer. 

      She wasn’t ready to settle in for the night just yet. It was still early and sun was still well above the horizon. She picked up the jar of creme from her vanity, reading the word, Cabin….  She closed her eyes, remembering the times that she had been a his cabin with him. Some were very fond and beautiful memories, but some were not. Especially the last time she had seen there.

      The aroma was just as potent, just as fresh as the day she had mixed it all together to make her creme. She drew in the sweet smell, letting it fill her head. She dipped her fingers into the jar, coating the tip of her finger with the crème. She closed her eyes, instinctively she rubbed her hands together and then applied the crème generously to her neck and down her décolletage area.

      She hadn’t worn this fragrance in quite a while, but it had always been her favorite. After Can left Istanbul and she decided on her life change and moved to Galápagos Island, she left her signature crème behind. It took her a while to find a fragrance that suited her, but she did.

      This crème had always been hers, she had taken so much pride in the fact that she had been given this recipe from her grandmother. This smell had brought her more happiness that she could have imagined, but in the same way, it had brought her the most devastating pain. But she would wear it today, because she wanted to remember.

      She rummaged through her bag for something comfortable to wear. A basic sundress is what she had chose. It was colorful and easy to wear, but it was a bit low cut, so she took one of the scarfs she had packed and tied it loosely around her neck, just to cover what the dress didn’t.

      She looked at the time;  it was still early, too early to go to bed. And besides she was feeling some very strong hunger pains. The only thing she could think of was the fish place on the pier that Can had taken her to on many occasions. The thought of their famous fish sandwiches made her mouth water.

      She grabbed her bag and headed out to Leila’s car. Just to the pier and back, she told herself, as she sat down behind the wheel. But in the back of her mind she knew that would not be the case.

      It wasn’t long before she found herself driving down a very familiar road. One that she had traveled many times. One that she wished she hadn’t traveled at times, but one that had never left her mind….

       She turned off of the main road and drove up the long, tree lined driveway to the tiny cabin. It sat back in the trees, almost out of view, but it looked the same. She was worried that maybe someone else owned it now, but as she pulled the car up closer she could see all the same outdoor furniture. 

      The sight of this place made her stomach flutter. Should I  get out, she was thinking. ” Why not, Can Divit is long gone from this place, he probably hasn’t even been back here.” She spoke with confidence as she unbuckled the seatbelt and climbed out.

      She was feeling every emotion imaginable as she walked slowly up the steps. A chill or a shiver of excitement ran very noticeably down her body as she looked around…..

      ” This is just as I remember it…..it hasn’t changed a bit.” She uttered quietly under her breathe as she gazed around in pure amazement.

      ”  Nothing has changed at all….not even my heart”…..

Chapter 15

Returning to Istanbul would open up his heart again to all those feelings, to all the happiness that he had found there with her. He had known that from the minute he knew he would have to come home for his dad. What had surprised him more than anything was just how deeply those feelings still ran in his heart.

      He felt as if this strong current of water was pulling him down, down deeper and deeper in the memory of how much he loved her. It was consuming him, to the point of begging his friend for any news about her. 

      ” I know that you think I don’t deserve to know anything about her.” Can spoke, shifting his body nervously as he waited for the answer. CeyCey took a minute before he answered, ” Can I guess I don’t understand your meaning of love. I had a hard time when you left too. For months I stayed positive, I spent all my time with Sanem, even after she left the agency.” He explained, feeling a strange bravery inside him to reveal his true feelings to his friend.

      There was a long silence. Can had no words to say in his defense, so he waited for CeyCey to continue. ” Sanem wanted to fall apart completely, she couldn’t understand why YOU didn’t understand why she sold her perfume. ” He spoke. Can hung his head in silence, as he listened.

      CeyCey wanted to be angry, he wanted to tell his friend that he had lost that privilege of knowing anything at all about Sanem, but his heart would not let him. After a few minutes CeyCey continued, ” I wanted to believe you were coming back, so I made her believe it too. Which I think hurt her more in the end. Can, it took her a year to get herself together.” CeyCey spoke as he turned to look at Can.

      ” What I’m saying is, Sanem and myself both had to realize that you were not coming back. It wasn’t until then that she began to come back to herself. But you broke her Can, you broke her and deserted her…..all because she loved you enough to give away a part of her family for you.” He blurted out with force.

      CeyCey turned quickly to leave. He knew he was saying more than he should, so the best thing for him to do would be to leave. But Can stopped him. He reached out for his arm, holding onto it tightly, ” I know all of that CeyCey. I carry it with me everyday. But that doesn’t or hasn’t kept me from the way I feel about her.” Can spoke, fighting back the tears.

      ” I have to know about her, do you understand, I have too. Just tell me and I promise I won’t ask you anything again….hell you don’t even have to speak to me again if that’s what you want.” He spewed with desperation.

      CeyCey felt a stab of regret at the thought of that. He was angry with him, but not to the point of never speaking to him again. ” Well for one thing Can, that is not what I want, and if I tell you about her, please don’t hurt her again.” He demanded.

      ” So, what would you like to know Can?” He asked with heavy sigh. Can thought for a second,…” How is she now, is she happy. Is she seeing someone…..or is she married?” Can asked hesitantly. ” What is her life like CeyCey. I feel as if part of my life is gone, you know, since I don’t know anything about her’s.” He stammered around with his words, nervous to know the answers to his questions.

      CeyCey began; ” I guess she is happy, well as happy as anyone could be that is still suffering from a lost love. She lives on San Cristobal Island, you knew she moved to Galápagos Islands, didn’t you?” He spoke, squinting his eyes as he looked at Can.

      Can nodded, ” Yes, I did know that. I tried to keep track of her once her book was published. So she still lives there?” He spoke more eager than ever to learn more.

      ” Yes…..in a coastal town of Puerto Baquerizo Moreno. I haven’t visited her there yet, but she has shown me around on a video calls. She has a few friends there, and her home is fabulous. She writes, oh she is working on her third book now you know, but I think her life is simple and enjoyable.” CeyCey explained, hoping he wasn’t saying too much.

      Can focused on the ground, anxiously waiting for his friend to go on. ” That’s it Can. That’s all I can tell you. Sanem has made a life there, she is a successful writer, she is comfortable…..so what else would you want for her.” He smirked, knowing full well Can was more interested in her personal life than anything.

      Can felt his blood run cold. Was that all he would tell him. There had to be more….” CeyCey, will you not tell me about her…I need to know, is she involved with someone or…..has….has…has she married.” He asked, letting out a heavy sigh.

      There were so many times over the course of his friendship with Can and Sanem that he had wished he knew nothing. He hated to be the one in the middle. ” Why do you want to know Can. Will it make a difference, will it make you feel better if she has married another man.” He asked feeling his anger begin to surface.

      ” No….not at all. I…I…just need to know. Has she forgotten me, has she moved on in every aspect of her life.” He spoke out, as he felt his heart drop. “Is that what happened CeyCey; did she forget me, did she find someone else.” He pleaded with his friend..

      CeyCey stood, ready for this to be over. ” No Can…she hasn’t found anyone else. She has had a few men that have wanted to be the one to replace you in her heart….but, Sanem wouldn’t allow them to do that. She still thinks that one day you will come to Galapagos Island to find her.” He blurted out with sarcasm.

      ” But we both know that will never happen….right. I truly don’t understand her blind faith in love. The part of her that refuses to let you go…..and trust me I have tried to make her see that you will never come for her. But still”…….He stopped abruptly, feeling like he was overstepping his boundaries as a friend.

      He turned quickly, wanting to leave, wanting to disappear instantly before the next on slot of questions. 

      ” Please don’t leave, please. You are the closest thing I have to her. I need you to stay here with me.” He spoke softly, so soft and quietly that CeyCey wasn’t sure of what he was saying.

      He stepped closer to Can, ” What, I didn’t hear what you said.” He spoke, leaning down to listen. Can breathed heavy, ” Please don’t go……I feel her with me when you are here. I…I..need to feel that. I want to feel it.” He mumbled, as he stayed focused in the ground, not willing to make eye contact.

      A wave of sympathy washed over him. How  could two people be so much in love, be so dedicated to each other…..Yet be so willing to live a life alone, CeyCey wondered…Maybe this wasn’t just a coincidence, maybe this was once again their fate, their moment…….

      ” Their Destiny”

Chapter 16

Sanem wandered around the grounds of the cabin. Every inch of this place held a memory in her heart. The small table and chairs that they had sat around numerous times to share a meal looked a bit tattered and worn from the weather, but it still sat in the same spot. 

      The swinging lounger, where she had sat the first time she came to the hut with Can, was faded and dirty and it too displayed the effects of the weather from over the years. The memories were flooding through her mind like a torrential rain. 

      She wondered when Can had been here last. Had he come here in the last six years? From the looks of the outside; it didn’t seem as if he had been here for quite some time. But…..she remembered the last time she was here…..She had came by taxi the next day after he told her she had broken his trust in her. She had called and texted him at least 50 times over that night, without a reply…So, she came to the cabin, hoping he was hiding out here.

      But Can had already booked a flight and left, without another word to her. She remembered the feeling she had over the next months, the hurt and pain of him leaving was unbearable at times, but she wouldn’t give up……not for almost a year.

     The tears had rolled down her cheeks without her knowing it. She wondered how she could possibly have anymore tears to cry over Can Divit. She untied the scarf from around her shoulders and wiped the tears from her face with the corner of it. 

      “What am I doing here…..why do I keep reliving that time in my life.”  She spoke loudly, as she stood in front of the cabin door. She covered her face with her hands, her heart just a broken as the day he left. 

      Out of nowhere, she heard a voice, ” Then why don’t you just leave. Why did you come at all.”      She turned around quickly, expecting someone to be standing there, but she was all alone. The voice spoke again, “ Yes it’s me, your voice of reason….the one you never listen to, your inner voice.” 

Sanem was shocked as she waved her hand around in the air, ” Go…..go, go away. What are you doing here. I don’t want you here.” She yelled out into the empty surroundings. 

      ” I’m here because you are here. And you’re still crying over a man that walked away from you. Didn’t we know that was the way it would turn out…….The voice spoke. 

      She looked around, ” You’re right, why am I here. For once I agree with you.” Sanem replied.       ” Im going, but I don’t want you to come with me.” She spoke, shaking her finger at her inner voice.

      She took one last look around and then hurried down the steps to the car, her heart beating hard. She leaned her forehead against the steering wheel, This was a stupid thing to do….she thought as she tried to compose herself. “And now I’m hearing voices again….yes, this place is not good for me.” she told herself.

      The day was slipping into evening by the time she got to the pier. She clearly was not in the mood to be around people, so she ordered take-out from the cafe and headed home. She parked in front of her door, feeling like every eye in the neighborhood was on her as she gathered her things together. She grabbed her bag and the sack from the cafe, and she looked around the car for her scarf.

      “What had happened to my scarf……she wondered, as she frantically rummaged through the car. She remembered taking it off at the cabin to wiped her face, but……did she leave it there, she thought, as the blood rushed through her body like a volcano ready to erupt. Her  first instinct was to go back there immediately and look for it. She felt herself begin to panic, What if someone finds it there……what if he finds it there.

       ” No, he wouldn’t find it there.” She told herself, breathing in and out with force. ” He hasn’t been back there in year’s, and besides the wind will probably blow it away somewhere anyway.” She spoke with confidence, convinced there was nothing to worry about… 

      The quiet solitude of her childhood home made her a little uneasy. It gave her way to much time to think. That seemed to be all she had done since she arrived in Istanbul. She devoured the sandwich and salad, following it with a cup of tea. She hadn’t had the tea from her mom’s cupboard for several years, and it soothed every inch of her body. 

      She tidied up the kitchen and took her tea with her to her room. “ Maybe a book before I go to sleep.” she thought, as she reached for one of her favorite books. She tried to forget about the return of her inner voice but it just would not let her, as she recalled what it had told her. 

      She chuckled, as she remembered all the times that her voice of reason had spoke to her, and all the times she hadn’t listened. ” It seems like you should have learned by now, I’m not good at listening.” She spoke out loud to the empty room. ” And I probably never will be, just so you know.” She added, as she sat upright in her bed.

      The book was hard to concentrate on, with all the other things going on in her mind. She also wondered why CeyCey hadn’t call her back. She draped the book across her chest, thinking back to earlier and how strange he had acted when he first arrived at the hospital.

      She shrugged her shoulders, ” But you know that your friend is strange. And you haven’t been around him for so long. It’s probably nothing.” she spoke with reason. Maybe I should call him. He doesn’t know that dad is better, that will make him happy..

      Sanem grabbed her phone and scrolled through to CeyCey’s name and tapped on his number. ” I hope it’s not too late to call.” she thought as she heard the first ring..

      CeyCey had stayed there with Can just as he had asked. Although they hadn’t spoke to each other for almost a half hour, CeyCey sat with him on the patio looking it across the garden. He was glad that Can seemed to be out of questions for the time being. 

      Can shifted his eyes over, looking at CeyCey, ” Thank you for staying here with me. I hope I didn’t keep you from your plans.” Can spoke calmly, giving him a slight smile. CeyCey nodded, .   ” No, you didn’t, but I probably should be going soon. But I am glad Mr. Aziz is doing better.” 

       As glad as CeyCey was to see Can, he wished he hadn’t come home. It was so hard to see him like this, so vulnerable and human. Can had always been something of a super hero to him over the many years that he had worked at the agency. 

     CeyCey stood to leave, “I have to go, but I will come to see you again before you leave. Do you know when you’re leaving? He asked, trying not to sound as if he was rushing him away.

      ” No I don’t. It depends on dad. But I won’t stay any longer than I have too.” he spoke. ” I will try and visit the agency tomorrow, just to say hello to everyone.” 

      Just as he reached for Can to give him a hug, his phone rang. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone…..the name… Sanem… lit-up brightly on his phone…

      Can stared at it…..then he looked at CeyCey. ” Sanem is calling you. Aren’t you going to answer it.” Can murmured, his voice shaking. ” Answer it CeyCey…..please…

Chapter 17

eyCey quickly hit the decline button, ” I have to go Can. I will talk to you later.” CeyCey hurried through the house and to the front door. ” Wait CeyCey, wait. Don’t go yet.” Can called out after him. 

      In seconds CeyCey was out the door and down to the corner, his heart beating fast. He waved down the first taxi he saw and got inside. He didn’t like being in the middle of this messy love affair. He had never liked it, even back when it first started. And now, here he was stuck right in the middle of it again…..

      Sanem looked at her phone, He declined my call…..she huffed, as she stared at her phone. CeyCey had never declined her call before, not even when he was at work. She would wait a minute then call again she thought, feeling annoyed at his actions. 

      Can stood there looking at the closed door, feeling completely helpless and hopeless. He had been that close to hearing her voice, he thought, as he slowly walked back to the garden and slumped down in the lounger. 

      He leaned back, his eyes closed, as he imagined hearing her voice again. It had been years since he had heard her speak or laugh, but that sound was embedded deep within him. He listened intently as she recalled the first conversation they had had..

      He couldn’t keep from smiling as he traveled back in time to the first day at the agency. He hadn’t at all wanted to stay there in Istanbul, but his dad needed him. And for some reason that chance encounter with a mystery woman the night before at the anniversary party had wrapped itself around his mind and his heart, and he wanted more than anything to find out who this woman was.

       Yes, that was the beginning. And it didn’t take long for his heart to surrender to this wonderfully innocent woman child, that just so happened to be that woman in the dark….

He lingered there a while, going back in time, when suddenly he remembered the sound of that woman’s laughter from the hospital earlier in the day. His eyes popped open and he sat upright in the chair, his mind whirling about in a frenzy. That woman’s laughter was so much like Sanem’s, if he didn’t know better, he would swear it was her. 

      A very strange, almost eerie feeling waved over him. It couldn’t have been her, he thought….no it couldn’t be, CeyCey would have told him if she was here in town. But that sound of laughter from a person unseen echoed louder than ever in his head.

      Before he knew it, he was in his truck and headed out, somewhere, anywhere, where he could feel her presence. His truck seemed to be on auto pilot as he turned down that oh-so – familiar road up the mountain to his cabin.

      He wasn’t sure why he was going there, other than that was the only place that had been “their” place. The moon was the only light that illuminated the surroundings as he pulled up near the steps leading to the cabin. He hadn’t been there in years, not since that night….

      The pain was gnawing at him as he sat there in his truck, hesitating to open the door and step out. But he had to, he had to face it, look at it again, live it again. There was so much more than just pain at ” their” place. This cabin had been his sanctuary, the place where he could be himself. So, bringing her here to a place that meant so much to him was just natural for him. She had made it special..

      He walked slowly up the steps, remembering all the times before that he had been there. The feeling was overwhelming, as he stood there looking at the remnants of everything he held dear to him. It was all still there, the small table, the chairs, the fire pit where he had cooked for them…it was all there. 

      He pulled the key from his pocket as he stepped up to the front door. Funny, he thought, how I still carry the key to this place with me at all times. It was as if it were a lifesaver, or a heart saver, for him. 

      The door swung open and he reached inside to switch on the light. All the things were there, but with a thick coat of dust covering them. There was a cup sitting on the wood stove. He picked it up and looked inside. The leftover tea had dried up, leaving only a hard crusty chunk in the bottom of the cup. It had been here since that night, that night he had made that final decision to leave Istanbul.

     He took a few minutes to examine everything. All of the things in his makeshift darkroom were still there. His record player and his collection of albums still sat in the same place but were covered in a thin layer of dust. He instinctively brushed the lingering deposit of dust from the top of the record player, remembering how much he had loved playing these albums.

      The sun had disappeared and the darkness had brought on a slight chill to the air. He had already thought of spending the night there, so a fire in the firepit would be perfect. The leftover firewood was stacked up next to the tree, and it was seasoned just right for a quick fire.

      He mechanically placed the wood in the pit as he had done hundreds of times before, with his mind still entertaining all the times he had shared his place with her. All the times they had enjoyed being here together. She loved this place as much as he did.

      With the wood ready to light, he turned to go inside for the matches when a brightly colored piece of something caught his eye. It was wrapped loosely around the leg of the chair. He wasn’t sure if it was fabric or paper, as he bent down to free it from the chair leg. 

      “Ahh, it’s a piece of cloth.” he decided, as he held it in his hands. He opened it up, revealing a large square-shaped scarf. It was covered with large coral and yellow hibiscus flowers, and the edge was trimmed with short, pink-colored fringe. It was beautiful, but he wondered how it got there.

     He carried it  inside with him, still wondering where it had come from. Purely on instinct, he raised the scarf to his nose and sniffed. The smell that was so undeniable Sanem’s, exploded in his head. So much so that it startled him. His eyes were wild with astonishment as he tossed the scarf on the sofa and walked back outside, shaking his head. ” No….No, it’s just my imagination.”  he spoke quietly out loud. 

      Can paced back and forth in front of the cabin, almost afraid to go back inside. After a few moments of reasoning, he had convinced himself that it was active imagination at work. He slowly entered the cabin again, almost as if he was expecting her to be sitting there instead of the scarf.

      He stood there looking at the scarf, remembering the same scenario with her bandana, and how important it had become in his life. He wanted to pick the scarf up again, but he was hesitant, he wanted to hold it in his hands again, and yes….he wanted so badly to sniff the most alluring and tantalizing scent that he had ever smelled.      

     His body tingled with a strange excitement as he reached for it. As his fingers touched the fabric, it brought out should an explosion of emotion that he felt weak…..

      Once again he slowly raised the scarf to his nose and sniffed……His eyes filled with tears…

It wasn’t his imagination……it was her smell….. was it her scarf, but how did it get here……

     He very slight smiled crossed his face…..” This place does have such strange powers.” he thought, as he held the scarf tight in his hands……

Chapter 18

CeyCey waited until he was blocks away from Can’s house before he thought about returning Sanems call. His stomach was tied in knots as he conjured up a perfect lie to tell her, explaining why he had declined her call. 

      His phone rang again before he had time to think. The caller ID read Sanem. He rubbed his forehead nervously, as he tapped the accepts button, ” Sanem, hello. Sorry about declining your call, but I was in the middle of a heated conversation with Deren about why I needed to leave work early.”  He blurted out with the first thing that came to mind.

     Sanem scoffed, ” So Deren is still on her control frenzy. Can’t tell you how glad I am that I don’t have to put up with her anymore.” She answered in a huff. ” CeyCey, I need to talk to you. Can you come over? I know it’s a bit late but I will make us some coffee and we can set in the garden and have a good talk…..please.” 

      He had missed their talks so much over the years, so he accepted. ” Ok, I’m in a taxi now, so I will be there soon.” He replied, already dreading the conversation he knew she wanted to have. He knew she would ask more questions about Can, and he would have to tell his friend yet more lies, but telling her the truth, that Can was in Istanbul was something he wasn’t ready to do..

      The thought of watching Sanem go through another heartbreak because of Can would be too much to handle. Can was as close to him as family, but he couldn’t watch that happen again..

      Sanem jumped up and hurried downstairs. She rummaged through the kitchen, looking for a late night snack for her and her friend to nibble on while they got caught up on their lives. She found some fruit and some leftover cookies that her mother had made. She sat the table and waited for CeyCey to ring the bell.

      A text came in from Leila telling her that their dad was doing very well and they had high hopes that he would be out of danger very soon. Sanem smiled as she returned the message, “I’m so glad Abla. I will be there early in the morning. I’m waiting for CeyCey, we are going to visit.” Send…….

      This day was turning out to be the best day she had had in a while. Being back here in Istanbul had its ups and downs, but she was glad she had come back, if it was even for a short time. 

      The bell rang and Sanem hurried to answer the door. ” CeyCey come in.” She spoke, pulling him inside the door and giving him a hug. ” Come on, let’s sit in the garden.” She motioned for him to follow her. 

      They settled down at the table, with Sanem anxious to continue their conversation from earlier in the day. ” So I know you don’t want to talk about him……you know…Can.” She mumbled softly. ” But I can’t leave here again without knowing the answers to my questions. I will be leaving soon, heading back to San Cristobal and I need to know some things.” Sanem fidgeted in her chair, looking with pleading eyes at her friend.

      CeyCey sighed, ” What Sanem. You already asked me about Can, and I told you what I know.” He answered, feeling the heat fill his face. She nodded, ” Yes you did. But earlier this evening I went to the cabin. You know the cabin that Can has in the mountains. And it felt so weird to be there. I felt like Can was so close.” She spoke, her eyes getting that far away look.

      ” You what? You went to his cabin. Oh my god Sanem, you have to get over this.” CeyCey said shaking his head. She eyed him, squinting as she looked at him, ” Why CeyCey, why do I need to get over it. Can is a part of me, a part of my life. He is someone that will always be inside me.” She snipped back at him, completely annoyed wit her friend.

      ” Look Sanem, it’s not healthy for you to still be so involved with these thoughts. Can left, he’s gone, you have to accept that.” He spoke, reaching out for her hand.

      He hated to lie to her more than anything in the world. But telling her the truth wasn’t an option either. He couldn’t or wouldn’t go through the same scenario that they had gone through when Can left. The pain and hurt that he had to help her through was horrendous.

     Sanem held up her hand, ” Ok, I know you don’t get it, but just please answer a couple of questions for me and I promise I won’t ask anything more of you.” She pleaded.

      She took a deep breath, ” Is there someone in Cans life. Is he involved with a woman”… she hesitated for a second before continuing…..” Has he forgotten about me?” She asked as she closed her eyes, bracing herself for the worst possible answer.

      CeyCey’s heart dropped as he watched her struggle with the mere thought of her question.        ” Sanem my dear friend, why do you do this.” He breathed heavily, dreading to give the answer.   ” No, as far as I know there is no one in Cans life. I don’t know if there has been, but if there were, it wasn’t a serious relationship.” He replied, telling her the truth as he knew it. 

      A slight childlike smile spread innocently across her face. She avoided looking into his eyes, “Are you quite sure about that CeyCey. I don’t want you to just tell me what you think I want to hear. I want the truth.” She spoke in a demanding voice.

      CeyCey nodded his head, ” Yes Sanem I’m sure about it. Now are you going to calm down about him and let’s have a visit.” He asked, wanting nothing more than for this inquisition to be over.

      Samen looked at him sheepishly, ” Well….one more question, and then I promise I’m done.” She looked around the garden as if she thought someone may be listening to their conversation, ” When was Can here in Istanbul last. How long has it been since you have seen him, did he look the same, did he seem happy.” she asked, leaning over close to him and turning to her serious side as she asked the question.

      CeyCey threw his head back, ” Oh my goodness Sanem, that’s not one question that’s four. Ok….Can was home a little over two years ago….hmm, for a few days, three I think. I guess he’s happy….you never know with Can. He keeps his feelings all bottled up anyway.”  He cleared his throat before continuing, ” I didn’t get to talk to him much, only a short visit when he came by the agency. And before you ask, No…he didn’t ask me about you.” He added as he watched her expression change.

      She looked away quickly trying to hide those tears that had formed in her eyes. She drew in a deep breath and exhaled. Ok, ok….. so he didn’t even ask about me, she thought, forcing a smile. ” I wouldn’t think he would CeyCey. Can Divit holds a grudge like no one else I know.” She uttered, as that strange feeling of losing him all over again slashed away at her heart.

        He knew that look on her face. He had told her something that she hadn’t expected. He stood,   ” Sanem I should go. Look….I know that hurt you, but just because he didn’t ask me about you doesn’t mean he wasn’t thinking about you.” He spoke softly as he reached for her hand.

      ” Maybe it was too painful for him to ask, maybe he was hurting by just being here. You know Can, he covers up his feelings.” 

       Sanem smiled and nodded, ” Yes I do know Can…..CeyCey let’s get together again before I leave, and I promise I will not ask anything else about Can..” She told him as she showed him to the door…

      The door was barely shut before her pent up tears rolled uncontrollably down her cheeks….

” That man can make me feel more like a fool than anyone else in the world.” She mumbled through her tears…….” Didn’t I tell you that.” Her inner voice said loudly in her head..

       She looked around, ” Ok, I got it…..you can leave me alone now.” She said out loud, stomping up the stairs to her room.

      ” Ok if that’s the way you want it Can Divit….then that’s the way it will be”….She thought as she wiped the tear from her face..

Chapter 19

Can was still sitting there holding the brightly colored scarf in his hand, staring blankly into space. “What did this mean.” he wondered. ” Was it a sign of some sort. Was the universe trying to tell him something.” 

His phone vibrated in his pocket, startling him. He reached in a pulled out his phone, clearly not in he mood to talk to anyone, but Emre’s name popped up on his phone. He answered quickly, ” Hello, hello Emre, is there something wrong with dad?” he asked, feeling a panic set in.

      ” Hi Can. No there’s nothing wrong, I just talked to the hospital and they said dad is resting comfortably, so I came home to get some rest. Just wondered where you were, that’s all.” Emre replied. He waited a moment for a reply from Can, but he didn’t hear anything, ” Can where are you? He asked again.

      Can’s head was still in this daydream of the scarf he held in his hand and that smell that was only hers, ” Uhh, sorry Emre, what did you say? He asked, trying to clear his head. ” Where are you?” He repeated a little louder and a bit more pronounced. 

      Can stuffed the scarf in his pocket as if he was trying to hide it, before he answered, ” Ahh, I’m at the cabin. I thought I would check on it, and make sure everything was ok here. So, are you at home now?” He mumbled about nervously.

      Emre was shocked, ” The cabin? I thought you were going to sell that place. You told me that when you were here a couple of years ago.” his brother questioned him. Emre knew he wasn’t about to sell that cabin, it had always meant too much to him. ” Did you change your mind about it?” Emre asked.

      Can looked around the small one-room hut, ” Yes, I guess I did.” he spoke, sounding nostalgic.  ” So you are home then. I’ll be there soon. I just need to lockup.” He told him. Can took a few more minutes to look around and feel the serenity of this place before turning off the lights and shutting the door. He would definitely come back there before he left Istanbul….

      The drive home was much more relaxing than the drive there. He had a slight smile of contentment on his face as he felt the scarf that was tucked away snuggly in his pocket. He wasn’t sure how that scarf had just showed up at his cabin, but the fact that it was there and was carrying the same fragrance as Sanem……well it just couldn’t be overlooked. 

      As he arrived home, he found Emre in the backyard with a drink in his hand. ” Abi, you made it. Can I offer you a whiskey.” He asked as he held up his glass in the air. Can quickly reached for the glass, ” Thanks, I’ll just have yours.” He said with a smile. Emre threw his head back and laughed, ” My god it’s good to have you here. I have missed your abuse.” He spoke, raising his hand in the air for a high five. 

      Can sat down, but Emre could tell he was preoccupied with something else, ” Hey, are you ok. You seem worried about something. If it’s dad, I don’t think you have to worry to much. The doc said he is coming around very well.” Emre assured him.

      ” That’s good. But no, I’m not worried about dad. He’s a tough one. I just get to thinking about my life when I get in this city.” Can muttered, in a very melancholy voice. ” The worst and best times of my life have been here in Istanbul. I can’t get my mind off of some of them, you know.” He downed the rest of the whiskey that was left in the glass, but the burn from the alcohol wasn’t as bad as the pain in his heart.

      ” The strangest thing happened at the cabin.” He started, hesitant to even tell his brother about the scarf,  but he felt as if he might explode if he didn’t tell someone. ” I don’t even know why I went there, I was just there before I even realized it. But it was the most calming feeling when I stood in front of the door, I really can’t explain it.” His emotions were running through him like a tidal wave.

      Emre sat up on the edge of his chair, ” What Abi, what happened. Had someone been there at the cabin. Did they break in and wreck the place or something.” He questioned, alarmed at the way Can was talking.

      Can shook his head slowly, ” No, it was just a feeling of comfort mixed with a feeling of disappointment. I can’t describe the feeling, but…..that’s not the only thing Emre.” He spoke, as he took a deep breath. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the scarf, ” This, I found this.” He uttered, his voice almost undetectable. He cleared his throat before he continued, ” It was wrapped around the leg of the chair, outside, by the fire pit.” He explained. He looked at Emre, his eyes had already filled with tears as he handed the scarf to his brother.

      ” What is this Can. It’s just a scarf. What, why….why do you have it. Whose scarf is it.” He asked, puzzled at Cans actions. Can shrugged his shoulders, ” I’m not sure whose scarf it is, but it has the smell of Sanem’s perfume saturated in it.” His voice trembling as he spoke..

      Emre lifted the scarf to his nose and took a sniff, then he shoved the scarf back at Can, ” Abi you have lost your mind. How do you know that’s her perfume” he blurted out, annoyed at his brothers dependence on her smell.

      ” I don’t smell anything, it’s just your imagination.” He said, standing quickly. ” You need another drink to get your head on straight.” 

      Can held the scarf in his hand, ” Emre I know her smell. I know that smell better than any other smell. And this scarf is filled with that perfume.” He answered, fondling the scarf in his hands as if it was part of her. ” I knew you wouldn’t understand or believe me.” he spoke as he stuffed the scarf back in his pocket.

      Emre closed his eyes and took a deep breath, ” Can, you haven’t seen her in almost 7 years, let alone smelled her perfume, so you can’t be sure that this is her smell. You are making yourself believe it…that’s all.” 

      Can stood, “You’re wrong, I do know that smell. I have never forgotten that smell.” He spoke quietly. ” I’m going to bed.” He said heading to the door. He turned, peering at Emre, his eyes full of pain, ” And don’t you ever try to make me think I’m hallucinating about Sanem or her smell. She is and always will be a part of me. This scarf in my pocket is her’s, it was at the cabin for a reason, and I intend to find out that reason.” he spoke calmly and matter-of-fact.

      He walked down the hallway to his room. The reaction from Emre was not far from what he thought it would be, but he knew better. Once inside his room he pulled out the scarf again, anxious to feel the fabric in his hands. Yes, he would find out why this scarf had been at the cabin, and who left it there, if it was the last thing he ever did.

      His body ached from fatigue and all of his emotions. A hot shower was definitely what he needed, he thought, as he stripped off his clothes and headed to the shower.

      The hot water and steam felt good as they covered his tensed body. He braced himself against the shower wall…..reminiscing about the first time he had taken Sanem to the cabin……

      She was so fresh and new to him……he couldn’t get enough. Why did things happen like they did?…..

      Why did he expect so much from people?…..And not so much from himself?..

Why did he still love her as much at that moment as he ever had before….

Chapter 20

  The next morning brought even better news from Leila, ” Sanem, dad is doing so much better this morning. He’s eating well and he is more alert and talking.” she told her. Sanem was overjoyed, . ” I’m so glad. I will be there very soon so you and mom can come home to rest.” 

      Within a hour Sanem was pulling up in front of the hospital. The improvement of her dad’s health had been a godsend, and now she could think about planning her trip back home. 

      Her return to Istanbul had been a lot more heartbreaking than she had expected. Can Divit would always be a part of her, no matter where she was, but being here was simply too much for her to handle. All the memories of him and their love would never go away if she lingered her any longer than absolutely necessary.

      It took both her and Leila to convince their mom to go home for a rest. ” Mom he will be fine. I won’t leave his bedside, I promise.” Salem whispered to her mom as she ushered her out the door with Leila. 

      ” Ok I will go, but if there is any change whatsoever you are to call me immediately…..do you understand? ” Mevkebe spoke, pointing her finger in Sanem’s face. Sanem nodded, ” Yes, yes mom, I will call at once. Don’t worry.” 

      Sanem watched as her mom and her sister got on the elevator. She knew they wouldn’t be able to keep her mom away for long but she did need some rest. 

      With the thoughts already in her mind of a trip back to San Cristobal and her home, she wanted to spend as much time with her dad as possible. She sat quietly watching him as he slept, the nurses said that was the best thing for him right now, but she wished she could tell him all of her insecurities and heartbreak of being back here in Istanbul.

      Coming home had not been an easy task. Not just because of her dad, but because of her feelings for Can Divit. If nothing else, she had realized her heart was still full of love for him, even after all this time… So leaving here as quickly as possible was probably best for her.

      Aziz had had a good night according to the nurse, when Can made that call to the hospital first thing in the morning. He was relieved, that meant he would be able to resume his travels and get away from Istanbul and all his memories. 

      Finding that scarf had thrown him for a loop, even going to the cabin had affected him more than he thought. So, to get back to his life and his work was something he would need to do very soon.

       Yes, leave this place and all of her memories….he thought….No, he could never leave the memory of her. He could leave Istanbul and Turkey, even go to the other side of the world, but her memory would always be inside him. 

      Emre needed to make a stop at the agency before going to the hospital, so Can headed back to the hospital alone. His head was full of thoughts as he parked and walked toward the entrance of the hospital. 

      He had stopped on the curb to let a car pass, as he looked around he saw a very familiar figure getting into a car. He felt the blood drain from his body, ” Was that Mevkibe Aydin….it looks just like her.”  he thought as he stood there, frozen in place. 

      A thousand thoughts raced through his mind as he felt his heart beating hard in his chest. He watched the car drive away, stunned and shocked. It took a minute for him to regain his thoughts and continue on to the door.

      First he thought he had seen Melihat outside the door of the hospital the day before, now this. “Was someone in the Aydin family ill, or was someone from the neighborhood in the hospital?” he wondered as he walked blindly to the elevator. 

      By the time he reached his dads room he had managed to regain a small amount of his composure. He stopped at his dad’s door, took a deep breath before entering. ” Good morning dad.” he spoke, his voice still shaky. 

      His dad was sitting up in the bed, looking and feeling more like himself than he had since he had arrived there. ” Dad…..you look great. Are you feeling better?” Can asked. Aziz nodded, ” Yes I am. I feel as if I have a new lease on life.” He answered his son with a smiling face. But he could tell that something had upset him, ” Can what is it…..you look as if you’ve seen a ghost.”

      Can was saved from having to answer his dads question as the morning nurse entered the room. ” Good you have company this morning.” The nurse spoke as she nodded at Can. She went about her morning tasks of checking Aziz vital signs. Can was still in a bit of a shock at the thought of seeing Mevkibe Aydin, so when the nurse began to give him her report on Aziz’s condition,  he didn’t hear a word she said.

      ” Sir, sir…..did you hear.” The nurse spoke. Can was deep in his thoughts, looking out the window, ” Can, the nurse is talking to you.” Aziz called out to Can. He turned quickly, ” I’m sorry, what did you say.” He replied.

      The nurse smiled, ” Your father is doing much better. If he stays this well, he may be going home soon.” She answered, patting Aziz’s hand. 

      Can smiled and gave a quick nod, embarrassed that he hadn’t  been paying attention to his dad at all. ” That’s great news, isn’t it dad.” He replied, feeling relieved. As soon as the nurse went out, Aziz turned to Can, ” So what happened Can. You aren’t yourself this morning. Did you and Emre have a fight.” 

      Can sat down on the edge of the bed, ” No dad we didn’t fight. But since you are doing so well….I am just thinking about making my plans to return to Thailand very soon.” He uttered, feeling that never ending need to run…

      Sanem had been gazing out the window as her dad slept, wishing she was back home on the island. She felt as if she were suffocating here in this large city, this place so close to Can. 

      ” My daughter, what are your thoughts this morning.” Nihat said, startling her. She turned quickly, ” Dad, you’re awake. Are you feeling better. Leila took mom home for a while to rest. You know she won’t stay away long……” She babbled on, hardly taking a breath. 

      Nihat held up his hand, ” Sanem, there’s something bothering you, what is it?” He questioned, searching his daughters face. 

      Sanem turned away from him so he wouldn’t see the tears that were rimming her eyes. ” Dad, it’s just this place. It hurts me to be here. So, as soon as you are well enough to go home, I am returning to my home in Puerto Baquerizo Moreno.”  She could hardly speak the words as she felt her throat tighten.

      Nihat had never been able to watch his daughters in pain, and he could see that Sanem was hurting immensely. ” Is this about Can Divit. My dear, I was hoping that over the years you would have accepted what happened and how foolish you had been to get involved with him.” Her father muttered. 

      His words cut deep into her heart, she knew she had gone against her dads wishes when her and Can fell in love…..but sometimes the heart doesn’t listen to reason. 

      She swallowed down the words that she wanted to say to her dad. Those words would do nothing but hurt him, so she just nodded and replied…” Of course you are right dad, but sometimes it’s not easy to accept how foolish your heart can be……

Chapter 21

” So, you are ready to go back to your life. Is that right Can?” Aziz asked. He could see how uneasy and how much he was hurting. ” I have heard the conversation you had with Emre when you thought I was sleeping. How this place brings back to many memories of Sanem, how it hurts you to be here…..am I correct?” He spoke softly. 

      Can shook his head, ” Dad I thought I could handle it, but at every turn I feel her. I know I’ve been back here before, even a couple of years ago, but this time is different. It feels as if she is here.” He spoke as he paced back and forth beside his dads bed. “My mind has been flooded with the thought of her the minute I boarded the plane to come here. So I need to leave as soon as you’re out of danger.” 

      ” You don’t have to wait on me son, I am recovering. If you need to go….then go. But leaving Istanbul will not be your answer. I’m afraid you will be filled with those memories for the rest of your life.” The elder Divit told him.

      Can looked at his dad as he tried to hide the pain that he was feeling. ” Dad, I don’t want to hurt you by leaving, but…”  Can stopped and looked away. ” But I also don’t want to hurt myself by staying.” 

      ” If you haven’t forgot the feelings you had for her, or found anyone else that could replace those feelings in the almost 7 years you have been gone……then I don’t think you will. The woman will always be with you.”  He spoke.

      He looked sincerely at is dad, ” That’s just the thing dad, I don’t thing I want to forget. But I’m not sure if I have forgiven her for what she did.” He mumbled, more confused than ever..

      Aziz felt the battle that his son was fighting inside himself, ” That’s something you will need to find out. But running away from the memory of her and how much you still love her is not the answer. At some point you will need to face her, and when you do, you will know if you have forgiven her.” He spoke, his words coming from the heart.

      ” Now go if you have to, don’t worry about me, I’m not going anywhere. This was not my time to leave.” he said, giving him a smile. 

       Can was never indecisive with his plan in life. He had always known what he wanted to do and he did it, but this time he was hesitant. Maybe he was hoping that she would be there, maybe he wanted to see her, maybe he needed to see her. But was he ready for that.

      ” Ok dad, I’ll make my plans to return to my job in Thailand, but only if I’m sure you’re going to make a full recovery.” He told him, just as Emre walked in.

     ” What’s that, you’re leaving. You just got here and was hoping you would help me at the agency for a while. I don’t want you to go just yet.” His brother said, patting him on the back.

      After a long discussion, Can convinced Emre that it would be better if he returned to his job in Thailand. ” Emre you have been doing a great job at the agency, I don’t see any reason for me to stay. Besides dad will be up and around soon and he can give you a hand.” 

      So the decision was made, Can would leave. He hadn’t really thought it all through yet, but he knew he had to put some distance between him and all the memories that this place held for him. 

      After the doctor made his visit later that morning and delivered the news that Aziz was making an amazing recovery, Can decided to start making his plans. First he wanted to visit the agency and have one final talk with CeyCey. He wasn’t sure when he would be coming back to Istanbul so he wanted to spend some time with him.

      Then he wanted to make another trip to the cabin, yes….he was punishing himself he knew, but there was just something about that place that made him feel different. He had considered selling it some years back, but he immediately had a feeling of panic at the thought of it, so he quickly dismissed the idea.    

      The words from his dad was still talking to him as he headed to the agency to visit CeyCey. Maybe his dad was right, maybe seeing her face to face would be the only way for him to know. If he could see her, maybe even touch her, he would know if he had forgiven her. 

      “No…..I don’t think I could. I don’t know if I could see her.”  he thought, squeezing his eyes close tightly to hold in the tears that burned his eyes. But that thought remained in his mind, refusing to leave. 

      Nihat didn’t want to see Sanem leave again, but he also didn’t like to see her in so much pain. If Istanbul was the place that caused her hurt and pain, then maybe she should go. ” If you need to return to your home Sanem, then go. I’m getting stronger and I know I will recover. So go if you need to.” Her dad told her as he patted her hand.

      ” Maybe I will go soon. But only if the doctor says you’re on the road to recovery.” She smiled, but her heart was not so sure about the decision. 

      This trip home had been different. She felt as if she had walked back into her life as it was before. The feeling of love and suffering was just as strong as it was the first time she left Turkey. She wasn’t over him, that was for sure, but staying here wouldn’t make it better.

      The doctor’s visit later that day brought good news. ” It seems that your father is getting stronger and the medication is working nicely. If he continues like this for the next couple of days then I see no reason why he can’t continue  his recovery at home.” He reported, happy to give them the good news.

      This seemed the best time to tell her sister and her mom that she would be making her plans to return to San Cristobal Island, ” So I’m thinking I will make my reservations to fly home. Dad is doing better now and I don’t want to leave my house unattended for too long.” She explained.

      Leila wasn’t t happy about her decision, but she was breathing a sigh of relief. It was better for her sister to get out of Istanbul before she happened to run into Can. That thought had made her nervous from the minute she knew that Can Divit was in town…..and even in the same hospital as they were. 

      ” So abla, when do you plan on leaving. Not that I’m anxious for you to go, but it is a long trip.” She asked, hoping she planned to leave soon. ” I’m not sure. I’ll check the flights today and see what I can find. And I want to see CeyCey again before I leave.” 

      And there was one more place she wanted to see again before she left Istanbul this time…..

      The Cabin……she wanted to see it one more time. Maybe she would find her scarf there too, she thought. But she would have to go there….just one last time….  

Chapter 22

It was after lunch time when Can decided to visit CeyCey at the agency. It was difficult for him to go there and see all the people that he had once knew. The last time he had visited Istanbul he made a trip to the agency to see CeyCey and it felt like his heart was ripping apart. 

      He had been in so much pain that day he couldn’t even ask his friend about Sanem. But today he would make a brief visit, just to tell him goodbye.

      Many of the same people still worked there and welcomed him with a lot of hugs, one of those being Gulize. ” Mr.Can I’m very glad to see you, and I’m happy that Mr. Aziz is doing better.” She spoke, but Can could tell she was anxious to ask him all about his life, so he thanked her quickly and made his way to Deren’s office.

      ” Can, I’m glad to see you.” She said giving him a customary kiss on each cheek. ” Thank you Deren. How’s business going for the agency?” He asked as he shifted his eyes around the familiar surroundings, his heart fluttering with anticipation as he searched for the only person that would know annything about Sanem…..her sister.

      ” It has been very good. Are you going to stay for a while, you know we could always use your help.” She said, wishing things could be as they once were. Can smiled, ” No, I’m not staying. I just came by to say goodbye to CeyCey and have a look around.

      He was nervous, she could tell, ” So, I see Leila’s office is vacant. Is she at a meeting?” He asked. Deren shook her head, ” No…Leila has taken an extended vacation. They have a family emergency. It seems that her father is ill and she is taking care of him.” 

      Can turned quickly, ” Mr. Nihat is ill.  Do you know what’s wrong.” He asked as he felt his head spin. ” No not really, I try not to get to involved in everyone’s business you know. But it has happened at the worst time, with Emre being out with Mr. Aziz as well.”

      The news of Mr. Nihats illness from Deren had taken him by surprise. He said his goodbyes to Deren and headed back to CeyCey’s desk. ” Hey, let’s grab a tea and have a seat in dads old office. Do you have time?” Can asked, still trying to sort out the new information he had just heard.

      CeyCey nodded, ” Sure, I’ll get the tea and be right there.” He could tell that Can was struggling with something and he hoped it was going to bring on more questions. He poured Can a tea and him a cup of strong coffee, for some reason he felt like he was going to need it.

      He entered the office and sat the tea on the desk, but Can hadn’t even noticed he had came in. ” Can… your tea, are you ok ?” He said as he pulled out a chair to sit. 

      Can turned his way, ” Did you know that Mr. Nihat was sick? I just found out from Deren that Leila is taking time off to tend to her sick father.” He asked, his eyes boring straight into CeyCey’s. 

      He hesitated, his mind frantic, ” Well, I did know he was having some trouble, but I don’t think it’s anything serious. Leila had just decided to take some time off to give her mom some help.” He recited as if he had memorized his lines.

      ” And Sanem…..did she know. She didn’t come home to help.” He replied in a hushed whisper. ” Why didn’t you tell me CeyCey.” He asked, leaning across the desk. 

      CeyCey mustered all the courage he could before answering, ” Because Can, it really isn’t any of your business. What difference would it make if you knew about Mr. Nihat.” He held his breath, as he steadied himself for what was to come next. 

      CeyCey watched his friend struggle for a minute with his response. ” I guess you’re right. It’s not like I could walk up to their door and knock on it….and expect them to open it for me.” He mumbled, his voice dripping with sadness and disappointment. 

      Can took a deep breath, ” Well I am sorry to hear that he is not well. Please tell Leila that for me when you see her. And it’s a good thing I’ve made my decision to leave Istanbul.” He spoke quietly, looking away from CeyCey, so his friend wouldn’t see the hurt in his face.

      ” So you’re leaving. That means Mr. Aziz is doing better.” CeyCey said with unexpected relief.         ” When are you going…..I mean, do we have time for a goodbye dinner.” He spoke quickly, not wanting Can to get the wrong idea. ” I hate to see you go so soon, but if you have too, and your dad is better”…..CeyCey rambled on, feeling as if he was on a hot seat.

      Can stood quickly, ” No….I came to say goodbye to you. I will leave very soon, maybe as early as tomorrow.” He knew now he needed to get as far away from Istanbul as he could. His heart beat so hard he was sure that his friend could see it through his clothes. ” I’m sorry Cey, I shouldn’t have put in the middle of my problems. It will be best if I leave Immediately.” 

      He was out the doors so quickly that CeyCey didn’t even have time for a goodbye hug. Can whisked by him and down the hall toward the front door almost in a run. CeyCey knew he was hurting something terrible……and leaving was going to be his only solution..

      Can slammed the door of his truck, feeling the rage of putting himself through all this unnecessary hurt. He sat there for a moment processing what he had learned. So Sanem must be very content in her new life,  he thought. Not even wanting to come home for her dad. She must have everything she wants there. 

      He started up his truck and sped out of the parking garage, wanting to get as far away as possible to the place where he had found her. The place where he had given his heart to a girl that he didn’t know anymore. Why did I even come back here anyway….he heard inside his head, as he wiped the tears from his face.

      Sanem was just finishing up booking her flight home when her phone rang. ” Hello Javier, how are you. I was just thinking about you.”  She spoke, planning to stop in Barcelona for a day or two. 

      ” Oh…I’m flattered. I hope it was a pleasant thought. I wouldn’t want anything less.” He spoke in his sexy Spanish voice. Sanem smiled, his candor had always amused her. He had thought himself quite a catch in the terms of a highly desirable man. 

      ” Well yes it was, in fact. I am planning my trip home and thought of stopping in Barcelona for  a couple of days. I would like to go over some plans of the release of my next book.” She added, making sure he knew this was a business layover. ” I have a flight out of Istanbul tomorrow afternoon, going to Rome. Then I will be on my way to Spain the next day.” She explained to him. 

      All the while her heart was breaking. She knew she would not be coming back to Istanbul until the unthinkable happened, the death of her parents.

      Leaving Istanbul this time may be even harder than the first…….But staying would never be an option…      

Chapter 23

 The more that Can thought about Mr. Nihat and his illness, the more upset he got with Sanem. How could she not come home if her dad was sick, he thought, It just didn’t sound like her at all.  But it had been a long time since he had seen her, maybe she was nothing like he remembered. Maybe she wasn’t the same person at all.

      As soon as he got home he got busy booking his flight back to Thailand. The quicker he could leave here the better off he would be. The return flight would be much like it was when he came. He would leave the next afternoon, taking a direct flight to Dubai. With a four hour lay over there, then he would take a flight into Bangkok. 

      He felt apprehensive at first to confirm the flights, but he knew he had too. So a single tap on his phone and he had sealed his plans for the rest of his life. He knew he wouldn’t come back to Istanbul, not until he had to say goodbye to his dad.

      A strange feeling of uneasiness passed through his body as he looked at his confirmed boarding pass. This seemed more final than the first time he left. 

      When he left the first time he was in shock, he needed time to think. All that he had loved had turned on him, but he hadn’t thought of never coming back to Istanbul, that hadn’t been the plan. But over time he buried the hurt and the pain, making him think he was ok, so he refused to let himself return.

     This time he knew what he had to do….he had to forget her. He closed his eyes, wanting nothing more than to hold her in his arms again. But that would not happen. 

      He still had the scarf that he had found at the cabin in his pocket. He pulled it from his pocket,   wishing desperately it had been hers. The smell was still there, that potent smell of wildflowers that aroused him like nothing else could. He needed to find out who the scarf belonged to before he left.. and a final trip to the cabin to say goodbye. Maybe I will sell the cabin, he thought, I have no more use for it….

      With Sanem’s flight leaving the next afternoon, she didn’t have much time to say goodbye. She decided to wait until the next day before visiting the cabin for the last time. She wanted to spend  the evening with CeyCey and Gulize, since she wasn’t sure if she would ever return to Istanbul, she wanted to spend her last evening with them.

      They had planned to meet on the pier at their favorite outdoor cafe. She was treating them to a dinner and all the tea they could drink. The laughed and talked, spending the whole evening there. ” Sanem, I am dying to visit your home in Puerto Baquerizo Moreno. It sounds so dreamy.” Gulize swooned, closing her eyes to imagine it. 

      ” That would be great. I welcome you anytime. That is if Deren will let you have time off.” Samen smirked, remembering the many times that she had walked a fine line just trying to keep her job and stay on the good side of Deren.

      Gulize huffed, ” I know…..I wanted to take a couple of hours off yesterday for personal reasons and she refused, and all just because Mr. Emre has taken a leave of absence. I told her I don’t have anything to do with the financial part of things….but she wouldn’t listen.”

      ” Mr. Emre has taken a leave? Why, what has happened.” Sanem asked, a little alarmed at the thought. CeyCey cleared his throat loudly, ” Gulize, let’s not bore Sanem with the agency’s problems. I’m sure she doesn’t care about any of them.” He spoke quickly, ready for the conversation to move on to something different. 

      Sanem was immediately curious, she wondered if something had happened to Can and Emre had to take off, ” No, I want to know what happened. Gulize go ahead, tell me.” She urged, with a concerned look on her face.

      ” It’s Mr. Aziz. He is very ill. He had been in the hospital.” She blurted out. Sanem was stunned,  almost in shock, ” Really, he is that bad. I hope he gets better soon.” she answered, feeling as if there was something more. 

     CeyCey stood quickly, ” Gulize, there you go, gossiping again. Let’s say goodnight, it’s late and Sanem has packing to do.” He replied, as he felt the blood run hot through his body. He quickly gave Sanem a peck on the cheek and wished her a safe trip home.

      He firmly took Gulize’s arm pulling her down the pier, ” CeyCey, what are you doing. I didn’t even get to give her a hug. What is wrong with you.” She spouted, jerking away from him. 

      CeyCey pulled her further away, ” Gulize, Sanem doesn’t know that Mr. Can is here, and I don’t want her to know. They don’t need to see each other.” He muttered through gritted teeth.

      Sanem sat there confused at what had just happened. So Mr. Aziz was sick. Mr. Emre had taken a leave to take care of him……I wonder where Can is, she thought. Did he know his dad was sick. If he knew he would have been here, that she knew for sure.

      Her head was full of their conversation as she walked home. I can’t believe that Can didn’t come home to be with his father, that’s not at all like him. But, it had been a while since she had seen him. Maybe he isn’t the same person he once was….she thought….

      The actions of her friend had always been strange, but this time had been the strangest. CeyCey had been more nervous than usual with her, and she wondered if Mr. Aziz’s illness had anything to do with it.  

       She took a deep breath as she reached the door of her parents home. This may just be the last time she would stand in front of this door, unlock it with her key and go inside. The last time she would have to hide her feelings from her mother, and tell her that everything was fine.

      Leila met her at the top of the stairs. ” You have been gone for a long time, where did you go?” Her sister asked, her eyes narrowed as she questioned her. ” I was just walking. I talked with CeyCey and Gulize and then they had to leave, so I just took a walk. You know Gulize told me something odd tonight. Did you know that Mr. Aziz is sick and in the hospital?” Sanem said, wondering if her sister had already known about it.

     ” Well, I…I don’t remember, I think….maybe Deren mentioned it the day I called her, but I can’t be sure.” Leila stuttered and sputtered about trying to find the right words. ” But I’m sure he will be fine.” She blurted out, spinning around quickly and heading to her room.

      Sanem shook her head, puzzled at her reaction, Why is everyone acting so weird about Mr. Aziz, she thought as she switched off the light and started down the hall to her room.

      Leila sat on the side of her bed, praying that Sanem didn’t open her door and demand to know more about Mr. Aziz. Her eyes closed and her breath suspended inside her, she listened as Sanem walked down the hall, past her door and into her room, closing the door behind her.

      She let out all of her pent up breath with force. She knew if Sanem had any idea that Can might be in Istanbul for his dad, she would insist on visiting Mr. Aziz just in hopes of seeing Can.

       As much as she wanted her sister to stay……she wouldn’t be able to relax until Sanem was on that plane tomorrow, headed back to Galápagos Islands…..

       And as far away from Istanbul and Can Divit as she could get…. She never wanted to see her sister hurt like that again…..

Chapter 24

Can had packed what things he had brought with him and waited for Emre to get home. Emre had stopped off at the agency to grab some paperwork that needed his attention for a new client. 

      He had returned his truck to the storage garage, hoping that he wouldn’t need to use it again. He would take a taxi to the cabin, possibly staying the night there. He needed time to decide if he wanted to sell it or not. 

      The thought of selling the cabin had always made him a little nauseous, and It did even then, but if he had planned not to return to Istanbul then there was no reason to keep it. After tonight he would know if he was making the right choice.

      Emre put up a lot of resistance, but in the end Can won out. ” Emre, I need to stay at the cabin tonight, you know just to have some closure. That was our place. It meant just as much to her as it did to me. So I have to be there.” Can explained, feeling the sadness of losing her all over again.

      Can assured him that he would come to the hospital to tell him and his dad his final goodbye the next day on his way to the airport. ” I won’t leave without saying goodbye, I promise.” He told him as he got into the taxi.

      Emre felt as if he was always telling his brother goodbye. And it never got any easier as the years went by. But this time it seemed different, it seemed final, like maybe he would never come back.

      The taxi drove up the driveway, stopping at the steps leading to the cabin. It was a dark night, not very many stars twinkling about and the moon was shadowed over by the clouds that were floating across the sky. But it felt good to be there, as he stood in the darkness.

      He opened the double doors of the cabin and tossed his bag on the sofa. That familiar, but ever so slight smell of her perfume and the left over smoke from the fire pit soothed him like nothing else. He breathed it in deeply as he closed his eyes, envisioning the many times they had been there together.

      A fire was something he always had to have when he was there, so he went about filling the fire pit with wood. It didn’t take long for the wood to ignite, the flames dancing about in the darkness, just like Sanem had danced around the first time he brought her here.

      He settled down next to the fire, letting the fire warm him. This was his home, not the house where Emre and his dad lived, not his childhood home that sat high on a hill overlooking Istanbul…..This place, this cabin was his home. 

      He couldn’t imagine not having this small cabin. Even if he never came here again, he would know in his heart that this was his home, if and when he needed it. He took the scarf from his pocket, wondering who it belonged to how it had found its way to this cabin. Although it was larger than the bandana that he had kept of hers, and he believed there was no way that Sanem could have been the owner of this scarf,  he still had a strange attachment to it.

      Can remembered the night he had learned that Sanem had been working with his brother to destroy him and the agency, and how he sat here in this very spot burning each and every picture that he had taken of her. It was so vivid in his mind, but t seemed so trivially now. That was the most pain he had ever felt, but at the same time the most he had ever loved anyone before.

      No, he couldn’t sell this place….he wouldn’t sell this place. That was his decision. A slight smile crept across his face and he felt at peace, letting himself drift off  to sleep.

      Sanem was having a hard time falling asleep, her mind going over and over all the times that she had spent there in her room thinking about Can Divit. When she first went to work at the agency, all she wanted was to NOT think about him. How stupid and naive she had been to believe Mr. Emre…..to believe that Can was trying to destroy the agency. 

      After her trip to Agra with Can, she began to see a different man than what Emre was describing to her. He was kind and listened to her when she told him about her desire to be a writer. She wished it had been different, but it wasn’t, bad things happened and now she was not the same person.

      She made her plans in her mind to take a taxi to the cabin the next morning, to say goodbye to that place that had been so important to her once and for all. 

      How much she wished their lives had turned out the way they planned. A friend of hers in Puerto Baquerizo Moreno had asked her once if she had thought about ever seeing Can again. At first the very conversation made her tingle with excitement, the thought of laying eyes on him, maybe even touching his hand or the feeling of surrounding his body with her arms. She had to admit, she had wondered about it, imagined it and even dreamed about it. 

      Then that same friend ask her if she was still in love with Can Divit. She remembered hesitating for a minute before answering……Yes, I do believe I am. And I do believe I always will be. He is my only love. She told her…..

      Sanem snuggled down in her bed, the thoughts of Can lingering in her mind, making her insides warm and tingly. No, that would never change….she did love him. She always would..

      Leila shook her gently, ” Sanem….Sanem, wakeup. It’s getting late, what time are you leaving.” Her sister asked. Sanem opened her eyes and looked around almost in a confused state. ” Oh, I forgot to set my alarm. What time is it?” She asked, swinging her legs off the side of the bed. ” It’s after 11:00. You will have to hurry to say goodbye to dad and get to the airport on time.” 

      Sanem jumped up, ” Why did you let me sleep so late.” She yelled, grabbing the clothes she had laid out to wear that day and stomping off to the bathroom. 

     ” I’m sorry abla. I’ll make you some tea.” She said as she headed down the hallway. Sanem was rushing about throwing her clothes on. She didn’t have time to fix her hair, so she pulled it up in a bun on top of her head. She washed her face but decided to omit a full face if makeup, just the basics and a bit of lip gloss.

      The final touch, but by far the most important, was the perfume crème. She dipped her fingers into that jar of fluffy fragrance, rubbing it evenly between her fingers, emulsifying the smell of the wildflowers before she smoothed the crème gently over her neck and down her shoulders. She closed her eyes, let the smell drift about in the small bathroom, filling her senses with memories.

      For a few seconds she was transported back to years before, and the time she had given Can a gift of his own fragrance. That had been a magical moment and she remembered it as if it were happening all over again, her heart was pounding. Her breath shallow as she felt his warm breath on her face as he questioned her about that secret flower….the underground violet…..

      She looked around suddenly, blinking her eyes, trying to snap herself out of that trance. She tossed the jar of crème into her makeup bag and stuffed it inside her carryon bag. She took a couple of deep breaths before slipping the white Pyrex brand hoodie over her head. This hoodie had been a gift from Can and she couldn’t imagine wearing anything else on that day. It made her feel closer to him when she had it on….

      What better outfit to wear to the cabin……the place where he had given the hoodie to her…

Now she would wear it there again…..the place she would say goodbye to him……  

Chapter 25

 Can had made the decision not to sell his cabin, but the final goodbye to the cabin was more painful than ever as he locked the door for the last time. He had no plans to return but he knew that if he ever did, this cabin would be here waiting for him. 

      He had called for a taxi to take him to the hospital for the last time to say his goodbyes to his dad and Emre. The taxi honked as it pulled up the long driveway to the cabin. Can headed out to get in, but turned for one last look. The image of Sanem in his t-shirt and socks, dancing about in front of the cabin was still so vivid in his mind that it startled him.

      But he knew it was just his imagination, she wasn’t there, and she would never be there again. His heart felt heavy with regret as he closed the door of the taxi and watched this place quietly disappear from view as they drove away…

      He only had three hours to get to the hospital, say his goodbyes to his dad and his brother and get to the airport in time to catch his flight. He knew he had spent too much time at the cabin and now he would have to hurry to get to the airport, but he had needed that time there. He needed that closure of her in his life……

      He had made the biggest mistake of his life that night he left Istanbul almost 7 years ago…..and there was nothing he could do about it now but forget….

      Leila had already left to take her mother back to the hospital by the time that Sanem was dressed and ready to go. She assured them she would be there to tell her dad goodbye before heading to the airport. 

      There was only one more place she had to go before visiting the hospital; and that was the cabin. She called for a taxi and waited. She only had a few hours before her flight, so a quick last minute look around the cabin and she would be on her way, she thought.

      Her excitement had turned into sorrow as the taxi pulled up in front of the cabin. She asked the driver to wait for a moment as she opened the door and got out. The feeling was so strong it nearly took her breath away as she walked up the steps. All those memories of her life here with him flooded her thoughts.

      The fire pit that they had laid beside, the small table that had hosted many dinners for the both of them, the lounger that they had snuggled in on many occasions….all of these things were a part of her. But she knew she could never come her again.

      This was her time to say goodbye. To let it all go. She hadn’t done that all those years ago when she left for Galápagos Islands, she still had thought he would come for her there. But she had been wrong…..He didn’t come, he didn’t call, he didn’t text….So there was nothing left to do but forget….

      She walked up to the front door to look in for the last time, but to her surprise, the window shades were down keeping her from looking in. When she was there before the window shades were open and she had looked inside, remembering the small one room cabin in every detail. Had someone been there? There had to have been someone there, she thought, the shades surely didn’t close by themselves.

      Sanem stepped back away from the door and looked around, wondering if maybe they were still there, watching her from the trees. Had Can sold the cabin, she wondered, but why would everything be the same inside if he had. No….someone had been there, she just knew it…but who.

      An uncomfortable feeling filled her, ” Maybe I shouldn’t have come.” She mumbled, backing away slowly, scanning the small hut with her eyes. ” This is harder than when I left the first time. I’m saying goodbye to every part of you, to every part of us.” She spoke out loud, as if she were speaking to Can himself.

      The tears stung her eyes and she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold them back. Her heart ached so badly she thought it would break, as she realized she would do anything to have this part of her life back…But it was clear that Can Divit didn’t feel the same. He had moved on…..     

      She turned quickly and headed toward the waiting taxi, wanting desperately to escape that sick rumbling in her stomach. Ok Sanem, that’s it…..you’ve said goodbye. Now get in the taxi and leave…..Her inner voice shouted inside her head…

       She barely remembered getting into the taxi, as the grief of losing him again filled her heart. Her eyes blurred with tears as she watched the cabin slowly disappear from sight, and then… it was gone….But she had filed the memory of that hut and all that had happened there away in her mind…..and there it would stay.

     ” Driver I am so sorry, but can you please hurry. I have to get to the hospital quickly.” She told him, as she shifted nervously in the backseat.  She had stayed too long at the cabin and now she would have to say a very quick goodbye to her parents and get to the airport. She had less than 2 hours to catch her flight to Rome. 

      The taxi stopped in front of the hospital, Sanem paid and grabbed her small bag. She hurried to the elevator, still feeling the hurt and the pain from the goodbye to the cabin. Just say your goodbyes and be on your way, She told herself. It’s time to get as far away from Istanbul as you can….

      She rushed down the hallway and into her dads room. ” Sorry I’m so late. We got tied up in a traffic jam.” She explained, bending down to give her dad a kiss. ” So how are we feeling today? You look great by the way.” She said, trying to hide the pain she was feeling.

      ” I’m good my daughter. You can return to your home and I don’t want you to worry about me. I promised your mother to follow her orders to a tee.” Nihat replied, as he stroked her hair. Sanem smiled, ” Mom will make sure you do. I wouldn’t want to cross her if I were you.” She whispered in his ear, giving him a kiss on the cheek. 

       Can glanced at his watch, ” Dad I have to be going if I’m going to catch my flight. Take care and listen to the doctors. I’ll check in once I’m back in Thailand.” Can told him, leaning down for a hug. ” Emre, take good to are of him. Call me if you need anything.” He said, wrapping his arms around his little brother. ” Take care brother…..” He muttered, as he snatched up his duffel bag and hurried out the door. 

      He had never been one for goodbyes, especially a goodbye that was so final. He knew he would never come back, not until his……well, not until he had too. 

      He was cutting it short to get to the airport in time. He took advantage of this ride to the airport look around this beautiful city one more time. To remember his home here, his life here…..and his love here..

      The only love that would ever be in his heart…….Sanem..

Chapter 26

Sanem took a few minutes to say goodbye to her mom and Leila, but she hadn’t left herself much time to get to the airport. She had less than an hour to get there, and she knew how the traffic was in the city. 

      She gave her mom a huge hug, ” Mom, if you need anything please call me. I can send money if you need it.” She muttered in her ear as they hugged. Sanem had already made up her mind that she would not return to her home here until the she would have to say that final goodbye to her parents. 

      She closed her eyes tightly, squeezing back the tears that were burning there. Her time was going by quickly as she reached for Leila, ” Abla, take good care of them, and I’m sorry to leave you alone with such a task….but I have to leave. You understand, don’t you.” Sanem asked as she stepped back and looked into her sisters face.

      Leila was fighting back the tears as well, ” Yes my dear, I understand, and I agree. You have to go.” She spoke softly and quietly as she stroked Sanems hair. This goodbye was more final that the last one, she knew that. Her sister was not coming back…..

      Sanem put on a smile before turning around to give her dad that last goodbye hug, ” Now dad  I want you to take extra good care of yourself.  And please listen to your doctors and to mom.” She scolded him teasingly. 

      She leaned down to give him a hug but he pulled her down closer to him, ” My daughter, I know you must go now,  but don’t let Can Divit run you away again. Please don’t let him be the reason I never get to see your face again.” He mumbled in her ear, so softly that she had to strain to hear it.

      That feeling of helplessness and dread churned about in her stomach as she listened to the words from her dad. ” You have to be stronger than the love you feel for him, or that love will destroy you.” Her dad spoke to her before letting her go.

      She smiled, hoping that he didn’t see the pain in her eyes, ” Never dad, that will never happen.” She said, her lips trembling as she spoke. She quickly wiped her eyes, ” Now I have to get going or I will miss my plane for sure.” 

      As she started out, she turned for one final look at her family. ” Was she running away like her dad said…..was she letting Can send her away from the only family she had”….. She gave them a big smile and walked out into the hallway before she let herself lose control.

      The tears came rushing out of her as she walked toward the elevator. Leila came after her, calling her name. ” Sanem, wait.” She called to her. Sanem stopped in front of the elevator and waited, ” Abla, don’t make this any harder than it already is, please. I have to go and I can’t let myself return her.” She spoke, her voice trembling with emotion.

      Leila embraced her, ” I know, I just needed one last hug.” She sighed as she wrapped her arms around her little sister. ” You know I really dislike Can Divit for what he has done to you. He has taken you away from us.” Leila spoke quietly into her ear.

      Sanem closed her eyes, ” Please don’t feel that way. This is a battle within my heart, and untiI I can win that battle I will not be back.” She said, wiping the tears from her face.. ” Too many memories, too many mistakes and too much love is still inside me. So you see, it’s my problem.” 

      Leila watched the door of the elevator close slowly and the last image of her sister disappear. But she wondered what would have happened if Sanem had known that Can was there in Istanbul. What would have happened if they had met, what would she have done. The thought was overwhelming, almost sickening, as she turned to walk back to her dads room. 

      Someone calling out her name startled her, ” Leila….Leila is that you.” Emre shouted from down the hallway. Leila turned quickly, shocked to see Emre. ” Mr. Emre, hello….what are you doing here.” She stuttered, trying to act of if she didn’t know that Aziz Divit was in the room down the hall.

      Emre looked confused, “Is there something wrong, why are you here?” He asked again. Leila hesitated for a minute before answering. ” Well my dad had a bit of a health scare, but he is fine now.” She answered nervously.

      ” So he is here in the hospital….on this floor.”  He asked. She nodded, ” Yes, but he is doing much better so he will be going home soon. And you, why are you here.” She said, shifting her eyes away. 

      ” My dad was ill as well. He is in the room at the end of this hallway. And your dad is where?” He said pointing the other way. Leila felt her heart pounding hard as she answered, ” He is down this hallway, on the left. I won’t keep you Mr. Emre and I hope Mr. Aziz gets to go home soon.” She spoke as she turned to walk away, praying silently that he didn’t ask anymore questions.

      Emre nodded, ” I see. It’s strange that we haven’t run into each other before now. And who were you seeing off on the elevator….was it anyone I know.” Emre asked. He could tell by the way the Leila was acting that there was more to this story than she was telling.

      She shut her eyes tightly as she felt the blood drain from her body. ” Leila, who just got on the elevator. Please tell me, and I hope it’s not who I think it was.” Emre replied, his voice wavering as he spoke. She turned toward him, ” And who would that be…are you referring to my sister.” She spoke defensively.

      Emre took a step closer to Leila, ” Was it Sanem, was that you were saying goodbye to on the elevator. Did she come back to be with your dad?” He asked almost in a whisper. He knew he was right even without her having to answer. ” Leila….Can was home too. He came to be with dad. You know what that means…..they were here at the same time.” He told her, his eyes growing wide.

      Leila sighed, ” Yes, it was Sanem. But they didn’t run into each other, that I’m sure of. And she’s leaving now going back to Galapagos Island anyway, so you don’t have to worry.” She snipped back at him. It made her angry to think that Mr. Emre was worried about Sanem presence there in Istanbul may upset Can. 

      Emre reached out for her arm…” Leila, I didn’t mean it that way. I wouldn’t want to upset either of them. But I can tell you, Can talked about Sanem a lot while he was here. He wanted to know everything about her.” Emre told her.

      Leila’s eyes grew wide, ” What are you saying Mr. Emre. You think that your brother may still have feelings for Sanem.” She questioned him, hoping that he wouldn’t confirm that. She didn’t want to think about it, what if he did, what would that do to her sister.

      Emre nodded his head slightly, ” Yes, I think he does. He demanded to know everything I knew about her, which wasn’t much. He sounded so desperate when he asked if she had gotten married…..that’s when I knew he hadn’t gotten over her.”

      Leila looked away, trying to hide her feeling of disgust. ” Well we all got the same thing from Sanem. She asked the same questions about Can.” 

      She turned and looked directly into Emre eyes, ” I guess it’s a good thing that they didn’t run into each other then…..I wouldn’t want him to break my sisters heart again”……Leila snapped, as she pulled her arm from Emre’s grasp and walked defiantly down the hallway…..

Chapter 27

Emre watched Leila walk down the hall, relieved that Can and Sanem had not bumped into each other. As bad as he hated to see his brother leave Istanbul, he was glad he had. 

      Leila took a deep breath as she stopped in front of her dad’s room. She was so annoyed at Mr. Emre for thinking that Can and Sanem hadn’t forgotten each other, even if it was true. She was so glad that Sanem was leaving Istanbul now, and for her own sake she hoped she never returned.

      The airport was busy for a weekday afternoon as Can stood there looking on the board for his gate. He had a little time to spare before his flight was to leave, so he decided to have that final cup of Turkish Tea in the cafe. 

      This had been an exhausting trip, he thought, as he weaved his way through the crowd to the small cafe tucked away in the corner of the mezzanine. But he wasn’t sure if he was all that glad about his decision to leave and never come back. That was beginning to feel a bit to final for him.

      As bad as he wanted to turn back time, undo some of the things that he had done and said, he knew it may not make a difference. Maybe Sanem didn’t feel the same way, maybe she had found happiness with her new life and didn’t miss him at all. 

      A strange rumbling in his stomach struck him as he sat down at the small round table. He had never considered that before. A small twinge of pain seemed to pierce his heart as he thought of the possibility. He closed his eyes, forcing the thought to vanish from his mind.

      He mechanically sipped the hot tea from the paper cup. Not at all the way he liked to drink his tea, but this would have to do. After all, it would be the last cup of Turkish tea he would have for quite some time. He savored the hot liquid. This had to be the best tasting drink he had ever had.. especially when Sanem had made it for him, he remembered, thinking back on those times.  

It seemed as if it was just yesterday that he sat at his desk at the agency enjoying her specially  brewed tea. He wasn’t  sure what she had done to it, but was by far the most delicious tea he had ever drank, or was it just the fact that she was the one to bring it to him. The thought of it made him smile. He looked around the small cafe to see if anyone was looking at him, and how silly he must have seemed, sitting there smiling awkwardly to himself.

      These were the things that never left his mind. The denial of her feelings for him in the beginning, the way she sent him such mixed signals. He recalled all the times he had bared his heart to her about the way he felt, and all the times she had rejected him. She was like no one else he knew, she challenged him, she made him fight for her.

      He closed his eyes, taking the last sip of the tea. Now it was time to let go…..now it was time to try to forget what they had….now it was time for him to accept what he had done.. He had killed the love she had for him. 

Sanem handed the money to the driver, ” Thank you for getting me here so quickly, I certainly didn’t want to miss this flight” She remarked, as she grabbed her carryon bag and exited the taxi. One last look around, one more long breath, drawing in the smell that was so distinctively Istanbul, before she boarded her flight to Rome…

     The decision not to return to Istanbul had been a tough one to make, but it seemed to be the only one. So many memories of how her life had been, it hurt to badly to think that maybe he had moved on. She had to face that thought, the possibility of Can not having the same feeling for her. She inhaled and exhaled forcefully as she walked toward the open door of the airport.

      She had been there many times but each time she was overwhelmed. The crowd of people always distracted her. She searched for her flight on the huge board of incoming and outgoing flights. ” Ahh, there it is, and it looks like I have barely made it.” She mumbled under her breath.

      Of course her gate was at the farthest end of the airport, and the thought of getting a tea before she boarded would be out of the question now. She picked up her bag and headed toward her gate. Istanbul airport was one of the largest airports in the world, and getting to gate 39 to catch her flight would not be easy…

      Can had finished his tea and decided to make his way to his gate to wait for his flight time. Maybe he would call CeyCey and say a final goodbye to his friend. They hadn’t left on the best of terms at the last meeting, and he didn’t like being at odds with him. Just a quick call to say goodbye…..and NO questions about Sanem….He said to himself. 

      He was in a world of his own as he rode the escalator down to the terminal floor. His mind still  full of her and what he had left behind. He needed gate 12, so as he stepped off the escalator he looked around to see which way to go. He spotted the sign that pointed left to Gate 12, so he stepped out into the crowd of people and headed left toward his gate.

Sanem had gotten caught up in a sea of people as she worked her way through the terminal. She was beginning to panic, wondering if she would be able to make it to the boarding bridge in time. She looked around at the next gate ahead, ” This is only Gate 10. I will never make it in time.” She spoke to herself. 

      As she weaved her way through the crowd, she felt a hard shove from behind, causing her to stumble and drop her shoulder bag. She stopped, trying to bend over to pick it up from the floor, but the rush of people going by kept pushing her further away. She fought her way back through the crowd to where her bag was lying on the floor. 

      Just as she bent over to pick up her bag it was kicked aside by another person. She lunged for it, trying to stop it. At the same time she was reaching for the bag, she felt a strong hand grab hold of her arm to keep her from falling, ” Excuse me, but I’m trying to retrieve my bag.” She snapped, jerking her arm free from the hand.

      She quickly snatched her bag from the floor and as she stood and turned to continue on her way through the airport she ran into the man that had grabbed her arm…” Excuse me” she huffed, ” Can I pas…..she stopped in mid sentence as her eyes came to rest on the face of Can Divit……

      The loud noise from the busy terminal had suddenly grown dead silent, all she could hear was the beating of her own heart……Her lungs were refusing to fill with air, and she felt lightheaded. She closed her eyes and then opened them again, blinking several times. No, she wasn’t seeing him…..he wasn’t standing there so close to her that she could feel his breath on her face……

Can couldn’t move, he didn’t want to. Was it her, was she standing there in front of him. He opened his mouth to speak but he couldn’t make a sound. The shock of it had left him unable to breathe, to think, to even feel. His body was trembling and he couldn’t make it stop…..

     After what seemed like hours, he finally managed to utter a word, ” Sanem….Sanem, is it. Is it really you.” He asked, his voice straining to talk. He wanted to reach out and touch her, but his body was paralyzed. His eyes had locked onto her and he was unable to look away.

      Sanem could barely speak as she answered, ” Yes Can, it’s me. What…why….what are you doing here.” She stumbled with the words, her heart beating so hard she was afraid she would pass out……

In that second, their lives would change forever…… 

Chapter 28

The sound of her voice sent a mass of goosebumps that covered his body. The word, miracle, was the only word that had crossed his mind as he stood there looking into her eyes. At that moment they were the only two people in the world in that mad rush of people that filled the airport terminal.

     Sanem stood there almost mesmerized by his presence, the look in his eyes, and the closeness of his body to hers. Her throat was dry as she tried to swallow before speaking again.   ” Can, I can’t believe it’s you. It’s been so long.” She muttered, resisting the urge to reach out and touch his face.

      He couldn’t keep that very so slight smile from forming on his mouth as he listened to her voice. She was so close to him that he could hear her breathing, yet she still seemed to far away to touch. He knew he needed to say something, anything, but the sight of her had all but rendered him speechless. 

      Sanem stood there wondering if he was going to reply to her. She felt a bit uncomfortable with the way he was staring at her. It was as if he was looking at a ghost. ” Can, are you ok.” She asked, reaching out to touch his arm. Her actions surprised even her, but not as much as they surprised him, according to the look on his face.

      That slight touch from her had nearly caused his heart to stop beating, and he was sure it showed on his face.  ” Yes, yes, I’m ok Sanem. How are you. I can’t…I don’t believe it’s really you.” He stammered about. He seemed to be in what they called, an out of body experience. He could see them standing there face to face, as if he were watching from a distance. 

      Sanem was trying hard to get her senses about her. The feel of his skin as she touch him made her know he was real, and standing there in front of her. Up until that moment, she wasn’t sure of anything. ” Yes it’s me.” She answered, ” But Can, what are you doing here?” She asked, feeling her head begin to clear.

      Can blinked his eyes as if he were coming it of a trance of some sort, ” Oh, oh I was here visiting my dad. He was sick and in the hospital, so I had to rush home.” He spoke, not sure if the words were coming out right. ” And you, are you coming or going.” He asked.

      ” Really, your dad was sick.” She replied, cocking her head to one side, trying to hide the fact she already knew his dad was sick. ” How strange, my dad was sick too. But he is better now. And Mr. Aziz, I hope he is doing better also.” She asked, her voice quivering with nerves. She looked away from his eyes, feeling as if she might faint if she kept looking into those eyes. He had always been able to bring her to her knees with nothing more than a look.

      ” Ah, yes, dad is doing much better.” He finally replied after a minute. ” I needed to get back to my job, so I…..but I am glad your dad is recovering. How long have you been here in Istanbul.” He blurted out sounding desperate to know so he could piece this puzzle all together.

      ” Me….oh, I’ve been here about four days, but you know, my work is calling me back home as well.” She spoke, as she looked around the busy terminal. ” In fact my plane will be leaving shortly…..so….I guess..” Sanem fidgeted about with her bags, hoping and wishing for the strength to walk away calmly and respectfully, without looking like a blundering fool. 

      Can nodded, ” I see. So you don’t have time to talk. I would really like to catch up, find out how you have been.” He mumbled quietly. He felt as if his heart would burst as he stood there gazing into her face. ” Im sorry for walking away……” He began to speak, but Sanem held up her hand stopping him before he had time to finish.

      ” Can, there is not reason to get into that. Not now, at least. And certainly not here.” She snipped back at him. Can could feel the tears burn hot in his eyes so he looked away, trying to make them go away. ” I see, so you don’t want to talk about it.” Can replied, swiping his hand across his face nervously..

      The voice over the loud speaker was calling out for the passengers for flight TK1861 to Rome, Italy to make their way to Gate 39.  It seemed as if she had just woke up from a strange dream, as she looked around. ” Oh, that’s my flight. I have to go.” She spoke, grabbing her small carryon bag. ” Can, it was so good to see you again. But, I have to get to my gate. Maybe another time.” She muttered, as she slowly turned to walk away. But every inch of her body was fighting against her making it hard to even move.

      Can didn’t move, didn’t speak, just stood there paralyzed with regret and fear. ” Can, it really was good to see you.” She repeated, as she rested her hand on his arm for a second before starting off toward Gate 39.

      A cold chill filled his body, Was she gone….did she walk away. The thoughts racing like a train through his mind. Every moment of their lives together filled his head, running like a clip from an old movie. He was numb, and it took him a second to think straight, but when he did, he turned around to stop her, but she was gone. She had disappeared, as if she had been swallowed up by this sea of rushing people.

      He strained is eyes to try and find her in the crowd, to try and spot the white Pyrex hoodie that she was wearing, the one that he had gifted to her years before. 

      A strange tingling feeling crept up his body, one that he had never felt before. He had let her go….he had let her walk away from him again. He needed to sit down, he needed to think about what just happened. 

      He groped his way the short distance to Gate 12. He still had a while to wait for his flight to Dubai, so he found a seat. His mind was still in a fog of disbelief…..what had he done? 

      Sanem rushed through the crowd, but her legs felt as if they were trodding through a pit of wet cement. Each step grew more and more difficult to take, each step that took her further and further away from him. She remembered the feelings she had the first time she walked through this terminal to leave Istanbul, and they were much the same as the feelings she had now. 

      Gate 39 was in sight, as she hurried on through the crowd. She would barely have time to get through security and then on to the boarding bridge. Why did she have to run into him….why now. She had made her peace with this place, she had said her final goodbye to her home….and to him, so Why Now…..the voice screamed in her head….

      There were only a few people in front of her at security, and then it was on to the check in desk. But why was she dreading it….why did she want so badly to turn back. 

       She knew her home was in Galápagos Island now, not here in Istanbul……Her life was there, her friends were there……….But her heart was not there…….

      Her heart was here…..her soul was here….everything she had ever wanted was here…

Chapter 29

Sanem had passed through the security gate. Now all she needed to do is make her way to the boarding desk, hand in her ticket and walk the long boarding bridge to board her flight.

      She was in a daze, a rush of emotion and almost a feeling of panic filled her head. But she continued on mechanically making her way to that final step of leaving Istanbul. ” Good afternoon ma’am, your flight is boarding. Have a wonderful trip.” The woman at the desk said as she handed Sanem her part of the ticket. 

      Sanem managed a slight smile as she took the ticket. She hesitated for a minute before stepping around the desk and heading on toward the walkway to board her plane. Was she sure….was this what she wanted to do….Did she want to step aboard that plane and never look back…..

Yet she continued on, moving at a snail’s pace. With each step her heart beat harder, faster, and her breath became more labored. Her inner voice had been silent up until now, not offering any type of logical explanation, not giving her any well-meaning words of wisdom. 

She was halfway down the boarding bridge when that voice in her head finally spoke…..” So, you will let Can Divit off the hook again. You are going to walk away without demanding an answer or an apology from this man that shattered you heart into a million pieces…..Well done Sanem..

The words were so loud that they scared her, making her look around behind her frantically for the person that had said them, but none of those people were talking to her……She stopped, letting the other passengers rush by her and on toward the door of the plane. She couldn’t go…..she wouldn’t go, she couldn’t make herself take another step.

       Can wasn’t sure what had happened, why had fate decided to throw them together again with such force that it felt like he may die.  How was he supposed to go on with his plans now. How was he going to be able to forget her and all that the love he had for her…..He didn’t know how that would ever happen now.

      His life seemed meaningless as he sat there waiting for his flight, his whole body consumed with the pain of losing her. Yes, he would return to Thailand and his work, but he wouldn’t be happy, it wouldn’t mean anything to him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the scarf that he had found at the cabin. It was smooth and silky to his touch, just like her skin. 

      Why hadn’t anyone told him that Sanem was here in Istanbul….why hadn’t CeyCey, the person he trusted most in this world, tell him that she was there. Things could have been so different, maybe they could have talked, he could have explained…….He closed his eyes, fighting back the tears. “Explained what…..what could he explain?  How would he be able to explain what he did…

It made him feel better to hold the scarf in his hands as he waited. The thought of her leaving,  getting on a plane and flying away made him feel sick inside. Now he knew how she must have felt the day he left. The emptiness, the loneliness, the hurt…..it was almost to much to bear..

      He wanted to stop her. He wanted to run through the terminal screaming her name until he found her. But he didn’t know which gate she had gone to, in fact he didn’t even know where she was flying to from here. His mind was frantic, his heart was racing, “He had to do something, he had to try and stop her. If he didn’t he would never be able to live with himself.” He thought as he felt his body shake and his breathing become short and uncontrolled.

      The announcement over the intercom was letting him know that his flight would be boarding shortly, so he had to decide……was he going after her, or would he once again turn his back on the only person that he had ever loved. 

      He had always thought himself a strong willed and decisive person. One that knew what he wanted and went after it with force, but with Sanem Aydin he had lost all terms of reason. He was lost without her, that was the only thing that mattered.

      Sanem watched as the other passengers rushed by to board the plane, but she knew she couldn’t be one of them. She had to go back…..

      She hurried back down the boarding bridge. The door was beginning to close, ” Stop, wait….I’m coming out. Sorry but I can’t go.” She sputtered to the attendant. ” But ma’am, the doors are closing. They won’t hold the plane for you. If you don’t go now, you will miss your flight.” The woman yelled to her.

     Sanem smiled, ” I know…..but I can’t go. Thank you for holding to bridge door for me, but I won’t be leaving Istanbul today.” She spoke firmly and boldly…

      Now to find Can….she had to find his boarding gate. She rushed back toward the spot where they had bumped into each other. For some reason she felt that was the place she needed to start. 

      As she rushed back toward that spot, she saw him. He was unmistakable, even from a distance she knew it was him. He was sitting off to himself in front of Gate 12. She stopped and took a deep breath before making her way to where he was seated.

      Was she doing the right thing? Was she ready for that conversation, did she really want to know why he had left her like that……YES, YES SHE DID..

      Before she even realized it, she was standing behind his seat. She was close enough to reach out and touch him, but she didn’t. He was holding something in his hands, a scarf……it was her scarf, the one she had lost at the cabin..

      ” Can, maybe you are right….maybe we do need to talk.” Sanem spoke, her voice quivering. ” I think I would like to know why you left without a word and refused to answer my hundreds, if not thousands of texts and calls…..for almost 7 years.” 

        Can looked around quickly, in shock. ” Sanem…you didn’t leave. You didn’t go.” He stuttered as he stood, his body tingling with the desire to take her in his arms, ” You came back” …….His eyes filled with tears.

       She wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around his neck, but she didn’t, she had to take control of herself. ” Yes, I came back…..and you Can Divit will give me an explanation……and what are you doing with my scarf?” She demanded, glancing at her scarf that he held in his hand

       He had missed her more than he realized. Her spunkiness was what he loved most about her…..” So, this is your scarf….I knew it was….it had to be. Ok, I will tell you everything. Will you listen?”……Can answered, as his heart filled with happiness…

      She nodded, ” Yes I will listen…..But you have to promise me you won’t leave again. I couldn’t bear it if you left again”…. Her voice cracking with emotion as she spoke..

      There she was, standing there in front of him again. He couldn’t have been happier…..No, he wouldn’t leave again….that he could promise her. Why?……because Can Divit wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice…..

Chapter 30

It seemed as if a lifetime had passed as they stood looking at each other. They both knew that this was nothing short of a miracle, and yes they did believe in miracles. 

Can didn’t know until that moment, that second of hearing her voice, that nothing in this world meant more to him than Sanem. But explaining his actions over the passed several years would be the hardest thing for him to do……because he wasn’t even sure of them himself..

As badly as she wanted to lash out at him, tell him how hurt she had been, how she nearly lost her mind from the fear of something happening to him….she couldn’t. That same old feeling of desire, that longing to feel his arms around her, to feel whole and comfortable again…that’s all she wanted.

After a few minutes Sanem finally spoke, ” So, where do you want to have this conversation. I would prefer not to have it standing in the middle of the airport.” She snipped, looking around at the mass of people still rushing around them. 

      ” Wherever you want Sanem. I will follow you wherever you want to go.” He mumbled, his heart pumping hard as he let his eyes take her in… devour her. He wanted so much to pull her up tight against his body, but he knew he had to wait…

      Sanem breathed heavily. The thought of being alone somewhere with him had excited her, but she knew that probably wasn’t the wisest thing to do. So they would need to find a nice quiet public place to have their talk. 

     ” I think maybe we should take a taxi to the coast. Yes, that’s what we will do.” She stated, shaking her head as if she was trying to convince herself. 

      Can smiled, ” Ok, that’s fine with me.” He replied, ready to go anywhere as long as it was with her.  “Let me go find a taxi. Here I’ll take your bags.” Can told her, reaching down to pick up her bag. 

      She quickly grabbed her bag, ” That’s fine I’ve got it. I’ve carried my own bags now for many years, I think I can carry them now.” She huffed, starting off to front of the airport. ” Now he wants to take my bags, after all these years he wants to give me a hand…..Hmm,”  She mumbled to herself as they headed out the door.

      He took a deep breath, he knew how stubborn she was. But he wasn’t going to let that stand in his way. They had found each other again and he wasn’t letting her go this time…

      Can grabbed the first taxi that was sitting outside the door. All he wanted was to get to a place where they could talk, not fight, just talk. He opened the door for Sanem, ” Here you go.” He said, wanting so badly to take her hand and help her into the taxi. 

      She nodded as she slide into the seat , ” Thanks.” Giving him a slight smile. Her heart was pounding so hard that she was sure he could hear it. Just the closeness of him was making her head spin, but she needed to stay in control of her feeling. She wanted answers first. 

     Can hurried around to the other side of the taxi and got in, ” Take us to the coast please.” He told the driver. 

      The drive was filled with a lot of emotions. Sanem could hardly keep her eyes off of him. The glancing at him then looking away just as he was turning to look at her. Almost as if it were a game…..but this was far from a game..

      Can knew it wasn’t going to be easy to explain to her the reason he left so many years ago, or why he stayed away. As he stole those glances of her in the backseat of the taxi, he knew that his life had been forever changed when he met her. And once again his world would be changed today because of her.

      The silence was broken by the voice of the taxi driver, ” Is this place ok sir. It’s a beautiful spot to take in the views.” He asked, bringing the taxi to  a stop. ” You didn’t say where on the coast, so I just brought you to the nearest place.” He explained, feeling uncomfortable as he waited for an answer.

      Can looked around quickly, ” Yes this is fine. Sanem, is this ok with you?” Can asked, reaching across and covering her hand with his.

      His action was subtle, catching her off guard. But just that slight touch of his hand on hers was making it difficult for her to breathe. ” Yes this is fine, thank you.” She finally managed to say, noticing that Can hadn’t removed his hand..

      The pier was almost deserted, with only a few men fishing down the way. She wasn’t sure if this was the best spot or not, but nevertheless here they were. 

       She plopped her bag down on the ground next to a bench, ” Shall we sit?” She asked, forcing herself to look directly into his eyes. 

      Can nodded, also dropping his bag next to the bench. ” Ok, yes I think we should.” He replied as he studied her. She was just as beautiful as he remembered, and just as unpredictable. That was what he loved so much about her.

      He waited, letting her be the one to start the conversation. It took a minute or two before she spoke, ” You know San Cristobal Island is beautiful. The place where I live is wonderful, but nothing compares to the coast of Istanbul. This place is just special.” She spoke softly as she gazed out into the sea.

       ” Yes it is beautiful and special, just like you.” The words surprised even him as he spoke them, but he didn’t look away from her. ” Sanem, I don’t know how I can ever undo what has been done, how I can ever tell you how I felt the day I left here and everyday since. But I want to live the rest of my life next to you trying to show you.” He said boldly and straightforward.

      She closed her eyes as she felt her heart slowly and miraculously begin to open up. The tightly wound knot in her stomach was slowly beginning to lessen as she let the words sink in….

      ”  You are hopeless Sanem. With a few fancy words from him and you’re ready to roll over and play dead. You want an explanation, or at best an apology for the last seven years of  hell”……Her inner voice screamed inside her head…

       Her eyes popped open wildly, she looked around, as if she was expecting to see where those words had come from.  Sometimes she really disliked her inner voice, and today was no different. But today, she was different. She wasn’t going to listen to a silly imaginary voice in her head any longer.

      ” Can, I think we both made some huge mistakes. But you’re leaving without letting me tell my side of the story really hurt me. And I’m not sure I can get over that. But…. I want to try.” She spoke quietly, trying to hold herself together. 

       She turned to look at him, this man she loved more than life itself, ” I want to get past it, I want it to feel the way it was before. I want us to be the people we were before. But it may not be so easy.” She said, reaching for his hand…

       Can smiled, ” Nothing about us was easy. The only thing easy about us was falling in love with you…..But loving someone for the rest of your life shouldn’t be easy. It should always be a fight. A fight to stay together no matter what.” 

       The tears began to form in her eyes, ” So are we ready to start that fight Can Divit. If we start it, just so you know, I don’t like to lose.” 

       Can slide across next to her, cupping her face in his hands…..” There are no losers in this fight Sanem. We could never lose each other, no matter how hard we try.”  He muttered, as he wiped that single tear from her face.

Coincidence, fate, luck…..All of those things had happened to Can Divit and Sanem Aydin.

They were once again together, in the same place at the same time, willing to love again.

They had been given another chance. If it hadn’t been for the illness of both their fathers, who knows how long it would have taken for fate to find them again..

They both had moved on, making a life for themselves…..but neither of them had allowed their hearts to leave the other behind…..

Their love was a destiny, a true love of fate, and a miracle of coincidence……

2 thoughts on “The Return to Istanbul”

  1. I so enjoyed this story. I wish it would continue and see how they made it work. 

    Sent from my iPhone

    <

    div dir=”ltr”>

    <

    blockquote type=”cite”>

    Like

    Reply

Leave a reply to C Dougherty Cancel reply